special introductory
paragraph!
Superfuzz Bigmuff EP
Superfuzz Bigmuff Plus
Early Singles CD
Mudhoney
Every Good Boy Deserves
Fudge
Piece Of Cake
On Tour Now! EP
Five Dollar Bob's Mock
Cooter Stew EP
My Brother The Cow
Tomorrow Hit Today
March To Fuzz
Since We've Become Translucent
Under A Billion Suns
The Lucky Ones
Have you ever even heard "Pushin' Too Hard?"
Some folks feel that this is Mudhoney's only good record. I disagree and, in fact, don't even think it's their best record, quite frankly. I mean, "No One Has" and "In 'N' Out Of Grace" rock my mudpies all over the creekbank, and "Need" and "If I Think" are catchy and moving, respectively and respectably, but "Chain That Door" is kind of awkward, and the sludgy "Mudride" comes dangerously close to "duller than Bobby Fuller," not that I'm putting down Bobby Fuller, nor in contrast expressing some sort of solidarity with his memory, which is to say that I have no feelings towards or against the mafia, and I'm sure that they're very pleasant people once you get to know them. Essentially, I just needed something that rhymed with "duller."
Cool EP, and they wouldn't sound this fuzzy for much longer, so enjoy it while you're canned!
As for the album itself, it's straight up rock and roll in all it's primitive fury. Little bit of punk, a little bit of metal, a faint inkling of some country/blues, and, hell, even some good melodies thrown about (I'm thinking "Need" in particular or "You Got It"). Leaves anything Nirvana did in the dust.
I simply love "Get Into Yours," "Flat Out Fucked," "By Her Own Hand," "The Farther I Go" - actually, most of 'em!!! "Come To Mind" is another one o' them dagnabbed slow dirgey things, but the other eleven are delightful!!! What the hell else can I say? It's just rock and roll! No social message or artistic aspiration - just straight-up guitar rock for children to enjoy in the privacy of their own homes. No irritating bombast or pianos like on Who's Next, this stuff is rock and roll for the very sake of rock and roll, and for no other reason. Are they feeling existential pain? Probably not. Are they trying to win an award for "Most Innovative New Band?" I doubt it. Are they high on life and drunk on weed? Chances are good. The point is that most bands who just try to play "good ol'-fashioned rock and roll" end up playing the same old blues sequences we've been bored by for forty years, and (at least here), Mudhoney are smart enough not to do that. These are creative new melodies, and fun to dance to! The singer's voice might get on your nerves, though. He kinda sounds like he's making fun of you all the time. Asshole.
See, I used to love this album, but recently it has started to seem more like a group of musically limited (though melodically creative) guys trying to sound "rootsy". Maybe it's just the production? Or the fact that it is much more blatantly a "pop" album than the last two? Or maybe it's just the stupid happy album cover that twists my sentiments? Either way, this stuff is real fun, but slightly unsatisfying in the long run.
But hey, at least it's fun, unlike The Long Run, or any other album by that gang of sleazy playboy billionaires.
number two: why hasnt anyone mentioned "into the drink", thats one of my favorite mud songs to cover in my band!
Unfortunately, the album as a whole suffers from the inclusion of too much silliness backed up by hackneyed chord sequences. Who pays twelve bucks to hear jokes??? I mean, besides the billions and billions of justifiably devoted "Weird Al" Yankovic fanatics? If you listen to it in a good or pot-smokin' mood, you'll get a good feel from it and have a swell afternoon. If you wanna hear real music, though, look the frig elsewhere.
i used to hate the hell out of this album.. its the most unmudhoney mudhoney record i can think of. but like was above, some of these songs rock your world... oh yeah my friends nicknamed this record "piece of shit"
The pink watches and cap didn't stick around for the long term, THANK GOD. But what did I replace them with? Surely I couldn't let the wind blow my long flowing locks all over my face like the wind all day?! Nope - so I "CoOlLy" bought black baseball caps featuring the logos of Black Flag, CRASS and.... MUDHONEY!
Yes, I firmly remember that first mythical (pathetic) day on campus, when I went down to Schoolkids' Records to look at the hot new albums that all the kids were talking about. And what did I buy? The brand new cassette tape Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge by MUDHONEY!
Then a month or two later, who came to town for me to go see at the Cat's Cradle Club (KKK)? THE COWS! But also, later, Mudhoney. And, in the words of George Harrison, "My Sweet Lord" did they kick some ass. The crowd was full of both young rockers and (strangely) outlaw motorcycle gang members. I positioned myself sort of in the middle of the club, but then the band came onstage, started playing (I think) "In 'N' Out Of Grace," and the crowd went NUTSO. I've NEVER experienced such a violent stageward crowd surge as this one. And this is no exaggeration -- by the time the song was over, I was sitting ON THE STAGE at the feet of Mark Arm. This is where I sat for the entire rest of the concert. It was fuckin' awesome, with a capital 'fuckin''.
I saw them again on the Piece Of Cake tour and it wasn't anywhere near as interesting, for some reason. Also, just because I don't think I mentioned it elsewhere, I saw Nirvana in a small club less than two weeks after Nevermind came out, and was actually kinda disappointed. I'm not saying that to be cool - I'm sure they were fine, it's just that they played a lot of covers and b-sides I hadn't heard at the time, so I kept getting bored and antsy to hear the songs I knew. I'd probably appreciate it more now. Maybe I'll see them the next time they come around.
