Guns N' Roses

Guy's Neuroses
*special introductory paragraph!
*Appetite For Destruction
*Gn'R Lies
*Use Your Illusion I
*Use Your Illusion II
*"The Spaghetti Incident?"
*Live Era '87-'93
*Chinese Democracy
Guns N' Roses were one of the hardest-rocking of the '80s hair bands until singer Axl Rose's overblown artistic aspirations and troubled mind destroyed the band.

Appetite For Destruction - Geffen 1987.
rating = 8

The smash hit debut. I very clearly recall that all the ninth grade metalheads went apewaste over it while I was busy buying every Pink Floyd album in sight. It took me many years to figure out what all the fuss was about, but finally I've grown to love almost all the songs on this loud, trebly, NON-heavy, mean, rockin', whiny, wailing, hooky hard rock album. There's your "Sweet Child O' Mine," which is probably the most beautiful heavy metal ballad ever writ (once you ignore weird lyrics like "her hair reminds me of a warm safe place where as a child I'd hide".....exactly where WAS this boy hiding, for chrissake????), then there's your "Welcome To The Jungle," "It's So Easy," and "Paradise City," which rock and jiggle harder than a throbbing erect building, and oh, then of course there's your "You're Crazy," which combines the speed of the Ramones with the glam sleaze of the New York Dolls in a particularly enjoyable mannuh, and "Mr. Brownstone" about the heroin and djslfkdfsaghk r (*dies*)

Reader Comments (Jim Hull)
An album from a band who took the sound from Aerosmith's Rocks, and Never Mind The Bollocks... by the Sex Pistols, and called it their own. Hmmm. Got a tape of this from my little brother in 1989 to see what all the hubbub was about...cursing, stomping, some cheese, some screaming... It's been done before, and better, but I really have only one thing to say negative about this group: (And I base this on not only Appetite, but the rest of the catalog) W. Axl Rose. Jeez. Can you hear the absolute arrogance in this guy's voice?? Even to his own bandmates? Why does he have to hold every ending out to doodle around vocally? Slash plays a fairly kick-ass/Joe Perry solo...who cares?? Axl Rose is "singing", by God--AND YOU'D BETTER LISTEN!! The guy is unique in that he has an instantly recognisable voice, but wow, does he ever stomp on the rest of the band. Embarrassing. But hey, it's just my opinion. (David Aurand)
I got ahold of this album before it was "in". In fact, I saw these guys OPEN for Motley Crue in Lakeland, Florida back in 1987. They stole the show with their short time on stage (30 minutes). This album/disc has some extremely jammin' tunes on it, no doubt about it. Unfortunately, I never thought anything they did as a whole matched this first load..... Apparantly a little too big for his britches.......and the rest of the guys did too much booze and shooting to thrill......that they couldn't regain the momentum.
Good cd. The only Guns cd I own. I love "Welcome to the Jungle" and "It's so easy".
I can beat your "I Saw Them When..." story by a long mile.

I saw them when they OPENED for The Lords Of The New Church! (circa 1986?'87?)

G.H.A. (Gilbert van Hagen)
Great album. My personal favorites are (the lyrics of) "It's so easy" and, of course, "Sweet child o' mine". The album lacks a little in diversity, but I'd still give it nine out of ten. Axl Rose has always struck me as a strong personality who seems responsible for much of the success of this band. Still, it is a shame that his ego problems seem to cause the huge delay in the recording of new material. (The Chameleon)
What can i say? This album does kick major ass. And Axl Rose's sometimes very annoying voice doesnt sound bad in this album at all. I really like "Welcome To the Jungle"....but who the fuck doesn't? "Its so Easy" is's a great album...the only song that sucks is "Paradise City"...but nothing else is bad..its well worth your money.. and the best album i have from GNR.
I can't believe that in your review of Appetite for Destruction and in the emails added on there was no mention of Nighttrain. If you don't get the album's appeal, when you're really plastered blast Nighttrain and then you'll know. I'm telling ya right now. By the way, great sight, lotsa good reading on here. (Paul Stewardson)
I agree with "HDVW143". The first two songs kick ass but then it all goes a bit gay. (Andrew Pazulla)
The first side of this album is one of the greatest moments in hard rock. My one complaint would be that there's no variation in mood, and the songs are a bit immature. But

1. Welcome to the Jungle ("You can have anything you want, but you better not take it from me")
2. It's so Easy ("I make a fire but I miss the firefight/I hit the bullseye every night")
3. Nighttrain - 2nd favourite
4. Outta get me
5. Mr. Brownstone - my favourite
6. Paradise City

are all great. Listen to the twin guitars... The band seems pathetic now, but at the time no one else was even close. I'd agree that the second side is weaker (aside from Sweet Child) but the first side more than makes up for this. In my opinion, the most exciting hard rock record of the the 80s (sit down Back In Black fans, I agree that that album is great, but this is better in my mind due to stronger songwriting.) Certainly not perfect, but their best album BY FAR....

9/10 (Josh Cable)
Hey, I had this album for a year and didn't review it. So ok.

The last few minutes of Rocket Queen, and Think About You suck worst on this album. And it's pretty damn bad. Sweet Child O Mine is boring now, so I'll never bother listening to it ever again.

Every other track is just awesome rock and roll heaven. The songs are all perfect evil asskickers from HELL. Plus, it's constantly walking the line bewteen hard rock and metally death metal. Anything Goes is fast as hell, meaning awesome. My Michelle is so mean, it's just wonderful.

I paid $30 for this. It was gold, and ultra remastered or something. Well worth it. Think About You is just gay though. It is mowtherfukking GEY. (Roland Fratzl)
Not bad...certainly refreshingly dirty and slimy amidst the over-produced hair metal poseurs who had a vise-like grip on MuchMusic (that's right! I said MuchMusic, cuz it's Canadian and far superior to your inferior MTV wannabe music station!!!! :P). I still think it's way overrated, the same way Nevermind was. Neither of the two are truly brilliant classics at all, but they were in the right place at the right time, and their fate in hard rock history is nonetheless sealed, ensuring maximum exposure to this stuff for the rest of our natural lives, while the truly great albums of all time continue to go unnoticed! I'll admit though that "Welcome To The Jungle" may be one of the catchiest gritty hard rock songs of the 80's. I first remember hearing it playing in the background of the tv ad's for the fifth (and so far, final) Dirty Harry movie, the Dead Pool, in 1988, starring the great Clint Eastwood! I was a kid and it was the first hard rock song I ever remember actually liking, although I didn't really admit to that until years later. I think it plays in the movie while filming a music video with a then unknown Jim Carrey who plays a drugged out rocker...great flick, go rent it! I always liked the other big hits "Paradise City" and "Sweet Child 'O Mine", but the rest of the album never impressed me much, and I haven't listened to it in about 2 years because these songs still get played on the radio every five fuckin minutes. (Fluffy Bunny)
I wish them all to be buggered by imigrants.

These guys are to Rock what Mad cow is to Beef.

Thso os the only good album...yet it still sucks somehat.
Well, there's two things that come to mind here.

1.) This release is incredibly dated despite being a fairly recent release.
2.) Nick Sergakis is really, really stupid.

Fuck what everyone else says, there's a decent amount of great songs on this one. Obviously "Welcome to the Jungle" and "Paradise City" are awesome, but so are "Mr. Brownstone," "Out Ta Get Me," "It's So Easy," "My Michelle," (fuck you, Prindle), and my favorite, "Nightrain." Maybe an eight, maybe a nine. Doesn't matter, though, because "Sweet Child of Mine" is so fucking overrated it's not even funny... (Scott Campbell)
appetite for destruction was yes, an average debut album...MAYBE FOR ABOUT 1984....if this album wasnt realeased so much later i probly wouldnt have cared...but by the time guns n roses became on the scene, hair bands were already on the verge of falling. gnr had no visible originality AT ALL! yea, ill admit they are VERY catchy and axl could actually write...god for bid a metal frontman a good lyricist? *cough* brett micheals *cough*...see what i mean? but god damn it he should have just written. his voice ruins the whole thing. when my school does a talent show i put a mouse in a blender and play a totally backwards revision of knockin on heavans door and the dean says it sounds just liek guns n roses! wow! first prize! and yea, slash had quite a few memorable riffs, but could he try any more to be liek joe perry? all in all this album..4 maybe 5..a few good tracks...they shoulda stopped whi;le they were ahead...they ruined themselves in the 90s... i would have had a little more respect for them if they didnt try to change their style so frikin much to result in 4 more horrific albums. (Hossein Nayebagha)
For those of us who were bigtime G'N'R fans as kids, it could be difficult to know whether some of these songs are way overrated or it's just about how much we've listened to them in our lives. I used to think "Sweet Child O'Mine" was one of the best songs ever, but what ten year old kid wouldn't like that famous melody? But unfortunately it ends in the same tiring way many other Guns N' Roses tunes did, more and more pointless solos, more and more pointless screaming fron Axl just goes nowhere.

What I wonder though is, in way is it a metal ballad? It gets more and more hardrock towards the end, but the main part is really western-ish rock.

I like "It's So Easy" and "Mr Brownstone"..."Nighttrain" is also cool. Me and my pals used to laugh so much over all the somewhat provocative lyrics...but living in a non-english speaking country, there's hell of a lot more to be amused about when listening to it as adults.

You definitely hit the nail on picking the crappiest tunes of this album. 7/10. (Louise Gagliardi)
This album is so cool compared to all the gay ass nu metal today that try to sound like fuckin “Nevermind”. How the fuck can “Nevermind” get a 10 and this get a 7? I’d take “welcome to the jungle” over the entire Nirvana catalogue any day Guns N Roses shit all over Nirvana and then some.

WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE: How fuckin cool is the opening duel riff between Slash and Izzy?. 10+/10

IT’S SO EASY: immature, offensive, misogynist, what more do ya want? 10+/10

NIGHTRAIN: Perfect song to drive to late at night while drunk. 10/10

OUT TA GET ME: Punk Rock at its best, excellent chorus. 9.5/10

MR BROWNSTONE: Catchy song all about drug abuse. 10/10

PARADISE CITY: epic song as good as “stairway” and “a day in the life” starts out as a country western song then the awesome riff kick in and the last 2 minutes rocks like anything. 10+/10

MY MICHELLE: Again starts out country until the awesome riff kicks in and its all hard rock. 10/10

THINK ABOUT YOU: good straight forward rocker. 8.5/10

SWEET CHILD O’ MINE: nuff said. 20/10

YOU’RE CRAZY: catchy hard rock song. 8/10

ANYTHING GOES: all about fucking so of course it’s good. 8.5/10

ROCKET QUEEN: starts out as sleazy hard rock then completely changes to a fuckin heartbroken love song. This song rules. 10+/10
I agree with gag05: Appetite for Destruction is one of my all-time favorite albums - EVER. I can't even drink a beer while it's playing because I'm too busy singing and being a rockstar on my air-guitar. For you fags who complain about the singing and lyrics, WHO CARES? I listen to music FOR THE MUSIC, not the words. Why don't you try listening to those KICK-ASS guitar solos, or those pounding drums. Axl's screaming voice is just another instrument that makes for Guns N' Roses' complete sound. If you like words, then go listen to some chick music where the rest of the band is just back-up noise for the singer. Welcome to the Jungle - if the beginning of this song doesn't give you chills, then you better check your pulse. It's So Easy, Nighttrain, Out to Get Me, Mr. Brownstone, Paradise City...the whole "front side" of this album absolutely KICKS-ASS...10/10. There are one or two songs on the back that are less than perfect (Anything Goes), but I still love to listen to all of them...10/10. As perfect as Appetite for Destruction begins, the ending is pretty tough to beat too. Rocket Queen is cool as hell, it's like the end of a good movie or something. This is one of few albums that you can put in your player and actually use the RANDOM (or SHUFFLE) button, kick back or get fired-up, and not worry about a GAY song coming on.

