special introductory
paragraph!
With Sympathy
Twelve Inch Singles 1981-1984
Twitch
The Land Of Rape And
Honey
A Mind Is A Terrible Thing
To Taste
In Case You Didn't Feel Like
Showing Up (Live)
Side Trax
KEIANHNO
N.W.O. CD-single
New Revelation
Filth Pig
Dark Side Of The Spoon
Sphinctour
Animositisomina
Houses Of The Mole'
Rantology
Rio Grande Blood
Rio Grande Dub
The Last Sucker
Cover Up
Adios... Puta Madres
The Last Dubber
MiXXXes Of The Mole'
Every Day Is Halloween: Greatest Tricks
Al Jourgenson is the leader of the outfit; he may be overdramatic and he's certainly had his moments of trying way too hard to be threatening (it's just sound; how threatening can it be?), but he has an amazing ear for samples, feedback, loud drums, guitar distortion, and the coolest-sounding way to shove 'em all together onto a cassette tape.
I have NO idea why, but this album rules!
It actually starts off really tame and kinda silly with the groovy "Just Like You" and sleek dark "We Believe," but starts to get really weird by the time side two rolls around. The bell gong chime thing in "Over The Shoulder" is only the first hint that something violent is creeping up; the speedy punk disco of "My Possession" is verification. And, just so you won't think that this bouncy effeminate violence is as hard as dance music can get, Al drags you into the bashy clanging headbanging grit of "Where You At Now?," which quickly deteriorates into the free noise of "Crash And Burn," which apparently at some point turns into some other noise excursion called "Twitch (Version II)," but I'll be pooped if I can figure out at what point the transition occurs. Essentially then, this album is Al's metamorphosis from light-footed dance boy to creepy racket warlord. The noise is primitive and guitar-free, but nonetheless, it's noise, and pretty darned attractive noise at that. Good for you, side two! Heck, side one, you're no slouch either, even though you kinda sound like the Pet Shop Boys.
Unless you mean an Adrian Sherwood solo album – since he was the one who programmed all the drum tracks, and sampled his Tackhead Sound System back-catalogue extensively for the white noise, and metallic percussion bits that define the overall sound of this release.
I think this is why the album before, and the majority of albums after sound radically different from Twitch.
Oddly enough, this is also the only Ministry album that Sherwood appeared on.
In fact, side two is one of the most threatening record sides I've ever heard, and there's nary a guitar on it!!!!! Okay, maybe not threatening, but certainly venemous. Plus, Al is one fine producer; as you'll hear here, he really knows how to pile on the samples and still keep everything as clean as a broke-dick accountant. Like some kinda breakdance DJ or something. Or some crap. Lots of people fancy this to be Ministry's finest moment, and "Stigmata"'s a bonafidal underground classic, but in my honest ope, it's a bit thin somehow. Every song is fantastic (even the "atmospheric" ones), but the mix isn't quite thick and bassy enough to sound real. It's more like listening to a really bitter keyboard venting its frustrations out on the world. For real anger-club music, check out the next album. Now that's a dozer.
Did someone say "abortive" was about suicide?
I agree that the mix could be slighter fuller, but this was recorded in '87 and I'd rather have better songs with a worse mix then the opposite. I'd give this a 9.5/10.
While we're on the subject, have you noticed how similar the guitar lines by ZZ Top and The Wipers are oddly similar? You have to really compare them, but it's creepy.
And it sounds real. There is space (and bass) between the noise. There are about fifteen different levels of samples speaking back and forth with each other. And the drums are as powerful as Bonham and Roland rolled together into one big alcoholic robot corpse. In short, I am simply blown away by this record. It's not threatening; the melodies are just really hypnotic - and varied, too! "Thieves" is a jagged forced choppy machine's attempt at hardcore while "Burning Inside" is straight metal. "Never Believe" is pit-slammin' punk mosh pit oi nirvana while "Cannibal Song" is a PIL rip-off. "Test" is Rage Against The Machine-esque political rap while "Faith Collapsing" is an almost-instrumental trance dance. And "Breathe" is a mean lengthy repetitive drone anthem while "So What" is a.... well, a mean lengthy repetitive drone anthem, but they both kick ass, so blow it ti wolb os ssa!!!! .
Meanwhile look at MTV...full of hair band bitches whose agression only reachged max level when trying to decide who should get the last can o' hairspray. Stigmata was never my most favorite Ministry song since it sounded too "stripped" on Land of Rape, but this live version has certainly became my favorite one. Why? Listen to it. It speaks for itself. Great album!
As an astute (budding) reviewer already mentioned, the video adds a lot to the experience, especially the version of "Breathe" which is not included on this cd (why? WWHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY??????) and has some great industrial imagery going on. Some of the Jello performance didn't even make the video cut. Did I mention I was at this show? The tension was incredibly thick that night (KMFDM had opened for them and did a great job) and the chain link fence in front of the stage just added to the animosity. Little punks eventually started to climb the fence and jump off into the crowd from about 15 feet in the air. On my way out, I saw a trail of blood going into the men's room. This was a serious show!
Years later, I saw Ministry at Lollapasnoozer, and they were INCREDIBLY FUCKING LOUD for an outdoor act. And they sounded impeccable with all the guitars, drums, samples, etc going on. And they were also INCREDIBLY FUCKING LOUD!!
Paul Raven from Killing Joke is touring with them in the summer of 2006.
Side Trax is a terrific idea that I personally never thought could have come to fruition due to copyright and personnel issues. What it IS is an 80-minute CD compiling the work of four of the best-known and least-recorded Al Jourgensen side projects of the 1980s: Pailhead, 1000 Homo DJs, PTP and Acid Horse. So now instead of four reviews, I only have to write one! Up The Irons! (*lifts irons up over head, then continues pressing shirt*)
Let us begin with Pailhead, a dark industrial death-rock sort of project put together by Al and Ian MacKaye of Minor Threat and Fugazi. All six of their songs are GREAT compositions, reminiscent of early Killing Joke with their insistent dead bass hooks and minimalist phrishy fuzz guitar chords. Ian has never sounded so menacing as he does against this ominous backdrop, and every song seethes with underbellied malice that only occasionally erupts into full-scale violence (especially in the hardcore metal riffer "I Will Refuse" and the pulse-pounding condemnation of sex phonelines "Ballad," which finds a near-hysterical Ian screaming "PICK UP THE GODDAMNED PHOOOOOONE!!!!"). And hey Ramones fans - pay close attention to what Ian's singing at the end of "Anthem" -- she's a reference! The only bad thing about these six tracks is that they represent the full output of Al Jourgensen's smartest and most chilling side project of all time. 10 out of 10 for this section of the CD.
My next guest is 1000 Homo DJs, a side project that basically amounts to everybody in Ministry except Paul Barker. Claims have been made that Trent Reznor and Jello Biafra were involved, but I certainly don't hear them. The claims, I mean. I tend to shut my ears when claims come along -- that's what makes me such a successful insurance agent! But before I get sidetracked, let me get Sidetrax up your head with my mad verbiage, yo. The Homo DJs (all 1000 of them) issued one distorted but melodic (and hypnotically repetitive!) industrial single followed by a cover of Black Sabbath's "Supernaut" backed with a fake cop yelling at people. Me, I'm fond of all these tracks - the hopeless "Apathy," desperate "Better Ways," kass-icker "Supernaut" and... vaguely funny "Hey Asshole" - but the latter track drags on a bit long, as I'm sure we're all in agreeance. Still, the vocalist does a picture-postcard-perfect impression of an asshole cop. You can almost HEAR the mustache! The 1000 Homo DJs section receives an 8 out of 10.
That's it for the rockin' out portion of the CD. The remaining five tracks are electronic dance-type house music similar to early Revolting Cocks or Twitch-era Ministry. So if you're in it for the big guitar rock with the long hair, you'd might as well shut down the computer and go take a crap right now. Because that part is OVER, Jack, and it ain't comin' back any sooner than Adam Smith is coming back to pen The Wealth Of Nations 2: Hello Mary Lou. Good riddance to bad rubbing alcohol!
First are three tracks by PTP, the only one of these four side projects to feature Paul Barker. The big draw at the time was the inclusion of Chris Connelly - that's what made it PTP. But see, he just ended up joining Ministry anyway so.... Well, so. PTP wrote one great song built upon silly happy synth noises, a single bass note repeated over and over for six minutes, and low "I'm Too Sexy"-style vocals intoning such vibrant literature as "Tick tick tock, I am the kitchen clock/Tick tick tock, this is my wife/Tick tick tock, I am the kitchen clock/Tick tick tick, this is my KNIFE!" Unfortunately, the other two songs are worthless 80s computer noise synth CRAP! One of them is a previously unreleased track from Robo Cop featuring Ogre from Skinny Puppy on vocals and it's CRAP! I give this section of the CD a 3.333, the nogoodnick portion son of an ass, and it's CRAP!.
Finally, Acid Horse winds up the nilly-nally with Al smacking palms with Chris Connelly and legendary dull electronic outfit Cabaret Voltaire. Each band does an original version of a song called "No Name, No Slogan," and surprisingly, both tracks are as enjoyable as they are completely different from each other! Al's is total RevCo: dance beats, Connelly's low vocals and a wonderfully incongruous steel guitar sample marking the end of each line. Cabaret Voltaire on the other hand speak the lyrics through a vocoder, invent a happy fun bass line and toss in lots of exuberant bouncy keyboard noises jumping up and down on a trampoline eating a tangerine playing a tambourine assfucking Ben Vereen. 8 points. Would get 7 if not for the Ben Vereen assfucking.
