Beastie Boys

White rappers? Ha ha ha! No, I'm afraid that's just not gonna work!!! Ha ha ha!!! What are those fools thinking???
*special introductory paragraph!
*Some Old Bullshit
*Licensed To Ill
*Paul's Boutique
*Check Your Head
*Ill Communication
*Root Down EP
*Aglio E Olio EP
*The In Sound From Way Out!
*Hello Nasty
*Live Reading 29 August 1998
*Anthology: The Sounds Of Science
*Demos And Outtakes
*To The 5 Boroughs
*The Mix-Up
*Hot Sauce Committee Part Two
The Beastie Boys are highly regarded as one of the very few worthwhile white rap acts alive, as well as one of the finest all-around rhymin' combos of any color, shade, race, creed, color, or color. When they first made the crossover from hardcore punk to snot-eared breakdance music in 1986, most people thought the whole thing was a joke. Well, sir, that joke went on to become the highest-grossing rap album ever recorded up to that point! Then, to prove that they weren't just kidding around, the Beasters began to develop their background music while giving their lyrics more of a hint of maturity, first by employing the Dust Brothers (phenomenal producers that I know nearly nothing about), then by (gasp!) PLAYING THEIR OWN INSTRUMENTS!!!! Of course, it was this last move that sort of helped create a bit of stylistic confusion for a while there (what the hell are they? A soul group? Hardcore? Rap? Buddhist monks? And if they decide to be all of the above, how can they continue to keep the music interesting?), but it also gave them a nice whiff of "credibility" in a world dominated by pop combos with no musical talent or training whatsofrigginever.

Now let's go album by album, 'cause that'll make a lot more sense than this crappy opening paragraph.

Some Old Bullshit - Grand Royal/Capitol 1994.
Rating = 8

See here, the Beastie Boys weren't always just a bunch of yo-yo-yo homeboys. They used to be generic hardcore punksters in New York City! Or at least, a couple of 'em were. See here, I don't spend my days and nights reading historical literature about the Beastie Boys, but out of the three current members of the combo, only TWO appeared on this early stuff (I think it was Michael Diamond who hadn't joined the band yet, but how can I be sure? How can I be absolutely positive that I'm not leading you astray with a gross mistaken inaccuracy??? Aww, who gives a crap???), along with a drummer who's now in Luscious Jackson. But see here, if you like hardcore punk at all, you should probably like the bollocks out of this release, which compiles the early Polly Wog Stew EP with some early rap/reggae jokes they did probably when they were wasted on that drug we in America call "the Devil's Weed."

So I like this punk stuff! The riffs are catchy, and Adam Horowitz (well, I guess it's Adam Horowitz. Please correct me if I'm wrong, as I never actually bought this album; I just have an illegally-dubbed copy of it) does an amazing job of trying to sing, squeal, grunt, and seethe exactly like Darby Crash of the Germs did before he killed himself and no longer sang quite as well. Call it generic if you want (I did!), but it's still fast, fun, ugly, threatening, and rifftastic - five qualities sorely lacking from what we in the business call "MTV punk." Generic hardcore is a dandy genre to master, and these guys pulled it off!

Now then, about the last four songs. "Cooky Puss" is a couple of prank phone calls to a Carvel ice cream store set to a groovin' shakedown beat and augmented by some funny samples of old Beastie tracks, Steve Martin comedy bits, and crazyass shout-outs that, in and of itself, is a pretty darn entertaining shot; the problem is that it is followed up by a "Bonus Batter" bit of pointless drum beats and an entirely worthless "censored" version of itself. Sure, this stuff might be of interest to a fan purchasing the "Cooky Puss" single, but when you sit down to listen to an album, you don't want to sit through the same song three times in twenty minutes!!! And I'm sorry to speak for you like that, but obviously you just don't have the guts to stand up for yourself and shout, "Excuse me, Mr. Horowitz, if you were in fact with the band during these formative years, and associates, but I've no interest in sitting through the same song several times in a span of less than one thousand seconds! Please reconsider!" "Beastie Revolution" is a pretty funny reggae song, though, and offensive, too! Much like the word "pussyjuice!"

Reader Comments (John Murphy)
Adam Horovitz was not in the original Beastie Boys. Mike D sings all the hardcore tunes.
"Cookie Puss" was a riot, but the Polly Wog Stew EP is kind of a dud. Listen to "Egg Raid on Mojo" and hear some lyrics (?) used later on "Eggman".
why don't u shut the fuck up...u suck god only knows if ur white or black....either way u fuckkin suck..what the hell do u know about the beastie boyz???i'll tell u what u can do with ur illegally dubbed tape of them!!!U can go get a job like everyone else and pay 4 the fukkin tape 10$ ain't 2 much..Ur web page sux why don't u make something u know about like how good u r at sucking dick u fag..I swear if u attempt 2 write me back i will have a field day on ur web page i'll hakk the fuckin thing and put something usefull on ur friggen address and phone number u fag!!!!! (Thomas Rickert)
RE Parthakk's message: Just what, precisely, is getting your goat? Whatever it is, I recommend Prozac as your solution. I even hear that it is affordable these days... (salembox)
Ad Rock was the third Beastie that was not part of the punk outfit The Young and The Useless. Mike D was the lyricist as Mr. Murphy previously pointed out. Overall, [your commentary was] pretty informative. Thnx. (Ashleigh)
I Love The Beastie Boys So Much and when I bought Some Old Bullshit I thought the best song on there was cookie puss let me tell you I would not play that cd in my car i would play ILL Communications now that is a kick ass album. (Marc L. Goldman)
What has to be realized here is that The Beasties became a rap outfit as sort of a marketing ploy. They were getting nowhere as a cheap rip off of Bad Brains and Minor Threat, so they had to augment themselves. I personally think that "Michelle's Farm" and "Beastie Boys" stand out as teriffic hardcore tracks. I think that the last 4 songs are complete crap, and I think that License to Ill is the most overrated album to be released in the last 20 years (except any major rock release in the 90's). It was on Paul's Boutique when they blossomed as hip-hop artists, and promptly wilted, never to release a decent album again. Paul's Boutique and the PollyWag Stew E.P. stand out as the only worthwhile Beastie releases. But don't tell my girlfriend I think that. (Paul Stewardson)
This is pretty generic eighties hardcore but there are some echoes of the Beastie's legendary sense-of-humour. And "Egg Raid On Mojo" is quite simply the best song title I have ever heard.
I disagree with mgoldman on one point. The beastie boys catered not to the demands of the public for another trendy hip hop group. Rather, they incorporated the concept of DYI (Do It Yourself) into the modern music world. Granted, money makin' Mike D. has invested in all the right areas, but does so for the preservation of the band as well as their financial security. When one thinks Beastie Boys, naturally adjectives such as "outrageous" "crazy" and to some hardnoses, "immature" or "annoying" present themselves, but then there is "creative". And the Beastie Boys are just that.

Calling the past financial and other motivated actions of the Beastie Boys "marketing ploys" is a bit harsh. Otherwise, many thanks for sharing your knowledge with myself and other passers-by.
The some old bullshit album is a great collection of the Beastie Boys early works as a hardcore punk band in NYC. The singer on these early works, however, is not a Beastie anymore at all. It's a guy named John Barry(Berry?). The drummer is Kate Schellenbach of Luscious Jackson fame, but she left the band after Cookey Puss came out. Anyway, its a great album if you are a die-hard B boy. (Martin Bilodeau)
Mike D was indeed the singer in Some Old Bullshit and Berry the guitarist, the t.shan guy is wrong.
Review of Pollywog Stew:

Sound: With a quick, fast and urgent shout-to-the-world punk debut, the Beastie Boys tally off around 10 and a half minutes of fast, shredding hardcore fury, lightly mixing ingredients from other legendary hardcore artists such as Minor Threat, Reagan Youth, Bad Brains and The Germs and then supercharging it into a form of frenzy never done before. While the idea presented in all of these tracks is essentially the same, the catchy melodies help divide them and keep the listener hooked this way and that. Guitarist John Barry is relentless, playing fast, urgent power-chords and being so swift at switching from one note to the next that it sounds like all the spontaneously-strummed notes are beautifully slurred together in all their electrifying glory, churning out one simple but catchy and well-played melody string after another and being quick to either pick outlining the Darby Crash style seething vocals of Michael Diamond or quickly thinking up fun counter-melodies. This is made very complete with Kate Schellenbach's drumming sounding like a precise and tired drum solo, stringing together quick clips and drum-rolls to push through all of each song. As a whole this idea may sound like a cop-out, but the Beastie Boys keep it all together at the right time to avoid making it seem sloppy and still manage to push it to an aggressive, fun, shredding extreme unlike any other punk album ever made.

Lyrics: It's all fun, determined party punkin' cliches right here, served on an even poetic platter! Lyrics here perfectly match the urgency of the music, from the valiant riot-inducing urgency of songs like Beastie Boys ("B-E-A-S-T-I-E/cops just don't have respect for me/world is filled with tyranny/all across the stormy sea/B-E-A-S-T-I-E/B-E-A-S-T-I-E/who the hell are we off to see?/let's just come and take unique/now B-E-A-S-T-I-E go/B-E-A-S-T-I-E go") or Riot Fight ("Riot fight, no we don't go fight on friday night/find a trail so that we can all feast on mighty might/riot fight, no we don't fight on friday night/on again, all my life, forget to take the house of white") to the snarling, snotty satire in songs like Jimi ("Oh whoa, let's like, get my bong/and do up some heavy weed, man, I got some really/heavy megsy meg stuff... stone joints... it's totally lost/it's totally... all the time") and Michelle's Farm ("Yee ha, oh shut up you pig fucker, you're so ugly/you're like a zebra adam you're so ugly/you're a pony ass motherfucker/why don't you get a haircut, farm boy?").

In conclusion, their hardcore shit was great, why they turned into just another pack of yo-yo gangsta posers is beyond my comprehension.

Add your thoughts?

Licensed To Ill - Def Jam 1986.
Rating = 9

Okay, I suppose it's basically a novelty record, but it's still darn funny and it'll get your toe a-tappin' if you give it the time of week! This was back when the boys (now dubbed King Ad-Rock, MCA, and Mike D) first discovered the joys of urban break dance music. But see, they still dug rock and roll, too! What to do? How to reconcile? Oh, how?

Well, Def Jam founder Rick Rubin knew how - make 'em white rock rappers! Thus, the backdrop for these stupid racy sexist tales of drink, drugs, and violence is a soundtrack of easily-recognizable white rock anthems; "Rhymin & Stealin" begins with a massive drumbeat stolen from Led Zeppelin's "When The Levee Breaks" that is soon joined by a guitar line lifted from Black Sabbath's "Sweet Leaf," "She's Crafty" samples Zeppelin's "The Ocean," "Slow Ride" steals from War's "Low Rider" (okay, that's not a white rock anthem, but white people like it, dammit to hell!!!), "Time To Get Ill" juxtaposes the "Mr. Ed" theme song with CCR's "Down On The Corner," and both "No Sleep Till Brooklyn" and the classic "Fight For Your Right To Party" feature all-new heavy metal riffs and wild solos courtesy of Mr. Kerry King of Slayer fame! Now, that's my kind o' rap!

Of course, this was 1986, so the rest of the album is basically dominated by tinny fake drums and bass thumps in the Run-D.M.C. vein, but, rather than weakening the album's impact, this minimalist backdrop only serves to accentuate the record's main strength - the side-splitting lyrics and charmingly hateful vocals of Mike, M, and King (Ad; not Kerry). Straddling that infamous line between clever and stupid, the Boys score touchdown after touchdown after foul point with tracks like "Paul Revere," "Hold It Now Hit It" and the instant classic "Girls," featuring the touching couplet, "I axed her out, she said 'No way!' / I should have probably guessed her gay," not to mention "I seen her just the other day / Jackin' Mike D to my dismay!" See, it's crap like this that a good time party album doth make. Everything's classic, from the stupid music to the whiny vocals to the dorky band photo on the inner sleeve to the genius album cover (the front side shows the rear half of an airplane, proudly hailing an American flag, a Beastie Boys logo, and the secret code "3MTA3," which, it turns out, is actually "EAT ME" written backwards; when you flip the record over, you discover that the front half of the plane has smashed headlong into either a mountain or the ground - either way, it's funnier 'n' a John Candy movie).