[to the public audience] IF YOU DON'T LIKE APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION, YOU SUCK (Andrew McQuillan)
This album is one of the best of the 80's or of all time. It would easily go in my all time top 10. So yeah, it is considerably better than you made it out to be. A 7 doesn't do it justice, and you told us to write in our opinions.

All the songs are very catchy, and the album has a tremendous amount of charisma. A lot of this is due to Slash's gritty guitar work, obviously, and Axl's crazy and easily recognizable vocals and great songwriting. Straight out exciting rock 'n' roll.

Aww, 'it's so easy' to listen to anytime, start to finish.

11/10 (Diggens)
strap yourself in for the gates of hell gig. accept their invitation to jump on board this lightning bolt and they'll eat you alive.
yeah, welcome to the jungle opening riff is kinda cool, but not at all a "duel" between slash and izzy. its a delay effect that just loops and gradually fades a tone. slash wasnt the first to discover delay effect however, so theres nothing really too impressive about this song (or album for that matter), except for the fact that axl was so fucking pompous and gratuitous with his words. but just because its unimpressive, it doesnt mean i dont like it. how can you hate sweet child o' mine?
I’ve got an appetite for destructing this steaming pile of LA dog shite. I loved it when I was 12 but I grew up; protracted solo’s, derivative riffing (except for SCOM, which is just nauseating) and that terrible Axl EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE scream which sounds childish.

I am 37 and I fucking look back and remember guns and roses and it brings me back to yesterdays. I met Axl Rose in Hampton VA in 1991 and he was very cool and I felt a kinda kinship to him because I grew up on the streets of LA and Phoenix AZ. I most likely knew him in the early 80s and we shared many of the same ideas of what the wold should be.

Axl the true bad boy of Rock
Processed cheese. These guys were personally responsible for prolonging the '80s hair metal scene well beyond its sell-by date, which is nothing to be proud of. Axl Rose's voice is the epitomy of two hundred years of inbred, white trash arrogance.
Well theres been a lot of shit thrown at this record here so I thought I'd drop my 2 cents worth of opinion into the mix.

I love this album, I'd consider it to be one of the best hard rock records of the 80's, sure"Welcame To The Jungle" and "Sweet Child Of Mine" have been heard so much that they've become trite and cliche, the same with "paradise City". But tracks like "It's So Easy" with it's nihilistic attitude and "Out Ta Get Me" and it's drug induced paranoia along with the Hollywood sleaze of "My Michelle",the broke down drunk classic "Night Train" and the ode to Heroin addiction "Mr Brownstone" all make up for the rest, there are some trully great lyrics on this record each song tells a story of life in the concrete jungle that was LA in the 80's.

Sure, Axl Rose has a voice that is an aquired taste, similar to the way people feel about Knig Diamond and his whiny nasal vocals but they work for me on this album, although I think Axl's more reserved vocal delivery on "It's So Easy" is preferable to the nasal whine on most of the rest of the record.

I bought this record back in 1988, I'd never even heard of Guns N Roses at the time, I was attracted to the record cover and bought it. When I got home and put the tape in the stereo and "Welcome To The Jungle" kicked into gear I was banging my headd and jumping around the bedroom like a madman. In the last 17 years this record has lost very little of the impact it had on me as a 13 year old kid.
Two reasons to like rock in the 80s - Back in Black and Appetite For Destruction. Three if Nothing's Shocking fits into the same rock niche (I hate that word niche). Four if you include New Day Rising. Five if Margin Walker was 80s... yes it was. I'd take AFD over Nevermind and that grunge slop any day of the week. In fact I saw Nirvana in 1991 at the Wolverhampton Civic and they sucked very long and hard. I bought AFD on cassette in August or September 1987, and then on CD a year later. Still love it. What were they thinking afterwards though? 9/10 for me.
I thought that this cd was great i love all the songs on it like rocket queen and out ta get me , its to bad that the band doesn't do much of anything now .
Say! Would you like to hear some comedy? A little HUMAN comedy, perhaps??

Q: What reason did the famous 19th-century French writer give for being a homophobe?

A: "Honor, DUH. Balls? ACK!"

See, its reasons like this the world isn't funny anymore. I'M NOT WRITING THEIR FRENCH WRITER JOKES. But while we're on the subject of kickass fuckin' hard fuck rock, let's discuss Guns And Roses massively oversold first album.

Ass. That's what it is. I will go on record as saying this is the most overrated album in the history of time. MOST. Oh sure, I've heard worse "classics," but they didn't sell 23,000,000 copies and are regularly cited near the top of every Best Albums Of All Time According To Some Guy Who's Not Me list. This one is. Fie on it.

I count three great hits ("Welcome to the Jungle," "Sweet Child Of Mine," "Paradise City"), two great non-hits ("Think About You," "Out Ta Get Me"), and a sea of loud, bluesy, gnarly, tubular, bodacious, grungey, un-hairy, non-Def-Leppard, putting-the-rock-back-into-rock. . . UNWRITTEN, UNCATCHY, UNMEMORABLE filler. This album was never meant to be a blockbuster OR a masterpiece, and it shows. It's got attitude, balls, moxie, chutspah, five good songs, and nothing else. Those five songs ARE good, though. Pity they couldn't write any more than that for their first album. Pity Def Leppard kicked their ass in the year in question. My Lord. . . did I just blaspheme? Oh hell. (literally.)

The worst "classic" ever. I reduce Mark's rating to a 6 and dodge the flaming Nighttrain puring my way. Fuck (a duck).

S Fall
Awful, awful dross. Lifeless, horribly cliched, overwrought, dreary, empty, self-obsessed and ugly-sounding. But not in a good way. And why did they always insist on taking off their shirts? Vile tripe of the worst kind. If you were ever tempted to throw away your hard-earned £$ on this band (I can't say their name: it makes me cringe), I advise you to buy a Led Zeppelin album instead.
The last couple comments were pretty down on this album so I will reverse course.
This is one of the greatest debut albums of all time. Challenged only by Never Mind the Bullocks, Violent Femmes, and Boston (Who I am sick to death of hearing but is an absolutely brilliant debut). If I hear "More Than a Feeling" one more time please kill me.
The only thing bad I can say about this album is that "Anything Goes" does nothing but suck donkey balls.
So here is the time honored disgusting practice of rating songs one by one.

"Welcome to the Jungle" - 10/10 Classic!
"It's So Easy" - 9.6/10 Cool!
"Night Train" - 10/10 Best song here!
"Out Ta Get Me" - 9.8/10 Punk!
"Mr.. Brownstone" - 9.8/10 Sleaze!
"Paradise City" - 10/10 Jam!
"My Michelle" - 10/10 Awesome!
"Think About You" - 9.5/10 Sweet!
"Sweet Child O' Mine" - 10/10 C'mon!
"You're Crazy" - 9.6/10 Great!
"Anything Goes" - 2/10 Steaming hot turd!
"Rocket Queen" - 10/10 Brilliant!

This averages out to a score of 9.192/10. Thank the god of your choosing that "Anything Goes" was surrounded by unadulterated genius. On the down side, this could have been the greatest band of all time, but that was stopped due to Axle's assholeishness.

Add your thoughts?

Gn'R Lies - Geffen 1988.
rating = 7

This one pairs an old 4-song EP called Live Like A Suicide with four gentle, acousticish new tunes that are fanfriggintastfrigginic. "Patience" was a hit, "You're Crazy" is played in a calmer manner that works a lot better than the messy rockin' version on Appetite, "I Used To Love Her" is a hilarious metalhead rant about killing one's unpleasant girlfriend, and then there's the controversial "One In A Million."

One of the absolute key tracks in the GNR catalogue, "O.I.A.M." pairs a threatening four-chord riff with an explosive, angry, racist, homophobic, xenophobic set of lyrics that make it clear exactly where Axl Rose stood (and probably still stands) -- his hateful spiel against "niggers," "immigrants" and "faggots" intended not as a neo-Nazi agenda, but merely the honest statements of a young white man fed up with feeling threatened and alienated in his own environment. Unfortunately, as we all know, Axl was (and IS) a willfully ignorant, paranoid, near-insane redneck, so his "honest statements" come out as almost delusional in their aimless vitriol. "Don't wanna buy any of your gold chains today"? As a reader just pointed out in an email to me, how is a black man selling gold chains a threat to anybody at all? (Anybody besides a complete nutjob who is scared shitless of everybody that isn't exactly like him?)

In my original review, I pointed out that I admired his complete honesty in this song, even if I don't agree with his point of view. I even said that the song 'kicks ass in a ridiculously non-PC manner that the mainstream music world both needs and deserves.' That was probably going a bit far; ignorant hate speech isn't 'needed' or 'deserved' simply because I prefer honestly to dishonesty. I mean, I still do prefer honesty to dishonesty, if only because it makes it easier to know how people really think. But I guess we don't really need a bunch of race hate idiocy influencing our young people through the radio waves. Regardless, what I like about the song even more now in retrospect is how this very 'honesty' is so clearly an early indicator of Axl's complete mental imbalance. He's not just a dumbass -- he's a NUTJOB DUMBASS!

Reader Comments (Dave Weigel)
Lies is my favorite Guns and Roses album, too, but for a different reason. Sure, it's probably their strongest set of tunes (though Use Your Illusion could have been a masterpiece were it only edited into one album), but that's not really why I love it. I play Lies for the memories, as it was the theme of the greatest summer I've yet experienced.

I had moved to England and spent a year there pining away for my old friends. At the end of the school year, I flew back and we were reuinited. The posse now in full effect, a month and half of cruising up and down the Atlantic coastline in a 1990 Ford jeep ensued, and Lies was invariably stuck in the tapedeck. From the opening "Fuckers! Suck on Guns and fucking Roses!" of "Reckless Life", the 35 glorious minutes of this EP became deeply ingrained in my memory. To this day, the mention of the intro to "Mama Kin" ("This song's about your fucking mother!") or the scatting in "You're Crazy" brings me to tears, and I can spout the lyrics of "One in a Million" as students in 15th century Florence once spouted Demostothenes.

Memories; that's what music is all about. Lies gets a 9 from me. (Hossein Nayebagha)
Fuck Axl Rose or William Bailey or whatever the fuck he chooses to call himself. We did hear about the accusations of racist remarks in "One In A Million", but since Lies was the album that gained least interest, we never got to check what it was all about anyway. Maybe I didn't even want to know since I'm ethnically and to a certain extent culturally Iranian (mini-Iran?) and even though I'd only heard about the thing about black people...well, it's racism all the same. Some would say that I'm misssing the point? I don't know...where the hell did Axl and his fuckin' fans stand anyway? Maybe the immigrants and faggots were tired of being fucked with by his type of people. Fuck him and fuck his little territory wherever the fuck that is.

"Reckless Life" starts off promising only to be half ruined by Axl's screamings, that barely worked in the early days. The same thing goes pretty much for the rest of the first half, they're all decent bluesy rock n' roll that don't fit Axl's hardrock vocals... "Mama Kin" being the possible exception.