So you see, when Al Jourgensen sits around the house, he really sits AROUND not doing anything! Take my wife, for example. PLEASE! Horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "Why the long hair?"
I don't know about Jello Biafra's involvement with 1,000 Homo DJ's, but Trent Reznor is actually the one singing on "Supernaut". TVT (Nine Inch Nails' record label at the time) didn't want him doing projects on other labels and wouldn't let it be released, so rather than re-record the vocals himself, Al just ran them through enough effects to render them unrecognizable. I heard a while ago about a box set of Wax Trax stuff that includes a version with Trent's undisguised vocal, but I haven't actually heard it.
First of all, the "Jesus Built My Hotrod" single, released about seventy-two years earlier and featuring Butthole Surfers's Gibby Haynes on vocals, had kicked my absolute ass all over the place. It was a GREAT SONG. So what does Al do for the album release? Cuts off the awesome chugging intro and sticks the edit after a thrash song so it sounds sluggy in comparison. Then what else does he do? Closes the album with two of the dullest noise pieces since Patti Smith's Horses. Then what further does he do? Puts on three "joke" heavy/punk/hardcore songs. That leaves three tunes. One features the exact same riff as "Burning Inside" from the last album, one is a slow heavy metal song, and one has the same chord sequence as "Feel Like Makin' Love" by... oh, you know who it's by. It's fucking classical music!
So why'd I finally come around? Why'd I end up giving it an 8 when it initially infuriated me so? Because the production is unbelievable, somehow completely making up for the lack of original musical content. The samples are topnotch, as always, and he fools around with tape stops and volume and all kindsa funny whogoesthere. And when you play it really really loud, somehow the tired riffs don't even matter. They're metal, they're (in about half of the cases) speedy, and they "kick arse," as the United Kingders say. It's a poor representation of the creative power and verve of the Ministrys, but that Al, he's got a darn fine ear on his shoulders.
Oh yeah - most people call this album Psalm 69: The Way To Succeed And The Way To Suck Eggs, but it doesn't say that anywhere on my cassette sleeve, so I'm gonna take the road less travelled. I still call Diddy "Sean 'Dogfucker' Combs" too.
Learn to recognise good hard music when you hear it.
well written reviews though. highly entertaining :) don't pay out "Grace" and "Corrosion" though... grr. they rock. "Jesus built" is my least favourite on the CD. "Psalm 69" and "Scarecrow" are my favourite tracks of any band i would say...
What impresses me first; whilst released in 1991, (that's 13 years!), it more than easily stands up to any 'hard' record released today, even surpasses them. Not in a song writing sense, it's all in the production. This paired down,and direct approach, minimalist electronics, computer gizmo's e.t.c. saves it from a specific time frame. I love 'The mind...' it sounds like an early nineties, crossover album... it sounds dated.
'N.W.O' is as relative now as it was then and the George Bush sample is just plain scary. The moment in 'TV2' where the sound drops away is still jaw-dropping. I don't find the noise pieces as pointless, 'Corrosion' is a great dance tune and 'Grace' Oh Lordy! All I can think is they burrowed a hole, with their crack-addled moles and dropped a mic right into hell. Just never try listening in the dark, whilst tripping, not a good move at all.
A fine album and, yes, it kicks arse.
1. The always-excellent but hardly-necessary album version of "N.W.O."
2. A tedious "Extended Dance Mix" that adds introductory feedback, a bit where the bass is removed from the guitar riff, and three extra minutes of parts going on too long -- a treat indeed for all those dance people who go to dance clubs to dance to heavy metal songs.
3. A weak outtake called "Fucked" that's just echoing fuzz blasts and spoken samples over an electronic beat. If you consider "Corrosion" and "Grace" the crowning achievements of KEIANHNO, by all means GET "FUCKED"!
This is the kind of CD-single that gives CD-singles a bad name. Look, Jon Bon Jovi even wrote a song about it:
A song we all own
and 'Fucked' is lame
Alain, you give CD-singles
a bad name (bad name!)
Actually he wrote two! You remember that other one?
It's a CD
In a player it sits
It's worthless (worthless!)
"Extended Dance Mix"!?
Whoa, I nearly forgot the THIRD song that Jon Bon Jovi wrote about it!
This disc is like bad Jourgensen
And bad Jourgensen can suck my peen
Whoa oh oh!
Crud! Then there's that entire album Led Zeppelin wrote about it!
In the days of my youth
I was told what it means to be a CD-single
(*computer creates its own virus, deletes next 250 paragraphs*)
See? It's just CRAZY that Paul McCartney has written nothing but songs about this CD-single for his entire half-century career!
Sometimes it's fun to pick up a bootleg. In this case, it was fun because I had just interviewed "Weird Al" Jourgensen the night before, and because the thought of an acoustic Ministry performance seemed about as illogical as allowing Supertramp to set foot in a recording studio at any point during their existence as a performing unit. Hey, a block of bursting energy just hit me in the face with this thought: If one were to force Jim McGuinn to perform fellatio upon oneself, would Jim argue, "I Wasn't Born To Swallow"?
This fresh CD features recordings of two identical five-track sets performed live at the Shoreline Ampitheatre in Mountainview, CA on October 1st and 2nd, 1994. Although I'm unclear as to why this might be the case, the set list for these two evenings stood as follows: Bob Dylan's "Lay Lady Lay" (previously covered by Hoyt Axton, Kevin Ayers, Booker T. and the MGs, The Byrds, Neil Diamond, Duran Duran, Ramblin' Joe Elliott, the Everly Brothers, Jose Feliciano, Ferrante & Teicher, Richie Havens, Isaac Hayes, Steve Howe, the Isley Brothers, Ben E. King, Albert Lee, Melanie and Cassandra Wilson) an original composition called "Paisley" that (regardless of Al's insistence that it "will be on the next Ministry album") can only be found on the "Lay Lady Lay" single and Escape To L.A. soundtrack, Ten Years After's "Here They Come," The Grateful Dead's "Friend Of The Devil" (previously covered by Counting Crowes, Ramblin' Jack Elliott, Jorma Kaukonen, Lyle Lovett and New Riders of the Purple Sage), and (though it's not listed on the cover for some reason) John Barry's "Theme From 'Midnight Cowboy'" (previously covered by The Bar-Kays, Ray Conniff, The Cows, Floyd Cramer, Martin Denny, Faith No More, Percy Faith, Ferrante & Teicher, Andre Kostelanetz, Henry Mancini, Mantovani, Johnny Mathis, Paul Mauriat and The Shadows). And this is all fine and good because Al Jourgensen actually sounds really nice and friendly singing without a distortion pedal, but you have to listen to it TWICE! You have no choice but to listen to it TWICE! Unless you have a little button on your CD player that allows you to skip tracks, you have to listen to it TWICE! I mean, Hell - I love sex as much as the next guy, but I sure wouldn't want to have sex with the same woman TWICE!
LuKKKily, there are six bonus tracks on here that you only have to listen to once (the amount of times a song SHOULD be heard during a lifetime). These include such dastardly fledglings on the vines of love as the b-side "TV III" (an excitingly slow, shitty, "funk metal" version of the "TV Song" with a wah-wah pedal), a needlessly but enjoyably extended version of "Reload," a cover of Skinny Puppy's lite-electro hit "Smothered Hope," a bunch of noise called "Twitch" that you'd think would have been on Twitch, but NOPE! and two killer early-to-mid-period Ministry effeminate-but-trying-to-be-tough non-album tracks by the name of "Isle Of Man" and "Tonight We Murder." I like them and my plants like them.
Like many people, I enjoy playing music to my plants. It seems to increase the morale of my employees, including the safety inspectors and the Mexicans that I hired to drink the nuclear waste at the end of each workday.
If you're looking for a particularly loud and aggressive form of Ministry, New Revelation is probably not the most worthwhile expenditure of your bootleg dollar. But for the rest of us - those who are charmed by the thought of an industrial metal band doing hippy covers, and who haven't spent thousands of pounds racking up every Ministry b-side under the creation - it's a Goshsend.
Isn't it hilarious that my entire Rush page is like three sentences long and here I've wasted fourteen reams of paper on a Ministry bootleg? That's because my old reviews EAT SMELLY BALL HAIRS!
....while at the same time not including any language quite as deplorable as EAT SMELLY BALL HAIRS!
Wait wait wait. Slooooooow doooooooown. I just had the greatest idea for a new business. It would include a restaurant, a perfume store, a basketball court and a barber shop -- and I would call it:
DINE AROMA HOOPS CUT!