I'm not really big on this crazy "hip hop" bug that the kids are diggin', but I think it's safe to say that this is the funniest rap album ever, if only because I can't imagine anyone making a funnier one! In fact, the only non-humorous track on the record, "Slow And Low," was contributed by the Boys's friends Run-D.M.C.! Honestly, I despised this record in 1986. I was thirteen, and vehemently against break dance music. But times have changed, mister. My world no longer begins and ends with The Beatles and The Cars. In fact, you might say that I just couldn't see the forest for the trees!

Well, fuck you!!!! What do YOU know about trees???????

Reader Comments
I bought this record when it came out. I was still into Rap back then along with Metal so this was a novelty....a Metal Rap record! Or a Rap Metal record! Whichever... I liked it at the time. Now it's just so Immature. "No Sleep 'Till Brooklyn" which is obviously a nod to Motorhead's "No Sleep 'Till Hammersmith" suffers from the same thing that "Fight For Your right" suffers from. Both have that cliche mid 80's Twisted Sister/Quiet Riot metal sound which just sounds soooo lame compared to the thrash scene which would grab all of metal by the balls a couple of years later.

I never knew Kerry King did the solos. What the fuck was he thinking? far as hilarious lyrics go, in my opinion, nothing but nothing tops Anthrax's "I'm The Man."
Just thought ya might wanna know. For someone who pretends to not know that much about the Beasties sure got a lot of stuff right!
to doug s.: it's a joke!!!!! (Ashleigh)
The coolest Cd Ever I love The New style that song Kicks ASS and AdRock is Tha Bomb (Paul Stewardson)
Incredible. One of the first albums I ever owned and it's still one of my favourite. Sampling Led Zep, Black Sab and Creedence gave away their rock backgrounds as did the hip-hop/metal hybrid of "No Sleep Till Brooklyn" (probably my favourite B-Boy song) and the still-funny-after-all-these years "Fight For Your Right". Oh and the album cover rocks dude !!!!
I love licensed to ill. Being only 15, i was happy to get some incite. That album is the best in my opinion becuase of its craziness. (G. Scott Shipley)
ok well first of all Lisenced to ILL is most likely the best cd ever made! they defy the stereotype of white rappers and are still bringing their fab hip hop sound into the 21st century!and for people to call it"immture and " a rip off" is ridiculous! the beastie Boys kick ass! (Ray Holloway)
I sometimes wonder about which records I've listened to more than any others. And every time, I come to the conlusion it must be one of these 3: Run DMC's Raising Hell, Nevermind by some obscure band from the Pacific Northwest, or Licensed to Ill. If the time I spent listening to these was deleted from my life, I'd be about 5 years younger. That's right, I did the math, punk.

Every song (I guess they're songs) just plain fruits my loop. Those boys were rhymin' like nobody's business and damn if the tunes weren't stealin'. (Whatever happened to scratching anyway? I love that shit.)

As for a favorite track, "Posse in Effect" sweetly kicks me in the groin. "I got a girl in the castle and one in the pagoda, You know I got rhymes like Abe Vigoda." There is no better lyric than that, mis amigos.

These songs are completely silly and Mama like. The Critic formerly known as Prindle should have given this one the 10.
These crazy, dust-smoking hoodlums actually pulled off a successful rap album? I don't know if you'd actually call it rap, though. I just don't know. Whatever it is, it kicks alot of ass. It is hilarious in the vein of fratboy humor, and the Led Zep riffs fit in great. The lyrics are immature, sure, but they're hilarious, are they not? Well, this is probably the Beastie album that i listen to the least, but after reviewing it a bit, i think i'm going to listen to it right now. 8 out of 10 for this cowboy.
There's a bootleg available called "original Ill" which contains the original mix of the "License to Ill" album.

1. 2 unreleased tracks, "I'm Down and The Scenario" are included.
2. GREAT censored verse from "Fight for Your Right" is restored.
"There's a girl on the train who wants to get loose."
"She likes it up front but prefers the caboose."
"Ya take her to your house but your moms got static."
"Your pop kicks her out so ya "UH" in the attic." James Brown sample.. (Roland Fratzl)
After hearing the wonderful hits "Fight For Your Right To Party" and "No Sleep Til Brooklyn" for the 20 thousandth time, I decided to pick up a copy of this album used, thinking there would be more stuff like that on there. I found it to be a huge letdown! Most of the other tracks don't have any real hooks or cool guitar riffs, just whiny rapping over really lame sounds, and the typical rap practice of "sampling" other's music has has never sat well with me. Thanks for pointing out that Kerry King came up with original riffs to those 2 songs I mentioned, because for years now I've been trying to find out where they were sampled from! I'll admit though that most of the lyrics are hilarious and that aspect saves it from being a total stinker, but if the music sucks (which it mostly does), then what's the bleedin' point? It would work better as a comedy album than as a music album, which is what it pretends to be.

As for funniest song ever, it would be pretty hard to top "I Love America" by Alice Cooper, sung from the point of view of a redneck! (James Hippie)
I'm not fan of rap music in general, if that's what you even want to call this, but the Beastie Boys are deserving of their own special circle in Rock and Roll Hell. License To Ill is a novelty record, and not a very funny one at that. Sorry, but N.W.A.'s Straight Outta Compton is funnier, more disturbing, and more outrageous than this album at every turn. It is the only rap record you need to possess - everything else is weak in comparison.

Is it reason enough to hate the Beasties just because they became celebrity Buddhists? I think so. Hey, I'm all for personal and artistic growth (otherwise you end up being the Ramones), but when you feel the need perform your old songs with "updated" lyrics more appropriate to the narrow mindset of your Ultimate Frisbee playing audience (as the Beasties have done), then you're probably in the wrong fucking business! They can cry all they want about Tibet and the Cowardly Lama and freeing Mumia, but it doesn't fool me. Their new P.C. stance is a career move, and a smart one at that. It's natural selection, the rock and roll way!
Eh--not bad. At least half the tracks are good, which is impressive, considering that this is primarily a disc a lot of today's high school students were conceived to.

However, I have a beef with the All Music Guide, which claims the Beasties "pioneered" rap rock with this album, as do about five hundred thousand fans, as did the Grammies in 1998. THEY DID NOT PIONEER CRAP WITH THIS ALBUM EXCEPT FOR THE COLOR OF THEIR SKIN. Run DMC had already pioneered rap rock one year prior with their album King of Rock, which, strangely, sounds far more "white" than this one (New Wave-y, pop metal-ly, etc.), and a lot catchier, too. I will give the Beasties this, though: they're far better rappers than either Run OR DMC. Have your heard "You Talk Too Much"? No? Good!
Oh, I just saw the comment above. That's been kinda bugging me for a while. Sure, the title track, "Fuck the Police" and "Gangsta Gangsta" are great, but what is up with the rest of that thing?? It's like Indiana Jones with Harrison Ford edited out!! Gangsta rap without the aggression, to be exact. Sure, "Parental Discretion Iz Advised" gets ya head nidding, but the rest?? BLEAH!!

Bleah--an amusingly named prostitute from New Guinea. Digs NWA. Met her on a coffee plantation, I did. After our initial hookup in the quicksand pit, had to run naked into the volcano with island tabasco lubricant slinging everywhere from my long burning BURNING YEEOOOOOQ

. . Oh fuckity. I'm not feeling very creative this century.

Add your thoughts?

* Paul's Boutique - Capitol 1989. *
Rating = 10

The classic pairing of Beasties and Dusts (who again, I know absolutely nothing about, other than that they also produced Beck's Odelay), this is a much fuller affair, with bonus bass beats, soul-inflected guitar riffs, and about eighteen-hundred million great samples accompanying King Ad-Rock's whiny yelps, MCA's gruff billygoat throat scrapings, and Mike D's Everyman voicings through twenty-something tales of crime, babes, and err... throwing eggs at people.

Totally awesome this record, with the voicers every bit as obnoxious and silly as on the debut, and the music - WOW. All over the place. Go to Yahoo! and type in "Paul's Boutique" and you'll run across a Web site solely devoted to listing all the samples and references used on this record; then, you'll understand what I'm talking about. I mean, yeah, I catch the Sweet, Ramones, and Beatles samples ("Sounds Of Science" is a beautiful tale set to the "The End" jam), but all this '70s soul stuff? I wouldn't know it. No matter; you can listen to this record twenty times and probably still not catch everything that's going on. Noises, echoing voices, samples, and riffs slide all over each other as they travel from speaker to speaker behind the rhymes, inducing something along the lines of a well-stated "man!" at the mouth of the listener. And the Beasties somehow keep up, with cultural references flyin' out all over the place - "Tom Thumb, Tom Cushman, or tomfoolery / I'm dating women on TV with the help of Chuck Woolery!" is only one of about sixty-eight trillion possible examples. And not once does this record approach stupidity. It's too darn smart! Again, I'm not exactly "Mr. Break Dance Guy," but I can honestly say that I have never in my life heard another rap record this interesting. I could listen to it for days! Hey, maybe I will!!!!

Nah, can't do that. When would I get a chance to listen to my new Turtles album?

Reader Comments (John Murphy)
Paul's Boutique is the shit! I'm still trying to find an album that is even comparable... any suggestions? "Sounds of Science" is the best song and "Egg Man" is pretty dope. Ever see them in concert? I saw them at the Garden and they were fucked up. By the way, Licensed To Ill is supposed to be stupid and immature - you try smoking dust and making a record. (Alexandre Linhares Matias)
Oh, come on! That's one of the 10 greatest records of all time (listing all other seven - only Van Morrison's Astral Weeks and Beach Boys' Pet Sounds are not sampled here). With their assful of pot the Dust Brothers and the B-Boys draw the canon of the black music, listing Motown 60's soul, space 70's funk, proto G-funk (or blaxploitation, you name it), electro, hip hop and - anticipating - trip hop (check "3-Minute Rule" or "Car Thief" - that's real hard) into the same genealogical tree. Beat boxes (human or not), Pink Floyd, obscure rap records, fat bass lines, Ramones, Isaac Hayes and Curtis Mayfield, the Beatles, film footage, George Clinton, Chuck D and Afrika Bambaataa are all one in the fantastic cauldron called Dust Brothers. And the three MC's list everyone - from Benjamin Franklin to themselves, from biblical characters to Dragnet, from mother goose nursery rhymes to the Godfather of Soul (even the Blue Suede Shoes and that cowboy country shit) - proving themselves smarter than those three hardcore kids playing rappers on hard rock samplers. A record of a lifetime (actually a soundtrack of anyone who find himself respectable).

Oh, and the Dust Brothers have worked with Tone Loc and other West Coast rappers (pre-gangsta rap) and one of them (Mike Simpson) worked on the Eels' album (I can't remember the name - that one with the excellent "Novacaine for the Soul"). Don't mix them with the Chemical Brothers, those bloody techno freaks who rechristened themselves after the real Dust Bros. Complaint).