Say, you know what would be fun? Me listing all the rock'n'roll shows I attended in my youth. Let's do that, you and I!
- Ween on the Pod and Pure Guava tours, back when Dean and Gene performed all by themselves with a DAT machine while standing on a carpet they'd brought, wearing socks but no shoes. HILARIOUS!
- Pink Floyd on the Momentary Lapse Of Reason tour. Pretty exciting stuff. Look at that bed crash into the stage.
- Pavement when Gary was still drumming for them. He was wearing a The Who shirt! This must have been shortly after Slanted & Enchanted came out. I also saw them on the Crooked Rain and Wowee Zowee tours.
- Polvo and Superchunk 18-20 times each. When I first saw Superchunk, Chuck Garrison was still their drummer. When I first saw Polvo, their only release was the debut double-single.
- Pixies on the Trompe Le Monde tour. Might as well have stayed home and just listened to the record, especially with boringass Pere Ubu opening.
- Sebadoh right after III came out, when they were playing everything as noisily and hilariously as they could. I actually performed "Land Of The Lords" with them at this show, because I used to really like being the center of attention. Now I can't even stand when people look at me, so don't. Saw Sebadoh a few other times, but they grew progressively less interesting over the years.
- Yes on the Big Generator tour. Many are jealous. Later saw a completely different line-up on the "Masterworks" tour.
- Aerosmith on the Permanent Vacation tour -- their last good album! Lots of scantily clad teenaged girls at this show. I was Nerd McJenkinsJohnson at the time though, so I didn't look at any of them. The horrible White Lion opened (remember their hit "Wait"?).
- AC/DC on the Blow Up Your Video tour -- I didn't find out until over a decade later that Malcolm Young wasn't even on that tour! It was some cousin who looked just like him.
- Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 when their newest record was Lovelyville, with opening band Sun City Girls confusing the hell out of everybody. I saw TFUL a few other times over the years, and they blew me away every time. Not literally though.
- Ramones when Dee Dee was still in the band (with 'Dead Elvis' opening). Also several times with C. Jay, but whoop-de-goddamned-do.
- Cows on the Peacetika tour (as well as every successive tour).
- Melvins on the Stoner Witch tour -- I HATED IT, and walked out after maybe three songs. Years later, I saw them playing with Tomahawk and Melt-Banana and enjoyed it much, much more. Walked out during Tomahawk though.
- Indigo Girls. Seriously! I'd just broken up with my insane girlfriend and was trying to keep as busy as I could. They sucked, obviously. But the lesbian haircuts were hilarious.
- Flaming Lips three times on the Transmissions From The Satellite Heart tour. They were owrsome! (hence my triple-attendance)
- Butthole Surfers on the Pioughd tour. Right at their creative PEAK!!!! At least opening act Bad Livers were entertaining. I later saw the Butthole Surfers again on Independent Worm Saloon and they were much better.
- Yo La Tengo. I nearly fell asleep. That band sure has a lot of slow songs.
- Dead Milkmen on the Beelzebubba tour, with Mystical Shit-era King Missile opening, then on the Metaphysical Graffiti tour with Mojo Nixon opening (along with the awful, boring Cavedogs). Saw the Dead Milkmen several times afterwards as well, and they were always great silly fun. Also saw King Missile III years later, but John S. Hall hates my fucking guts now (don't ask) so let's not talk too much about that.
- Dwarves on the Thank Heaven For Little Girls and Sugarfix tours. Short! Fun! Violent! Later saw them on the Young And Good-Looking tour too, with the Action Swingers supporting. Long! Good! Not Violent!
- Helmet on the Strap It On tour. They ruled so much unbelievably heavy ass, I couldn't wait to see them again. I did so right before Meantime came out -- and HATED IT!
- The AmRep 'Clusterfuck' show, featuring Today Is The Day, Guzzard and Chokebore.
- Negativland. I probably laughed, knowing me. I saw Mark Hosler solo once too, and remember that being pretty funny.
- Nomeansno on the Worldhood Of The World (As Such) tour. Awesome! Kicked some serious ass!
- God Bullies on the Dog Show tour. The guitarist was wearing an AmRep cap and AmRep t-shirt. Looked pretty goofy.
- Bad Religion on the Against The Grain tour. That post-Descendents band 'All' opened, and sucked every piece of shit in the state.
- Fugazi on the Repeater tour, then again years later.
- The Ramainz, featuring Dee Dee Ramone, his wife, C. Jay Ramone, and Marky Ramone
- 7 Seconds, Exploited, Circle Jerks, Weirdos and Flipper, all on reunion tours of some sort. I enjoyed all of them anyway, particularly the song "Helium Bar".
- Sonic Youth on the Dirty tour -- the direct cause of my 'I hate Sonic Youth' period, which persists to this day.
- Leonard Cohen. All due respect to the guy, but by the time I saw him, he was a shriveled-up 5,000-year-old surrounded by kissasses. I left after three songs.
- Dinosaur Jr. on the Green Mind tour, supported by My Bloody Valentine on the Loveless tour.
- The Fall on the Infotainment Scan, Middle Class Revolt, Levitate and Real New Fall Album tours.