Plus, quite frankly, these tunes kick the living puppy out of the ones on that Godflesh LP. The single, "The Fall" (a damn fine band, by the way), had not a hellball's chance in snow of becoming a popular Buzz Clip, but it's still one of the most hypnotic songs I've heard all year. The chord sequence is bizarre and the piano flourish is beautiful. In fact, the same can be said about most of these tracks. Bizarre but beautiful. The perfectly serious cover of Bob Dylan's "Lay Lady Lay," for example. Why did Al pick that song, you're wondering? Well, I don't know for sure, but let me answer for him anyway; it's because Al, regardless of his "tough guy" image, still recognizes honest beauty when he hears it. And he does the right thing - in this case, justice to Bob's country-western classic. There are no jokes on the record, and only a couple of hints of lightheartedness (the last two tracks), and this is a good thing. Where KEANUREEVESIAU made me feel ripped off, this one feels and sounds like more than my money's worth. Every song is included for a reason, and they all drag on long enough to develop into repetitive mantras of anger and confusion. Good mix, too, as if I had to tell you....
So why only 8? Because if you're going to make every song stylistically identical, you gotta make 'em all amazing. A couple of these aren't. It's still a really good album, though, and deserves to have sold a heck of a lot more copies than it did.
You said something about the ekstra track on the cd version of the mind..... I must say that it is one of my favorites! It's the most "hypnotic" (your word) of them all. Try putting out all the light, bring on your earphones and just listen, it's magic.
But apart from that i agree with most of what you say, and I sense that your are just as fanatic about these guys as I am. It's THE "band" for me.
P.S. Except for one thing. Which tracks on Filth Pig are you talking about when you say they're not Amazing? In my mind this record is worth 11!!!!!
P.P.S. Whats wrong with Danish? :-)
I don't get what's so great about the song "Filth Pig"; it seems so repetitive and sluggish, with no real sampling to spice it up. It's pretty good, not great. Almost every other song on the CD impressed me plenty, especially "Reload" (proving Ministry can still do fast thrash metal), "Lay Lady Lay," and "The Fall."
And if Ministry keeps up its (excellent) musical patterns, it'll never be mainstream; their original (constantly evolving) sound is definitely an acquired taste.
But hell, I like it.
The Fall/Reload - single: 7/10
"T.V. (Song?) III" is great in the extreme (Wha-Wha!). "The
Fall" (Even longer = BETTER!) is the best song since Twitch.
If I had my way, I'd have a 74 min. version
of "The Fall".
Why do you care if Alain is on drugs (Drunk too?), or if he has never touched any of it.
"Reload" and "Lava" kick ass, as does the title track.
If you ever read a review where "weird" is used negatively, ignore it.
And Godflesh: great band, better than Ministry if you ask me. Pure is their weakest, go for the non-remix half of the Slavestate EP. All of Godflesh's very good long play albums would have been perfect EPs. So, in a way, Filth Pig is Ministry's Godflesh album.
GO BUY THAT FUCKIN` CD
One interesting development that might interest those who find interesting developments of interest -- one of the songs features a banjo, and TWO tunes feature avant jazz saxophone wailing!!!!!!
this is a very burnt ministry recording.but it is a little interesting.i have been listening to ministry since 1981 and they did truly come a long way as far as experimental music and the fateful drug abuse. i will give a 7 for this recording. it starts off hard and fast but it loses potential drastically. the best yet of ministry are twitch,land of rape and honey, mind is a terrible thing to taste and in case you didn't feel like showing up {live} i still am curious what ministry will come up with next
Has "Reload" always had that mandolin in it? That kicks ass!!! And how about the way they add an aggressive stutter guitar to "N.W.O."? These songs are awesome!!!! And aside from the two title tracks, these songs are awesome!!!! I give it a NINE!!!! But only an 8, at the same time!!!!
I broke boards in Tae Kwon Do the other day. WIth my FIST. And my HAND. And my ELBOW. And my FOOT. So don't FUCK with me anymore, bullies of the world. I'll break YOU too!!!! Kyeeaaaahh! Cherry-up! Kyin-yang! Pilsan! Mon! Hanna! Du! Siet! Niet! Dasu! Yosu! Ilga! Yodel! Ahop! Yul!
The Koreans love Yul Brynner. While we're on the topic of baldies, supposedly this Rogaine I spray on my head twice a day is WORKING! This is great news, as I spray the roof of my mouth too! The wife says I need to see a therapist again. That I'm "not able to let go of my thoughts" and "filled with incorrect beliefs about life" and "extremely unhappy due to an inability to control my anxiety." Hey, is it MY FAULT that the entire global economy rests on whether my record reviews suck or not?
Oh like you didn't notice? I suppose it was just a COINCIDENCE that the Great Depression occurred the same week I compared Ben Selvin and his Orchestra's "Broadway Melody" to 40 gallons of horse poop crammed inside a saxophone filled with piss?
What I recall from that tour, (I saw them, with a head full of acid, in Nottingham, in QUADAPHONIC sound!), is Rey, the drummer, almost dying whilst drumming Just One Fix, just cause it's so hard. Heh Heh, good memories. That and my entire innards trying to force themselves out of my body during the final, bloody, bass melch at the end of The Fall. The DVD kind of illustrates the mayhem, but Barker kept hitting it for about 3 minutes. It was horrible, because of the anticipation. You knew coming, was another, even louder, even lower, even eviler bass hit and you couldn't escape! Ha!
The gig ended with a deranged Scotsman turning to me and screaming, "It's coming out of the fucking floor!" Memories, you wouldn't trade them.
Menstruation are back with what at first glance appears to be More Of The Same! (M.O.T.S.) After all, you can't spell "aniMOSiTiSOMina" without M.O.T.S.! (Mike's Only Turd Shoe). Industrial metal is yet again on the minds of our friends Paul Barker and Alan Jourgenson, with the doomy pounding and heavy metallic juh-juh-juh crushing chords and heavily distorted shouted vocals doing the same things to your bypass surgery stitches as Dark Side Of The Spoonerism did four years earlier (i.e. knocking them loose so your kidney falls out). But as te CD spins round and round in your defbox mosheen, suddenly some new shifts in the tectonic plates of their musicplan head their ugly rears OH GOD I'M GONNA VOMIT I'M WRITING LIKE CHUCK EDDY
BLAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!! (sploosh sploosh sploosh)
But it really does start off as basic industrial metal -- to the point where the chorus of the first song (a distorted high-register shout of the title) sounds like "Weird Al" Yankovic doing a Ministry parody (and it's every bit as hilarious as his Nine Inch Nails parody "Germs"! Which has NO JOKES in it!).
But as quickly as even the second song, they start making the kind of excellent, thoughtful and ACCESSIBLE songwriting decisions that bring in additional melodicism without pushing the anger and volume to the side at all. On top of its stutter-stop Led Zeppelin-style riffin', "Unsung" has a vocal line that's actually SUNG! It has a VOCAL MELODY! "Lockbox" has an aggressive, loud, smash-and-grab chord riff that's POPPY!!!! Three happyass chords that'll have you bouncing to and fro like a merry flower or man dressed as a flower! "The Light Pours Out Of Me" is a wonderful pop-rock song, featuring a happy NOTE (NOTE!??!?!?) guitar riff that sounds like Blue Oyster Cult at their happiest! "Impossible" is in 7/4 and has a really loud guitar part that only climbs into the left speaker during the second half of each line.... along with a creepy, harrowing, unforgettably sad/gorgeous "chorus" and ANOTHER note-driven riff at the end. "Stolen" has oh hang on I forgot the exclamation point. ! "Stolen" has this weird as shit orange fuzzy cheeto crunchy bright guitar tone that rings, tingles and disorients (especially when a disgusting woozy wind-noise break comes in!). And "Leper" sounds like OLD Ministry! WIth the heavy bass driving the song! For nine minutes!
Sure there's some PISS on it - for example, the song "Piss," which is about as generic as industrial metal gets. Then there's "Broken," a not-awful riff made sickening by "funny" redneck vocals that SUCK BALLS SO HARD THE SKIN POPS OPEN AND THE TWO TESTES FLOW INTO THEIR (the vocals') MOUTH AND GET STUCK IN THEIR THROAT, MAKING THEM TURN BLUE AND POINT AT THEIR THROAT UNTIL FINALLY A WAITER RUNS OVER AND GIVES THEM THE HEIMLICH MANEUVER AT WHICH POINT THE TESTES GO FLYING ACROSS THE RESTAURANT AND LAND IN A RICH SNOOTY OLD WOMAN'S MARTINI. SHE SEES THEM AND SAYS TO HER SNOOTY OLD FRIEND, "OH LOOK! THEY BROUGHT MORE OLIVES!" AND CHEWS THEM UP, SMILING. AND THUS ENDETH MY PROPOSED SCRIPT FOR CADDYSHACK 3. Then there's "Shove," the very definition of why I hate most industrial music - all drama and pounding with no melody at all).
I chose to describe individual tracks for you because, as I pointed out oh so many characters ago, Ansimomiddyabina at first sounds like it has no musical evolution at all. But it does, I tell ya! And I want you to take notice! They try all kinds of different things on here to spruce up the basic "workhouse" Ministry sound. And it works! Goodly!
Goodly PROCTOR, that is! Heh heh heh! There I go again - ending yet another review with an Arthur Miller reference!
(by the way, Arthur wrote another play, it was about a guy named Willie! He friggin kept talkin' to himself - Actin' really silly!)
Just thought I'd throw my thoughts at the wall and see what sticks.
A new Ministry album. Hmmmm. i was weary even to hear this after the banality of 'Dark Side of the Spoon' but I'm the captain of my pain so I shelled out £11.99 from the local Avril Lavigne* superstore, returned to my sordid little grief hole, drew the curtains, rolled a fat 'un, poured me some port and popped the disk into my beaten down player...