Check it out - more Dust Brothers info:
Production and Songwriting credits
- Biz Markie - Guilty Pleasures
- Boo Ya TRIBE - New Funky Nation
- Buck Pets - Mercuratones
- Def Jef - Just a Poet With a Soul
- Dust Brothers featuring Hulk - World Crisis
- G Love E - Eat to the Beat
- Halo - Alloy
- Lifter - Nickel Bag EP
- Mellow Man Ace - Escape from Havana
- The Scream - Bound by Honor
- Tone Loc - Loc'ed After Dark
- Young MC - Stone Cold Rhymin'
- Vince Neil (yes, the one from MŲtley CrŁe, believe it or not) - Carved in Stone
- Sukia - Contacto Espacial con el Tercer Sexo (check this one, this is greatness profound)
- Sugartooth - The Sounds of Solid
Remixing Credits
- Beastie Boys
- Brigid Boden
- Bomb the Bass
- Buck Pets
- Capleton
- Filter
- Ben Harper
- King Te
- Kipper Jone
- Korn
- Machines of Loving Grace
- Maggie's Dream
- MC Tunes
- Motorhead with Ice T & Whitfield Crane
- Nature
- Nikolai Steen
- Nitzer Ebb
- Shonen Knife
- Technotronic
- They Might Be Giants
- Tone Loc
- A Tribe Called Quest
- Urban Dance Squad
- Whale
Current Projects
- 10 Cent
- Dust Brothers (yeah, their own album - deep stuff!)
- Morphine

Don't think that I'm a Dust Bros. expert, just check the recent issue (with the duo on the cover) of a magazine called KEYBOARD (I hate those magazines-to-musicians, but as I'm in Brazil, they are a fundamental source of info). (Jon Bloom)
I have to agree. The first time I had heard this album (back in the day) it singed off my fuckin' eyebrows. It is the second greatest album of all time (only second to P.E.'s Nation Of Millions...gotta give props to the pioneers). What other band beside the Beasties can get away with rhyming "cellular" with something? The day I outgrew MTV was the day Kurt Loder referred to this album as the B-Boy's "sophomore slump." That was about seven years ago. I am still searching for Kurt Loder, in the hopes of pulling out his eyes and showing him his own eye-less body! Paul's Boutique has phat samples, brilliant rhymes, and is 100% wack-free. Love it. (James Vincent Debevec II)
Am I the only person that does not like this album? Everybody I know likes it, but I think their 2 subsequent albums make Boutique look like a cartoon. I would give it a 2.
Awesome. The best thing about the Beasties is their inability to repeat themselves. This is about as far away from Licensed to Ill as they could get (subsequently, Check Your Head is as different from this one as this is from Licensed). The samples are too numerous and sometimes obscure to mention, but that's what makes 'em great! (Bret Rattray)
Paul's Boutique is certainly one of the best hip hop albums of all time. RUN DMC's Raising Hell is probably considered the best, but the Beasties are way up there. However the sad thing is that they will likely never make another album as good or in the same style as Boutique. (Ashleigh)
That Cd Is Pretty Cool the best songs on it are..
1.Johnny Ryall
2. The Sounds Of Science
3.3 Minute Rule
4.Hey Ladies
5. Looking Down A Barrel Of A Gun
6. Car Thief
7. What Comes Around ( The Best Song Ever)
8. Stop the Train
9. Hello Brooklyn
10. Mike On the Mic (Olivier Imre)
paul's boutique is not only the best "beasty" but is the best and most influential hip hop album i've ever heard.As for their last album I didn't hold together. (Paul Stewardson)
Completely brilliant from start to finish, Paul's Boutique just demands to be listened to in one session, preferably while tokin' down on a big fat spliff. The music just blows your mind and the rapping complements it perfectly. Check out the "A Year And A Day" section of "B-Boy Bouillibaise"! That fuckin' guitar line! Genius!
I have heard that many people feel as if this album was the worst album they ever made. I totally disagree. I don't think there is anything better than Johnny Royal and Shadrach. Those are the greatest. I am a long time Beastie Boys fan and this album is definitely the shizou. This is one of the better albums they ever made.
a couple thoughts to Jon murphy... why dont you shut the fuck up... you have no idea what your saying... the beastie boys have never made a bad cd or tape, and you just cant face it... if your not a beastie fan, then i have to words for ya... SUCK IT!!!!
Paul's Boutique has to be one of the most underrated albums of all time. Many people I know have never even heard of it, mainly because they didn't get their little radio singles from it. But once I pop the album into a CD player, their first reaction is like, "I love it. Where has this been? Where can I buy it?" It was the Boys second greatest album, yielding only to Hello Nasty. But then, just about everything yields to Hello Nasty, now doesn't it?
When i first bought PAULS BOUTIQUE I was a little sketptical but then i really started listening to it and soon it was always in my discman. High Plains Drifter, Johnny Ryall, and Hey Ladies are just some of the great songs on the album. This album was a big change for the boys from licsensed to ill, at first i dont think it was as appreciated as it is now.
Paul's Boutique has gotta be the beastie boys most prize possesion, they really show the talent they got in this mix'n'match type of cd....definetly purchase this album if there is only one beastie boys album you ever buy!
This was the second Beastie album I'd been exposed to. I went and bought it after watching the Beastie Boys Live in Glasglow on the MTV. Shake your Rump totally blew my mind on that special, so I bought the album. I loved it immediately. My uncle commended me on my taste in music. My parents cursed me. And I didn't give a shit. I was too busy listening to care. This is by far my favorite album by the Beasties, and maybe by any band. It is so awesome from start to finish. I love Eggman, and Sounds of Science. I recently purchased the beastie boys video anthology on DVD. The video for Looking Down the Barrel of A Gun is on it, and there is a scene with Mike D hitting a bong in the backseat of a car. is that hilarious or what? these boys are on to something with this crazy whiteboy rap.
I have two copies of this on vinyl.. I just wanted to rub it in..
it's been hinted at, but I think someone should really point out the fact that regardless of how amazingly brilliant this album is, does anyone remember how it fucking TANKED on the charts? All the fans won over from license (and it's subsequent tour) were totally turned off and "Hey ladies" was an embarassment on the pop charts - was there even a second single? I think I even remember that exact moment with Kurt Loser on MTV....anyway, a choked record that was resurrected with a cult following. Those Dust Dudes definately deserve a lot of the props here. (Adrian Denning)
First thing that impressed me about this record was that it sounds nothing at all like Licensed To Ill. Second thing that impressed me is just HOW MUCH FUCKING DAMN STUFF IS GOING ON HERE!!! Loads and loads of samples, sounds. The rapping is much improved, everything is improved. That's the way of the world. Make an album far better than your last, and watch it sell a fraction as many copies. (James Hippie)
As far as Paul's Boutique is concerned - it's my understanding that when they BOUGHT the instrumental tracks that were used on the album from the Dust Brothers they were already completed. They just dropped their own vocal tracks on top of someone else's music (again) and voila - instant album! Innovation is easy when it's just another commodity to invest in. And for the Beastie's it paid off well!

But hey, if you want to check out something really cool you should look for anything you can find by a band called Hose. It was a pre-Beastie Rick Rubin project that he played guitar in, sort of like Flipper covering the Solid Gold playlist. They had an EP on Def Jam but it's pretty hard to find. But look for it anyway - it's worth it!
First, let me say that your review of Paul's Boutique was right on the money. The Dust Brothers helped make it the greatest rap album ever made. If you want to hear some more Dust Brothers, get the Fight Club soundtrack (it's basically a Dust Brothers solo album, and it kicks righteous ass). The main reason that I am writing to you is because of an important element in the Beastie Boys recent work that you have failed to mention. Starting with Hello Nasty, the Beasties had a new dj laying down beats for them. His name is Mix Master Mike, and he is abso-fuckin-loutely amazing. He has mastered the turntables in ways that few people will ever come close to matching. Mix Master Mike met the Beasties at a party and gave them his card. On his card it proudly stated that he was the greatest dj. He's not joking. He was a member of the greatest dj supergroup ever to emerge from the west coast: The Invisible Skratch Pikilz. I say the greatest dj supergroup from the west coast because, to me, the title of greatest in the world is a toss-up between them and the X-Ecutioners, from NYC. But I digress, Mix Master Mike has been an important part of the resurgence of the Beasties popularity that started in 1998 and continues to today.
Ok, the greatest first-listen experience I have ever had is happening RIGHT NOW!!! How could this album be lambasted? How did the critics think they could get away with it (what does that mean, get away with it, like somebody is going to beat 'em up?)!? The simple fact that three New York Jews (I think they're all Jews...) sold more records with their first album than many artists sell in their entire career, I would think, should at least have shown people that these guys were pretty darn talented Jews and that underestimating them would be kind of dumb, I mean, these are no gentiles here, these are JEWS! They could have listened to it a few more times before being sure that their opinion was fully-formed. Complete stupidness aside this album is GREAT! BUT, I can't act smug, then I'd be a young boy's ass. You know, the thing that Kevin Sorbo is seeking out right now?
I don't recognize many of the soul samples either, though I wish I did cause they rule (that slap bass thing in the middle of "Shake Your Rump" being only one of them), but a couple I do recognize, aside from the Beatles samples on "The Sounds of Science" and some of the others. The main sample on "3-Minute Rule" is the intro to Sly and the Family Stone's "Brave and Strong," from their 1971 masterpiece "There's A Riot Goin' On," played at half-speed. The main samples on "Shadrach" are from Sly and the Family Stone's "Loose Booty" (the woman's voice and the "Shadrach-Mesach-Abednego" chant). The main sample on "Egg Man" is the intro to Curtis Mayfield's "Superfly," from the LP "Superfly." But yeah, it's a fantastic album. The Beasties were smoking more weed around this time than practically any other group, rock or hip-hop...they may have even gone neck and neck with Cypress Hill in those sweepstakes, which is certainly a humbling accomplishment. MCA in particular was tripping his brains out on acid at almost every turn, I heard. Psychedelic hip-hop is exactly what this is. I wish there were more hip-hop albums like this. Just so funny: "Doing nose candy on my Bowie coke mirror/My girl asked for some but I pretended not to hear her." That's genius, pure and simple. Apparently it's best listened to when stoned out of your skull.

Does anyone know what was the sample on "Looking Down The Barrel Of A Gun?"
I used to be really into hip hop in the white suburban teenager manner: I bought Public Enemy, then Paul's Boutique & Endtroducing...., later making forays into A Tribe Called Quest, Dr. Dre, De La Soul, Eric B. & Rakim, Wu Tang Clan and it's affiliates. I've also heard many, many, many other artists as almost all of my friends are into rap. Some of them prefer Why? others Aesop Rock, other's OutKast, &c. None of us ever really supported any real hip hop scene though I'd say about half of us made raps with varying degrees of seriousness. For awhile it was the only music I listened to. It must be understood that I got into rap as an offshoot of my interest in post punk -- I used to play the Falls "Early Years: 77-79" in a loop. Much of Mark E. Smith's vocals are rap's and the the music is angular & repetitive just like old school hip hop. The lyrics are rapid fire and very, very intelligent. Everyone reading this should buy that record immediately, it's really cool! Anyways after hearing the angular rhythms & repetition of Wu Tang Clan I thought I had found the ABSOLUTE PERFECTION of post punk. "shit!" I though, "I have found what the Fall and Gang of Four were always aiming for but too timid to pull off!" I stopped listening to rock and had my hip hop albums playing in a constant loop.

For about of year I pushed hip hop on all of my friends who started to really dig it. I should also mention that I was, and my compatriots are still enormous, stonedalldaylong variety potheads. We'd put on "The Chronic" or "36 Chambers" or "Ironman" and smoke bowls and dig the really fast incomprehensible slang, the easily digestible beats and general sininstre party vibe most good hip hop has. After awhile I noticed that hip hop was losing it's shine to me. I started studying it -- I made several beats most from loops I got from jams I participated it as well as one mixing predominately the drum line and a little vocals from the Evens' "On The Face of It" and a folk cover of Bad Brains "I". I was happy with the end results but found it sounding unsatisfying compared to any music I made myself no matter how disorganized, repetitious or simplistic. I realized that's because I invested inherently more of myself when music was created as a physical extension of myself (guitar, bass, noise, vocals) I also found myself listening to more hip hop critically and was deeply disappointed. The lyrics are generally solely self-congratulatory fratboy-esque party chants with little range. Very few rappers ever seriously examine themselves or do anything besides create a persona divorced from anything.

And the music? It's pleasing because THE SOURCE is pleasing but it's also executed by machines. I have the same emotional resonance listening to a hip hop beat as I do listening to a microwave. Both are interesting aurally I guess, but I find myself gravitating towards music that has emotional investment from the creator. Oh man, Minor Threat is awesome beyond awesome!