- Lots of indie bands and opening acts I could give two shits about, including Codeine, Supersuckers, Candy Snatchers, Nasty Savage, Clawhammer, Elvis Hitler, Madder Rose, Blast Off Country Style, Das Damen, Bettie Serveert, Ed Hall, Tsunami, Holy Rollers, Branch Manager, the Grifters, Sister Double Happiness, the Dentists, Half Japanese, Dust Devils, Luscious Jackson and Poster Children (though I do like several songs on the first couple Poster Children albums).
- Shellac on the At Action Park tour. Steve Albini makes crazy faces with his eyes!
- Zip Code Rapists on the 94124 tour, with U.S. Saucer opening.
- Tesco Vee's Hate Police! They were awful.
- D.R.I. on the Thrash Zone tour, and a couple other times afterwards.
- Helios Creed on what I guess was the Lactating Purple tour, though I'm not positive about that. I think I saw him again on the Kiss To The Brain tour too. God, who can remember when you were as stoned as he was?
- Killdozer on the Uncompromising War On The Proletariat tour - hilarious!
- New Bomb Turks on the Information Highway Revisited tour. Wish it had been the Destroy-Oh-Boy!! tour.
- Trans Am before they had an album out. They were already great!
- Anal Cunt! Supporting Top 40 Hits! In a little tiny coffeehouse!
- Greg Ginn on the tour for his first solo record. LOUD!
- Corrosion Of Conformity after they'd ceased being a great band, but before they'd put out any stoner metal records to alert me to the fact that they'd ceased being a great band. WORST SHOW EVER. First time I ever 'moshed' though. Ran around in a circle like an intelligent librarian.
- GWAR on the Scumdogs Of The Universe tour (and again years later). Oh, we had such wonderful fun! Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish.
- The Ventures. Don Wilson handed me one of his picks! I can't find it now though.
- Unrest before Imperial came out, as well as a few other times.
- Air Miami before their album came out.
- The Jesus Lizard on the Goat tour, and several times afterwards. The last time I saw them, the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion blew them off the stage. And I don't even like the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion!
- Didjits. Not sure when, don't much care. The singer tried to sell me pot.
- Alice Donut on the Revenge Fantasies of the Impotent tour, and again later on the Pure Acid Park tour.
- Nick Cave on the No More Shall We Part tour. Okay, that wasn't that long ago.
- Cramps on the Look Mom No Head tour. On Valentine's Day!
- Drunken Boat before their lousy third album came out.
- Lemonheads on the It's A Shame About Ray tour, with Juliana Hatfield opening
- Meat Beat Manifesto on the Actual Sounds And Voices tour. Drum-heavy!
- Moody Blues on the Sur La Mer tour. HOTTT!
- Hammerhead, twice. And Vertigo. Probably Tar too, though I can't remember for sure.
- Public Image Ltd. on the 9 tour. Johnny Rotten showed us his bleedin' arse! Flesh For Lulu opened, and were poor.
- Steel Pole Bathtub at some point. They even played all the movie samples on stage.
- Stereolab on the Transient Random Noise-Bursts tour.
- Guided By Voices on the Bee Thousand tour. I wasn't a fan at the time, but it was still fun to see the old men acting like the Rolling Stones on this little tiny stage.
- Ride on the Going Blank Again tour -- I wish it had been the Nowhere tour. :7( Pale Saints opened, and certainly weren't the slightest bit interesting.
- Don Caballero touring for their first album.
- Royal Trux. HEROIN.
- The Reivers. Some jerk spread a rumor that it was REM under a fake name, next thing you know it's sold out and everyone's a dumbass.
- Strutter, a Kiss tribute band.
- Medeski, Martin And Wood. Made me feel cultured til I got bored as hell about 10 minutes in.
- Labradford. Funny how it's not as exciting to watch a guy dick around on a computer as it is to sit at home and listen to his CD.
- Crash Worship, who knocked over all the tables in the club, shot bottle rockets at the crowd's feet, threw flour all over everything, and played not a single interesting song.
- Janitor Joe when Kristen Pfaff was debating whether or not to join Hole. She did - and subsequently died of a heroin overdose!
- "Weird Al" Yankovic on the Off The Deep End tour -- with my MOM!
- Dos and firehose in 1993. I love Mike Watt, but firehose stunk stunk, GOD how they stunk.
- Six Finger Satellite at some point. Really made an impression.
- Basehead. Or some rap band. I think it was Basehead.
- Shrimp Boat on the Duende tour, or whatever that album was called.
- Tons of local-ish Atlanta and North Carolina bands, including Archers of Loaf before they had an album out, the second-ever Squirrel Nut Zippers show, Orifice, Breadwinner, Dillon Fence (BLARGH), Erectus Monotone, Pipe, Geezer Lake, Picasso Trigger, Joby's Opinion, Mr. Meredies, FUxperience, Krapper Keeper, Zen Frisbee, Pine State, Flat Duo Jets, Psycho-Acoustics Research & Development, Small (later Small-23), Blue Green Gods, Shiny Beast, Bicycle Face, Queen Sarah Saturday (BLARGH), Family Dollar Pharoahs, Capsize 7 (BLARGH), Metal Flake Mother, the Raymond Brake, Evil Weiner, Bicentennial Quarters, June, Minerva Street, Spatula, Tractor Hips, Vanilla Trainwreck, Bitter Sons, Mishki Sanfords, Whiskeytown, Portastatic, Seam, Wiggle, Dirt, Flap, UltraBabyFat, Impotent Sea Snakes, Mad Hatter, Love Me Avenue, Jack-O-Nuts, King-Kill/33 and Engine.