The rest? "I Used To Love Her" is a bore, "Patience" loses some that charm that Axl's usual "love songs" have on later albums, or on the live versions. "One In A Million" starts alright but it gets worse and worse again. Acoustic version of "You're Crazy"- cool. But I must say the solo doesn't kick ass the way the original did on Appetite. 5/10.
my first memory of g'n'r was 1989. fucking synths and dance crap was not the way to go for me and all the one hit wonder shit is died out! i did have a nintendo back then i do have games oh my god like i got them all: mario bros/duck hunt laser invasion renegade! and tmnt! plus i got a bike! kawasaki 986! a bad ass jacket and my long hair! chicks dig dudes with long hair! okay my sister loved all that bullshit like full house! ack! too sweet! i got two or 3 metal mags! there is one about metallica's master/justice era! then it was the crue motley crue! then i got ozzy posters! acid washed jeans and two joe satriani albums! surfing with the alien and flying in a blue dream! anyhow back to guns! this is an ep! this was pre illusion! and i do loved the covers of live and let die and mama kin! then patiance! ladies adore patiance! i do know why this has like a love song type of feel like sweet child of mine. i hated one in a million because of just what he said faggots! i'm about like 34 but i still rock! i play patience to my ms.lockheart in the fire side! guns did not lie they rule!
i completely agree with your review of axl roses rampage of "one in a million" . im from the south like you and not only do i agree with complete free speech, i really get tired of liberals who say "only stupid people vote for bush", well that might partly be true but in my opinion liberals are supposed to protect such people. if the democratic party wouldve taken better care of what they call "white trash",which is a term that is just offensive as nigger, g dubya wouldnt be in the white house. but in my part of the country, people are angry without a reason. and i blame the democratic party for that. they never pointed a finger towards why these people were poor. poor white people blame black people for their current standanrds. the basic fact is the democratic party is made to help poor and stupid because like people of the homosexual persuasion they didnt decide theyre own ! stop being such an elitist, which is the exact opposite if what a liberal is supposed to be. these days a liberal isnt much better than a facist. kill the stupid is the mantra i seem to hear from college capuses, which strangelt seem to vote almost 80% democratic. strangely enough this started out as a guns n roses review. the band by the way.
I was actually thinking about this recently.  "One in a Million" is a truly lousy song.  Not for the obvious reason (because I love David Allan Coe to death), but because it's a poorly written rant about some dude that gets sick of the way everything's boring in his hometown, and goes somewhere with diversity, and bitches about it.  And the way he juxtaposes the imagery?  Police and Niggers?  Immigrants and Faggots?  What the hell do they have to do with each other?  Since when do faggots "come to our country"?  Last I checked, a lot of them were born here.  Boo-fucking who, Axl.  You want your privacy, so you do the only logical thing: become a rock star.  

As for the rest of the album, I don't remember the electric side, I just remember not being able to connect with it.  Patience is a cute piece of cheese, You're Crazy is redundant, and "Used to Love Her" is probably my favorite Guns 'N Roses song ever. (Hossein Nayebagha)
This is a bit ironic. I've been having a little GNR-phase again so I came to reread some of these reviews, and there's my angry rant against Axl... While I'm ready to take back some of my anger, the old album review was a lot more tolerant about the famous "One In A Million" lines. Well, it's a complicated issue. I've thought about it a lot, and I still don't know how far my criticism against Axl should go. There are several different interpretations. Is it just a portrait or is it Bill Bailey being "expressive" without having a political statement? The problem is that either way, he pretty much made it impossible for a black kid to become a GNR-fan. I mean, imagine being some 10 year old, black, and you find this awesome hard rock band, and then the singer goes "Police and niggers, get out of my way". Whatever aesthetic criteria Axl would have for choosing to print those words, is it really worth it? To alienate people from his work like that... I don't know. I still shouldn't have made that "fuck"-rant five years ago or whenever it was.

Add your thoughts?

Use Your Illusion I - Geffen 1991.
rating = 7

At this point, our favorite street thugs released two 75-minute CDs at the same time. Thirty songs total. Sigh. Pity 'cause the best 45 minutes could've been one of the tightest, greatest hard rock records of the '90s. Instead, it's just too too much.

Just so you'll know, though, the CDs are different. In fact, even their weaknesses are different!!! The problem with this one is simple; there are just two many lousy songs. Yeah, you've got some nifty buttkickers like "Right Next Door To Hell" and "Double Talkin' Jive," and plenty of swell epics like "Coma" and the classic "November Rain," but then you've got a bunch of generic Stones rip-offs like "Bad Obsession" and grotesque riff rock like "Bad Apples" and "Perfect Crime" crammin' up the laserwaves like some kinda fiddly-diddly. If you liked Appetite For Destruction, though, this is probably right up your a-hole. The most creative, well-planned songs are terrific; the padding, alas, is pretty dreadful.

You know what I really like? Just so you'll know that I actually DID listen to the album a few times? I love the main chord sequence of "Coma," which, combined with the hospital sound effects, is extremely reminiscent of Bloodrock's infamous "D.O.A." (which I adore - at one point in my life, I actually became so frightened by the song that I couldn't stand to hear it anymore - weird child, I was....), the strange acoustic opening and coda in "Dead Horse" (which is about sixty jillion times better than the actual song), the neat Paul McCartney cover, the Metallica rip-off that they call "Double Talkin' Jive," and, of course and for always, that ridiculously anthemic guitar line at the end of "November Rain."

Honestly, some of their best work can be found here. Then... there are those other songs....

Reader Comments (David Aurand)
I would really have to stretch my imagination to say I loved this. Certainly, it was good, but I don't think the hype surrounding it was justified. Like you, I do love the long, long "Coma"........but, Appetite... was, in my opinion, a much better work of art than this disc or its counterpart.

But, regarding Lies.......I have a personal favorite..."I Used To Love Her.....", which is pretty amusing....poignant.....and the way many guys feel at times.....but, not a classic disc in overall terms...

G.H.A. (Gilbert van Hagen)
The four acoustic tracks on the Lies EP are nice. In particular, the hit single "Patience" and the song-with-the-provocative-lyrics "One in a million" are great. The four live tracks are not so great.

I found Use your illusion I, overall, fairly disappointing. The fast tracks are nowhere nearly as good as the songs on Appetite for destruction. If it wasn't for the beauty of "November rain" and "Coma", and a cute guest appearance of Alice Cooper, this album wouldn't be worth mentioning. (The Chameleon)
Ahhh Van Hagen you don't like anything. "This album wouldn't be worth mentioning" sound like a fucking asshole!!! You guys are making it sound like this album only has like 3 good songs on it ...and all you guys are doing is comparing it to other GNR albums.And yes this isn't like the other GNR albums..but why is that bad?? "Bad Apples" sucks..that dumb Paul McCartney song they did sucks and so does "Bad Obsession"...but the other songs ain't bad at all. What about "Don't Cry" that's a cool song or "Back off Bitch" can anyone not like "Back off Bitch"? Hmmm i just thought of the answer....anyway..."Dust N Bones", "You ain't the first", "The Garden", "Don't Damn Me"...they're all great. If you guys think this album isn't good then why the hell did it do so damn well?
Dammit, Beavis! Why do these dumbasses make these really long double albums when, like, they have the perfect CD in half the songs? And how come bands that make tons of EPs don't realize that they could make *gasp!* the perfect album if they added a few MORE tunes to the mix? The great American professional music paradox continues... (Michael Rohm)
Definately more mature than Appetite. Starts off pretty strong with "Right Next Door to Hell" and "Dust n' Bones," then has one of my fave cover songs (and the only other band whose cover songs I've ever really liked were the Ramones, who can do no wrong in my eyes anyway :) ). "Don't Cry" has never been one of my faves, quite possibly because it was constantly on MTV (along with "November Rain," which was constantly on Top 10 Video Countdowns), but "Perfect Crime" is is pretty good. I've always liked "Bad Obsession;" is this wrong? And "Back of Bitch" is great too; the last 6 songs of the album are all terrific (well, maybe not "Bad Apples," but I like it, so there). Still a strong album, even if somewhat dated. Hey! Maybe G n' R should release a CD full of midtempo rock that, while catchy and rather good, isn't nearly as good as their earlier stuff. Then they could go on another world tour with Metallica! Sigh.. that is, of course, if the band ever DOES put together another CD. BTW, Killing Joke fans, rumour has it that former KJ bassist Youth will be producing the new Guns release.

By the way, Spaghetti Incident, while certainly not a flawless album, was pretty much my first introduction to any sort of "punk rock" when I was but a metalhead teen, so it still gets points for that. Stooges, UK Subs, early Soundgarden (pre Badmotorfinger) and Fear are all covered here, along with the Pistols, Misfits, etc, etc.. not innovative, but not bad either. (Darryl Alan Baker)
I enjoy every song on here. I even enjoy the two weak songs ("Bad Apples" which I caught my grandmother dancing to and "Dead Horse"). I LOVE that little crackling noise in "Dead Horse" and I kinda like that little tape-winding sound at the end leading into the awesome "Coma." "Coma" is one of my favorites on here. Other favorites include (but are not limited to) "The Garden," "Don't Damn Me," "Dust and Bones" and "You Ain't the First." (Jason Adams)
You know how everyone says The Beatles should have made the White Album into a single record. Well they shouldn't have, you miserable prick, but GNR (pronounced Gnurrr!) should've done so here. I don't need, you see, turgid rockers like "Back Off Bitch" and "Live And Let Die". I do need "Coma", "Dead Horse", "Garden Of Eden", "Dust and Bones" and "The Garden". Yeah, and "November Rain" can stay too, but only because of the awesome coda.
Don't get me wrong, I love the Illusions, but there is one thing I'm not too crazy about. His name......Dizzy Reed. Who the hell is that fag anyways? I mean, for songs like Novermber Rain, the piano works, but when they try to rock out with the piano, it just doesn't seem to cut it. Actually in II, the piano is often louder than the guitars! Aside from Dizzy Reed being an absolute degenerate prick, not to mention a dopey fuckin' queer, the Illusions are very good, and I highly recommend them. (Daniel Miller)
Well yep, here's another double CD that should have been a single, along with Mellon Collie, The Fragile, and well, fuck it, The Wall also (it shoulda been a single CD anyway... seeing how the double CD comes out to like 81 minutes). That said, this is the only G n R i can stand (the only other album is Appetite but still). There's a few songs I like, along with a few on Use Your Illusion 2... this and Metallica was probably the first music I listened to back in '92 (I was probably into Depeche Mode by this time too). I hate to say it, but November Rain is my favorite song on here. Axl behind the piano like Elton Joel or Billy John, Slash soloing away, and the orchestra, gotta love it.

The lack of direction you expect from 75 minute albums is definitely present, along with the unneeded McCartney and Dylan covers. And what's up with having a song called "The Garden" followed by one called "Garden of Eden." Actually I like "Garden of Eden" a lot, except that it has the words "rock and roll." I usually can't stand stuff about "rock and roll." Mainly cause I started as a mainstream metal and mainstream alterna-dork in the mid 90s and got into underground metal and earlier alternative stuff by the end of the 90s, so I'm a big "metal" and "alternative/indie/whatever" elitist dick.

"Garden of Eden" is a good song though. "Something something Garden of Eden, something something Garden of Eden, blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah, ROCK AND ROLL!" 7/10 for both albums.
"Back off Bitch" is, much like "One in a Million", a great example of how stupid this fucking band is. The band itself sounds good on a lot of tracks, but really only before you started to believe Axl meant half the bollocks he sang, and misogyny just isn't cool. I know it's basically just another example of something AC/DC does a lot (to more harmless effect) in songs like "Big Balls" and "What do you do for money (honey)" where they sing boring verses as pretexts to anthemic and sleazy choruses, except this time the message is:

Back off, back off bitch
Down in the gutter dyin' in the ditch
You better back off, back off bitch
Face of an angel with the love of a witch
Back off, back off bitch
Back off, back off bitch

I don't know if she hexed him or not, but does she really deserve all that? Wouldn't any (sane) woman leave Axl Rose?