"Paul's Boutique" is a good enough party album I guess. The music is a pop culture kaleidoscope and the lyrics are too. Are the Beastie Boys ever sincere over the course of the album? There about as REAL as Beck I'd say. The music is good at referencing other people's work but I don't find that laudable -- great, you hired the Dust Brothers to find music for you and weave it together. Beck did the same thing and got the same results essentially as the B-Boys. I also find both bands to have a similar lyrical output: idiotic crap. The B.B.s are good at referencing pop culture and doing pseudo-rap battle posturing but I find it to be trite as it is unconvincing. I've never been too fond of VH1-esque know-it-alls. Any of the the three MC's sound like they'd have been a real star on I love the 90's

Lastly it's a real interesting experiment to go to youtube and listen to Insane Clown Posse. Don't watch the videos, they make the repugnance of the whole affair a lot more noticeable. Just go through their videos and listen to 5 or 6 without passing judgment too quickly. Allow yourself to listen to them as objectively as possible. Their beats are no more gimmicky than Wu Tang's, their words are more cleverly constucted than "Hello Nasty" era Beatie Boys, Phife Dawg or De La Soul's first album. Granted ICP are an abhorrent disgusting band that I hate, but their message isn't really any worse than Wu Tang's who got their start in the music biz by selling coke, and are serious homophobes, racists and misogynists (if you don't believe me check out the lyrics to "Maria," The RZA's verse in "A Better Tomorrow," most anything Cappadonna, U-God or Method man have tainted). I honestly think the only reason they're hated more than Method & Red is because of the ubiquity of Juggalos and that ICP are white and should somehow know better that violence, misogyny & homophobia are wrong. Wu tang/beastie boys/NWA are celebrated for endorsing almost all of the same things as ICP are denounced for.

I dunno from an objective standpoint ICP are a better than decent (I can bring myself to use the words "good" or "great") hip hop outfit. I think that's only possible in a genre that's as bereft of content as rap -- beats mad by machines so it's near-impossible to connect with the music in any real way. The words are displays of cleverness without requisite emotional truth behind them. Because of that the entire genre (WITH A FEW NOTABLE EXCEPTIONS) is overrun with self-aggrandizing anti-social grossness. Whatever, I only find exception with the music. IF YOU'RE A FAN OF THIS I'M GLAD IT MAKES YOU HAPPY IF YOU'RE NOT AN ASSHOLE I DON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEM WITH YOU. at least I was able to realize post punk IS where my heart is and that makes me happy. OH SHIT! CRASS ARE AWESOME!!! "Paul's Boutique" gets a 3 for me cuz Aesop Rock is worse. At least you can dance to this asinine musical backwash!

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Check Your Head - Grand Royal/Capitol 1992.
Rating = 8

This is actually the album that got me interested in the band in the first place (I was in college and displaying an open mind on many an occasion!), so I shouldn't knock it, but it nevertheless represents the beginning of the big Serious Beastie Era, when they replaced the drunken horniness of yesteryear with a self-performed, pot-influenced soul groove and very little in the way of interesting lyricism. The music, thankfully, is mostly really great. The Boys prove that they don't need no dang Dust Brothers to whip up a smooty boogie blather in real asskickin' dance tunes like "So What'cha Want" and "The Maestro," plus they revisit the ol' punk stuff with a cover of an obscure old song called "Time For Livin'"; still, during the second half, the novelty of hearing these three jerks playing straight funk instrumentals starts to wear thin. Much like a writing style that relies too heavily on nonsensical simile. Or a gigantic peach wearing a tuxedo.

They're still really good, and this "playing actual music" gig is a cool way to move forward artistically, but the album as a whole just isn't as satisfyingly entertaining as Licensed or Paul's and, as such, doesn't get a whole lotta airtime round my house.

Reader Comments (John Murphy)
Yo, what's up? You gotta give Check Your Head some more props... "Professor Booty," "Jimmy James" - there's alotta good old-school raps as well as funk instrumentals. It's gotta be hard to beat Paul's Boutique yet this album is far better than Ill Communication." By the way I have Beck's Odelay - it's definitely dope, (The Dust Brothers got the funk) yet it doesn't touch Paul's. Check out the Beasties videos - they're excellent. (Mike Semcheski)
Paul's is good but Check your Head gets maybe 6 stars. Run DMC is way better than Licensed to Ill. (I couldn't tell if you were joking or not) (Ashleigh)
No Doubt best song On that CD is Live at PJ's and Grattitude. I chose those because there sung by Adam Horovitz he is GOD. (Tom Krasuski)
yeah yeah, this is fuckin' most coollest CD of Beasties (cause and Ill communication ) stick to it Mike D. the best songs : live in PJ's and Jimmy James (so without J. Hendrix samples -it's a pitty) (Mike Bryant)
Definitely a cool record, a record to get stoned to. This version of "Jimmy James" doesn't have the "Foxy Lady" samples, but double -album set The Sounds of Science does. Couldn't agree more with the 8/10. You're right the novelty of the B-boys playing those funk instrumentals wears off after about three listens. The second half of the album is not as good as the first, but I like the samples on a few of the songs. ("you should sleep late man, its much easier on your constitution") I wonder what they were taken from? Long live Prindle!

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Ill Communication - Grand Royal/Capitol 1994.
Rating = 7

Uh oh. Anybody smell that? That's artistic stagnation setting in. Hot on the heels of the college party masterpiece Check Your Head, the Beastie Boys released.... ummm, an album that sounds a whole lot like Check Your Head.

Okay, there are definite differences between the two albums (enough to influence Mr. Eric Litchfield, rap music afficionado, to remark that "Ill Communication isn't anywhere near as good as Check Your Head"), but when you get right down to the nitty gritty dirt band, the flute samples, Buddhist tracks (MCA has converted - sigh), and vocal distortion do little to camouflage the fact that this is just another album of the Beasties playing soul-influenced ditties with lyrics that just aren't very interesting ("I want to say a little something that's long overdue / The disrespect to women has got to be through" is a nice sentiment, but wouldn't you agree that it just doesn't have the poetic resonance of, say, "Girls to do the dishes / Girls to clean up my room / Girls to do the laundry / Girls, and then the bathroom!").

Buy it if you want to; I would certainly agree that several of the tracks are phenomenal (especially "Get It Together," which is actually one of the greatest songs they've ever done, thanks to guest vocals by A Tribe Called Quest's Q-Tip, a coolass keyboard sample thing, and some of the funniest lyrics they've written in ages - "I eat the fuckin' pineapple Now & Laters / Listen to me now, don't listen to me later / Fuck it 'cause I know I didn't make it fuckin' rhyme for real / but, yo, technically, I'm as hard as steel"), but there's not a whole lot of creative growth to be heard, and it goes on for about an hour for some reason.

I really like the two new punk songs, though! They kick footballs!

Reader Comments (Jon Bloom)
Artistic stagnation? Maybe. But this album is brilliant in my mind because it includes a lyric in which the Beasties employ a "double simile" ...something no poet, nor journalist, nor lyricist has ever attempted. I don't think such a thing existed before this album. It goes as follows... "Like the Knicks I got game like I worked at Hasbro." The muses were definitely upon them at that moment. (Ashleigh)
THE BEST EVER B- Boys Makin With The Freak Freak is the Best (Thomas Jones-Berney)
Licenced to ill i admit is a sound album, but how can you give it 9/10 when Ill Communication is by far the best thing they have ever done?!!???!!!?!!?!?!!????!??!

and it only gets 7?!?!!!???!!!?!!? I t is similar to Check Your Head but with a far superior edge. Classics such as 'Sure Shot' , 'Alright Hear This' and 'Get it Together' were only inferior to one Beasties' track 'Intergalactic'. And 'Transitions' is pure genius In A Can inside a safe with billions of pounds in it inside the Playboy offices in LA. Understand???????? Well that's my view anyway. (Paul Stewardson)
Really, really, really good. I worship this album! It rules! "Sure Shot", "Root Down", "Sabotage", "Get It Together", "Flute Loop" and "The Update" are all B-Boy classics. "Tough Guy" and "Heart Attack Man" are both really cool. But the best track on the album has gotta be "Futtermans Rule", an awesome instrumental which practically defines the phrase "da shit".

Phone is ringing. Oh my god. (John Andres)
I like the Beastie Boys hell lots. I only have 4 of their Cd's but the best one in the 4 is ILL COMUNICTTION. I think the best song ever made from the Beasties is "GET IT TOGETHER". as paul stewardson said it's "da shit"
I'm surprised you were not pleasantly blown away by Ill Communication. Especially after the disappointing Check Your Head (What's the good of smart ass rhymes if you compress and bury them under a computer synthesized guitar riffs?)

The track with Q Tip, Get It Together, is amazing. Sabotage makes we want to grab my snowboard and rip the half pipe. Root Down makes you wonder where these guys' heads are at that they would put a (a couple actually) '70's inspired funk track in the middle of all those fat break beats. Sambrosa is one of the most funk flavored tunes to come along since the theme from Super Fly.

My only criticism is that the producers could have cut out some of the weaker tracks like the uninspired the Scoop (back to the lame mix a la check you head.)

Overall, a great album that I leave in md cd player for weeks at at time (Pat D.)
I dont have the album, and I cant stand most rap, but "Get It Together" is one helluva of cool ass groove. Probably the best song i ever heard the Beasties do.

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Root Down EP - Grand Royal/Capitol 1995.
Rating = 7

Two remixes of the title track (one moody, ambient and great, one kinda old-schoolish and a bit uneventful) and seven live tracks of various styles (rap, soul, punk). A fun little record that definitely shows their diversity without sticking around long enough to get dull, but not the most important CD to own. Doesn't have any live tracks from Boutique, for one thing. For another thing, most of the live stuff isn't as good as the originals anyway (with the sole exception of "Time To Get Ill," which has updated music and sounds really cool!!!!). I myself got it for about $4.50. I suppose it's worth that..... I suppose.

Reader Comments
Root down baybay! i got my root down! ow!!!!!!! goin back to the ol skool! yea yea yea funky yeah! i met a fan named lite yearz jakson he loved old skool rpa like grandmaster flash! afrika baambaataa! cosmic rap that is electronic can be dancebal as techno none of that cocksucking g bling shit! rap is not bling shit! it can be electronic gimme some underground shit not the pop shit! god anyhow liite will dance and hit it!

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Aglio E Olio EP - Grand Royal/Capitol 1995.
Rating = 7

Eight new punk and hardcore tracks from 1995 Beastie Boys. Good stuff, though not nearly as endearing as that stuff they did before Licensed To Ill. The main problem isn't that the music isn't terribly catchy; hardcore doesn't have to be catchy as long as it tears. The problem is that the old Darby Crash vocals have been replaced by modern-day Beastie vocals, which sound particularly whiny and unappealing set to loud fast guitar numbers. Still, it's really neat that they would make a punk record at this point in their career.

Lots of critics bitch that the B Boys should stay away from this particular genre because they've always sucked at it, but that's a pile of shim. Take it from me; they were a great hardcore band! They understood (and still understand) that you don't need a traditional E-A-B melody to write a good punk song. You just gotta make it sound mean. Now all they have to do is make MCA their lead singer (his hoarse voice would sound great on these tracks!) and they might have something.

No, not the George Harrison song.

What made you think of "Taxman," anyway? Dumbass.

Reader Comments
The most confusing band i've ever listened to...i like the album....if i think about why i hurts (Ashleigh)
It is pretty Good

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The In Sound From Way Out! - Grand Royal/Capitol 1996.
Rating = 8

This is a collection of soul instrumentals from the last two albums, along with a couple of decent new tracks thrown in in hopes that you'd buy the overpriced compilation. Even though I don't know much at all about this type of music, I'll argue the worth of this record. Split as they originally were between vocalized rap tracks on the last two albums, these mellow groove breakdowns kinda bored me, but all slung together in one big mish-mosh, I can judge 'em on their own merits, and whaddayaknow? They actually sound pretty catchy! I have no clue whether this stuff is top o' the line modern soul music or just rehashes of old classics, but it sounds pretty pleasing to my ears! Fairly interesting, too. I still can't imagine why anybody would buy it, though. I know I didn't!