That's all I can think of right now, though I'm certain there were many more. I'm an old man. Look at my life! I'm a lot like you were. I fuckin' DESPISE going to shows now though (and have since like 1995) so don't count on me seeing any hip newer bands.
And that's my review of the Mudhoney promo-only On Tour Now! live EP.
Oh, one other quick thing: it's really good. They play three Piece Of Cake songs, two from Mudhoney, and covers of Angry Samoans' "You Stupid Asshole" and Fang's "The Money Will Roll Right In." Remember Fang? With their singer who murdered his girlfriend while high on drugs? That's good stuff. Also, don't be tricked by Reprise's claim that there is a rare track on here called "Fashion Forecast." It's not a song! It's just a piece of stage patter that they for some reason put a title on. Thank God Reprise never put out a live KISS album! There'd be like 45,000 tracks on it. The sound on his live Mudhoney thing is fantastic, with the guitars separated in each speaker - one thick and crunchy, the other wah-wahed. Mark is in fine voice and, although "No End In Sight" is a little boring in the live context (the guitars don't do a thing during the verses, and the bass is too distorted to make out what he's playing), this is definitely worth seeking out for those Mudhoney fanatics who can't figure out why the pricks still haven't put out a live album after all these years. Of particular interest is a 10-minute breakdown of "Dead Love" that includes some beautifully soaring slide guitar before turning into a Doors medley at the end (well, sort of. Basically Mark sings bits of "The End," "L.A. Woman" and "Roadhouse Blues" as the rest of the band churns along on one note). So you see, you don't have to see a band live in concert to hear them live in concert! Catch Mudhoney - On Tour Now!
Well, not NOW; they suck NOW. But if you see this record anywhere, catch Mudhoney - On Golden Pond!
Oh dear god.
Umm...
Oh dear Lord. Mark...you've got to be exaggerating...right?
Oh man.
Reason number one in my short list of reasons that I am now going to relate to you assuming that you continue reading the sentence that I am currently typing onto the computer screen at this moment, be that 6:58 PM on August 19, 1998, just over a week since I began taking Prozac, although that's certainly nobody's business but my own, is that the songs themselves are catchy as crap garage rockers. Generic, yes, but no more or less predictable than a million other great rockers you may have heard back in the 1960's had you been alive back then ("Satisfaction," "Dirty Water," "Over Under Sideways Down"), but unfortunately music performances only happen once and we've yet to perfect a way of somehow capturing that performance so that it may be enjoyed at a later time. Reason number three in my list of reasons for liking this record is because of it's neat how Mudhoney are on a major label but they're still putting out crappily-recorded slop rock & using the same exact guitar tones and nasally yell voices they've always used; in different ways of saying it, they're pretty much stating to their record label, "Pardon us while we still don't have a hit or sell any records!"
So you decide for yourself what you want. If you want art, or even creative alternative music, don't buy Mudhoney records. If you want to remember why you love your Dad's old collection of early Kinks '45s si nycg pardon me, i meant "so much," buy this new Mudhoney album! It's rock! It's real! It's wimpy! It's garagey! It's fun! It's not going to make them a cent! And if I'm wrong, then America's radio nation is finally getting somewhere it should have gone a long time ago.
Did I mention that "Ghost" sounds a hell of a lot like "Cat Scratch Fever"? But with a Patrick Swayze feel to it, of course.
By the Way the band who originally did Ghost: Cheater Slicks are not a sixties band as far as I know they area 90's garage rock band...
8 outta 10.
Okay, so most people liked the first Mudhoney single and EP and then said "Fuck 'em. They lost it." But that's bullshit. They enjoyed their particular dirty style, and they stuck with it, with great success, throughout their entire career. Disc one is not in chronological order - the songs are all mixed up from thoughout their entire career -- and you CANNOT TELL which came first. Because they all have the same sound, attitude and great hooks. Does Piece Of Cake's "Suck You Dry" sound good right after Superfuzz Big Muff's "In 'n' Out Of Grace"? Yes. It sounds perfect there. Does their final album's "A Thousand Forms Of Mind" flow effortlessly between two EGBDF songs? You bet your jalopy it does. I've described their sound already -- this is a collection of awesome tunes. I personally don't like "Good Enough" at this point (too poppy and dull - totally not their style), but find another bad track on here and I'll eat my hat.
My delightful chocolate hat, that is.
As for disc 2 -- okay, let's say you're me, right? And let's say you open up the disc and see that, all in a row, they do covers of songs by Spacemen 3, Angry Samoans, the Adolescents, the Damned, Elvis Costello, Fang, Black Flag, Void, Billy Childish, Suicide, Motorhead and the fucking CRUCIFUCKS?!?!?!?!?!?!?? You'd shit your pants, wouldn't you? WOULDN'T YOU?????
Of course you would. And it's not my fault I opened the disc during my wedding.
However the dissapontment is in this "complete" colection of rarities - the most fun Mudhoney track "Freak mama" with Sir Mix A Lot isnt here which is a shame....