Fuck I'm suprised the band didn't abandon him sooner.
It'd be wrong of me to say that I've never understood why people make such a big fuss over Appetite, because of course I used to think it was the shit back when I was 10 years old, and I would even have some understanding for why people - at least on this site - have a hard time with Axl, as I was a big fan of Slash. But as an adult, in my opinion, the Illusion albums are way better than Appetite. Yes, there are some weak tracks, especially on this one, but I really prefer the overall style of this era. It doesn't seem as tense and screamy as Appetite which is good. Yes, some of those songs were badass, but they were also a bit too cute, with a few exceptions. This stuff though is just rock 'n' roll. They sound more like a live band than some kids trying to make hits in the studio. And Axl has apparently learned to not be so dominant with his presence all over the songs. Even if some people may feel he's still too much all over the place. And as for him being such a self-loving nutcase or whatever, since when was rock 'n' roll about being a great balanced guy? Being an adult, Slash comes off as a big poser, while Axl with all his ego bullshit, still comes off as one of the most interesting guys in rock history as far as I'm concerned. And I think he's a lot smarter than people here seem to think he is. Of course he's not an intellectual, but so what. If I wanted to get some big artistic experience, I wouldn't listen to Guns N Roses anyway. The way I see it these two albums were like the band was big enough to not give a fuck about what anyone thought about it, so they were just having a good time, playing bluesy rock material. Plus the balads, some of which were pretty cool. I'll take "Right Next Door To Hell" and "Dust Bones" over "Paradise City" and "I Think About You" any day. As for the "Back Off Bitch" stuff, yeah it's sexist, but at least it's funnier than the usual stuff you hear from sleaze rock bands.

Add your thoughts?

Use Your Illusion II - Geffen 1991.
rating = 7

The problem here isn't that there are too many songs. All fourteen tracks are pretty good. In fax, that's the problem! They're just pretty good. The Dylan cover is great, "You Could Be Mine" is a cool midtempo rock thing, "Estranged" is lengthy but very Zeppelin-esque and lovely, and "So Fine" boasts a terrific low-key lead vocal (by Duff, I think?), but the rest of this mostly poppy album is made up of generically pretty melodies that just never reach up and grab you by the thumbnail like a "Sweet Child O' Mine" or a "November Rain." Plus, well, I hate to whine, but there's just too many ballads. This is Guns N' Roses, right? Where's the rock 'n' roll? Yeah, sure, there's a few here and there - "Get In The Ring" and "Shotgun Blues" come to mind - but they're mostly just fair-to-passing melodies with a bunch of cuss words strewn on top. Funny, but not terribly innovative.

In a nutshell or twain, this second Use Your Illusion is a nice enough record, full of different moods and styles, but I'll probably never listen to it again.

Reader Comments (Greg)
Yeah well, Appetite was pretty good. I didn't like "Sweet Child of Mine" that much. Too nice, too much like pop. But the rest was pretty good. "Welcome To The Jungle" rocked, "Paradise City" likewise. I don't know why you're giving so much shit to "Rocket Queen" and "My Michelle" 'cause they're pretty good. There's a whole story behind "My Michelle" that Axl once told a journal: "I wrote a nice pop single about her, then looked at it and decided that it just doesn't represent the truth. She's so messed up with drugs and sex that you don't know if you're gonna see her tomorrow. Every time I see Michelle I feel relieved and glad. I showed her the lyrics and she was fine with it. She liked the fact that I didn't just paint a pretty picture."

GNR Lies was also quite good. I liked "Patience" and "One in a Million" the best. I also liked the fact that Gunners put in their first LP Live Like a Suicide, 'cause it's pretty hard to get.

Use Your Illusion I was OK. "November Rain" I guess was the major highlight as far as Top 40 was concerned. I liked the version of "Don't Cry" on this album better than the one on Use Your Illusion II. Other songs I liked were "Garden of Eden" and "Bad Obssession". Gunners used the latter in their "Get in the Ring" tour in '92. I also liked "Coma", that was really good. The use of hospital equipment like chestpads etc. was sensational.

Use Your Illusion II was better than the first one, with more kickass guitar riffs and lyrics. The whole album except "Knockin' On Heaven's Door", "Don't Cry" and "My World" is really worth a listen. "You Could Be Mine" was the highlight as far as Top 40 was concerned because it was in the Terminator II soundtrack. "Civil War", "Get in the Ring", "Shotgun Blues", "Breakdown" and "Pretty Tied Up" is full of killer guitar riffs. For something mellower, "14 Years", "Yesterdays", "So Fine" and "Estranged" are excellent. The latter two are maybe better, but they're all very good.

The Spaghetti Incident?! didn't live up to much of the hype it got here in Australia. "Down on the Farm" and "Ain't It Fun" were pretty good. But the rest was pretty ordinary by G'n'R standards (and that means pretty good). (By the way, I only listened to The Spaghetti Incident?! once, so it may not have gotten to me yet).

That's been "My Two Cents" on G'n'R. (Sorry, Simpsons joke. Doesn't belong here). (Kirby L. Yap)
Guns N' Roses was a big hit here in Manila back in the early 90's, from 1991 up to 1993.....I have 3 of the 5 albums they released, but unfortuna- tely, I lost 2 of them...anyway, i like Appetite for Destruction and the two Use Your Illusion albums better than the rest for they have the right kind of songs -- heavy on guitars, "mellow" rock sometimes, and the dis- tinctive voice of Mr. Axl Rose really blend on those songs...I've been looking forward for the new album they said they are releasing this year... I hope it's for Spaghetti Incident....well, just forget it, the album's a big crap, all covers...Hey wait, Are the group on the brink of disbanding...they've been doing a lot of gigs and jams separately and I guess maybe the group's gone...Duff has a solo album as well as Gilby Clarke and Slash...Well for you AXL....straighten up your life so you could be in mainstream again...stop bitching around AXL, If you love the music, fix your group and do an album....thanks! Maraming Salamat Po! (Nate Eckstrom)
Guns and Roses (i mean guns "n" roses)? Why would you even bother reviewing this terrible band? This is just a hair (puns intended) better than reviewing other cock rock bands like Warrant and Poison. I can't even listen to one of their songs without picturing that dumbass Axel (What the hell is his real name anyway? Does anyone care?) running around with his shirt off, laughing as pictures of girls' breasts in the audience are displayed on a big screen on stage. This guy is joke, and any band he's in is also a joke. (Katie)
I love all of Guns and Roses' music. The only song i dislike is "My World." (Alexandre Linhares Matias)
Why GNR? They steal that thing that Aerosmith had stolen from the Stones. A real fake band - they fool themselves. Good gosh! (Soul Madness)
Funny how the person above calls GN'R a hair band and a pointless band. What the FUCK is Pearl Jam and all that shit? Grow the fuck up! Eddie Vedder's a fucking asshole too so is half the other alterna-shit like Marilyn Manson (fun to suck your own %#&@), Nine Inch Nails (ditto), Soundgarden. I didn't mean to come down hard on Pearl Jam because I like them but what the fuck- the music of the 80's is the same as the alternative...only alternative is more pointless than the 80's music so in conclusion, FUCK YOU! (Caress Of Steel)
The only fucking good thing about this lameass band is their guitarist, Slash. He's the only one in the band with real talent. The solo to "Sweet Child O'Mine" kicks ass!!!!! The rest of them can bungee jump into hell. Lameass motherfuckers. (Dennis Costa)
Use Your Illusion 1 was the first hard rock record I bought, so these guys will always have their place in my list of favorite bands. I've always thought the B side on the cassette was creepier than the A side, especially with the weird voice at the end of "The Garden" and the last song, "Coma", which is just a classic. If these guys ever reunite, this is the song they gotta play first. Anyway, after a couple of years without buying another GNR album (don't ask me why) I finnally bought UYI 2, and I must say that I still think #1 was better. I'm planning to buy Appetite for Destruction, so my opinion will maybe change as to what GNR album is the best. The only "song" I despise of the two albums is "My World". If this is what Axl wants to do for the next album (if there ever will be one) then count me out.

G.H.A. (Gilbert van Hagen)
Now, this is a different story all-together. Whereas I find Use your illusion, part I disappointing, I regard part II as the best Guns N' Roses release to this date. In contrast to Mark Prindle, I generally like hard rock ballads, and the epic songs on this album are just right for me. Especially "Estranged" and "Civil war" are brilliant, while "Locomotive" is the best of the faster tracks on the two Use your illusion albums. I'd rate this album nine out of ten.

The Spaghetti incident is not really worth buying, except to make your collection complete. I noticed that afterwards, GnR released a cover of the Rolling Stones' classic "Sympathy for the devil" as their next single, but I suspect that they have also messed up that one. Anyway, it was already the fourth or fifth time they released a cover song as a single, which may be taken as evidence of Axl's declining creativity.
its ok for some of these other people to dislike Guns N' Roses, but you HAVE to give them credit. they are one of the top 5 bands of ALL-TIME, and in my opinion the best ever. they are not just another hair band, they are the best group of all time. Axl's lyrics are unbelievably great and clever, also I'd like to give credit to "Locomotive", cause not enough people are mentioning it. there is no such thing as a bad GN'R recording, but my least favorite is the semi-recent Rolling Stones cover called "Sympathy For The Devil". i'd also like to wish Axl luck on making a new album SOON, and do yourself and everyone else a favor, and get Slash back. but if you can't, the next GN'R album will still kick ass! (Michael King)
Don't shaft The Spaghetti Incident?. It's got punk covers (Misfits, Iggy & Stooges, UK Subs, NY Dolls...). It's got metal-ish covers (Nazareth). Overall, I think it's one of their better efforts. Better than UYI I and II anyway. And, Mr. Prindle, sir, yousa mighta like it. (Jason Carter)
Yadda yadda yadda.

The whole problem was that the band's collective drug abuse lowered their resistance to the peurile tyranny of Axl. Granted, the guy had some ideas in video department, especially the flawed but beautifully overwrought dinosaur masterpieces "Don't Cry," and "November Rain." Whether Abuse Your Illusion I or II was better is negligible - who didn't buy both at the same time?

After that the band released a bunch of unwatchable shit, including "Estranged" which had poor misunderstood, clinically depressed, woman-beating, child-abused, hopelessly rich Axl jumping in the ocean off a luxury liner and being carried to safety by dolphins (!).

The Spaghetti Incident? is probably an inside-jokey reference to some sexual exploit with groupies and contained no original songs. The damn thing unbelieveably went platinum, with one stupid video featuring Gary "Dracula" Oldman as the devil and Axl again immersed in womb-like water.

So now Axl is by himself. Of the original band, the one responsible for Appetite for Destruction, here's who's left: NO ONE. The drummer was "fired" due to "creative differences" (how the fuck do you have creative differences with a drummer?; Pearl Jam pulled the same shit) then Izzy Stradlin and Slash left. I'm sorry, there's still the bassist. Great: a singer and a bassist. Christ on a shit stick, what is Guns and Roses without SLASH? What's the fucking point? (Alligator)
Guns N' Roses, I like only 2-3 of their songs, somehow I don't like that guy Axel Rose, therefore I don't listen to them that much, "November Rain" and I don't remember the name of the song used in Terminator 2, that's all. (Michael Rohm)
It's been a long time since I've listened to any G n' R, considering I used to listen to them *constantly* during my rebellious teenage years (15-17 or so) but I've been relistening with the wisdom of a 20 year old (yeah right) and I still like them. As Prindle points out, this CD's songs are all (with the exception of "My World") pretty good, but none of them really stand out. "Shotgun Blues" is pretty damned catchy, but "Pretty Tied Up" and "Get in the Ring," while both interesting and (especially for "Ring") amusing, they're not really incredible songs, per se (especially for "Ring," again). The rest is pretty good, though, especially the song from Terminator ("You Could Be Mine," one of my G n' R faves) and "Estranged").
question: couldn't these guys exchange bands names with the dirty rotten imbeciles? bye now and thank you for your support. (Hossein Nayeb)
Well,i've been listening to this for a few days.And it's not as bad as i thought.Of course once upon a time i loved this,when Guns N Roses was by far my favourite band.Of course back then,music wasn't my passion.Then i started to laugh at this band as i grew up and i still do...but really this one is not too bad.It's really catchy,if that's a compliment.. and does have it's moments in Pretty Tied Up (lame chorus but amazing solos and rest of itcool),Estranged,Locomotive, Yesterdays etc. And we have those lyrics with attitude on Get In The Ring and Shotgun Blues.I mean really it's not everyday you hear a guy go "...And that goes for all you punks in the press that want to start shit by printin' lies instead of the things we said..that means you Andy Secher at Hit Parader..Circus Magazine..Mick Wall at Kerrang!.. Bob Guccione Jr. at Spin What you pissed of cuz your dad gets more pussy than you ? Fuck you, suck my fuckin dick ..You be rippin off the fuckin' kids while they be payin' their hard earned money to read about the bands they wanna know about..printin' lies startin' wanna antagonize me..antagonize me mother fucker..get in the ring motherfucker and I'll kick your bitchy little ass...punk.." in such a short space of time....and follows more stuff that cracks you up.