Reader Comments (DOLEMITE)
The In Sound From Way Out is a great compilation of the Beastie Boys' instrumental tracks from Check Your Head and Ill Communication. The question is not why would anyone buy it; it's why wouldn't you. Just about every song has a great beat you can groove to. It seems impossible but this album details the Beastie Boys' diverse recordings about as good as anything. You get everything you could ever need for any mood you could ever have. There is the mellow sounds of "Transitions" to the rowdy pound of "Bobo on the Corner" or "POW". Is this good compared to artists specializing in the particular genre the Beasties' instrumentals fall in? That is a trick question. The Beastie Boys have their own genre where they play what they think is great music influenced by what they feel is great music. No other group really blends as many styles and influences as the Beastie Boys. This album is a definite must have if only to be your Beastie Boys entry in your collection. Trust me there is a song on this album for everyone. You'll probably even end up having to force grandma to give it after you make her listen to it!!! (DOLEMITE)
This Is An Ok Cd Not the Best Cause i'am not use to hearing them without singing.

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Hello Nasty - Grand Royal/Capitol 1998.
Rating = 8

A very, very good record. The Beasties have finally figured themselves out and brought back the FUN that was too often missing from those ornery old mature soul records they'd been putting out. This one is both old school AND new school hip hop, as well as being easily without a doubt and half a mast of potato the most diverse record they've ever done. Half the time, thanks to lots of guest vocalists, you can't even tell it's the Beasties, holy crap! There's some bachelor pad groove for those piece of shit pretentious young people who smoke cigars, some indie pop for lovers and pimply kids who work for college radio stations, some Meat Beat Manifestoey futuristic hibbidy-jibbidy (you've heard "Intergalactic," right?), some old school rhymin' and beatin' for them there who (like me!) miss Licensed To Ill, and yeah a little soul, but not much! Not much at all!

What's cool 'boutin' it? The way that, even if you hate one of the songs (and you very well may -- some of the melodies are just GOOFY!), it doesn't matter because no other songs sound like it. And a few of the lyrics are really, really funny, though they're still being pretty serious about their world concerns (which is cool... they're adults now, why fight it?). I feel I've said enough. This one is completely unlike any other Beasties record, but at the same time, it's the epitome of what some of us want to hear from them. Fun, smart, and sure it gets really slow and druggy during the second half, but them grooves, they groove! Plus the boys put together a hilarious parody of an infomercial and proceeded to place it on infomercial channels during infomercial time slots so nighttime losers like mes and yous could run across it by accident at 1:30 in the morning (I did - twice! And laughed my ais off both times!).

This is probably the highest 8 I've ever given out. I love this darn CD. Can't quite give it a 9 though. There's just too much filler.

Oh, you want some lyrics, don't you? How about this one - "I am the king of Boggle, there is none higher/I gets 11 points off the word quagmire." Ha!

Reader Comments
A damn good album! Definitely the most satisfying album purchase I've made in a while. I either liked everything immediately, or it grew on me (Save for "And Me" of course. I just can't hook on to that weird-ass melody. It makes me feel yucky.). I'm glad they decided to step-up the humor in this one. They also rap a helluva lot better, far as I'm concerned. It also seems they're moving back in the direction of the sample-happy Paul's, even to the point where their samplin' their own damned selves! Just good all around. It gets a big "9" by me, but I guess I just found a lot less to be filler than you did. (Dave Wiegel)
This was four years in the making, and I was expecting a lot of it. I wasn't disappointed; this is the Boys' best lp since Paul's Boutique and one of the best albums of the year so far (joined by Brian Wilson's Imagination and Massive Attack's Mezzanine).

Mark, as usual, is spot on. What makes it a great record is that the humor is back and no two songs sound alike. I doubt I find another album in a while that features a group of songs as diverse as "Dr. Lee, PhD", "Instant Death", "Sneakin' Out the Hospital", "Song for the Man" and "Body Movin'". It's one of those records where the switch between tracks sounds more like a flip onto a different radio station. It also helps that I love about 18 of these 22 songs, and merely like 2.

Right now I would give Hello Nasty a 9; ask me tomorrow and it may be an 8, next week another 9. I'm disheartend that many fellow Beasties fan think this a weak album, and indeed it could be 2 songs shorter, but they'll probably get into it eventually. For now, I'm happy that there's a #1, multi-platinum album that I actually enjoy--and it's 1998!
Your web site sucks. It does not do justice to the almighty beastie boys. If I had a shopping cart I would load up all your junk files and throw them off a cliff. You didn't even mention some of the import CD's they have and if you were a fan at all then you would have stolen the bullshit and had money left over for one of their overpriced imports. I've been listening to the Beastie Boys since way back. If this was my website it would be way more in depth. So ya best do ya homework if you want this homeboy to come back. Besides I've been listening to the Beastie Boys since you were just a nutstain on your mama's drawers. And don't get too ornery it's just not good for ya.
Yeah, this album pretty much kicks ass. It's funky as all hell, yet diverse. It's got more weird "bleep-blip" , "wow, wow" and "chicka chicka" sounds than ever before. But, as Mark said, there is a fair amount of filler here. "Song For The Man" and "Three MC's and One DJ" basically suck, and "Dr. Lee PhD" is one godawful mistake. But, dude. Check out the opening track, "Super disco breakin'". What a bass line. "Intergalactic" and "The Move" are awesome, and there are like 22 songs here so even if you hate five of 'em, you got 17 great other ones. It's definitely the best Beastie album I've ever heard. (salembox)
3 mc's and 1 dj is a great song. I hated the Beastie Boys back in 1986. Now, they're my favorite band. It's ironic that the most vital hip-hop crew is the most ignored in the hip-hop community. They got props from the real hip hop heads though. *Does anyone know what happened to DJ Hurricane ("Hurra")? Thanks (Scott Hutley)
You know, I'd really love to hear another Sabotage but I just don't think it's going to happen. I like this disc a lot though. Not all of it. But a good portion of it. The first three songs are excellent. I really dig Remote Control. It's like rap only it's not rap only it is but it's not. Now who wouldn't like something like that? Intergalactic is good. Three MC's is fine by me. Flowin' Prose is a complete lyric-bender. Anyone ever heard of Miho Hatori? Me either, but he sings on I Don't Know which is probably the prettiest song on here. I didn't say best, I said pretty. The Negotiation Limerick File is completely awesome. Yep, I said awesome. Back to the 80's I go. The last few songs on the disc kind of leave me hanging, but all in all, it's pretty enjoyable. Something for everybody me thinks. Something for me at least. Now if only I could have seen those goofey Informercials the Beasties ran at 3 o'clock in the morning! Now THAT would have been some fun... (Ashleigh)
Fuck Yea I waited 4 Ever for this Cd It is they ever made since Ill Communications I went to 4 concerts on their Hello Nasty Tour the are the best the coolest song on here is Putting shame in your game that is the best song check it out
I must be the only Beastie Boys fan in the world who thinks the new album is dull, but time will prove me correct. Everyone goes on about how the Beasties have "gone old school" without mentioning that they've failed, quite miserably actually, to transcend the shortcomings of the "old school" genre. Case in point: the unbelievably lame choruses that punctuate nearly every song. "One two, one two, this is just a test/ one two one two this is just...a...test"???? This from the lads who brought bohemian wordplay back to contemporary rap? This is the kind of shit they used to make fun of, and now it's what they've become. Lyrically, they just don't have a goddman thing to say, nothing at all. And so they pathetically string a bunch of one-chuckle-and-I'm-out puns together. Give me a break. And to top it off, their rapping is laughable. Allegedly MCA told the other two while they were recording that he didn't want to rap anymore; they should have listened to him. That Lenny Kravitz soundalike that he sings is, sadly, the best tune on the album. None of this should take away from the accomplishments of Check Your Head or Paul's, but it's true. Why doesn't everybody just admit it? (David Wilson)
I'm sorry to inform you, but you are a giant moron. Only a person of such a low intellect is not able to see the genius behind The Beastie Boys. The stories they tell hold meaning behind the comical lyrics. How dare you think that you have the right to critique the greatest group this world has ever seen. (Heather Wilson)
Hello Nasty is THe first Beastie boys cd I've listened to, but reading your page makes me wanna go out and buy more.... thanks for all the info I love these guys, and this cd has to be like, the best cd I have ever got.
Obviously album sales from the new Beastie's album will prove you wrong...I really hate people who criticize others who are a hell of alot more sucessful then they are. (Valued Acer Customer)
Why don't you learn about he Beasties foe you start cappin on 'em, you lousy bum. You suck worse than anything i've cum across, and i've cum across a lot of faces and i'll be sure to get your girlfriend you punk muther f!@#$%.
I think anyone that thinks any of the albums are pointless should be shot. You have to look at the big picture. The next time you sit down to a Beastie Boys album think about the overall "Beastie Boys Experience," and you will have nothing to complain about. Believe me.
I first got into the Beastie Boys when i heard "Sabotage" then even more when i heard "Intergalactic", I always thought that rappers weren't good and I never liked rap until I heard them. I've started to collect their cd's and I think anyone who doesn't like them shot be shot in the face with an elephant gun!
Classic Beastie Boys and a great album. However, many tracks sound like they got the music from the Hanson brothers or something! Stick to the hardcore rap or get out already.......

What? I am going to hear 5 great Beastie Boys songs mixed in with 12 Bee Gee ripoffs on their next album. (Setzer Bond)
I'm what you would call a hard core Beastie fan, and of all of their tunes that I've heard, I gotta say that "Sure Shot" is the most toe tappinest tune they got. Don't get me wrong about Ill Communication, I can't get enough of Liscenced to Ill (esp. Fight For.., No Sleep.., and Rhymin'...) or Hello Nasty (esp. Intergalactic, Unite, and Just A Test), but if it weren't for Sure Shot and Sabotage, this album would be way, WAY too bogged down with their far too heavy soul tunes, ie. Ricky's Theme. I think that Paul's Boutique is the superior CD by far the superior.

Hello Nasty, however, I believe to be their crowning achievement, combining goofiness, seriousness, very nice beats, more up-beat insturmentals, and more pollish than a shoe shiner's convention. I like their solo efforts as well, but I gotta agree with you, MCA going from "And if you're unaware, I carry a gun" to "I don't like to fight, I don't carry a piece" and in the transition becoming a walking Bhuddist pamphlet is a little over the deep end (no offence Ghandi).
I think the beasties have been most successful and they proved all who doubted them wrong! They don't have to be defended by myself or anyone else their record sales prove that they are very talented "white boy rappers" so all of you who thought they wouldn't go anywhere sorry but you were wrong!
ok, the beastie boys are rappers who have found the light by going to the dhali lama and all that stuff.. i think that is great of them, and you dude, you must not know that much of the beastie boys, cause all you keep saying are... LIES (B-boy)
I'm from Montreal and i found an album called Rare Track and Beast from the Beastie Boys with Bruce Lee on the Cover. It's a importation. and it's really good. Many songs we know but in another version. Sorry for my bad english! (Michael J. Mawn)
I first want to say that the Beastie Boys are the greatest band that ever walked the earth. Adam Horowitz is the bomb diggity. He is the hottest thing I have ever laid my eyes upon. I am 13, and I have been a Beastie fan since I was 6, so I figure I must know something. All of you strange people who think that the last two songs shouldn't be on the cd, I think you should probably shove it. The whole album, in it's intirety, is excellent. But then again, there isn't one B-Boy album that is bad!
Check your heads, MTV muthafuckers!! All you complete 100% waterproof idiots jumping at Mark Richardson's throat like rabid dogs make me fuckin' sick. Why are you Beastie's fans anyway. You are not worthy. This band is about communication (be it ill or whatever) and understanding, and what else is Richardson doing but expressing his point. Fact is, he has one.

What actually made me a devotee of the 3some and dance in my room while checking my head (I know these artists since their HC days, by the way...)was: Wow, what's that!!??! What are they doing now, these crazy flames of spirituality using fat trax, sonic speed tunes and deep grooves as means to make people believe?! Yeah that's right, these guys used to re-invent themselves with every record they made. You had to expect the unexpected, but now... They still are the Boys, but... let's face it, they've started lookin' like their own parody. Yea, I know the truth hurts, and all you suckers heatin' up while reading this are too blind anyway. The Boys might have matured as individuals, but still tryin' to act like them old school rockers is a bit ridiculous... Okay let's wait for the next record, I give 'em one more chance. They deserve it.
RELAX, now take a deep breath
thats better
My rymes are like pringles when they pop they cant stop
keep the party like this you know they call the cops.