Other than that - a great document of a great rockband whos 60 pastiched make the strokes look frankly - quite crap!
But "The Straight Life"? Oh my dear LORD, what a piece of generic garage rock GARBAGE! Luckily, it's a great song and I love it (we're registered at Bed, Bath & Beyond). The same cannot be said for the slow crappy "In The Winner's Circle" (which is a COMPLETE ripoff of "Bored, Here Have A Jigsaw Puzzle," a song I wrote in high school, recorded with my former band the Low-Maintenance Perennials and ultimately sold to Mudhoney for 55 grand), the unforgivably unoriginal blues/rocker "Dyin' For It" (which wasn't exactly "innovative" when ZZ Top recorded it as "Waitin' For The Bus" 29 years ago) and "Sonic Infusion" (which begins with a riff NICKED from Suicidal Tendencies' "Subliminal" before switching into seven minutes of go-nowhere one-chord pounding crap).
If you're looking for generalizations rather than specifics, this disc sounds just like Mudhoney - the happy fun 60s punk Nugget songs, the bitter angry 60s punk Nugget rockers, the long psych jams - but some of the songs feature horns, to both good effect ("Take It Like A Man" swings like a New Orleans pendulum!) and bad ("Where The Flavor Is" is a simplified version of the "Get Into Yours" riff from the debut Mudhoney LP -- and the horns aren't the ONLY thing sleazy about it!!!! To give you a hint, the title refers to a certain part of the female anatomy that men have been known to eat pussy at
GODDAMN IT, I GAVE IT AWAY!!! I KNEW MY CLUE WAS TOO EASY, BUT OH NO, ALEX "ASSHOLE" TREBEK HAD TO INSIST THAT I ADD THE WORD "THE" AND GIVE THE WHOLE DAMN THING AWAY!!!! FUCK YOU, ALEX TREBEK!!!!! DON'T BOTHER GRABBING A RUBBER IF YOU FEEL SOMETHING WARM AND WET TOUCHING YOUR SKIN TONIGHT -- THAT''LL JUST BE ME PISSING ON YOUR ROTTING CORPSE!!!!!
So that's the deal with the Mudhoney reunion album. I'll let you know how the Nirvana reunion works out.
There is no weak tracks.
Believe what you've read everywhere else: One of Mudhoneys greatest albums.
Rock on guys. Pure Mudhoney.
Firstly again (or secondly, perhaps) derivativeness is not necessarily lameness. Just because Prindle can supposedly pinpoint the rip-off points (and "Dyin' for It" sounds as much like ZZ Top's "Waitin' for the Bus" as "Master of Puppets" sounds like "Away in a Manger") doesn't mean he's found some kind of flaw... let's face it, everything but everything is derivative, and Mudhoney can't help but sound like Mudhoney. Now Nirvana, on the other hand, are an example of when imitation becomes a form of sterility, because they could be anyone else when they rip-off; they don't make songs their own (thankfully, they don't make songs at all anymore).
"Sonic Infusion", the Prindlester suggests, is "one-chord pounding crap". Firstly (we're saying that too much), it has four chords. Count 'em, Mark. And if that's beyond you, a little help... Arm sings, "they think we [chord change] don't ex[chord change]ist since [chord change] we've become trans[chord change]lu[chord change]cent" and so on. And it's not crap. It's great. One of Mudhoney's (Hell, one of anybody's) best ever. It's a freakin' rock 'n' roll classic.
Finally, let's just point out how Prindle's seriously misguided (or perhaps just plain dumb) in claiming that the great Steve Turner is just playing late sixties rip-off solos. I mean, perhaps he could accuse Mike McCready of that (although we'd go round his house and duff him up if he did), but Steve? To quote Zack de la Rocha, "nah"! Turner's playing is grounded in the early sixties, and then again in the late seventies punk style of playing. Hell, he often complains that his tunes have "too much lead guitar for my tastes"... wonder who makes him play it, then? Whoever, we're glad he does.
Now Mr. Prindle also doesn't appear to have managed to catch the drift of "Where the Flavor is" either... Mudhoney, who are possibly the second most sleazy band of all time (with the first place going to The Rolling Stones), are just made for this kind of stuff, and while Mark (Arm, not Prindle, thankfully) has his tongue in the lady's pundendum in this tune, he also takes the time to put it in his cheek. The sleaze which Mudhoney do is well represented by Ed Fotheringham's artwork for them, such as the comical sleeve for March to Fuzz. Go have a look at it, we can't be bothered to describe it to y'all; treat yourself. Oh, and buy it, too. And this. Buy this on vinyl... it sounds amazing (it's translucent green, too... mmm...), and pick up the "Sonic Infusion" seven inch, too, for a great b-side, a cover of "Long Way to Go" by someone who isn't Mudhoney. So we can't be arsed to find out who they are: this is punk, dammit.
In conclusion, let us reiterate Bill Sky's cry of "do not believe the shit that was just typed there by Mark Prindle", and praise Mudhoney. Mark Arm: a tall, gravel-skinned, humble Godhead; Steve Turner: an equally lofty and polite fellow who somehow manages to be the Southern gentleman of Seattle (maybe it's coming from Texas that does it... duh!); Guy Maddison: "a dark, handsome Australian" according to Arm, knowledgable and accomodating... a superb bassist, too; Dan Peters: genuinely one of the two or three finest drummers of all time, even Nirvana had the sense to realise they were too poor for him and got Dave "Loser" Grohl as a replacement, a soft-spoken, incongruously short and wonderfully wonderful guy. Mudhoney: you gotta love 'em. No, really, you gotta. It's the law. And no-one is above the law. Go and buy their records. All of them. Now. And some Billy Childish. Happy listenin', punks!