Guns and Garden toured together in 92 and ironically my at that time favourite band's support act would become my all time fave band years later.
frankly, they should have been shot for their bastardised mutilation of a bob dylan tune. it's a crime against humanity, and the deserve to have their tender undersides smeared with extra hot chili sauce and barbecued gently over a slow fire. however, 'civil war' rocks like a bastard, so I'll have to forgive 'em
I totally agree with Mark: There are too many ballads! I think they just wanted to top "November Rain", but they couldn't....well okay, it's not very original to say it is a great ballad,'s certainly gnr's best one and if you got ONE why do you need another one? They are supposed to rock and 10 minutes of hands waving in the air is enough for one concert! really! noone needs to write more than one ballad in his life. write a good one and it's done. except of, of course, tom waits.

oh yes: gnr never were my favorite band but i like some stuff on this album. they are assholes, but they still wrote good songs. (Anthony Saywell)
I know it's weird but these guys, with these albums, got me into music when i was a kid. A lot of it is nostalgia but if you can get past Gnr's image and Axl's sometimes irritating (and arrogant) lead vocals it's pretty obvious that this is a top band with some great writers.

I suppose a few of the songs on the illusion albums could be classed as padding, but most of em kick arse. Where Gnr's writing really shines is in their epics, November Rain, Coma, Locomotive are great and Estranged is one of the most beautiful, poignant songs ever written. Notice that unlike in a lot of other bands' longer pieces, Gunners actually vary the sound and style within these songs, not using constant repetitiveness and endless guitar solos to make up the time. Hell, Coma could be 3 seperate songs! Obviously each part connects and they'd be weaker by themselves, but it's a good example of the varation the makes a lot of Gnr's stuff great.

A very good group and some great songs. Brings back a lot of memories.
Ah, the infamous Use Your Illusion duo. It's a fairly common thing to comment nowadays: "Dude, TWO CD's?? What the hell. They shoulda pared it down to ONE CD. Then it would have Not Sucked."

Personally, I happen to disagree. I think there's just too many good songs on both albums to fit onto one CD. In fact, I would go so far as to say that only three songs on the entire set explicitly suck: "Breakdown" (where's the chorus?), "My World" (just sick and disturbing), and "Don't Cry (alt. lyrics)" (dangit, we already got one.) Even as disorganized as they are, I think both albums are, in fact, better than Appetite for Destruction.

Say, wouldn't it be cool if this had been released as a DOUBLE ALBUM? Think about it--it woulda been the longest album in world history at the time (two hours and thirty-two minutes), and all the critics would be raving about the "next Exile on Main Street." In fact, the subsequent alt-rock craze might NEVER HAVE TAKEN PLACE! Think about THAT!

Oh, well, I guess THAT's too much to hope for. But here's my idealized rundown of Use Your Illusion, the double album. Those of you with CD burners, take note.


1.) Civil War
2.) Perfect Crime
3.) Pretty Tied Up
4.) Live and Let Die
5.) Don't Cry
6.) You Ain't the First
7.) Bad Apples
8.) Breakdown
9.) So Fine
10.) Back Off Bitch
11.) The Garden
12.) Double Talkin' Jive
13.) Knockin' on Heaven's Door
14.) Garden of Eden
15.) November Rain
16.) My World


17.) Locomotive
18.) Yesterdays
19.) Get in the Ring
20.) 14 Years
21.) Dead Horse
22.) Estranged
23.) Shotgun Blues
24.) Don't Damn Me
25.) Bad Obsession
26.) Right Next Door to Hell
27.) You Could Be Mine
28.) Dust 'N Bones
29.) Don't Cry (alt. lyrics)
30.) Coma

Hell, this might have even outsold Appetite. Funny how a little detail such as "song order" can change everything.

Yes, I DO have lots of time on my hands.
I know I've already posted on this page, but...I really think the most significant thing about Guns 'N Roses is how quickly they were forgotten. I saw them once in concert (I got there three hours late, and STILL had to wait two hours...), and listened to the Use Your Ilusions constantly, before giving up, and assuming they were over my head. I heard the Spaghetti Incident, and officially stopped caring (To this day, I still don't understand how you can cover all of my favorite bands, and STILL be boring), and I don't think I even knew Duff and Slash weren't in GN'R anymore until the Woodstock show (and I don't even know if Axl and friends even showed up).

And don't forget the videos...I went back over them on youtube, MY GOD they were excessive, but they bring out the vitality of GN'R's music. Every two minutes Axl's rambling gets dull, and Slash has to leave the church, or climb on a dolphin, or drive his bitch off a cliff before saving the song. My favorite video is "Breakdown," which is a fan-made video which basically collects all of the footage of Axl having temper tantrums onstage, and comes off like Axl genuinely trying to apologize for being such an asshole, he couldn't even get heroin addicts to keep hanging out with him.

One last thing: I REALLY love the new Guns N' Roses. You know, the one they call "Velvet Revolver"?

Add your thoughts?

"The Spaghetti Incident?" - Geffen 1993.
rating = 7

Even if they aren't the greatest songwriters in the history of These Here United States, never not let it not be unsaid that the fucking idiots don't know a good rock and roll song when they hear it. This is an album of covers -- ALL covers -- featuring such killer tunes as Misfits' "Attitude," Nazareth's "Hair of the Dog," Damned's "New Rose" and Fear's "I Love Livin' In The City." And, although I'm familiar with more than half of the originals, GNR not only do a damn fine job with each of them, but they've also managed to introduce even ME to some awesome tunes I've never heard! The Dead Boys' "Aint It Fun" is incredible, UK Subs' "Down On The Farm" is better than any of the tunes on my 27-track UK Subs singles compilation and Johnny Thunders' "You Can't Put Your Arms Around A Memory" - well, that one's cool too! It all rocks, you get to hear Duff sing a few times, and the absolute only complaint I have to make is that it's kind of ridiculous to hear Duff shout "Guitar!" in the middle of "Attitude."

Oh yeah - and the Charles Manson song at the end. Not only was it a stupid and sophomoric stunt on the band's part, but the song sucks ass too, ending the CD on a bitter note. This record was designed to tide fans over until the next GnR studio release, but that was, umm... over five years ago!!!

Reader Comments
i once listened to this one time when i was somewhere and found a copy. the only reason i was interested in the slightest, was of the song that they covered by the dead boys...which really isnt a dead boys song at all, since the dead boys actually covered it. "aint it fun" was written by a guy named peter laughner who was a member of pere ubu for about a month or two a long long time ago. although i guess cheetah chrome helped cowrite it or something, its not a dead boys song at all. but basically, my point is this, guns and roses did not put any heart behind this song at order to hear the real passionate version of this incredible song, you have to find a copy of a cd called take the guitar player for a ride by peter laughner. its not easy to find but damn well worth it just for that song, but dont expect a lot of songs identical to that, but you will discover a great unknown talent. by the way, peter laughner died when he was 24, eerie aint it??
This album sucked balls... 'nuff said. (James L. Tichenor)
everything they did fucking sucks .they suck they shuld all die. (Ahnsu Adennorsn)
I disagree with a lot said of the album. I've read that this was supposed to be one of the most unemotional take on punk rock tunes ever. That's a pretty lame comment if you ask me. Guns N' Roses might have been lame hairy cock arena rockers, but damn did they have some good influences and damn do they do some of those influences right. The Dead Boys cover sounds almost as good as the original and worth the price of admission alone (BTW, the Dead Boys version can be heard on their amazing sounding [only non-bootleg Dead Boys live release] live album Night of the living Dead Boys, since the album that had this cut has long been out of print), the cover of the Damned's "New Rose" is the best of the many covers of that song ever waxed and although they turn the Misfits "Attitude" into a Hollywood like production, that song manages to get pulled off with Duff's awesome vocals (i.e., you know, the bass player that was the only reason to listen to the band in the first place). The Fear cover is bad ass as well. The Bottom line: Would I purchase this album new? No, but then again, you don't have to. If you can't find this CD used for under $4 in any used CD store or in the bargain bin of a new record store, then you must live high in the mountains of Tibet. I paid $2 for this and it's worth every penny.
I just want to post a correction to my statements. "ain't it fun" words were written by Laughner and the music by Cheetah Chrome. So I'm wrong in saying it was not a dead boys song. I just want to apologize to anyone who read that and was bothered by my inaccuracies. Obviously, I wasn't there and do not know and I should not have assumed anything about who wrote what and where. That was my mistake and I'm sorry.
Hi, I've never heard anyone admit this but this was their best album by far. When I first got into music, I felt really cheated if more than two or three songs were filler on any CD I got (I had no idea this junk to hit ratio was the norm). So appetite for destruction was a real disappointment (oh hey this is the song I heard on the radio, then what is this crap? rocket queen? when is this over?) So this was great -- nearly every song was great, even if they didn't rock each one. and the songs they did rock -- hair of the dog , rather their recording of it, is far better than any guns-n-roses song ever and even the nazareth version, which just sounds slow and tepid by comparison. really.

I really wanted to like guns-n-roses, but this and all the other albums revealled them to me as just a competent bar band. But even a bar band can rock it sometimes -- and this album was where they rocked it the most -- and frankly this was the first time I'd heard these songs -- so their ridiculous conceit of introducing fans to punk actually worked. Rock!
To further clarify the origins of "Ain't if Fun," it was indeed written by Laughner and Gene O'Connor (aka, Cheetah Chrome) back when they were in the short-lived, and never officially recorded band, Rocket from the Tombs. There is a kick-ass cd (of so-so sound quality) that was released in 2002, called, The Day the Earth Met the Rocket from the Tombs, which consists of demos and live recordings. On it, you can hear early versions of future Dead Boys songs, including "What Love Is," "Ain't it Fun," "Sonic Reducer," "Down in Flames," and the music for "Caught with the Meat in Your Mouth," here as "Never Gonna Kill Myself Again." This band later split into two factions: The Dead Boys, and Pere Ubu (future Ubu songs on here, as well). A great disc for Prindle to review. For that matter, what about a Dead Boy review?

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Live Era '87-'93 - Geffen 1999.
rating = 8

Nothing too surprising here, except for a great cover of a really obscure Black Sabbath song ("It's Alright"???? Sheesh!). The rest of it is basically just a compilation of all their best material (except the covers album, of course), with great sound, nice little rock guitar solos and some pretty innocuous Axl stage patter. If you already own the other records, you don't need this. But if you're of the sort that likes their hits but doesn't necessarily want to buy Appetite For Buttmunching, GNR Thighs, and both Use Your Coldfusions (hang on just a second - I've never laughed quite as hard as I'm laughing at this particular moment....)