Thats my boys og original sheettt
so all you mofo who dont like can go directly to ellll!!!
BBoys are the lyrical mystros of white boy rapp!!
All love yo!!
ST signing out!!!!!
ST I aint know wanna be!!!
hello nasty is one of my favorite albums and i feel i should hold it dear because, it is after all, the one that introduced me to the boys. i caught that Beastiography thing mtv did last year and went right out and got hello nasty. the first time i listened to it i loved almost every song ( i don't know, and me, the move and instant death took awhile but finally grew on me) the only song i really don't listen to is Dr. lee p.h.d. the instrumentals are kinda cool although song for jr. is a little tiresome. the thing about the beastie that alot of people don't seem to get is that they are people , sometimes people change ( who am i kidding? people change all the time) . are any of you the same way that you were in 1986? maybe the reason i can accept the obivious changes that the beasties have made because i am only 15 and have not been a fan from the beginning. some of you act like they cannot make a bad song, i mean come on! they may be good but no one,NO ONE, is that good. true i have never come across a bboy album that remotely sucked, but i will admit that they peaked with paul's and check your head ( i refuse to choose between the two). well they peaked as artist, at least. as people they are still changing and growing and i don't care what any of you time warped 80's teens say so far they have only changed for the better. so why don't you guys either appriceate them or hate them because personally i don't think you can be in the middle when it comes to the beasties. by the way has anyone heard that song by LFO that uses a line from "the new style"? whatcha ya'll think about that?
Somebody wrote that "Hello Nasty" sucked, and that, er, time would lend credence to his views. Don't think so, mister. Six years on and this record still kicks, not only the best record of the, uhh, "mature" phase of the Beastie Boys' career but one of the best albums of the late '90s, period. I think it's my second favorite Beastie Boys record behind "Paul's Boutique," (I know Licensed to Ill is a classic and all - and "Paul Revere" is my favorite Beastie Boys song ever - but its old-school minimalism can make for an occasionally tedious listen for someone like myself who grew up in the Nineties) and indeed this was a major success for the three upper middle class Jewish boys from Brooklyn: it sold 4 million copies and spawned their first top 40 hit in a decade, "Intergalactic". I can understand complaints about inconsistency - the dozen rap songs could stand alone without all the excess - but hey, this is how the Beasties do it, the only tracks that fail completely are the three tacked on at the end of the CD (including a perfunctory "Thank You" list and a collaboration with reggae lunatic Lee Perry that goes nowhere), and the great songs are so great, so inventive, rich, playful, witty and wise that they bulldoze over any of the various minor mishaps. Try and find a rap CD with better beats (ok, I'll give you "Paul's Boutique", an Ice Cube record I don't have and maybe something by Public Enemy) or another contemporary group so willing to expand and enrich the vocabulary of modern popular music. "Hello Nasty" is the record that proves the Beasties can do it without the help of a Rick Rubin or Dust Brothers silently working the magic behind those terminally snotty voices - almost all of the beats were put together by Ad-Rock, cribbed from not just kitschy samples but loops of the group's own jam sessions - and if the new record, "To the Five Boroughs" already feels like a misstep, that just proves they're mortal like everyone else. A big fat 9, inconsistencies be damned.
Being a big Pauls Boutique fan, when i first listened to Hello Nasty i was hugely dissapointed. It sounded like some piss they made whilst holidaying on a tropical island. I had visions of the B-Boys sitting around on the beach, sipping martinis and catching a sun tan, laughing about how much money they were gonna make!.

So anyway i only listened to it about 5 times and then put it away. Then one day i got a new sound system installed in my car (VW Corrado by the way) and i thought i'd try out a few cd's that should have a reasonable amount of bass....(just to see what it sounded like - im not a bass freak with back to front baseball caps with a 16yr old girlfriend - i loath those people.....just wanted to test the speakers....).

So anyway i put on Hello Nasty and made sure i put it on "Random" (putting this album on "Random" is the key by the way cos theres these strange tropical, fruity, martini and coconut spells that could very well start to grind your nerves) and was soon blown away and loving it! This wasn't just some mindless piece of crud that the Boys put together one sunny afternoon in the flip flops after all! I had seriously mis-judged this...The difference it made by 1. listening to it on great bassy speakers and 2. putting it on random was immense!! Do NOT underestimate those two points if like me you didn't like it this at first. To sum it up, the silky smooth chocolatey bass mixed with the fruity, juicy tropicalness makes this a sure fire Beastie Boys hit!!!!! 9 out or 10 !
An acid causality who makes noise records gave me this album because I made him a delicious stirfry that warmed his heart. It was in my car's cd player for months. I took on a 4 hour car trip up and down I-95 and listened to only to the hardcore hip hop songs because those were the only ones I found to be passable. To its credit "Unite" did keep me awake.

I listened to the four songs I deemed worthy for another weeks or so and then broke the cd in half in a rage. Subsequently I've made guitar picks outta it. I'll give the album a two for it's function in my life. Had I payed for it I would be less magnanimous.
I remember when I first heard this album:

I was in 7th grade, and I NEVER listened to music. That all changed one day when my sister's ex-boyfriend left a copy of Hello Nasty in my CD player (which I never used.) I listened to this album once, then twice, over and over because it was the only music I owned, until I had listined to it hundreds of times. Over five years later now, I still consider it one of my favorite albums ever recorded. Maybe it was due to the fact that it was the album what really got me into music, but my heart will always hold a special place for Hello Nasty.

I think this album is not for alot of people, who tend to consider annoying or even childish, but Mark and I know better than that. This is a really diverse album that really establishes the Beastie Boys as great musicians. Dig it.

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Live Reading 29 August 1998 - Bootleg 1998.
Rating = 9

Some concert bootlegs have crappy sound quality. This one sounds like The Beasties are playing in your heinieroom. Some concert bootlegs are ripoffs. This one follows up the thirteen-song concert with eight bonus tracks, some of which are live, some remixes and a couple of rare tunes that'll kick your ass (especially "Mike D's Theme," one of the most hideously tacky and hilarious songs they've ever recorded!). Some concert bootlegs show that the band is less gooder in a live setting than they is in the studio. This one shows that the Beasties are even BETTER live than in the studio -- they are SO FORKING EXCITED!!! Yelling and screaming and playing their hearts out, especially on a dissonant runthrough of "Sabotage" that smashes the crapola out of the flaccid and undeservedly popular studio version. Some bootlegs cost a lot. This one does too. So that's the question you'll have to ask yourself. How much is too much? I just borrowed it from a friend and copied it. But that's me. I'm a thug that way. If you know Jeff Tammes, feel free to borrow it from him. Otherwise, just trust me that they're really good live. At least at THIS show they were.
Reader Comments (Don Fulcher)
yeah its pretty good i think. i like hearing them live my favorite songs on it is . time to get ill. and heart attack man. they really get me pumped up. so does time time for livin. but i just want to say. uh well i guess i said it. but if your a hardcore beastiefan email me at
hey mark -

why not do some research on the beastie boys? (MC imagine)
i respect your opinion on them, but i love the beasties, but first things first, if your gonna talk shit on them, you should know the real story behind them, not what you know by just looking at them. if you hate them so much, why do u have a section about them? do you think its entertainment to put people down, because of their skin color, well in my opinion you seem very shallow and possibly racist.

The beastie boys create music for people not just one race, so before you talk your shit, research on them, and try to understand. no one said u had to like them. but respect would be nice. so if you would do me a big favor and figure out info, before you label it as the story or as true info, i would appreciate that emensly.

another thing: mike D. was the original beastie boy in there punk era, while adam horovitz was in his own band at the time called"the young and the useless" i'm telling you this so u can get your shit straight before you talk shit. but in my opinion you need to open your eyes and relize no matter what color you are hip hop is open to everyone. so dont talk shit. *~peace~*
I just read your crappy Beastie Boys reviews just explain to me what you mean by "Break dance music"? is this a reference to hip hop?
I'm not even much of a Beastie Boys fan, but for some reason I decided to read the contents of your reviews. The replies on this page have got to be the most ignorant I've ever heard. The funniest is the "hardcore fan" who got pissed because there are no imports reviewed. Then there's the people who simply hate anyone who doesn't like the Beastie Boys. The funniest is parthakk's response to the Same Old Bullshit review with his expletive ridden, street slangin tirade. I don't know about those rap fans... (Kevin J. Fitzgerald)
ha! this page rocks! from the good reviews to the even better responces...the racial issue was great just because nobody had much else to say. they make good cd's...some are odd ass shiot while others are the usual most people are used to...but in all honesty, there not the best band in the world and there not bad cause there white and thats all i have to say. oh yeah, the sounds of science 2cd set is really good if your just getting into them...a 4LP set is coming out for about 135$ if your that into um.
The Wufs are a great band. Go buy an album by the Wufs
The Beastie Boyz is the coldest .I love their music.They got the beats to make you move and want to dance.Their lyrics are off the hook. Don't hate on them because they lyrics are unbelievable and sweet.I love them with all my heart and I'm African American.See race doesn't matter.They are doing their thing and thats all that matters.They are better than half these Black artist outhere.So I mean ,Whats the deal.

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Anthology: The Sounds Of Science - Capitol 1999
Rating = 9

Look here's my Adam Yauch from the big booklet that accompanies this double-CD, talking about "Pass The Mic": "But the thing I always liked best about this cut was the sample of the intro to the Bad Brains song 'I'."

Look here's me: "Yeah, if by 'I,' you mean 'Big Takeover,' you FUCKEN IDIOT.

Okay you're not a fucken idiot. But the song you sampled is "Big Takeover," not "I," so you may want to correct that somewhere if you haven't already. Mr. Yauch.

Otherwise, this cd is taking less shorts than a shorts-taking machine. Assholes neglected to tell me that there are 16 non-LP songs on here (48 minutes) so here I am in late 2006 finally getting around to reviewing it like an asshole. First of all, they should have included "No Sleep Til Brooklyn" instead of "Song For The Man." "No Sleep Til Brooklyn" was all over MTV for 7 or 8 years, and "Song For The Man" was composed and recorded by little piles of sperm at Penn Station. Thirdly, every other song from the lPs (greatest hits wise) kicks ass!!! It has 6 song seach from Check Your Bed and Bill's Communication, 4 from Hey that's Nasty, 3 each from Licensed, Bill and Paul's Boutique and 2 each from Piles Of Old Horseshit and Aglio & Olio. So if you ever wanted to hear everything of which the Beastie Boys were/are capable, here's your chants!

The non-LP material is really good too, rating a low 8 on the Richter scale including kickass hard rock chords single "She's On It" (catchy as HELL!!!), a couple of funny country-western songs, a live one, a remix, an early version one, a few new ones that are old school rap, thus pointing the way towards Hey You Jeff Burroughs and also things. Jokes and Biz Markie singing "Benny And The Jets" (no Beastie Boys involved, as far as I can tell). But also a Latin song and early funniness, and some rap music, like teh beastie boys play.

Today is Thanksgiving, I'm enjoying the world's spirits, and FUCK YOU for killing my dog, you PIECE OF SHIT. He's still alive, but I see what you're planning. There's a booklet where they discuss every single song and that's cool. They claim "Fight For Your Right To Party" was a joke that Rick Rubin took too far. But there's also a song about fucking old people. Literally FUCKING them! And one about a fight at a Japanese restaurtant, one about basketball, one about pblll. One with a train whistle. In all concludingness, even if you have all their albums already, you need to buy this for the 48 nubte4s mbiube minutes of non-LP material like "Dub The Mic," which is a dub version of "Pass The Mic," a song wherein they sample the intro to the Bad Brains' "bUG TAJEVIER,: Bt the hits are so grae - "GET IT TOGETHER," "BRASS MONKEY," "INTERGALACTIC," "HEY LADIES," "SO WHATCHA WANT," "BEASTIE BOYS," "BELIEVE ME." There are hits out hte lofg Dvd IRE beiei Theye! Beekslsll! B! Also, happy ThanksFUCKYOU for giving me dog a kidney problem!!