The songwriting is goofy fun, which it might as well be because you'll listen to the album three times before you listen to the words. If you like instrumentation and vocals that are in sharp contrast to each other stay the hell away from this record. Everything kind of melds together like raisins in oatmeal -- it still tastes good, you know each ingredient is in there, but it's indistinct. I kind of like that.
After being let down by the Vines and Audioslave last year due to sterile production and too much editing, this kind of album is just what the doctor ordered. It means I can stop searching for "Buzz Factory" on vinyl -- rock is still around.
PS: I thought "Post Wave" meant that we all agreed to stop bitching about stolen riffs, since everything had already been recorded by rod stewart anyway. Everything I play is "Stairway to Heaven" or "Wipeout."
Okay, Under A Billion Suns is not a terrible record by my standards; it's just that this band used to be so GREAT! Their songs were catchy and driving and filled your brain with good ol' Nuggety garage rock riffs. Now it sounds like they're not even trying. Here's my Mark Arm guy: "Why bother writing our own riff when we can just use one that's been used dozens and dozens of times by throwaway shit bands since rock and roll began?" And here's my Steve Turner guy: "Yeah, and nobody will care, because we're a 'GARAGE ROCK' band! We're not supposed to be original!" Well, I don't believe that. Mudhoney used to be plenty creative, coming up with all kinds of killer guitar melodies that you'd never quite heard before. But there's a reason nobody gives a shit about them anymore and it has nothing to do with the death of grunge: if a band can't come up with more than three good songs every four years, word of mouth is going to go a little quiet.
Where earlier Mudhoney records sounded like treasure-filled Nuggets compilations, this one sounds like a late-period Standells cut-out. Too many ugly minor-key chord sequences, too many 'riffs' you've heard thousands of times before -- is this honestly the best music that they're capable of making these days? Three generic chords with half-assed lead dickery on top? What happened to the hooks? What happened to the POINT!? Is it possible that Matt Lukin wasn't the Peter Tork of the band at all, but in fact a true musical genius?
Some of the songs are happy and playful, others are slow and bluesy, and still others are semi-angry ranters, but almost all of them have one thing in common: they add absolutely nothing to the canon of rock music that wasn't there before. If you don't already have, say, 90% of this record's chord sequences elsewhere in your record collection, you need to stop buying so much hip hop. Here's a tip for aspiring rockers: try to venture beyond the basic chords that you learned when you were 14. Put your fingers in different positions on the neck of your guitar. Take a crazy chance and see what might happen. And if you happen to notice that you're playing the chord sequence of "Rainy Day Women #12 and 35," REWRITE THE GODDAMNED SONG.
On the positive side, some of the lyrics are really, really clever. The narrator of "Endless Yesterday" initially puts forth the idea of surrounding the Earth in suns so that it 'bathes the world in revealing light,' but by the third verse, he makes it clear that he's really talking about how he fucked up a perfectly good relationship. I love this - the idea of setting up a song as social commentary, then slowly revealing that you're really talking about a personal issue. Well done, chaps! You too, lads! "Blindspots" is another terrific one, using parallel verse structures to illustrate that the state of senselessness is the best way of surviving in a sick, corrupt world. There are also some seemingly less meaningful but equally entertaining phrases and images strewn throughout, including "We are so far outside, we're all the way inside!" and "I dropped the moon and it shattered at your feet/I lost my grip when my hands began to bleed/My gift the moon my gift to you/My gift just lays there like a pile of broken teeth." So there's something positive: a fine set of lyrics from the old Mudhoney band boys.
While we're being friendly, four of these songs incorporate a great, charismatic horn section and two feature beautiful wordless backup vocals by Christy McWilson and Amy Allison. Hmm... But on the unfriendly, But what does it say about Mudhoney when the best things about their new album are the musical and vocal input of non-band members? For that matter, what is their goal at this point in their career? Just to keep earning enough money to avoid having to get regular jobs? (Or do they already work regular jobs?) I'm sorry I keep reiterating the same points over and over, but I'm simply at a complete loss as to how they could record songs as unpleasant as "It Is Us," as cliched as "Empty Shells" and as stupid as "Hard-On For War" -- and not notice. Are their ears broken? Fix your fuckin' ears, assholes! Get all the wax and sperm out of there so you'll recognize your new CD for what it is: a stinking heap of ass dung! With SHIT all over it!
If you like the music on this record, please tell me why. Tell me what I'm supposed to get out of the weak Cows ripoff of "Let's Drop In," the descending basic throwaway non-hook of "In Search Of....," or the standard blues-rock blanderies of "I Saw The Light." More importantly, tell me this: if you had a record contract with Sub Pop, affording you the opportunity to have your own songs heard by thousands of people all over the world -- wouldn't you put forth the effort to come up with something better than this?