Listen 1) Initially overjoyed at Animosity. Mark, I like the chorus/screaming title. There, sod you! Even better is the knackered engine/chuggy chuggy guitar sample intro. Next few tracks; started to have 'Spoon' flashbacks, not pleasant. 'Broken' sounds like Psalm 69 with crap lyrics. Nice keyboards at end though. Then 'Light Pours out of Me'; thinking "this sounds like early Fall (easy guitar line repeated ad infinitum). Impossible wants me to be 16 again^, in a small, dirty club with a huge sound system. Then 'Stolen'. Wow!! This is, ahem, 'the shit.' Instrumental bores me to roll another.
Listen 2) Start to hear the guitar sampling abandon a la The Young Gods. Next few tracks get my toes-a-tapping, (still poor songs, but they can still pull out the loudest drums bar Mr Crover.$. The next 10 mins pass as I decipher the credits and find out 'Light Pours Out...' is a Magazine song, (you know your post-punk Manchester scene don't you Mark?) 'Stolen' gets put on repeat for next 10 mins.
Lots of Port, Sherry, Mead and Weed.
Listen 5, or 6, or blah, blah) There, it all clicks. The best Ministry album since.... who cares! How can a bunch of 45 year olds sound so important? (Not politically, though 'New World Order' sounds so scary now!) Although I wish the whole album sounded like 'Stolen' I realise that would kill them and though I wish 98% of people making music would stop%, I do not wish this on these kind hearted gents.
Nine out of Ten.
A wise man once said, "Never judge an album until you've used up all your Eq settings." If you have itunes I strongly recommend Melvins' H.A.T on Piano.
Inlay/credit notation shenanigan concept.
* Miss Lavingne... I was working in London, freelance editing for a bunch of scallywags when an agent from bmg, (Bertlesman Media Grope), interrupted my hectic schedule so we could do frame grabs for the release of Skater Boy. "He is a fish, She is a horse, could there be anything queasier?". Luckily there was no audio track but I had to go frame by frame, so to grab shots for the Cd single cover. Multiply 25 fps (this is the UK, we don't need an extra 5.33 to rot our brains) by the length of the promo (approx. 3'50") Do the maths, (I don't, I failed maths, luckily 25 is easy to multiply). 5750. How many shots could we find? About ten. Yes TEN!! HOW??? Why didn't they just do shots on the actually shoot? I KNOW bmg have launched mind-control satellites to make the populace consume. And they've poisoned the rivers, streams and oceans, (the pour, pour whales!! oooo eee ooo ooo ooo ee oo ooo ooo ooo ooo oo oo o oo o???? = I ain't shagging you! I'll find myself an orca who likes Chas n'Dave (now Mark, there's a gauntlet thrown your way!) How they missed the shot of the copper chopper's blades whipping up Avril's tie, strangling her, drenching her followers in her blood, thus creating a new, true martyr. THAT would sell a record!!!
^ I'm glad I'm not 16. I remember, I hated being 16. Too many people, cowards and criminals. Throwing up black sick on the bedroom walls, waking up my dad who had to be at work 4 hours later, seeing an expression which I NEVER want to see again EVER.
$ Oh can he drum! Melvins' H.A.T is the only album you'll need post Mr Bush and Mr Blairs crazy summer holiday.
% Maybe that should be qualified as people releasing music! I make music and, though it tickles me, it's CRAP!
News from Air Strip One.
Don't be fooled by Ali G. He's washed up. Look for Avid Merrion. A loon. You won't buy Robbie Williams. Good on you! THATS the reason I put to shame all these lobotomised Anti-American arseholes in this sordid little country. Did you know you have to pay £5 per day to enter London. You could offer me £5 million and I still wouldn't enter that shit hole! There's a trial going on concerning 'Who wants to be a millionaire' 'tis alleged the contestant had 4 pagers strapped to his limbs so moles could page him the correct answer. He did win the million. (Though how a subterranean mammal could operate a pager beats me!) Also alleged a serious of coughs raised alarm too. (Was the leader of the torries implicit too?) Can you lot do better? The Scaramanga Six have released an album you lot might like. Go to Wrath Records (a dot UK). Mark, they're tight Northern Bastards so they won't send you one. (Yes I read your pre-amble, stop whining, get to work!) Buy it. I'm not in the band, nor have anything to do with the label. As I said, my music's crap SO SHOULD NEVER BE RELEASED!!!!!!!! Keep up the site. Your wisdom is faulty, but from the heart. And you pet dog is smashing.
To myself: shut up NOW!
You'll never see my like again.
Oh, and who the hell told you about my only turd shoe??? I really try to keep that sort of thing private, but I guess there's just no trusting some people...
I hate for my first comment to be a whiny lil' asspick of an observation, but whaddayaknow? It ain't stoppin' me. I figured that since "The Light Pours
Out Of Me" was mentioned a couple of times it might be worth pointing out that the track is a Magazine (Howard Devoto's post-Buzzcocks project, few other notable names involved) cover. It's on a bunch of their albums: "Play" (live and probably closed to Ministry's version), "Real Life" (probably the best, angstiest version) and "An Alternative Use Of Soap" (North American promo album w. demos, etc, pretty weak version of the track).
Beyond that, not much to say: thus far the only record released this year I've liked more than "Animositisomina" is the new Wire album. Here's hoping Al gets that Ministry/ohGr/Rev Co festival together!
A more appropriate name for the LP might be I Hate You, Ronald Reagan! because the album not only features George W. Bush samples in about half of the songs (including the hilroarious cut-and-splice "I have a message for the people of Iraq: Go home and die."), but eight of the nine song titles begin with the letter "W" (though "WTV" is kinda pushing it for YET ANOTHER FUCKING SEQUEL TO "TV SONG"), the ninth is a follow-up to the George H.W. Bush slam "N.W.O." entitled (ya'all ready for this?) "No W." Now that's honestly clever! I LOVE that! Actually, some of the lyrics take half-brained swipes at hizzoner of stupid assholeness too, but not in a way that will impress anyone over age 19 (unless you're driven wild by dopey third-grade level rhymes like "Whoever told you that you were bright/The skull and bones, the conservative right/You're like a plague turning day into night." I'm so SICK of third graders making references to the Yale's Skull and Bones Society. Jesus, is it all those eight-year-old liberal fuckheads ever TALK about?? FUCK YOU, THIRD GRADER FUCKHEADS!!!
If you've ever visited my site before, you may have noticed that for quite some time, I had given scores of 8 out of 10 to both Animositisomina and Dark Side Of The Spoon. This was a mistake. I listened very closely to both CDs recently, and both of them have way too many shitty songs to earn more than a 7 on my United Nations-approved Grading Scale. Thus, I lowered them both to a 7 in demonstration of their inferiority to the previous four Ministry studio albums. But the 8 out of 10 I award herein for this brand new CD is for real. I keep listening to the CD over and over and although it doesn't bowl me over with any sort of groundbreaking industrial noise mania, it nevertheless entertains me clear through from beginning to end, and quite often makes me bang my head excitedly too, like a younger man or teen would. The guitars are loud as helclk, the drums and vocals are more distorted than your vision after drinking 15 pints of Goldschlager! WHOO!!OO! BEER AND ALCOHOL!!!!! and most importantly, there are NO lousy songs on here. There are some ANNOYING ones, certainly, but only in the interest of intensity (e.g. continuously using the deafening sounds of machine gun fire as a double-bass drum break in "Waiting") and good humor (g.e. smith: interrupting "WTV"'s smile-making samples galore with unforgivably distracting high-speed guitar/drum SMASH SMASH SMASH attacks). Otherwise it's smooth sailing through piles of stripped-down riffage and one really great midtempo scrape-and-trudge basher called "WKYJ" that sounds like Husker Du and Helmet have come together for a Jamcon '84. It's good good good! Good good good! And remember - "Good" spelled backwards is "Dog"!
Well, I mean a really long dog. Like a dachshund.
If I may finish my review with two assholish comments -- (A) the chord changes in the album's sole epic "Worm" sound awfully similar to those of Wire's "40 Versions" (but with a beautiful lead guitar on top - TO BE FAIR). And (A.1) the "rockin' out" section of "Worthless" sounds dangerously similar to that of Kansas's rock and roll classic "Carry On Wayward Son," hereforth to be referred to as "Worst Song Ever."
Must go, phone is ringing & I bet it's telesales again!! Yes it was, that silent salesman... so shit at his job!!
Howdy folks! Mark Prindle here with your Wacky Weather Weport! (*bright yellow umbrella pops down from ceiling, accompanied by comical BOING! noise*) Looks like rain today (*bright yellow stain appears on crotch of white pants, accompanied by comical PISS! noise*) - FUCK! I PISSED MY MOTHERFUCKING PANTS! (*cut to commercial*)
Yes, those were good times. But we can't live in the past. Unless our names are Paul McCartney, that is! Have you read his semi-autobiography Many Years From Now? I ask because a few things in it are freakin' me right on ass-out and I wanted to discuss them with you. Please note that this is not a 'joke' portion of the review. I hereby quote Paul McCartney directly from pg. 28 of this book:
(about his mother): "At night there was one moment when she would pass our bedroom door in underwear, which was the only time I would ever see that, and I used to get sexually aroused. Just a funny little bit. I mean, it never went beyond that but i was quite proud of it. I thought, 'That's pretty good.' It's not everyone's mum that's got the power to arouse."
