So I thought to myself, "I wonder what it would be like if The Guess Who's Burton Cummings were to visit one of his hometown Winnipeg rock clubs in the mid-'90s and happen upon local politically-correct grindcore band 'Swallowing Shit'?" I think it might go something like this.....

BWANK BWANK BWANGY-BWANGY-BWANK-A-BWANK-A-BWANK!
BWANK BWANK BWANGY-BWANGY-BWANK-A-BWANK!
BWANK BWANK BWANGY-BWANGY-BWANK-A-BWANK-A-BWANK!
BWANK BWANK BWANGY-BWANGY-BWANK-A-BWANK!

Canadian Grindcore! Get away from me-hee!
Canadian Grindcore! Mama let me be-hee!
Don't come hangin' around my door!
I don't wanna hear your blastbeats no more!
I got more important things to do
(though I LOVE "If They Hated Me, They Will Hate You")
Now Grindcore! I said stay away!
I can't even tell what your guitars are trying to play-hey-hey!

DOO DOO DOOOOOOOO! DOO DOO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DOOOOO DOO DOO DOOOOOOOOOOOO! DOO-DA-LEE-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Canadian Grindcore! Your singer's screamin' hoarsely-hee!
Canadian Grindcore! With future member of Propagandhi-hee!
You're half grind and half hardcore!
All but one of your songs are shorter than 1:24!
You're pro-womyn, -animal and -Native!
Your diet is strictly vegetative!
Now Grindcore! I said stay away!
Though I like the song title "Christian Metal = Nazi Reggae"-hey-hey!

DOO DOO DOOOOOOOO! DOO DOO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DOO-DA-LEE-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DOO-DA-LEE-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

BWUGGY-BWIGGY-BWANK-A-BWANK! (DOOO!)
BWUGGY-BWIGGY-BWANK-A-BWANK! (DOOO!)
BWUGGY-BWIGGY-BWANK-A-BWANK! (DOOO!)
BWUGGY-BWIGGY-BWANK-A-BWANK!

Canadian Grindcore! I said get away-hey!
Canadian Grindcore! Although it's cool you're pro-gay-hey!
You often start with a cool sick bit!
But then you turn into generic shit!
I don't need your NYHC!
Stick to smart speedcore like "...May Offend The Honkeys"
Distorted bass can hypnotize
But basic chord changes don't cut it, guys!
Now Grindcore, your guitars are heavy-hee!
But you can't even fill up an 18-minute Anthology-hee-hee!

DOO DOO DOOOOOOOO! DOO DOO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DOO-DA-LEE-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DOO-DA-LEE-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I said go! Gotta get away!
Gotta get away! Now go go go!
I'm gonna leave you, Grindcore!
I'm gonna leave you, Grindcore!
Bye-byyyyye-hi
Bye-byyyyye-hi
Bye-byyyyye-hi!!
Bye-byyyyye-hi!!
You're too frustrating for me!
I'm not gonna bother reviewing you!
You do amazing things with feedback and harmonics
But your riffs could use some smartening too!
You know, I'm gonna leeeeeave
You know I'm gonna gooooooooooooo
You know I'm gonna just write a stupid parody of "American Woman" and call it a 'review'
You know I'm gonna go, Grindcore!
I'm gonna leave, Grindcore!
Goodbye, Canadian Grindcore!
Goodbye, Canadian Thrash!
Goodbye, Canadian Funny Song Titles Like "I May Be P.C., But You're A Goddamn Poseur" and "If Assholes Could Fly, This Place Would Be An Airport"!

I'D LIKE TO THANK BURTON CUMMINGS FOR WRITING THIS REVIEW FOR ME, THANK YOU BURTON CUMMINGS AND CONTINUED GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR MUSTACHE.

Reader Comments

steve.robey@mindspring.com
Yet another jewel in the crown of the Prindle Review legacy. Never heard of this group and Canadian Grindcore isn't really my thing, but any review that mentions Burton Cummings is a must-read if you ask me.

kirkpatrick985@gmail.com
The vocalist sounds like he's been eating dookie sandwiches. He's a shit beard shoutin cow. For the most part the album's rhythm is boring, making it good music for book reading. But shitspittin'testicals, when they catch a catchy groove between blastin on trash can lids, it's not all that bad.
Swallowing Shit sucks. They can't even make a good 18 minute album, just an okay one.
Don't let one shiteating turd burger turn you sour. Research Nasum, they are spoOky and take you to spoOky world.
Shittingskittles - TechTv Welcoming Committee isn't spooky, they are unconvincing anarchopussies.
Have you heard Anal Cunt's Sabra Cadabra sing-along? It swallows shit too.

Click here to buy a CD by SWALLOWING SHIT on Amazon.com!

Or click here to ingest additional feces at Mark Prindle.com.