Hmm. That wasn't very positive. Say! Did I mention that the horn section and female backup vocals provide fantastic color to five of the songs and make them almost seem worthwhile? The horn section does a particularly smashing job on album-closer "Blindspots," turning a basic bluesy lick/garage punk hybrid into a harmonic rooty-toot fun time jubilee. In addition, opening track "Where Is The Future?" is another winner in the slow druggy blues anthem genre they tackle once per album, and "Endless Yesterday" against all odds actually has a compelling pair of upset/sad chord sequences and note runs. More songs like these and we might have had a winner on our hands, rather than a fetid pool of diarrhea.
Incidentally, Russ Meyer's Mudhoney is a fantastic movie: light on the nudity (is there any?), but a very compelling story that builds up to an explosive and dramatic finale. As such, I recommend that Mudhoney change their name to "The Seven Minutes" if they're going to continue issuing records as bland as Under A Billion Suns.
Not that I've ever seen The Seven Minutes, but I'm told it's his weakest movie. I guess I might still like it though. My point is that if you're looking for a good album about there being a bunch of suns, try Killing Joke's Brighter Than A Thousand Suns. It's a bit heavy on the keyboards, but it beats the tar out of this substandard doohickie.
Also, Rest In Peace, Don Knotts. Your dramatic work brought a nation to tears times too countless to... count. May your thespian skills continue to shine in Actor Heaven.
I agree, it's ugly. I agree that there's really nothing new on it. But I've been listening to it for a few weeks, and it seems to me like it's a mood piece. Where their early records seem like singles comps, this one is more of a piece. An ugly piece, but I'm starting to think that's the point.
It's kinda like the vibe on "Funhouse". I like to listen to it all as a whole, as it slimes it's way down the wall. Less of a 'song' album than a 'mood' one.
Does it stand up to the self-titled album? Probably not. But I think you're being too harsh on it. Who knows? Maybe I'll hate it in a month.
I know you're a pothead, but I try to avoid breaking the law (aside from the Judas Priest song) so I waited until last week's visit to Amsterdam to get STONED like a HIPPIE. Here's a MySpace Bulletin I posted after my third day of getting BAKED like a COOKIE:
"Subject: tonight's HIGH STONED bulletin
Body: well i'm here in Flamsterdam getting wasted on Space Cookies, Space Tea and Space Cakes everyday because I can't INHALE righT! DAMmit. but the eating is fine. 3 space cakes and i'm igh as a kdote!
But you want tIto know "Say Mark what is it to be like to be like high on Hash feels ike?"
It feels like you're even slower than you already are!
yOU forget what you were JUST talking about, and have to backtrack until you figure it out!
it takes you FOREVER AND A DAY to figure out what to order on a menu
It's hilariouis. And my feet feel fuzzy! But this is illegal in the United Snakes of Captivity. Peace, my brother!
Tomorrow's my last day in Cap'n Tripsville, then I gots to moven'on to less Pot-astic Places.... Stay cool Jerry Berry!
And stay DOPE-like the POPE.
Also, Dutch is a hilarouise language.
Thisis - HEY! GOLDEN EARRING!
And that's my opinion about how I'm probably better off DRIKIING!"
Yes, getting TOASTED like a BEATNIK sure is a lot of toots, but after four days of non-stop getting IGH like a KDOTE, it took me a full day and a half to return to normal brain functioning. I was so slow and stupid, people kept mistaking me for an illiterate turtle! And sure, I enjoyed the earthworms and carrion I mean who wouldn't but when th
So that's probably it for me and the Devil's Weed. Glad I tried it and had some fun, but now it's back to clean living (getting drunk as often as possible).
Amsterdam is teeny, by the way. Not so teeny that the wife and I didn't get lost constantly (because we were WASTED like a BOTTLE THAT YOU THREW IN THE TRASH INSTEAD OF A RECYCLING BIN), but certainly so teeny that we kept passing the same stores and landmarks over and over and over again. Here's a funny story at which it's possible you'll laugh: on our fourth and final day in the City Of Legal Marijuana, we began our trek home to the hotel ("The Flying Pancake") at 6:00 PM. Due to excessive pot intake, we arrived there... at ELEVEN. It took us five hours to find our way like half a mile home. But did we care? Shit no! We were Flyin' High like David Crosby! So keep up the good work, Drugs.
But you know what else is legal in Flamsterdam? Prostitution! So the wife and I visited the Red Light District to view the prostitutes up for sale. They all looked like generic plastic models! Skinny, fake breasts, non-descript faces and far too much make-up - come on whores, be naturally pretty for a change. We also went to a 'Live Sex Show' because we were DOPED UP like a CHAMPION RACEHORSE. At first, I was dismayed because it was so unsleazy -- seriously, it was like being in an Oprah audience for the first two acts (a woman using a magic marker in her vagina to write "Sexy Boy" on an audience member's bare abdomen; a woman inviting an audience member to pull about five hundred thousand miles of tape out of her vagina). Luckily, the next act was an obese couple fucking and doing a standing 69, so that took care of that. Then the evening slowly wore down with a dull, stupid "Banana Show" and a woman dressed like a bunny rabbit masturbating with a carrot (for the children in the audience). Was it worth the however many Euros we paid? You bet it was! Now I know what a penis looks like!