(about he and his friends' 'masturbation circles'): "We used to have wanking sessions when we were young at Nigel Whalley's house in Woolton. We'd stay overnight and we'd all sit in armchairs and we'd put all the lights out and being prepubescent boys we'd all wank. What we used to do, someone would say 'Brigitte Bardot.' 'Ooh!' that would keep everyone on par, then somebody, probably John (Lennon), would say, 'Winston Churchill.' 'Oh no!' and it would completely ruin everyone's concentration."
So, to summarize: (1) Paul McCartney got a boner looking at his mom and (B) Paul McCartney and John Lennon used to do circle jerks together.
Say! Anyone up for some Rolling Stones?!?
On a related note, what the frigerator is the point of this new Ministry CD? Who is the audience supposed to be? It only has two new songs! The rest are 'remixes' of old songs. It's not a 'greatest hits,' nor is it much of a bargain for the fanbase who actually still buy Ministry albums (which, judging from recent record sales, appears to be... me). So what's the point? Just to put something cheap out there to try and make a few dollars in an off-year? Even stupider is this new Nirvana CD. Have you seen this? "The Best of the Box"? Let me explain something here -- anybody who cares enough about Nirvana to want to hear a bunch of their demos and outtakes ALREADY BOUGHT THE BOX. Who does DGC expect to purchase a single CD featuring the 'highlights' of a bunch of outtakes!? The Dumbest Man In America!? Well, I already asked and Chevy Chase has no interest.
But back to Ministry's Rantology for a second. First of all, the album cover looks like it was put together by an 8-year-old Rolling Stones fan. It is by far the worst Ministry CD cover of all time - and I'm saying this as a person who until two weeks ago thought that the cover of Land Of Rape And Honey was just a big purple cloud! Secondly, though it boasts "reduxes," "update mixes" and "alternate mixes" of eight different songs, only TWO of them sound like Al has bothered doing anything to them. (These would be "No W," which starts with a long scary Church choir, and "N.W.O.," which now incorporates George W. Bush samples alongside the George H.W. Bush originals; "Jesus Built My Hotrod" has a different Gibby intro too, but who gives a shit?) Thirdly, the three live tracks are pulled directly from Sphinctour (what - is that the only concert they've ever recorded? Come on - put some EFFORT into your product!) And fourthly, the two new songs aren't very good. They're not terrible, but they're not great.
Okay, generally speaking, what we have is a compilation of loud metallic songs by Ministry, many of which are great but some of which simply aren't. More specifically, we have eight remixes, one song from a video game, one new track scheduled to appear on Ministry's 2006 studio release, and five songs pulled directly from Sphinctour, Houses of the Mole and Animositisomina. Even more specifically, to the point of being anal, we have four Houses Of The... tracks, three Psalm 69, two Animositisominanimositisominanimositetc, and one each from The Mind Is..., The Land Of..., Filth Pi..., Dark Side Of The..., their next album, and a popular videogame whose name I've forgotten. (The song's called "Hey Ms. Pac-Man, Keep On Rockin' Along" if that's any help.)
Ministry's production has certainly improved over the years - it's astonishing how quiet and harmless "Jesus Built My Hotrod" sounds alongside the violently-loud-and-distorted-as-ALL-HELL Houses Of The... songs. But everyone who's anyone knows how spotty their studio records have been been since Psalm 69. So what a wonderful relief that this highlights compilation is ALSO SPOTTY BECAUSE HE PICKED SO MANY WRONG SONGS!!! What the fuck is "Bad Blood" doing on here? It's the exact same chord sequence as "No W." but SLOWER! And "Animosity"? Is there a worse track on that album? I don't think so! And yes, it's cute, but "Psalm 69" is NOT A SONG. It's a goof! And not even a goof that ages well! At least Al was 'with it' enough to make sure that the AWESOME "Thieves," "Stigmata," "Unsung," "Wrong," "Warp City" and "The Fall" made the cut. Those are some kickass ass-kickers! But wait -- if you're reading this web page, don't you OWN them already? And if you're not reading this web page, what are you - too good for this web page? Well, I got news for you, Mr. Fancypants Too Good For This Web Page -- Eat shit!
Let me close by briefly discussing the two songs you might not have heard. "The Great Satan" certainly doesn't give me hope that the next album will be as good as the last one; essentially it sounds like a weak outtake from that record. Sounds just like those fast loud yellers - even down to the George W. Bush samples - but hindered by a basic, boring chord sequence. The videogame song, "Bloodlines," begins as a sickeningly obvious rip-off of "So What," but soon develops its own personality in the form of a neat bass/guitar line. Unfortunately, that's the only good part of the song and they repeat it for 45 minutes when not switching to the other, crappier part.
Can you get a copy of this CD cheap and/or free? Then by all means, do so! Have you not heard any Ministry since Twitch and are eager to hear what they've been up to for the larger portion of your life? This is the album for you! Otherwise, ask yourself the question I asked myself after paying $9 for this pointless retread: "Why the hell did I buy this?"
But ask it to yourself BEFOREHAND, see.
I know it can get confusing, and you might look around the room trying to figure out what you bought that you're now having doubts about, but that's perfectly normal. This is because I've hypnotized you. You may not have noticed but this entire review is shaped like a stopwatch swinging slowly back and forth! When I clap my hands, you will wake up and remember one thing: "Men who write shitty record reviews also have huge puds and can make love all night like a stallion."
(*CLAP!*)
No no -- I said "like a stallion"! Please take your pet stallion away at this instant!
(*goes to Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr's house; jerks off with them*)
However, a few days after being bored to death with this album, I read that Al is working with Tommy Victor, Paul Raven, and the drummer from Slipknot (the masked one) for the new album/tour. It's good to see Tom Thumb and Pill Rivets working together again after such a nasty split up. That Great American Jeff Gordon Pewter Train Set debacle was just the straw that broke the camel's back.
Tim Victory also played on the last Danzig album, but that was a piece of shit anyway. By the way, Martin Atkins hates Prong; said they were a Killing Joke cover band.
Regardless, I hope the new Ministry album isn't another 12 tracks of how a Republican politician is evil. Quite a revelation there Al.
"Janie's Got Nice Buns"
"Janie's Got The Runs"
"Henry's Got A Tongue"
"What did his daddy do? Made the bathroom smell like poo"
Yes, my wife and I certainly make a hilarious team!
(Possible punchlines include: "Not a sports team though, so stop watching us with binoculars asshole" OR "A team of SPERM, that is!" OR "If they turn out not to be funny, we take our lovemaking skills elsewhere")
Some time ago, I made a remark on www.markprindle.com to the following effect: "'The Great Satan' certainly doesn't give me hope that the next album will be as good as the last one; essentially it sounds like a weak outtake from that record. Sounds just like those fast loud yellers - even down to the George W. Bush samples - but hindered by a basic, boring chord sequence."
Well, that goes double for the new album.
(?)
Rio Grande Blood is what happens when Alain Jourgensen records three complete studio albums in less than three years. He runs out of songs, but keeps pressing 'record' anyway. Public Enemy did something similarly boneheaded, releasing two complete albums in a single year and making the handful of us who still follow the old bags sit through the appropriately-named New Whirl Odor. So from now on, I'm going to refer to Ministry as "The Public Enemy Of Industrial Metal."
When Paul "Terminator X" Barker decided to retire from The Public Enemy Of Industrial Metal in 2004, there were some who said it didn't really matter because Alain "Chuck D" Jourgensen has always really been the mastermind behind the band. But sources close to the band report that this isn't the case at all, and that Alain has a bad habit of claiming more credit than is due him. Rio Grande Blood would certainly support such a supposition, as new writing partner Tommy "Sister Souljah" Victor (of Prong fame) is apparently incapable of writing anything other than listless, hookless heavy metal riffs filled with stupidass false harmonics. These songs are certainly heavy and full of speedin' thrash parts (though several of the songs are mostly slow or midtempo, nearly every track has at least one thrash section), but aside from the Houses Of The Mole-worthy title track and Middle Eastern industrial trance drone metal "Khyber Pass," they're also pretty much interchangeable. And not in a good way, like a Ramones album or underage quintuplets or a Motorhead album.
Lyrically, The P.E.O.I.M. continue to attack the George W. Bush regime with wacky sample manipulation ("I am a brutal dictator!" announces Mr. Bush at one point, before concluding "I'm an asshole!"), accusatory lyrics ("LIES! LIES! LIES! LIES! LIESLIESLIES!), and self-explanatory song titles ("Senor Peligro," "Fear Is Big Business," "Ass Clown" and aforementioned "The Great Satan"). However, the vocals remain heavily distorted and difficult to understand, so prepare to listen very closely if you want to know Al's specific feelings towards such topics as Halliburton, Hugo Chavez, 9/11 conspiracy, Osama Bin Laden and the Marine Corps (in a terrible song with one great line: "I'm gonna stick my dick in your nose!"). Small hint: Al Jourgensen has been known to socialize in liberal circles.