Reader Comments (Mike Harras)
When this came out, I was disappointed it didn't include "Desperado" a song they performed on Tougher Than Leather. A film featuring the B-Boys, Slick Rick, soundbytes of Public Enemy & Danzig, and starring Whodini. Anybody know if the entire "Desperado" song is out there someplace?

Other than that good retrospective. Because now they just content to rap like MC Shan.
I bought this when it came out...I was a 13 year old kid who loved "Intergalactic" and the album "Hello Nasty", and I thought the new single "Alive" was pretty cool, but what I really wanted was the remix of "Body Movin'" by Fatboy Slim. They played the video on MTV once and it was AWESOME! Seven years later, I can't think of an anthology that was done better. All the hits, some of the best (and most interesting album tracks), old pre-Liscened to Ill tracks, plenty of B-sides, remixes, and a new song! The booklet was pretty cool too...I love how they admit that "Intergalatic" is actually pretty stupid. Anyone new to the band should get it, and no longtime fan should be without it!!
Essential. I wish more groups put this much effort into their anthologies. By "effort", of course, I mean "willingness to think beyond a mere greatest hits or chronological summary, and enough creative spark to let it stand on its own." Also, if it weren't for this anthology, I would have never thought to seek out the Aglio E Olio EP. I'd always wished they put more hardcore songs on their albums - then I found out they released a whole EP of them! (I'm not a fan of rap, though the Beasties are charismatic enough to win me over). Hearing all their different stylistic experiments mixed together really shows what an eclectic group the Beasties were (are?).

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Demos And Outtakes - Alley Kat
Rating = 7

I keep reading all these reviews saying, "Hey, the new Beastie Boys album is old-school" and "Hey, the new Beastie Boys album sounds like old rap" and "Hey, the new Beastie Boys album isn't a musical progression; it's a regression." Well, DUHHHH! Why do you think it's called Demos And Outtakes (and NOT Hats Off To The Five Boroughs or whatever everybody keeps calling it for some reason), dumbass? This is all old material! It's not new! It's old! Why did you think it was new? It's old! Does it look new? No, it doesn't! Because it's old!

I'll never forget how jealous my mom was of the Beastie Boys back in the mid-'80s. She would always bust in and say, "What's that noise?" And I would reply, "Aw mom, you're just jealous; could you get me a Pepsi?" But she wouldn't give it to me! All I wanted was a Pepsi! Later, I learned that we didn't have any Pepsi at the time, and felt rather silly about the nervous breakdown. I guess I just had (heh heh, here comes a good one) "suicidal tendencies"!!!!! (heh heh, wait, here it comes).

(oh, i guess that was it.)

Whatcha whatcha whatcha want (whatcha want) to know, I'd bet, is what exactly is on this CD so cleverly entitled Demos And Outtakes. It's all early stuff, I guarantee you that. Nothing newer than Paul's Boutique. The first eight tracks are hardcore punk songs from the Polly Wog Stew EP. These are also available on Some Old Bullshit, so you probably don't need them, but they're there nonetheless. After that, we move on to the Beastie Men's earliest rap experiences, recorded when they all sounded about eleven years old. Regardless of their tender age, tender breasts and high voices, they were born to perform high-speed rap and do so aplenty in such slightly listenable "old school" numbers as "Rock Hard" (based on the riff to AC/DC's "Back In Black") and "Beastie Groove" (based on the riff to a song with no music) before dragging you by the longtails to the first GREAT song they would record -- the pre-"Fight For Your Right" simple-hard-rock/rap excitement of "She's On It." Things dovetail from there into a bunch of instrumental versions of Paul's Boutique classics, interesting even without words! Finally, we wrap up our little visit to Oldland with a hilarious sleaze jazz freestyle by Mike D (performed through a magical "slow down my voice" device), an acapella dirty rap performed into a cheap tape recorder, a surprisingly disturbing apocalyptic noise collage and an 11-minute X-rated story being read by some moron little kid who can barely read.

As for my opinion - well fuckity doo dah, it's just a bunch of demos and outtakes. Some of 'em are great, some of 'em are easily available elsewhere, some of 'em are pointless toss-to-towns. There's certainly no continuity at all between the different segments - hardcore punk has nothing in common with their Run-DMCy early raps, which have nothing to do with the instrumental Paul's Boutique tracks (probably because they were created by the DUST Brothers, not the Beastie Boys), which have nothing to do with the joke raps, noise collage and boring, endless adult tale that end the collection. But that's the nature of demos and outtakes: they're not good enough to be album tracks, but they have a dissonant charm and warm naivete all their own.

On a more important note, my throat hurts. And NO, that's NOT an REM reference, so tell Bill Berry's lawyers to LAY OFF. My throat honestly does hurt; I hope I'm not getting sick. The last thing I need is some flu ruining my hot weekend of relaxation.

I got obsessed with cheap horror movies for a couple of days earlier this week. Went on and ordered like ten of them. Real winners like Squirm, The Last House On The Left, Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, Brain Dead, Candyman, Uncle Sam, The People Under The Stairs, Halloween H2O and Videodrome. Do you know of any other thrillers or horror movies I should look for cheap? Tell me. TELL ME! But don't say Piranha or Dark Night Of The Scarecrow because I'm already looking for those. And don't say The Aliens Are Coming, Bug, Rollerball, Westworld or The Car because I already have those. And don't say Sister Act because I said "horror movies," not "horrid movies."

Also, on an entirely related note: a lot of adults are immature assholes. Especially politicians. Listen to the nonsense Bush and Kerry say about each other and try to tell me it sounds one INCH more intelligent than a couple of 8th grade girls insulting each other. It's a pathetic state of affairs, and I'm not saying that to bash the U.S. People are like this everywhere. Just moron assholes acting like little babies.

Also, on a note perfectly on par with the other notes I've made here: my earliest reviews are short and really bad. Poorly written, unfunny, undescriptive -- worthless. Others are just so grotesquely obscene, they're nearly impossible to read. I should really take a few months to fix up all the lousy old reviews (Ramones, AC/DC except the bootlegs, Rush, etc), but my mind is so constantly on MOVIN' FORWARD that I don't want to take time to remedy my past errors. Especially since I'm doubtless creating PRESENT errors as I stand here pissing on your pant leg.

Come on, I was using a metaphor.

Well yeah, I WAS literally pissing on your pant leg, but when I MENTIONED it, I meant it as a metaphor for something else.

Okay, it's time to go home from work. What a productive day I've had!

Reader Comments
you should really check out re-animator,evil dead 2,and the first two hellraisre movies
Hey, I'm still waiting for the Bad Brains,freeze or Cro-mags reviews. Also, check out a movie called "Demons". It's a Italian 80's horror flick with a ass kicking sountrack. Great flick. If you haven't seen it already. Also "Wizard of Gore" and "Microwave Massacre" are classic....Back to music..Have you heard Old Lady Drivers, from New Jersey. They are not around anymore but they were one intense band. Check 'em if you can find it. Later art.

Hunter is once again I, Hunter, here to delightful with tales of vomit and licorice. I noticed on your Beastie Boys review that you wan't cheesy horror movies. Well, Senior Prindle (or as us worm blud'd American's call you, Senior Prindle), I can recomend you some stuff. Check out any of the movies that the Misfits wrote songs about. I've seen a couple, but plenty look good. These include: Astro Zombies, Horror Hotel, Them!, and keyley, The Abombinal Dr. Phibes. I know, some of those are off of the new "crappy" album (I liked it though), but The Abombinal Dr. Phibe's kicks total ass. It has Vincent Price in it, and it is krak krunk, Prin Dog. Also check out some of Vincen't other work, such as The Pit and the Pengelum, etc. You can get these great two for one bargan dvd's, that have 2 kool movies for the price of half of one shitty movie nowadys. We got a couple for 10$ new at Boarders, and I can only imagine it'll be less on half. Titles to look out for include the Vincent Price set, which includes both "A house on Haunted Hill" (a classic, it's like, 35 years old and still scares the shit outta me), and "Last Man on Earth", not as good, but still an excelent Price flick were he battle's vampires in an apocolypetic world. Great, great set. Then another 2 for one DVD would be The Night of The Living Dead/Dementia set. Night of the Living Dead is a horror standert, and needs no intro, but I'll give you one anyway, because I love to hear my key board tap. Tap tap tap...I love it....anyway, Night of The Living Dead is the classic zombie flick with a shoestring budget, that basically set the standert for all zombie movies to come...creepy, eery, and everything else that a good B movie should be. Except this aint no B grade in quality kind sir...this be a straight A. But enough about my improv Blue's writings...on to the other movie. The other movie is Dementia, about a psychotic stalker who's killing people off at a manner. Honestly, it's not so hot compared to Night of the Living Dead, but still enjoyable, and fun. Some other movies to check to out include "Return of Dr. Phibes" (if you get it, be sure to buy the first one and watch it won't regret it), Horror Express, and Return of the Living Dead, a horror punk standart. It ain't no "Night of the Living Dead", but for an 80s make over, not bad charlie...not bad at all. So there you have it. A nice chunk of recomendage. Isnt life a blast now? It's just like, living in the past...oh, and if you wanna buy any of these, you can go down town to go shopping...if you live in suberbia...just joking. When I joke, I say ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, oh ho hoh ho ho ho ho ho, eh he he he he he he, ah ha ha ha ha ha ha...


ok, you're right. That wasn't the least bit funny. But I had to stick Flipper lyrics in there somewere...Steven Depace and beat my bloated leather sack, by the way. (Julian McElhatton)
Mr Prindle,

You gotta see Dawn Of The Dead, Cannibal Holocaust (make sure itís the uncut turtle-hacking version), Bay Of Blood/Twitch Of The Death Nerve, Humanoids From The Deep & Mannequin On The Move, though I suspect you may be too pussy to endure the horrors of the last film. Donít worry, I canít either.


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To The 5 Boroughs - Capitol 2004
Rating = 6

You can't expect a wife and her husband to agree on everything. For example, I think "3 The Hard Way" sounds like a listless old Run-DMC filler track, but it's one of her favorites on here. For another example, I get a major goddamned kick out of the uptempo, catchy, happy, bubblegum-rap "The Brouhaha" and weird electronic swishy "Crawlspace" and she finds them - and I quote - "Kinda boring." But that's the nature of human beings. We all have different histories, different expectations, different beliefs and different needs. I'm going to start over. Hey! Do any of you know why my cursor turns into a discouraging colorful grid if I leave the computer on for too long? Here's my review:

The Beastie Boys. White men, yet professionals in a field dominated by the black man. Race is EVERYTHING and we ARE differently colored on the inside so this is important to note. Now me, I love black people, yellow people and even big-nosed fuckin' world-ru

That wasn't a review. Here's a review. Since the beginning, the Beastie Boys have been AHEAD of the rap game. Licensed, Bill was METAL and WHITEBOY HUMOR added to rap (wild! new!), Paul's Boutique blew all our minds with its ahead-of-its-time insanity of nonstop samples and cop pulture references, Bring Out Your Dead added INSTRUMENTS and SOUL MUSIC to the rap sound, Ill Communication was kinda lame, then they did a PUNK album (nobody had ever done a punk album ever!) and Hello Nasty was all over the awesome place with reggae, sci-fi synth effects, indie rock songs and just all kinds of wonderful, colorful backing! However, on this release, the Beastie Boys are going for "old school," apparently attempting to imitate what rap music sounded like BEFORE Licensed To Ill. The lyrics are almost ALL basic rap boasting (though a few of the tracks are hilarious), along with a few out-of-the-blue (on the wings of a dove, a messenger comes with the beating of drums, it's not a message of love - That was for all you David Gilmour solo album fans out there! This is a shoutout to all of you, my brothers! You know what? It takes a fight to start a fight/When differences remain/We make the rule/Bemoan the rule/WE'RE ADDICTS FEIGNING SHAME!/But love recalled is love reborn and we're determined to relive the pain/BUT THEN ALL LOVERS ARE DERANGED!