We also went through the Children's Science Museum while STONED like a MOSLEM WOMAN SEEN IN PUBLIC WITHOUT HER BROTHER, which would've made me feel a little guilty except that the Museum had an exhibit on human sexuality. What in Sam Hill is up with Flamsterdamians? I don't mean like "this is how babies are made" -- it was about orgasms and shit! Do we really want little girls learning about orgasms?! I hope not, because then they'll grow up expecting one.
The next stop on our whirlwind tour of two cities was Berlin, Germany. Granted it was hot and granted I was tired, but I'll go ahead and make this judgment based on a mere day and a half spent there: Berlin is the lamest fucken city on the entire planet. If you live there and know differently, please advise, but all I saw in 11 hours of walking was a great zoo (I saw Knut! Write for photos), a bunch of shitty women's stores and 8 billion museums. Well, and a hooker. She was on the street at like 5:45 PM! But you know what they say - the early bird (whore) gets the worm (tiny wiggly penis)!
At any rate, I think the problem is that, having lived in New York City for the past 12 years, I expect every other city I visit to feature a comparable mix of hipster outlets, bookstores, movie outlets, record exchanges, people selling crap on the street, and interesting cultural happenings. Berlin didn't seem to have DICK in the way of any of those! Lots of museums sure, but who wants to live in the past? Stop living in the past! Also that gay memorial is stupid. Either toss in some lesbos or get rid of that thing.
And dinner in Berlin took two and a half hours. SHAME ON YOU, BERLIN! What am I, a guy who wants to CONVERSE with my wife!? SHIT NO! You're lucky we didn't both fall asleep before I finally got her upstairs and BALLED HER BRAINS OUT ALL NIGHT LONG!!!!!
(and by "balled her brains out," I of course mean "whined until she let me in")
(and by "all night long," I of course mean "real quick because she wanted to go to sleep")
On an unrelated topic, the old gray Mudhoney mare ain't what she used to be. At this point, I'm downright sorry that they reunited after the break-up because nothing they've done since has made me want to listen to them at all. The Lucky Ones isn't ugly like the last album, but it's even less compelling. You know what? This album doesn't even deserve correct sentence structure.
Generic non-riffs from Blues-And-Garage Cliché Town. Lazy playing and singing, with no fire or energy. Uncompelling tired old boring two-chord riffs, no vocal melodies, clunky drumbeats. Lots of cutesy wordplay sloganeering ("The past made no sense/The future looks tense"; "The open mind is an empty mind/So I keep mine closed"; "The lucky ones are lucky they're not around"). Steve Turner still using '60s distortion and bending his strings, but with no hooks at all. Mark Arm still having a stuffed nose. You know what? This album doesn't even deserve a general description.
"I'm Now" - Shitty attitude and a couple of generic funky garage chords. AWFUL.
"Inside Out Over You" - Bubbly-dubbly bass, fuzzy-wuzzy guitar and lopey-dopey drums. Warm, happy and one of the two songs on the album that I actually like.
"The Lucky Ones" - Shitty sluggish blues-grunge that drags on forever. GODAWFUL.
"Next Time" - Stupid two-chord riff. Why bother recording this shit? GODFUCKINGAWFUL.
"And The Shimmering Light" - Gentle clean guitar with shimmery tremelo-harmonics breaks (hence the title, I guess). Grows tiresome, but starts nice.
"The Open Mind" - Ugly tough thwack bendy brapp thwapping. Not hideous, and at least an honest attempt to create a different sort of riff.
"What's This Thing?" - Bendy-note blues and silly group vocals in 10/4 time. GODASSFUCKINGAWFUL.
"Running Out" - Tepid midtempo thing with choppy drumbeat. Not even noticeable enough to hate.
"Tales Of Terror" - Another shitty clunky song with two chords and a bluesy bend, which then breaks down into piano noise and clatter before coming back as a 3-chord rising part. I don't know. For some reason, I don't hate it. I really should though; it's terrible.
"We Are Rising" - Possibly the only actual song on the album (and the second of the two tracks that I actually like), this is a lovely two-chord ballad with phased guitar, a nice accompanying bass line, and for once an actual vocal melody! I wouldn't be a bit surprised to learn that this is the only song they bothered writing before the first day of the recording sessions. The rest just sound like Steve Turner went 'bleep bloop bwee,' Mark Arm went 'sounds good' and somebody pressed Record.
"New Meaning" - Finally a song with energy! Unfortunately it's generic blues-garage crap. GODASSFUCKINGJESUSAWFUL.
You know what? This album doesn't even deserve a conclusion.
But here are some hilarious jokes I made up using the song titles.
"I'm Now (Completely Out Of Ideas!)"
"The Lucky Ones (Had Their Ears Blown Off By A Land Mine The Day Before This Album Came Out!)"
"Next Time (We'll Try Harder To Think Up A Third Chord!)"
"What's This Thing? (A Shitty Song, Of Course!)"
"Running Out (Of Variations On The 'Two Chords And A Bent String' Formula!)"
"New Meaning" (To The Word 'Piss Boner'!)"
Okay that last one didn't really mean anything. But who's with me on the term 'Piss Boner'? Am I right!? And what a great band name! Think of how popular The Beatles would've been had they called themselves 'Piss Boner'! Hey don't get mad, Paul McCartney! You had your chance!
St. Petersburg's pretty good, but only in the city center. Yeah, there's attractions in the surrouding country, but they're mostly limited to factories, abandoned nobility palaces, and Peterhof. I blame the siege.