If you're looking for nothing more than loud, aggressive industrial metal, these songs certainly fit the bill of sales. Plus, aside from the plodding Marine Corps send-up "Gangreen" and aurally irritating "Yellow Cake" (ugly high-pitched swizzly keyboards accompanied by a nothing chord sequence), none of the songs are honestly bad. They're just kinda "eh," as if the band went into the studio one day and just pounded out one track after another after another, with as much melodic forethought as Metallica put into the dreadful St. Anger. Rio Grande Blood isn't quite that lame, but if Al doesn't take a year or two off to refresh his Idea Bag, their next album may very well be.
Having said that, "Ass Clown" (featuring Jello "Flavor Flav" Biafra) stands out by featuring an odd, mechanical clinky-clunk hammer attack instead of a melody, and the Slayer ri(po)ff of "Senor Peligro" kicks so much ass, donkeys have to strap pillows on their hindquarters whenever it comes on.
Just FYI, the other musicians on this work include bassist Paul "Terminator X" Raven (Killing Joke), guitarist Mike "Professor Griff" Sciacca (Ministry), drummer Joey "Media Assassin Harry Allan" Jordison (Slipknot) and keyboardist John "Bunch Of Dancing Black Guys" Bechdel (Prong). Is it thus any wonder that there's hardly any butt-jiving disco pop on here at all? Come on Al; when are we finally going to get the sequel to With Sympathy we've all been waiting for down here at the muscle gym?
One final observation, and this is directed towards you there at home. Hey you! Up there in your room, always playing with your broom - can you hear me? Hey you! With your ear against the wall, always playing with your ball - can you hear me? If so, do you own a guitar? If the answer is yes, go pick it up.
You got it? Okay. Now -- without thinking about it all, start playing a thrash song -- NOW!
Hear that? That's half the songs on this album!
Unfortunately you now owe significant royalties to Ministry's publishing company.
No, I know you don't have to pay royalties just for playing another band's song, but I unfortunately recorded what you were playing, pressed it onto CD and sold 500,000,000 copies of it under the title "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Veep, the new album by Ministry."
Sorry about that, in retrospect.
* Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Veep, The New Album By Ministry - The Mark Prindle Record Company 2006 *
I don't know, I guess when I look at it song by song like that I can understand a bit of a low rating, but I love the album. Maybe it's the thrash metalist lover at heart in me, but I think it rocks to throw it on the loud stereo and go crazy. My favorite album of the last year or so, easily. Maybe it's because I only care about the music part of the album, anything that is just nonstop thrash I'll love, and I couldn't care less what they're singing about. Also, from this album I thought the new lineup was killer, but from the reviews of the live Houston show which I didn't get to make(being 16 years old with a worried mother and a couple hours from the only town around here that gets anything sucks) everyone's saying it's mixed real bad and that Joey SUCKS on the drums ruining the band's old material.
I'd give the album a 9 personally or at least a strong 7 for a harsh grade.
Your statement about sources close to Al saying he takes too much credit is interesting. I know after this album leaked online a few people on the Ministry forums were complaining that Tommy Victor ruined Ministry, forcing them to become Slayer-lite or something. My take is that some of the diehards were pissed that Al made another "buttmetal" album instead of The Land of Rape & Honey part 2, and found a convenient scapegoat.
Also, what is it with snobbish industrial fans and that "buttmetal" term? I mean, I'm sure the soundtrack of choice on Fire Island is more likely With Sympathy than something like Master of Puppets.
Bad news for those that are tired of Al's recent lyrical content. A recent Billboard interview with Al said the next album will be Ministry's last, and will be about Bush again. I'm not above Bush bashing but this is just boring by now.
I will be seeing them live, so it's unfortunate that I read they aren't as good in the reviews. Guess it's because Slipknot sucks! Too bad they couldn't get Ted Parsons on the drums!
So what's with this Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Veep album? How can I get me a copy?
This video is straight up the WORST cover of a Beatles's song ever made. It would have blown my mind hearing Jourgenson play something this terrible 10 years ago.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvAYxxj0PtU
This is an alternate vision of Rio Grande Blood as fondled through the minds and fingers of Clayton Worbeck (guitarist: Stayte, Revolting Cocks) and John Bechdel (keyboardist: Fear Factory, Prong). They did Industrial Music fans a solid by erasing most of the corny metal licks, but poured the rest of the world a liquid by making the songs even less melodic than they already were! Instead of straightforward BUTTmetal songs for your BUTT to enjoy, Al's distorted screamed rants are now set to a backdrop of slow dancey beats, electronic effects, and stereophonic swoops, shwishies and suckles. They throw all kinds of oddness into the mix, but only a few tracks are sufficiently dynamic to hold the interest of listeners not stoned on Magical(TM) Mushrooms(R). Nevertheless, it's still better than Rio Grande Pud.
You hear me? Rio Grande DUMB is better than Rio Grande PUD!!!
And don't even get me STARTED on Rio Grande CRUD!!!!!
That's a version I made, where I keep interrupting the songs to shout "Penis!" Some argue that this version should have been named Rio Grande PUD but, as you can see, that title was already taken.
Highlights include:
Actually, one sec. You know that magazine Highlights For Children? Why is the phrase For Children in the title? Isn't it pretty obvious by features like "Goofus & Gallant" that the magazine is geared towards a younger demographic? As such, my single dedicated goal in life is take over the company and start publishing the companion periodical Highlights For Adults, where you have to spot the differences between two couples fuckin or find the hidden objects in some whore's snatch, the slut. Hold your cocks and cunts because Highlights For Adults will be the suckinest, fuckinest, boninest and groaninest magazine around -- with tits, clits and dicks on every sweaty pink page and hole!!! In this way, I will show my support for the First Amendment, and political.
Highlights of Rio Grande Dub include:
- a very pretty guitar harmonics motif in the stupidly titled "Rio Grande Blood (Rio Grande DUB Ya Mix)"
- Two different mean, speedy takes on one of the original disc's best songs, in the meaninglessly titled "Lieslieslies (Cognitive Dissonance Mix)" and "Lieslieslies (Known Unknown Lies Mix)"
- A cool-as-wicked octave-jumping bass line and Arabic vocal wash in the embarrassingly titled "Khyber Pass (TX Bush Ranch Mix)"
- Three wonderfully incongruous sad chords that completely change the mood of the humiliatingly titled "Gangreen (Kiss Me Goodnight Mix)"
- A delightfully bouncy bass line in the poorly titled "Senor Peligro (La Zona Peligrosa Mix)"
- The brilliantly dark synth-based tone of the obviously titled "Fear Is Big Business (Weapons of Mass Deception Mix)"
Lowlights include:
- Five and a half minutes of NOTHING GOING ON AT ALL in the wittily titled "Palestina (72nd Virgin Mix)"
Remix albums are usually pretty worthless, but I must to some extent throw my support out to this one. By taking a mediocre album, stripping away all of the most irritating elements, and injecting emotional states that were not previously present, Messers Worbeck and John Bechdel have managed to fashion a parasite release that is musically superior to its host! There's still not enough going on to warrant more than a 6 out of 10 (most of the songs introduce one great idea at the beginning and then just ride it for four minutes), it's a definite improvement on Rio Grande DUD!
Oh sorry, that's the copy I had in my tote bag when the Milk Duds spilled and melted all over everything. It's not very good at ALL!
This is Ministry's third anti-George W. Bush album, which is weird because I was sure they were going to support his recent 'don't give any money to dying little kids' veto. Instead, they're ranting and raving about such hearty topics as:
- The Iraq War: "Let's go for a government based on greed/Let's go for the final attack/Let's go for a war in Iraq/Let's go for starting up World War III"
- The Iraq War: "Bodies and limbs scattered all over town/It's all I ever see/Go back home to the same old shit/There's nothing here for me"
- The Iraq War: "One thing's for certain/We fucking work for Haliburton/One thing is clear/They're the fucking reason why we're here"
- The Iraq War: "Stuck in the middle of a civil war/Well what the fuck do you expect?/Our occupation of other nations/Is bound to have a fucking violent effect"
- Our reprehensible president: "I got others who tell me what to say/I'm like an actor in a tragic play/They give me speeches I can't understand/It doesn't matter as long as no one else can"
- Our reprehensible vice-president: "You know he's evil, he's not of this race/He used a shotgun to blow off a face"
- The recent domestic spying/wiretap shenanigans: "Watch yourself/Someone wants information/Watch yourself/Someone wants your deportation"
- Confusing metaphors: "Blood is the fist of authority/Pestilence is my rabid dog unchained"
- Waking up in the morning and getting yourself a beer: "Well I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer."
- Using the word 'strife' because you can't think of anything else that rhymes with 'life': "Can you feel the pressure of life?/You surviving through the mess and the strife?"
- A shitty song: "Revelations, dissipation, condemnation, dissolution/Do you feel like you're under a gun?/Desperation, condemnation, indignation, terror nation/That's what the world is today! Hey! Hey!"