(No hang on - not ready yet)


Fuck you the establishment.

Reader Comments
after reading ur page on guns n roses , umade some fair points , but some of the pricks who said axl sucks id just like tosay FUCK YOU SUCK MY FUCKING DICK , axl's back now so u can stress his new album all u want cos it will be one of the greatist albums ever , ps=welcome 2 the jungle,nighttrain,paradise city, sweet child of mine ,civil war,estranged,u could be mine,dont cry,and november rain r the best songs ever from a diehard gunner
Shit , shit shit shit shit shit shittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt. This music is crap. (Kelly Lanham)
anyone who says anything by G'N'R is bad is a fucking faggot
Ok, first of all, I know they had a huge influence on countless bands today, and yes, they did have some cool songs now and then, but Axl...not only is he a prick, but his voice is godawful. It used to be tolerable back when they first started out, but after seeing Guns and Roses (if you can call them that anymore) perform at the MTV awards...I must say that I hope to god that their new album never gets released. Axl could barely hit the notes in Welcome to the Jungle, and halfway through the song, HE RAN OUT OF BREATH! For fuck's sake! He didn't even get through the first song before you could see him sweating and messing up because he couldn't keep up with the rest of the band, yet he thinks that he's the one
Guns and Roses sucks the large flaccid penis of a rabid horse. Axl Rose is seen as the kick ass ROCKER HERO YEAAAAAAHHHHHH! Axl Rose is a complete and utter cow tit. Or,utterwise known as an utter. I am a singer in a much less succesful band, but we are ass over face better than GnR. There are just a lot of ignorant common folk that are taken with anything loud and hard. Mr. Brownstone is the only audible GnR song I know of. I saw a picture online recently of a recent shot, from left to right, Slash arm in shoulder with Joe Perry, arm and back with Jimmy Page. At a James Brown Concert. Can you imagine if a gay 3some could somehow produce a child? It would be the antichrist as far as I am concerned. And How can Jimmy Page mingle with two fucks who he KNOWS have made their mark by rubbing off of Jimmy's mark? How can he sincerely smile with them when you know they trash him and use his material like hes some whore. Well Page has become a whore. And Axl Rose wishes he was as good as he tries to think he is. But i drew the line at the Freddie Mercury Tribute where he tried to sing one of Freddies songs. Axl, you are not a singer, you are a vocalist. Mercury was a SINGER. I hope that Axl rose gets raped by a large African American male with a 12 inch dinger, and then he stumbles home but never makes it there because a heart condition that he had overlooked all this time decided to act up right then and there and he dies a horrible death as his black heart explodes in his paisley chest.
I’ve never heard this album, but I’m a big fan of the band. What I was really wondering is what the hell Hitman413’s parents did to him, ‘cause that is one messed up e-mail entry. And now, for the sole purpose of amusing myself, I will write the funniest/weirdest parts of his e-mail, and write super-witty comments about them, despite the fact that I’m not really a funny person.

“Guns and Roses sucks the large flaccid penis of a rabid horse.” How does he know that horses penises get flaccid when their rabid? And also, do the members of GNR all suck it at the same time, or do they have to take turns pleasuring the horse?

“I am a singer in a much less successful band, but we are ass over face better than GnR.” I’m not even sure I have to comment on that one, but I will: ass over face? Sounds like that band’s having one wild homosexual orgy.

“I hope that Axl rose gets raped by a large African American male with a 12 inch dinger, and then he stumbles home but never makes it there because a heart condition that he had overlooked all this time decided to act up right then and there and he dies a horrible death as his black heart explodes in his paisley chest.” Ok, this one I definitely don’t have to respond to, but what the hell: dinger? I’ve never heard it called that before, but is that better or worse then pleasuring a horse? You decide.

And on one final note, Slash is an awesome guitarist. (MSL)
My child found GNR and she loves them from the way they sing to the way they use to perform it's just ashame that Lash and Axel could not stop the rows. SO AXEL OR LASH COME ON YOU GOT TO DO SOMETHING JUST FOR OLD TIME SAKE !!!!!!

Well what a great band man axel rose well really a striking voice it make me feel happy to hmmm.... so i thi ng this is the best band after mettalica n slash woh really a freaky guitarist no doubt about it

Just read through the reviews or should I say peoples whining about Guns N’ Roses. They came out in the late 80’ s at a perfect time when people were tired of polished glam bands. Either way you put it GNR was one of the best and talented bands in the late 80’s and early 90’s. Sure Axl was an idiot that alienated the other members, but just listen to some of the lyrics and Slash’s beautiful riffs, they still stand the test of time. So shut the fuck up and don’t listen to the music if you don’t like it, and most of all stop whining.
Hey man im a die hard rock fan too but your a little lost. Slash made all his own solos and of course Guns N' Roses is going to sound like aerosmith or black sabbath. Thats what hard rock is! And I saw what you said I think Pink Floyd is a little over rated...Doesn't sound to much like rock really at all...I own the wall but Led Zeppelin kicked there ass back in those days. But all in all Guns N' Roses is my favorite band still they had so much talent. And im sick of poseurs listening to Guns N' Roses like you said "all the metal heads buying up appetite for destruction" its like that now but now everyone is buying up greenday for this modern age...(Green day sucks) Like this guy that commented your site " after reading ur page on guns n roses , umade some fair points , but some of the pricks who said axl sucks id just like tosay FUCK YOU SUCK MY FUCKING DICK , axl's back now so u can stress his new album all u want cos it will be one of the greatist albums ever , ps=welcome 2 the jungle,nighttrain,paradise city, sweet child of mine ,civil war,estranged,u could be mine,dont cry,and november rain r the best songs ever from a diehard gunner" As he said "Fuck you suck my fucking dick" Didn't Axl Rose say that in the "Get in the ring" Song? And to Bon Jovi? And im sure there are other times I can't remember. See most are poseurs! And Guns N' Roses is such a good band too. Not to mention this guys insanely fucking stupid lack of spelling. Basically the majority of Guns N' Roses fans are poseurs. I remember going to see Velvet Revolver in concert in Manchester next to me there were some fucking kids thinking there bad ass punks with mohawks and Korn shirts show up laughing randomly and trying to head bang. Sad real sad. Also people that make tribute bands out of them they suck so bad every Guns N' Roses tribute band I ever listened too. That and after some dip shit hears one track of "Welcome To The Jungle" And goes out to buy a guitar. And start a band, And all those bands end up sucking if you want to know where you find them just go to or bands these days are just loser kids in high school playing power chords in like every song that are so untalented. Music basically went to hell with all we got out now, and you got to be fucking kidding me about rap that is so bad that and ghetto. I hate it especially in class fucking kids bringing in rap and make the teacher put it on. Ghetto is the retard version of the mafia. That and there dialect is so fucking stupid "Homie yo dis dat" So I have like no respect for black people and no im not racist. Jimi Hendrix and Bob Marley kick ass. That and all this green day, Korn, Nin, Fron first to last, disturbed, my chemical romance, I hate it just hate it. And also emo I can not stand emo or gothic people they all pretend to have problems have horrible bands and always cut and feel they need to be depressed to get attention its shit. And punk these days are poseurs. Bring back fucking Sex Pistols! All in all Guns N' Roses is a great band and was and still is abused by loser kids. Same kids that keep buying out "Use your illusion" I look in stores its sold out everywhere! I had to come down to ebay as a result. Stop buying GNR CDS! Your making it hard on the people who are real rock fans that like good music and actually have talent!

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Chinese Democracy - Geffen 2008
rating = 3

This album took 15 years, 12 band members, 6 musical guests and THIRTY-EIGHT recording engineers to complete. Maybe this is why every component of every song sounds like it was recorded by a person sitting alone in front of a computer.

After listening to the album a few times, I'm pretty sure I can break down the decade-and-a-half Chinese Democracy recording process into four distinct phases:

Day One: Write 14 mediocre songs.

Day Two: Record basic tracks for 14 mediocre songs.

Days Three Through Five Thousand Four Hundred And Seventy-Seven: Pile on as many unnecessary guitar solos, strings, horns, pianos, synths, keyboards, backing vocals and stupid production gimmicks as humanly possible.

Day Five Thousand Four Hundred And Seventy-Eight: Release the finished album in the middle of an economic crisis, when influential music publications are so afraid of losing ad revenue that a negative review is an impossibility.

Chinese Democracy is a poor record. All-Music Guide and Rolling Stone gave it 4 stars out of 5 (and Spin 3.5 out of 5), but not a single Guns N' Roses fan I know can stomach more than ten minutes of it. Probably because it's not Guns N' Roses! Look at the songwriting credits for Appetite For Destruction: Duff McKagan, Slash and Izzy Stradlin wrote nearly all the music on it (though to give due credit, two of the three songs co-credited to Axl are "Sweet Child O' Mine" and "Welcome To The Jungle"). This trend continued for the most part on the Use Your Illusions, though Axl did finally write some of his own music (including "November Rain" and "Estranged"). Still, all three of these beloved Guns N' Roses albums overflowed with McKagan, Slash and Stradlin songwriting credits. What does this mean? It means that McKagan, Slash and Stradlin were crucial and irreplaceable ingredients of the GnR formula that attracted so many millions of fans during the band's brief existence.

Now look at Chinese Democracy: the title track was written by Axl and the Vandals' drummer. And yes I love the Vandals, but the drummer isn't exactly one of their top three songwriters! Moving on, we find other tracks attributed to former Replacements bassist Tommy Stinson (who wrote almost NOTHING while in the Replacements), one-time Primus drummer 'Brain' (who wrote NOTHING while in Primus), Nine Inch Nails guitarist Robin Finck (who has written NOTHING for Nine Inch Nails), Use Your Illusions keyboardist Dizzy Reed (who wrote NOTHING for those records), Axl's childhood friend Paul Tobias, and Caram Castanzo -- the album's digital editor.

I'm not saying that lightning can't strike twice, or that it would've been impossible for Axl to find new collaborators as talented and imaginative as McKagan, Slash and Stradlin were at their creative peak. But I think his luck might've been a bit better had he chosen to collaborate with ACTUAL SONGWRITERS, rather than former sidemen of songwriters.

The result is an epic bombastic presentation of simplistic, predictable crap songs buried under five trillion instrumental overdubs. The bulk is comprised of rotten piano ballads, faceless heavy metal chord progressions, and rank funk rockers -- every one dragged out to interminable length through multiple guitar solos and endless repetitions of anthemic Linkin Parky choruses. Still, the album does raise some interesting questions. Like what's up with all the hip-hop beats? And why does Axl like an idiot during the quiet ballads? And why are there like five minutes of Martin Luther King samples in the middle of "Madagascar"? And what is up with the hilarious sub-sub-Yes acapella vocal arrangement at the beginning of "Scraped"? Hopefully these questions will be answered in the liner notes of the next pressing.

There are a few nice moments here and there: the guitar chords and phrasing of ballad "Better" sound strangely like Minus The Bear; flatulent boogie rocker "Riad N' The Bedouins" features an effective emotional chorus; piano ballad "This I Love" is surprisingly regal considering who wrote it; and ballad/hip-hop/metal hybrid "Prostitute" is at least slightly less predictable than the others. Still, the only song that fully resonates creatively, musically and atmospherically is the creepy, almost Pink Floyd-esque "Sorry." So good work on that one, backup singer Sebastian Bach of Skid Row fame.

In conclusion, Chinese Democracy is weakly written, annoyingly sung, and massively overproduced. Avoid!

Note to Geffen Records: If you would like to purchase an "8"-rating review, please contact me at the email address below. Thanks!