You know what? It really blows that I'll never get the chance to interview David Gilmour or Robert Plant or any of those big-name artists that I've loved my whole life. (frowns) At least I get to speak to lesser-known people I've loved forever though. That's something! That's something to cherish! Do you realize what a huge Vehemence fan I've been since I was 3? And don't even get me STARTED on that fuckin' pathetic "40 Grit" piece of shit band! Loved 'em FOREVER AND A DAY!

Old school rapping over minimal music, like Run-DMC (featuring the late, great Jam Master Jay, may his spirit rest in peace, the poor man) and early Public Enemy (featuring the living, of-questionable-intelligence Professor Griff, may his spirit rest in anti-semitism). It's basically like the first album without the heavy metal and humor. The production is stronger though! I can't even play Licensed To Drive An Automobile on my turntable without that godawful bass tone making the speakers distort. But so many of these songs are just DULL! Why are they talking about NYC so much when they haven't lived here in 400 years? Is it possible to be TOO "old school"? Look only to the slow minimal "Rhyme The Rhyme Well," the dull nothing going on "Shazam!" or the ugly, ugly "We Got The" for proof. And I ain't talkin' about a geometry proof! Am I? Hell, I don't even know anymore. But I do know ONE thing - there's a bump on my ballsac. I squeezed it last night while watching Screamers and blood came out. Is that good? Does that mean I won the lottery? The Bloody Ball Sac Lottery of New York/New Jersey? Speaking of which, how about that crooked governor they've got over there?

This is the first time EVER that the Beasties have purposely tried to sound like everyone else (did in 1983). Half of the time, the electronic background noises or bass samples are interesting and fun enough to ride it through (me? trax 1,2,7,10,12,13,14 -- but again, my wife disagrees!). The rest of the time, it's just like, "You're joking me right? It's 2004! What are you doing, re-recording the first LL Cool J album?" If the point is to focus on the WORDS, why not make them more interesting? Granted, SOME of them are beyond wonderful. Here, I'll share examples:

Okay, I may have been mistaken. I just tried desperately to find a funny couplet for you but they all SUCKED. So I'll pick a few out at random so you can see how lazy the Beatsie Beatsie Beatsie Boys have become since becoming the Buddhist, the other guy and the other guy. RANDOM COUPLETS:


"Hate-filled people wanna keep us in check. Tearin' down each other is what they expect."

"When it comes to panache, I can't be beat/I got the most style from below 14th street"

OOH! I LIKE THIS ONE!!! "So here's a match, my ass and your face/Listen when I tell you dog; I'M IN YOUR CRAWL SPACE.

One more at random: "You're out of phase and my crew's amazin'/We're working on the record yo so stay patient."

Too many paragraph breaks.

All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!
All work and no play makes the U.S. economy improve dramatically. Buy American!

Final comments: Old school with a few hints of wonderful grace and fun delight and just wonderful, GREAT rap music. But too much of it is so old school and empty, it's almost like you're just listening to three guys talking over a beat.


Reader Comments (Julian McElhatton)
Canít believe you missed this doozy when you were listing shit couplets from this LP:

ďGeorge W ainít got nothiní on me/We got to take the power away from he.Ē

Thanks, boys, that really helps. Hey Mark, you know the way Reagan was famous for being straight man to a chimp in them Bonzo films? Isnít it great that just 15 years after his presidency, an actual chimp could be president of the US? He may have helped tear the Iron Curtain down, but why has nobody given him credit for creating opportuinities for unevolved primates? Just thinking how a creature that would normally spend itís life pulling nits out of his balls & having unsightly nipples can now become leader of the free world makes me wonder why Reagan hasnít been put on Mount Rushmore yet. Or, at the very least, under it. (John Murphy)
The gargonzola, the provolone, don't even get me started on this microphone Beasties are a victim of their own success a la A Tribe Called Quest 5 Boroughs is a tight, focused hip hop record - bottom line If you aren't into hip hop you aren't going to appreciate stripped down beats w/ minimal production Bboys still drop the science, unfortunately alot of it takes people years to acknowledge. (Mike K.)
taped off this off my sister (ha! take that, newfangled copy protection technology!), and I more or less agree with the 6, maybe a generous 7. Beats range from "so old school-ish they're fun" to "so old school-ish they're boring", and the lyrics only have a couple of winners in the sea of groaners (I like how "Right Right Now Now" references "Party For Your Right To Fight" by Public Enemy, considering that song itself is of course a reference to "Fight For Your Right To Party", but in the same song we also get "columbine bowlin'/childhood stolen/ we need a lot more gun controllin'" among other lyrical atrocities). Really even if the political nods weren't as poorly written they'd still seem a bit stilted between lines about provalone cheese and Mr. Furley from Three's Company. Still, singles "Ch-Ch-Check It Out" and "The Three" are fun, as are "Oh Word" (mainly for that robot voice announcing whose verse is coming up) ! and "The Brouhaha". And "We Got The" is pretty ugly, but the ending samples "They Punctured My Yolk" by the Flaming Lips! It startled the hell out of me when I figured out why that sped up "...and power is the thing" bit they kept looping sounded so familiar.

In barely-related news, I passed by the "new releases" section of an overpriced record store recently, and the new Jimmy Buffett album is entitled Licensed To Chill. Yes, really. With a cover photo of him "chilling" on a porch with a conspicuously new coat of paint on it like he's shilling for Sherwyn Willams or something.
I've only kinda listened to the whole thing a couple of times, so I don't really don't what I'm talking about. 1st I gotta say Ch-Check It Out is pretty damn irrisisitble, great to listen to, a damn fun track. I don't remember much more of the album................. but I remember there are a LOT of "phat beats" and as always there's some (not as much as like Hello Nasty) really catchy samples. I actually really liked the album so far........... I know I'll get tired of the political ones though, they are, I'm sorry, pretty lame. SO much better than what most other artists could pull off.
Which album is "Fun fun fun" on?

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The Mix-Up - Capitol 2007
Rating = 4

I'm not sure whether the Beastie Boys intended for this CD to be taken as an honest artistic effort or a time-filling stopgapper (its misleading title suggests the latter), but either way The Mix-Up represents a wasted opportunity. They took what could have been very strong musical accompaniment to a rap album, and released it as a bunch of instrumentals. I'm not prejudiced against the concept of the Beastie Boys releasing an instrumental album, but this particular collection of instrumentals sounds like background music! Nearly all of the songs are driven by a single riff played on a single instrument -- with the other musicians underplaying so severely, it's as if they're terrified that a bit of counterpoint or interplay might destroy all that they've worked so hard to create.

The band features Michael "Mike D" Diamond on drums, Adam "King Ad-Rock" Horowitz on guitars, Adam "MCA" Yauch on horizontal and upright basses, Mark "Prindle" Nishita on Clavinet, Rhodes & Farfisa, and Alfredo Ortiz on percussion. In general, the music mines the same gold ore as their previous work in the instrumentals kingdom (Stax/Volt soul-funk), but with a wider variety of influences and moods than you might expect. For example, "14th St. Break" is driven by a '60s fuzz guitar lick, while "Suco De Tangerina" is a "Walking On The Sun"-style spy-thriller, "Off The Grid" toys with psych blues-rock (and a stolen "96 Tears" riff), "Dramastically Different" whips out the Latin soul (with a sitar, from the sounds of it! Nobody's credited with 'sitar' though, so maybe my ears are lying), and the album's finest and most surprising track "The Gala Event" plants the Boystie Bees in the realm of eerie Pink Floyd space-rock -- like the "Gratitude" video come home to roost!

And again, all of these songs would sound great with The Beastie Boys rapping on top of them. People would be all like, "Dude, the new Beastie Boys album is them rapping on top of all this cool music they're playing by themselves!" But, aside from "The Gala Event," none of this music is developed fully enough to stand on its own. Every song leads to comments like "Great dark bass line!!! And, umm... one keyboard chord. And I guess that'd be the guitar going 'wicka wicka wicka'." Or "Killer fiery organ riff!!! And, umm... a bass playing one note. And I guess that'd be the guitar playing two notes over and over again." Which is fine if it's background music -- think of how dull an instrumental version of "Sabotage" would be, for example -- but on its own, it all just sounds half-written.

And that's why I'm questioning their motives here. By not adding vocals to the songs, they've purposely ghettoized the disc into their "not a real Beastie Boys album" catalog (also featuring Aglio Y Olio, Some Old Bullshit, The In Sound From Way Out, etc). And in so doing, they have effectively freed themselves from all critique. When the History Of The Beastie Boys is written, this album will not be considered the successor to To The 5 Boroughs -- their next rap album will be. And Goddamn It, that's a COP-OUT! Or rather -- okay, either they seriously thought that this stuff was strong enough to be released instrumentally (and are thus either seriously stoned or seriously overestimating their musical abilities), or they were afraid it was too weak to provide the bedding for a "real" Beastie Boys album. In either case, I respectfully disagree.

Sorry I don't have anything funny to say. I'm really tired. Who knew alcohol was a depressant!?

Reader Comments
Their best line ever has got to be "Droppin' science like Gallileo dropped the orange" Now if I could only remember which track it was from....

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Hot Sauce Committee Part Two - Capitol 2011
Rating = 6

And it's another long-awaited disappointment from the Beastie Boys. I don't mean to sound like a dick, but I think these guys are pretty much creatively spent. They had seven years to work on this album -- Christ, it's only the second hip-hop album they've released in the last 13 years! -- and this is the best they could come up with!? It doesn't even have a unified sound like all their other albums, instead spilling forth a confused mess of To The 5 Boroughs-style old school rap, Hello Nasty-esque musicality, and weird noise blasts reminiscent of classic Public Enemy. It's this third type of song that's the most intriguing; I don't think the Beasties have ever rapped atop noisescapes as disconcerting and disorienting as those of "Too Many Rappers," "Long Burn The Fire," "Say It," "Crazy Ass Shit" and "Tadlock's Glasses." If they'd carried this dark and bizarre mood over the entire album, it would've been a striking departure well worth the wait. Instead, the industrial noise blasts are just one aspect of a poorly sequenced and inconsistent work.

The record certainly starts strong, with buzz-synthed single "Make Some Noise" bringing back fond memories of Hello Nasty good times. But then it immediately loses steam with the brutally repetitive old schooler "Nonstop Disco Powerpack" and vomitously cutesy '80s synth-pop "OK." And this is the pattern for the entire record; every good idea is murdered by two or three awful ones. "Don't Play No Game That I Can't Win" is a horrible Santigold reggae track featuring the B. Boys only in a minor supporting role. "Multilateral Nuclear Disarmament" is an unremarkable backing track whose instrumental status can only be attributed to lack of lyrical ideas. "Here's A Little Something For Ya" rides on a faux-dramatic synth line so lame it could've been on an early Kid Rock record. "The Bill Harper Collection" and "The Larry Routine" are in-jokes that make no sense. THREE DIFFERENT SONGS have their choruses performed (and ruined) by little kids.

As far as I can tell, the raps aren't particularly interesting either. Bob Dylan's "Subterranean Homesick Blues" is quoted in two different songs for some reason (its second appearance followed by the rebuke, "Stop singing that song!"), and the lyrics I can make out above the cheap mic distortion all seem to be pretty basic boasts. The energy level is mostly fine, although you'd never guess that "Lee Majors Come Again" was a punk rock song based on its laidback vocals; these men sound a hundred years older and tireder than the band that exuberantly shouted "Time For Livin'" two decades ago. Then again, one of them has cancer so maybe I should shut the fuck up, asshole (me).

In summation, the disc's most interesting tracks point towards a strange and noisy new chapter for the band. Unfortunately, Adam Yauch, Adam Horowitz and/or Michael Diamond lacked the interest and/or confidence to leave the comfortable past entirely behind. The result is a sloppy and unsatisfying mix of new and old, hypnotic and obvious, experimental and radio-pandering.

Regardless, if you haven't watched "Fight For Your Right Revisited," DO IT NOW! It's somewhere on the Internet. Find it!

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