I am a big fan of this album, and if you like banging your head to fast, frill-free, fectious hardcore/crossover/metal with industrial rhythms, distorted vocals and occasional samples, so am you! A couple of first-half tunes falter a bit in midtempo whatever-isms, and "End Of Days Part One" is a stupid sluggish stab at Stoner Metal but the rest are topnotch Ministry aucktion. Note the rhythmic telephone noises and emotional chorus of "Watch Yourself"; the "Double Vision"-reminiscent classic rock chords of the title track; the honest-to-god punk rock of "Die In A Crash"; the hilariously twisted speed metal cover of "Roadhouse Blues"; and the harrowing high-pitched chords and creepy Eisenhower premonitions of "End Of Days Part II." Note all these things, and then go slam dance your asp off to "Death And Destruction"! Oi! (*runs around in a circle*)
The guitars are exceedingly heavy, the politics are heavily liberal, and the volume is liberally excessive VICIOUS CIRCLE CIVICOU CIRD
Allen Jerginsin insists that this will be the final Ministry album, and if so this is a great way to go. But surely he realizes that none of these last three albums are going to age worth a flying shit. It doesn't matter how cool the music is; if Sgt. Pepper's had been a concept album about Lyndon Johnson, it would be dead in the water too. (ex: "What would you think if I sang out of tune/Would you arrange for the Kennedy brothers to be assassinated?"; "We're Sgt. Peppers' Lonely Hearts Club Band/We hope you didn't just make up the Gulf of Tonkin Incident as an excuse to escalate the war in Vietnam"). And how many times have you listened to your David Frye albums since Dick Nixon got impeacherated? The answer is ZERO, and it's a damn (fucking) shame because that was Prog Rock to rival the best of Cactus.
In final, if you liked Houses Of The Mole', you'll probably like this. The only sad thing is that "The Last Sucker" isn't another hilarious parody of a famous '70s classic rock album (a la Dark Side Of The Spoon, Houses Of The Mole', Rio Grande Blood). As a result, I have developed a list of 20 appropriate CD titles for potential Alain Jourgensen projects in the years to come. If you are not Allan Jorgensen, these are not meant for you; don't use them. They're for Alien Jourgenson and Alan Jorgensoun alone:
After The Gold Bush
Vol. War
Agents Of Wartune
L.A. Warman
Brain Salad Perjury
Toys In The Haddock
Sticky Dingers
Tales From Topographic Lotions
The Who By Plumbers
Darkness On The Edge Of Clown
Aquadung
Moonprance
Band On The Runs
The Rise & Fall of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Jars
Layla And Other Assorted Love Dongs
Pronounced Leh-Nerd Skin-Terd
Still Crazy After All These Queers
Don't Look Yak
Goodbye Yellow Dick Load
Welcome To My Shite Bear
And there you have it - the next 20 Revolting Cocks albums!
Unless Bob Seger wants one. Those in the know say he's 'all about' molding his feces into little animal shapes.
The “I Hate George W. Bush” trilogy has some great songs, but good fucking God do these albums blend together into one gigantic blur. You could make the best Ministry album ever by picking the ten best songs from the trilogy, but none of the records are anything I’m interested in listening to from start to finish.
I think these records suffer from two problems: Al’s misguided belief that he must release every single song he writes, and the absence of Paul Barker. Remember how weird Ministry albums used to be? Where the hell did that go? Paul must have responsible for a lot of the personality that seems to have been lost after he left.
Smelly Hippy: "Hey man, is that Cover Up?"
Dirty Filthy Bearded Monstrosity: "Yeah!"
Smelly Hippy: "Then turn it up!"
(use your mouse to roll the titles slowly up the screen, simultaneously reading each one out loud really excitedly)
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"Bang A Gong (Get It On)" - T. Rex
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"Radar Love" - Golden Earring
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"Space Truckin'" - Deep Purple
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"Black Betty" - Ram Jam
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"Mississippi Queen" - Mountain
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"Just Got Paid" - ZZ Top
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"Roadhouse Blues" - The Doors
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"Supernaut" - Black Sabbath
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"Lay Lady Lay" - Bob Dylan ... 1969 actually, but close
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"Under My Thumb" - Rolling Stones... that's not very close at all
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"What A Wonderful World" - Louis Armstrong... wait that's not even the right genre
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Smelly Hippy: "Hey man, are you sure that's Cover Up?
Dirty Filthy Bearded Monstrosity: (*lies dead in a puddle of LSD juice*)
Smelly Hippy: "Aaaaaaaaah" (*flails arms*)
Yes, 'Ministry And Co-Conspirators' have released an album of loud and distorted but otherwise faithful cover tunes of some of the greatest rock songs ever written. You can tell that they love these songs not only by the way they faithfully stick to the original arrangements, but by the clear excitement in their voices as they wail away at these pillars of FM Radio back before it sucked so much shit that your anus literally got stuck to the tuner. Then again, how could you not get excited singing "Radar Love"!? It's only one of the kickassiest hard rock songs of all time! Strangely, they play the bass line wrong. The jury's out on that one.
Okay, now they're back in. GUILTY.
Come on, how fucking hard is it to play three notes, Bass Person? Why drop it to two? Who benefits from this decision? Otherwise, THANK YOU FOR PLAYING THIS GREAT FUCKING SONG!!!!
Keyboards make a welcome return to the Ministry universe in the sexy goth Stones cover and Hammond-happy Deep Purple bustdown, but the guitars are still thick and loud as all living hell. Guest vocalists include Fear Factory's Burton C. Bell and Prong's Tommy Victor (I know he's actually in Ministry too, off my back), as well as a 'John Bradford' and one 'Casey Chaos' (NOTE: THIS IS PROBABLY NOT HIS REAL NAME). An early press release claimed that Cheap Trick's Robin Zander would also take part, but he doesn't appear to have shown up that day -- probably sleeping late with the cover of The Beatles' "I Want You (She's So Happy)" they said would be on here. Still, who can complain about a song list like this?! If you like rock music at all, you'll be pumping your fist from the first keyboard rays of "Under My Thumb" (complete with rewrite "I can still fuck someone else") through the closing strains of Al's a capella "Stigmata" parody. And if you don't like rock music, GET THE HELL OFF THE MINISTRY PAGE YOU JAZZ ASSHOLE.
One minor complaint if I may: three of these songs were previously available on other Ministry releases, leaving only 38 new minutes of cover tune goodness. If the goal was to create a complete compilation of Ministry cover material, fine -- but then why did they leave off "The Light Pours Out Of Me"? Ohhhh, can I never win!?
And don't worry - Ministry's cover of "Bang A Gong" is much louder than The Power Station's version, "Black Betty" is much heavier than Nick Cave's version, "Just Got Paid" is much more metallic than Rapeman's version, and "What A Wonderful World" is much prettier than Joey Ramone's version. Until the second half when he starts screaming at the top of his lungs. UNTIL THAT POINT, however, the prettiness is endemic, thanks to lovely reverbed piano and orchestration. Then he starts screaming and it all goes to Hell in a Handcart, but UNTIL THAT PO
Cover Up is enjoyable enough to earn a 9 but that would be ridiculous. It's all cover tunes! All they did was pick great songs, play them louder and put distortion on their voices. How could they fail?
Nevertheless, be aware that as you gaze longingly at the 8 red dots I've awarded the latest Ministry opus, I'm secretly enjoying it at a 9-level.
I find the song selection largely second rate (excluding "Under My Thumb" and "Just Got Paid") even if you think they are "some of the greatest rock songs ever written".
"Under My Thumb" took a couple of listens, but I eventually got it. "Radar Love" sucks when they are singing but damn Ministry went just insane on the solo part and it is truly awesome. I fully enjoyed the cover of "Just Got Paid" (Oh by the way, Mark and I have been discussing this, if you are a record company and reading this - please sign ZZ Top - their last album showed that they still have something to give).
"Bang a Gong", "Space Truckin", "Mississippi Queen", "Roadhouse Blues", and "Supernaut" were third rate songs to begin with and nothing I ever wanted to hear covered - Ministry didn't change my mind.
And why is the Resident's singer doing "What a Wonderful World"?
I would give this a 6/10 in my book.
If you want to heard a good recent cover album, I would strongly suggest Patti Smith's "Twelve". Her covers of the Stones and Beatles are better than the originals.
Fucking lame.
As you may have suspected from the previous two Ministry live albums, these performances sound an awful lot like their studio counterparts. The only difference evident to me is that "No W" has a great live galloping drumline that drowns out the synth horns nicely. As such, it's definitely not a must-own for anybody with any intention of purchasing the three studio albums from which it samples its wares. On the other hand, if you never trusted Ministry in the first place, this'll show you how much thrash metal ass they kicked at the end of their career!
And by "end of their career," I of course mean "their never-ending retirement plan."
As luck would have it, I was accidentally faxed a list of upcoming Ministry releases so I thought I'd share them with you here privately on the Internet:
Adios... Puta Madremixes CD -- Remixed version of the live farewell CD
Cover That Revolting Cock! -- Ministry performing covers of Revolting Cocks classics
Adios... Puta Madremixes LIVE! CD -- Live performance of the remixed version of the live farewell CD
Put Your DICK In My BUSH: The Best Of The George W. Bush Years -- Greatest hits compilation featuring the first five songs on The Last Sucker, the first four songs on Houses Of The Mole, the first two songs on Rio Grande Blood and then two other songs from that album
We'll Miss You, Ministry! -- Ministry performing covers of Ministry classics, as a way of saying 'thanks' to all their fans
So Long, Everybody! Remember THIS Album? -- Reissue of The Land Of Rape And Honey with new title
What A Long, Strange Trip It's Been: Ministry Talks About Its Retirement -- Spoken-word triple-CD
Hi, You've Reached The Home Of Ministry. Sorry We Can't Come To The Phone Right Now, But We're Retired! -- CD of outgoing answering machine messages
Been Nice Knowin' Ya! Best, Ministry -- Autographed shower cap
Actually, Obama's Not Doing A Very Good Job -- Brand new CD of all-new material
Not that I don't love Ministry or Uncle Al. I saw them live (coincidentally at the venue where Adios... Puta Madres was supposedly recorded) and they were really good, I got very sweaty. And people have different opinions, I guess. It was cool because I found these guys a few years ago, and now all my 'Shoot Meh Agen I Ain't Dead Yit' friends listen to The Min. That's got to count for something.