Reader Comments
you failed to mention buckethead, who has written quite a lot of albums.

you musn't like epic Madasgascar absolutely owns, as does the title track, this I love, prostitute & sorry. Expecting it sound like old guns? why? none, aside from Axl is still there, saying he sounds annoying? Not really any different than his past CD's imo. CD is honestly the best thing in hardrock. Foo Fighters, Nickelback, Greenday? no thanks.......!
I think this album is crap, because it's like the last efforts of a man about to drown, it has so little creativity, and in response to, i think if your universe is only foo fighters, nickelback and green day then the best album is definitely chinese democracy, but in real life there are many unknown bands that are better than that
Here is my review of "Chinese Democracy".

Now, I know you haven't heard of the artist Savage. Well, I hadn't either, but he released "Chinese Democracy" last year. I haven't heard the actual album but I found samples of every song online ( The music is possibly interesting metal. The strangest thing is that guitar work on the "Spend the Night" and "Even Peace Has a Price" seems influenced by LuMP. Unfortunately, this album has to be up for some type of Worst Singing of All Time award. Let's use a SAT type analog about the singing: Chuck Mosley is to Mike Patton as Savage is to The Residents Yeah, that bad! Let's give the music a 6 but take off 4 points for the singing to get a 2.

However, I'm probably being too generous. Every Amazon review is one star and I'll end on this quote from one: "My ears bled after this atrocity."

Oh sorry, wrong album. You wanted the album by the Brainbogs. Going off the samples on Amazon. A hard rock album that ends with two ballads. But light years better than Savage. Boring but not awful. Let's give it a 4.

Sorry, missed it again. Obviously, you were talking about "Chinese Democracy (You Snooze, You Lose)" by The Offspring. Sure, they eventually released it as "Splinter" and tried to write the original title off as an April's Fools Joke later. After the kickass "Smash", they turned into a joke band. Now, what happened here, the kickass band I loved is back. Their second best album - an 8.5.

What??? There is another album by the name??? By Guns N'Roses???? What a frigging mess. Wait, one of the numerous drummers was the drummers on the Offspring album? Did someone think those annoying noises at the beginning of "Shackler's Revenge" were a good idea? An instant way to improve the album is to replace "Street of Dreams" with Rainbow's vastly superior song of the same name. I think Axl wrote "Scraped" on that track meaning to delete it and someone left it on the album. Okay, it is tolerable after the "sub-sub-Yes acapella" part. "This I Love" gave me a flashback to "Epitaph" from "Sad Wings of Destiny" by Judas Priest (1976). I'm sure Axl was going after that massive market of people who want Judas Priest piano ballads. The title track and "Better" I like, but the rest of it is forgettable. Also, this album shows that you can spend too long perfecting music. I'll give it a 5.
If the original Guns N' Roses ever got back together and played more or less ANY song off Chinese Democracy it would be a complete and utter disaster. Apart from the obvious, I mean this in relation to the guitar solos on the record. The fact that two of the most technically versatile guitarists EVER play on Chinese Democracy illustrates just how over the top this record is. Needless to say, it's a complete failure in almost every way. A lot of the songs sound like they were penned for Avril Lavigne at the last minute. It's all style over content, as the seemingly-impossible-to-replicate guitar solos suggest. Another thing I can't help but notice is how much Axl's voice has changed. I mean, he still has his distinctive sound but it seems as if he's also being possessed by Louis Armstrong (after a few drinks) at times. Chinese Democracy sounds like it should have came out in 1998! There is an extremely limited lyrical content or emotion on this album. Chinese Democracy, the track, is woeful stuff. Too self-consciously "I'M BACK!"-ish and the main riff isn't exactly My Michelle. Shackler's Revenge sounds like almost ever track Buckethead has ever recorded and the second "I don't believe it" on the chorus sounds somewhat ridiculous. That hip-hop influenced is discouraging. I think Better is a fairly decent track in comparison with the rest of the album. It seems as if he's trying to say SOMETHING as opposed to NOTHING ... over and over again. Street of Dreams is a thinly-veiled, Queen-influenced November Rain sequel gone wrong. The vocals on it are weird too! Notice how at the start Axl realises he's channeling Louis Armstrong again and thinks "Shit! How did I sound like on Appetite again?! That's it!" and goes back to his "original style". This song actually sounds like it should be sung by anonymous-in-the-US-strangely-big-in-the-UK singer Robbie Williams. If The World is one of the worst songs I've ever, EVER heard and a perfect example of that overused vocal thing Axl does were he sings a note and bends it, finishing on that distinctive, raspy noise. There Was A Time isn't great. The chorus is like a bad attempt at a self-titled era Alice In Chains chorus. Catcher in the Rye is a bad attempt at a radio friendly hit in which Nickleback sound revolutionary in comparison. Scraped is a a perfect example of the horrific interchangeability of Louis and Appetite-era Axl. Riad n' The Bedouins isn't the WORST song on the album as it sounds vaguely meaningful and catchy. The beginning chord of Sorry sounds like the beginning of Rutti by Slowdive. I actually like this song too. It sounds believable and appears to be lacking in the trademark shite that makes most of this album embarrassing. I.R.S. sounds like a Sheryl Crow (featuring Dave Navarro) b-side. It's chord progression was penned by a 7 year old. Madagascar is clearly about Axl trying to make Guns work on it's own. Or is it? I don't know. I can't be sure. It sounds, however, like he wrote the lyrics a few weeks after the GOOD Guns N' Roses more or less disbanding. It lacks the soul and depth it gives the impression of having. The interlude with Mather Luther King and - worst of all - that clip from the start of Civil War wouldn't be so bad if it didn't contain these! It asserts Axl's determination TOO much and works against the track as a result. This I Love is a rip-off of some yawn-some ballad I can't remember at the present moment. It sounds as if it should have been on the Armageddon soundtrack (but, of course, not on the actual movie). It appears "meaningful" though, and that counts for something on a record that is shamefully overblown without lyrical emphasis, originality or credability. Prostitute sounds too much "Kelly Clarkson" for my liking but somehow I think it's one of the stronger tracks on the record. Overall! There are at least only three decent songs on Chinese Democracy; the shredded, lead guitar-work is pathetic; all attempted replications of Slash's lead guitar style are misguided; the vocals are frequently disturbing and the wait, most certainly, was not worth it.

Great review of this horrible album. The point about releasing it now during an economic crisis when publications are so fearful of losing ad revenue that a bad review is impossible is absolutely spot ON, though I doubt Axl "Kim Basinger" Rose even thought about that on his own.

Now review Lard already! Cmon, I sent you CDs you didn't like!
GNR is possibly the most overrated band of the last 25 years. They rewrote Aerosmith's "Rocks" 2 or 3 times, and called it a day. Axl Rose is possibly the worst hard rock singer who ever lived. He is horrible. A band that was greater than the sum of their parts--as many bands are--but that's giving them more praise than they deserve.
Hey Mark! I'm a first time commenter, long time reader. I really admire your writing, but on this review, I have to say you missed the mark.

I can understand your frustration at listening to a Guns N' Roses album without Slash, Duff, Izzy or Steve. I still don't think Axl was right in taking the GN'R name for himself. But you can't judge this album solely on its name, or expect Chinese Democracy to sound just like Appetite for Destruction. For all intents and purposes this is an entirely different band. And it's a great band too: Axl picked a killer rhythm section, some talented keyboard players and some of the best guitarists in the world right now to create his vision. Not everyone can say they had Buckethead or Robin Finck play on their record. Even though Slash is one of my all-time favorite guitarists and a huge influence on my own playing, I can't really imagine songs like "There Was A Time" or "Better" being what they are if he were at the helm, directing every riff and solo. Axl's "hired guns", on the other hand, make the album sound extremely diverse and more ambitious than almost any record around these days.

And it might be easy to harp on Axl for going overboard on some tracks ("If the World" and "I.R.S." are two big stinkers), but the truth is that he made some great songs. The title track is a kickass rocker and a great way to open up the record, "Shackler's Revenge" has a crazy riff and chorus, and piano ballads like "Street of Dreams" and "This I Love" show not only Axl's sensitive side but his true gift for melodies. "Better" and "Catcher in the Rye" are two brilliant pop songs, and "There Was A Time" is, in a word, epic. I honestly have never heard anything like it.

Sure, the production can get a little ridiculous at times (that's what happens when you spend fifteen years obsessively trying to make the record perfect), and at a whopping 75 minutes, it's easy to get a little tired. But I challenge you to find a modern rock and roll album that takes as many risks, tries as many different sounds, and offers more delight than Chinese Democracy does. I know it's easy to give Axl flack for, well, everything involving the creation of this record (and that's not to say he doesn't deserve some of it), but it's very hard to deny his talent. He's got the voice, he's got the songs, and he's got the people to back him up. I give this record an easy 9/10 and hope the next album is just as good.
Ah, I knew this review was gonna be funny! You didn't disappoint.

Also, I think you pretty much nailed it. I especially like your timeline, that was friggin' hilarious, and your point about about how Axl has written the whole record with a bunch of sidemen who mostly failed to contribute anything of note to their past bands.

The only thing I disagree on: I think that Sorry is actually one of the most annoying and pathetic songs ever written--Axl whining about his Nixonesque list of enemies the way Roger Waters whined about his wife on The Wall, with the further aggravating factor being that Rose isn't even in the same league as Waters in terms of lyric-writing ability. It's just gross.

One thing that cracks me about about this album: Axl's fan club wants to make out like it's this progressive masterpiece that isn't doing as well in the charts and reviews as it should just because it's going over everyone's head. Actually, it's a collection of fairly pedestrian hard rock songs and ballads (SOME of them, IMHO, fairly good, some not at all)--it's just that they are buried under the most ridiculously overblown production of all time and pro-tooled until every bit of life has been sucked out of them.

And, to make it funnier, a lot of that production is also fairly pedestrian (a lot of generic pop and hip-hop beats, "industrial" sound effects that sound stolen from a Marilyn Manson record), "ethnic" orchestration on Madagascar that sounds Micky-Mouse compared to what John Paul Jones can did with a freakin' ancient Mellotron on Kashmir way back in the 70's. The only thing that's even unusual about the production is just the sheer amount of effects crammed together on virtually every moment of the record.

And one more ironic note: the Axl fanboys are saying "of course it doesn't sound like Appetite--this is 2008, not 1988." Well, fine. Nothing the matter with progress. But, the problem is, the album doesn't sound like 2008, either--it sounds way more like 1998, around the time when most of these songs were actually written. So, yeah, lots of Korn and Marilyn Manson... mixed in with Elton John and Queen and a bit of hip-hop and teen pop thrown in. If anything, it sounds like a godawful mix of the 70's and 90's.

Anyway, prepare yourself for LOTS of whiny e-mails protesting your review!

Having said all that, there are some good songs here, though many are partially or wholly ruined by the production. IRS, for example, sounds like another decent mid-tempo GNR-ish rocker that is repeatedly derailed by a "drum" track that sounds like something off of a Britney Spears record. Madagascar is a nice epic ballad that is ruined by similar lame "modern" production effects, the half-assed "orchestral" effects I refer to above, and the incomprehensible samples from MLK and various movies. Catcher is the Rye has a nice melody and decent lyrics, and actually is pretty good for the first minute or so, but then just becomes a huge mess of production--I think that Axl thought it was going to be like his "Hey Jude" or something, but it ends up being yet another example of a fairly simple song being ruined by the huge amounts of unnecessary production effects that clutter most of this record.

Meanwhile, the title track, after the laughably overblown intro, manages to be a decent industrial rocker that isn't too overwhelmed by the effects, but... where in the hell is the chorus? I mean, you keep waiting for a soaring chorus (a lot of the other songs on this album have some nice soaring choruses, one of its relatively few redeeming factors), but just when it seems like we're going to get one, it goes back into the main grunge-meets-nu-metal riff. Nice job Axl--with 15 years, couldn't you have bothered to come up with a chorus for the title track, lead track and first single of yer magnum opus???

I think my faves are Better (somehow, it manages to transcend the mix of generic production effects), There Was A Time (sounds like it could have fit in fine on one of the Abuse Your Delusion albums, and they manage not to overload it with production), and Riad and the Bedoins (ridiculous song, but it rocks, and I like the cheesy funk interludes with the spastic synth parts--another example of the dartboard eclectism working for a change).

The worst parts? Shackler's Revenge is a horridly fugly nu-metal train wreck, If the World sounds like Axl thought he was being innovative in combining funk and flamenco, but his fake-sounding ineptness at both genres makes the song just sound lame, the rockin' riffed of Scraped are utterly ruined by the simplistic lyrics and the horrible acapella harmony bits, and "This I Love" is just one of the whiniest, most limp-wristed power ballads I have ever heard anywhere.

Anyway, all I can say is that I'm grateful to the Internet for giving me the opportunity to satisfy my morbid curiousity about what this album would sound like, without actually having to buy the thing! It IS an interesting record, the same way that a car accident is interesting... you just want to stare at it and absorb the horror for a bit, before going on and desperately trying to get it out of your mind. Download it for free, marvel at the sheer horror of it all, and then delete it off your computer before it eats yer brain!

4 stars out of 10.

10/10. Axl Rose has confirmed his maverick genius by following up the majestic, era defining 'Spaghetti Incident' with an even more devastatingly effective epic. This is a sprawling masterwork that teems with wild rock abandon from start to finish. Incredible, multi-million dollar production makes you feel like you're INSIDE the songs, for the first time ever in music history. The bar has been raised.
Hey Mark

This is why we keep reading your reviews. I agree with your review, gawd what a muddy pile of bile this record was. I could only stomach three songs when I heard it at Best Buy. For good G N R, I'll stick with Spegetti Incident bwahahahaha.
This album is weird. I agree with your review and I also agree that I should hate it, but I just don't. I actually really like it. I've been listening to it consistently since it came out. I just can't keep my ears off it. I don't understand it, because it SHOULD be terrible and have no replay value at all. At first, I thought I was just listening to it over and over because of the initial shock of FINALLY LISTENING TO CHINESE DEMOCRACY. But then after the fourth or fifth listen, when I should have gotten sick of it and demanded my money back from iTunes, I realized that I ACTUALLY LIKE IT. A LOT.

It's laboriously produced, it sounds like it was recorded in 2000, and it really doesn't rock much at all. However, it somehow sounds great and there are actually a lot of really good melodies, like in "Catcher in the Rye" and the insanely-autotuned "Street of Dreams." Even the overused meathead riff in "Chinese Democracy" won me over. The songwriting in general is very solid and thoughtful. I don't think there is a truly bad song on the album, although "Scraped" is definitely the weakest of the bunch. I'm not even that big of a GnR fan, but this album really does it for me. It's wrong and I shouldn't, but I love the damn thing and I have to stand by that. Therefore, I understand how one could give this a 3/10, but I personally would give it 8/10.

S Fall
Do you know the real reason that Chinese Democracy took 15 years to make? Because Axl Rose has an 'appetite for distraction', that's why.
Figures the only good song would be written by the former singer of Skid Row, who consistently bettered GNR in the glam theatre. At least this has another glimpse into his songwriting ability, something Skid Row sorely lacks without him. Otherwise it's just another overproduced pile of audial shit selling on its name alone, much like the latest Metallica. See, this is why noise is so much better than music.
I am a die-hard GNR fan and i love the new album. I rate it a 10/10. I love every song and think it is better than any of the old albums. I have been a GNR fan since 1986.
So, back when Skid Row was wishing they were Guns-N-Roses, Axl Rose was secretly a Sebastian Bach wannabe. Stick a fork in this dude - he's done. GNR was a down and dirty rock band with no pretention of the hairy metal scene that existed when they first burst onto the scene. This album represents the very thing GNR railed against in 1987. Axl Rose doing pomp-metal makes as much sense as Dream Theater trying to sound like Metallica.
If I was to describe this album in ten words, it would sound like this: "Buckethead playing overblown Numetal with Axl Rose not shutting up." cause really, thats what this album is. I'm honestly not much of a GnR fan, but being a huge fan of both Ron Thal and Buckethead, I picked this up. Ironically, Thal has no writing credits for this album. Maybe If he did, he could have salvaged this turd of a CD. Why did it take Axl fifteen years to write an album of seemingly identical ballads? He was prolly busy spending all of the production money on the crack needed to keep his voice sounding like a 7 year old girl.

Want to know a secret?

*takes you behind giant couch*

*peeks above couch to make sure nobody's around*

I like this album.

Actually, I really like this album. Maybe I'm losing my taste in music. Maybe I'm a shitty rock artist you can hear at . Maybe Axl Rose owns my soul. But I get a kick out of this album. I don't find the songs dull at all, and I actually love the overproduction.

I'd give it a 9/10
See, going into this review I knew there was NO WAY I’d agree with you, not just because this album was DESTINED to be hated, not only by everyone bound to say “we waited 15 years for THIS?! Blah blah etc”, but because the former GNR mates are in Velvet Revolver. And if anyone has ever, everrrrr checked out either a GNR or VR music video on youtube, the bitching is endless. Hell, just looking up at the comments at the older GNR records, there’s people bitching about those too! How could this album live up to its hype? It could’ve been Dark Side of the Moon and Back In Black rolled into one and smoked over every single Aerosmith released in the 70s and people would STILL bitch.

And you didn’t give Appetite For Destruction a 10. Or even bother to mention that there’s a best of for the Use Your Illusion albums that contains the best songs from each (thereby cutting out most of those unnecessary filler tracks). Or have any bootlegs listed like you usually would for a prominent band. Clearly we’re at two different wavelengths from the get-go.

Anyways, I enjoy the album. I really enjoy the album. I think its one of the best things to come out of the style of over-production that bands like Disturbed have been getting for years. And I think its varied, especially between the death-industrial style of “Better” to the piano ballads (which I think segue brilliantly into a more hard edge guitar) to even Buckethead’s acoustic-flamenco-guttertrash guitar line on “This I Love”. Also, for anyone who has ever seen the footage from GNR in Rio (mostly rubbish, by the way) then the speech-break in “Madagascar” makes more sense, because live it almost seemed religious.

MY ONLY MAJOR GRIPES are the unnecessary loop at the intro to “IRS”, the replaced vocal line on “There Was A Time” at the end from the demo (yeah, that’s right, I’ve got demos goddamnit), the hip hop beats, and Axl’s nasally vocals on “Scraped”. That’s it. Period. In my top 10 favorite albums of last year.

And Tommy Stinson wrote some FINE pop-rock Faces-esque music in his solo band Bash & Pop, you asshole.
"Not a single Guns N' Roses fan I know can stomach more than ten minutes of it." Well, first, I wonder how anyone on EARTH can stand any part of Appetite for Destruction besides the goddamn hits, and second, I don't think this album's any worse or better. It's a bunch of Aerosmith-ripoff heavy metal with occasional vocal hooks, kickass solos, and no decent riffs at all. What's the difference? Oh, right, it's "modern." It's got "overproduction." It's also "Nine Inch Nails ripoff". Therefore, critics are payola. PAYOLA, I tell you.

Now, now, stop being silly. Personally, I'm quite disappointed that it took Axl 17 years to come up with THIS--frankly, he couldn't have taken more than a couple months to write and arrange everything. And as far as "overproduction" goes, Trent Reznor himself would bury the whole album with just one song. Still, even though the songs aren't much better than the filler on the band's much-overrated debut (of crap), they're more interestingly arranged. And I do quite enjoy the guitar solo on the sixth or seventh song (whichever one it is). So I give it a 6.66, because it's marginally higher than what I give Appetite For Boring Crap, and Axl is Satan.
I do want to say I like alot of thier songs, but....

Legendary Cock Axl Rose has a voice of a King . Undeniably beautiful. And the biggest joke ever was just made. Folks, he’s a joke. He’s fat, he's a jerk, he can’t sing. Folks, he’s a cock. A Cock in every sense of the Word. He starts riot's at concerts, and for no other good reason but to have attention thrown toward himself. Most people hate him, I do to, but nothing is worse then his Guitarist Slash. First of all, he sucks. He has no talent. But He’s Open about it. "I Suck" Says Slash. Axl and Slash had “Fights” before and they dislike one and other. I really don’t see why not. They both are complete A-Holes. They are now Broken up and Slash is with Cocky "Velvet Revolver" While Axl, the jerk he is, is stuck with Guns with Cocky new members. "Chinese Democracy" There new album, is supposed to be “Art.” But ide call it “Art Cock.” A band that starts riot's, shows up late to every concert, and has basically no class or respect for there own cocky fans, Still Suck. The Worst band ever? I Think So. Mabey some of thier songs are good. The un-Cocky "Pardise city" charges through the speaker with force, and The Illusion albums are a treat, but lyric wise, its just cock, cock, and more cock. November rain is an embarrasing stab at Elton, and then "Get in the Ring" is a caddel call with power attachments. mabey if they build more of a fan base, they would shine. But cock, no cock.


Appetite for Destruction - 4.0/10

Gnr Lies - 3.0/10

Use Your Illusion 1 - 5.0/10

Use Your Illusion 2 – 6.0/10

Spaghetti Incident – 3.0/10

Live Era – 4.0/10

Chinese Democracy 4.0/10

Dont ban me, but you need a cock check.
Yeah, these guys shouldn't be called Guns 'N Roses anymore. They should be called HIRED GUNS 'N ROSE instead.

Get it? Because it's just Axl Rose with some hired session musicians who need the money and duuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Fuck these decadent, overrated cock rockers. They have a few poppy Aerosmith-worship songs under their belt that could have been decent, but their music falls flat pretty quick, in part because of Axl's abominable singing/lyrics. Since he's also such a trendhopping shiteater anyways, this album sounds like a long, overdrawn identity crisis, probably because it spans 15 years of dated musical trends that Axl tried to conform to separately at different time periods with all of these songs that he just couldn't release until 2008. Every nauseating, yawn-inducing, depressing musical trend that has plagued mainstream music since 1993 is here: The album is an amalgam of every abominable pop, nu-rock, hip-hop, glam rock, and faux-funk cliche we have been forced to endure these past two decades because of the mainstream, and they are all incongruously thrown together under a heap of superfluous overdubs and plastic production in a really bizarre, disorganized package. When a man has to add on that much shit to a single track to feel good about it, you just know he's compensating for something. Read into that statement -- or, rather, from his shrill, whiny voice and his onstage bitchiness -- what you want. This guy has one of the most overrated voices in rock. Listen: JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN HIT A BUNCH OF HIGH NOTES DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD (or at least that you can do it well). I'd rather listen to someone with clearly limited range but with plenty of charisma and a distinctive voice -- Bon Scott and James Hetfield are quick, obvious examples -- than some guy like King Diamond who sounds like he has his balls in a vice grip. Of course, one can still give King Diamond credit, since he has more talent, balls, and credibility than this washed up junkie Asshole Pose could ever dream of having.

Axl attacks fans and fucks off stage every time one person throws a nickel, Slash is a media whore on par with Bono, and Steven Adler used to give head for smack (that's not a lie, he actually admitted that). These are the scumbags the music world looks up to? I'm at a loss to say anything more on that matter.

By the way, I just wanted to excuse my former 13-year-old self who sent you my first few comments back in '05-'06. Especially my comment on St. Anger where I said it was good. That was written immaturely and I do realize the album sucks now, I apologize. :)

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