Peace.
But enough of my chit-chatting with Al. Hey reader -- remember the first time you heard The Last Sucker? And how disappointed you were that it was filled with speedy thrash songs instead of high-pitched tuneless shitnoise? Well, your luck is in Mr. Horse because that day is here! Revolting Cocks keyboardist Clayton Worbeck has come to the rescue, slowing down the beats tenfold and replacing all the heavy guitars with painfully trebly piles of clicking, buzzing and swirling electronic racket. I'd almost be willing to bet that Alain Jourgensen didn't even listen to this whole thing before approving it for release. If he did, why on Earth would he want the Ministry name to be associated with such an unlistenable piece of amateurish, talentless de-mixing? The Last Sucker was a very strong final studio album; did the Ministry camp seriously believe they could improve it by erasing all the melodies?
Upon the release of Rio Grande Blood three and a half years ago, a former member of Ministry opined to me that Al would probably put out as much stuff as he could as quickly as possible because he knows that his music-making (and thus money-making) days are numbered. Since that conversation, Al has released 5 Ministry albums (1 studio, 1 covers, 1 live, 2 remix) and 3 Revolting Cocks albums (1 studio, 2 remix). That's EIGHT ALBUMS within a span of 42 months -- an average of one full-length release every five months. Are they worth listening to? A few are, but most are just ripoffs. It's all cynical and profit-oriented. Then again, in a world where record sales are gutted up to 60% by illegal downloading, maybe a schedule like this is the only way to make any money at all.
I recently had dinner with two record company executives who informed me that the record industry is going to die very, very soon -- all because of file sharing. Because of the recession, even people who normally wouldn't steal music are doing so (present company... err... but I've said too much), making it impossible for artists or record companies to earn any money at all on their recorded work. Luckily for us fans, it is dirt cheap to record a CD these days (just buy ProTools and go at it!) and you don't even need to bother with CD manufacturing costs anymore -- just sell it as a download, and then make your money through concerts and merchandising. I'm talking to YOU, future bands of America!
Back on the topic, this is a terrible album. Just trebly brashy headachey noise that's not even alleviated by the heavy bass guitar in the mix. The only song that even approaches the quality of the original version is "The Last Sucker (Hardware Revamp Mix)" -- and that's only because guest remixer DJ Hardware barely did anything to it!
What are your thoughts on file sharing? Are you afraid that your favorite indie bands will stop putting out new music altogether because there's no way for them to make money on it? Let me know, as my curiosity is waxing.
Okay, my curiosity is full now!
Oh no! Now my curiosity is waning gibbousing! Hurry before it turns crescent!
Alternately, just wait a few days until I develop a new curiosity and begin waxing again.
No, not the FLOOR, you silly man with your floor jokes!
I think it's interesting that record companies are still flogging that "file sharing will cause the imminent death of the industry" argument despite the fact that it's now been pretty close to a decade since Napster brought file-sharing technology mainstream... and the record industry isn't dead. Sure, the industry may have suffered, but just about every industry suffered once Bush got into office. (I recall reading a Rolling Stone article that pointed out that CD sales were actually up substantially for the year between the advent of Napster and when the economy as a whole came crashing down in 2001. I know "I read this one article seven or eight years ago" isn't much of an argument, but it would be interesting for someone to find the actual numbers. Someone besides me.) Sure, the recession probably means that people are downloading music who otherwise would be purchasing it, but that doesn't mean that if the technology weren't available they'd have no choice but to buy the album. It more likely means they'd just do without it entirely!
My personal experience with file sharing is that it has introduced me to dozens of new bands I would never have otherwise had the opportunity to hear without paying $13 or $14 for their CD. (Sometimes I'll take a chance on buying a new artist's album because it seems like something I'm likely to enjoy, but I can't afford to do that every time, since there are already lots of bands I like enough to purchase their every release. And more often than not, it's those bands I investigated for free by downloading their record who I wind up liking enough to then go on and purchase all their subsequent albums.)
Going simply by the examples of people I know, my suspicion is that for every person who has given up on buying albums entirely and just downloads everything, there is at least one person--and maybe more--who's actually buying more albums than they otherwise might because Napster/Audiogalaxy/Soulseek/BitTorrent/Rapidshare has broadened their horizons. The various sectors in the entertainment industry are always terrified of technology (and use it as an easy scapegoat when things aren't going well) but I think that comes more from a reluctance to examine their own business models and adapt to a changing marketplace that gives the consumer more power than because of any truly insurmountable challenge. I do feel sorry for the independent record stores, who do genuinely seem to have taken a hit with the availability of MP3s (both unauthorized ones and online stores like iTunes), but I frankly feel like the labels themselves are just loath to exert any sort of creative energy and would rather complain about the consumer treating them unfairly.
I don't know if you've read up on this in the past year so I apologize for the reduncy if you have. I must respectfully disagree to the above opinion for it is completely misinformed. The music industry is indeed coming to an end for better or worse. Every record shop owner I know tells me they stock less CDs than 10 years ago. Since 1999, CD sales have dropped drastically. Bigger CD stores I go to carry a lot less music. While this has caused a mighty increase in vinyl purchases - including many major label releases which are being repressed on vinyl in their original packaging as if they'd never gone out of print - this doesn't even come close to compensating for the loss in CD sales. In fact many vinyl releases come with a free MP3 download of the album, a CD copy or both. The only people I know who buy albums are those who just want to support a small independent label touring band or want to increase their vinyl collections and those mainly consist of music library obsessed people such as myself. Move slightly outside of the completist/elitist camp and hardly anybody buys CDs anymore. And yes, now that there's a recession most people I know steal music as well, operating under the assumption that it's a free comodity, no different than turning on a TV. After all, if you can easily access the album, it's like you own it anyway, right? That's my take on it.
Funny how we all laughed at Metallica a decade ago for their greed. People don't live up their end of the bargain by simply stealing all of their music. Eventually people will have to realize they are making music strictly to express themselves and nothing else. But it's much easier with the technology so, no gain, no loss, I guess.
Either way, I'll keep building my collection because I'm old and nostalgic and too dumb to download.
Hi, my name is Al Jourgensen and I'm lead singer of the musical band Ministry. Something disturbing was recently brought to my attention, the likes of which I feel absolutely cannot be ignored. It is for this reason that I have purchased this costly advertising slot on MarkPrindle.com -- in order to address the issue and clear up any confusion or misconception.
As you know, I have spent the better part of three decades building my reputation as an artist with integrity -- one who always puts quality first and would never release a substandard product onto the marketplace. This is why it felt like I was being eaten by a bobcat last night when my manager pulled me aside to inform me that somebody has been taking my albums, defacing them with no sense of sonic artistry, and releasing them as 'new product' to an unsuspecting public. Listen to me now, because I will only say it once: this will not stand.
MiXXXes of the Mole' is a perfect example. I spent seven years in the studio with this record, making sure that every choppy staccato part and dancey electronic beat is just so. "But Al," naysayers insisted. "If you don't hurry up, George W. Bush won't even be in office anymore by the time it comes out." And perhaps they were right. But I would rather create a timeless work of electronic squiggles than rush a half-baked industrial metal CD onto the market, no matter the timeliness or lack thereof. As such, you can only imagine how hard and long I vomited into my car alarm upon learning that thieving bootleggers removed my dancey beats and irritating choppy staccato gimmicks, added even more guitars, and released a CD called Houses of the Mole' six years ago. May the Good Lord goddamn those responsible, and their loved ones.
Why am I being targeted like this? I work my fingers to the tips on such creative meisterwerks as The Last Dubber, Rio Grande Dub Ya, Cocktail Mix and Sex-O MiXXX-O, and this is the thanks I get? People adding a bunch of guitars, erasing my squiggly shit noises, and stealing money from the hard-earned pockets of my trusting fans? I will only say it one time: this will not stand.
I'll give the devious crackerjacks one thing: the so-called Houses Of The Mole' bootleg is really not much different from MiXXXes of the Mole' as envisioned by myself, the artist. I don't see why they felt compelled to add an actual hook to "Wrong," and hey what's up with the fast beat and angry guitar they stuck on my Nine Inch Nails homage "Warp City"? But other than that, I can't complain. I guess the key is to give the songs riffs, because when I focus on digital shit racket (a la The Last Dubber), the sons of bitch inevitably toss it into the turdbucket to make way for catchiness I never approved.
But onward and upward. I appreciate you allowing me this space to vent. I beg you all to stay safe, and get ready because the Cocks and I are working on something that's going to rock your socks off. Keep an eye peeled for Got RemiXXX?, almost definitely coming soon.
Yours in creative integrity,
A. Jourgensen
It's always the saddest story ever told when your favorite band breaks up. Why, I'll never forget how sad I was the day The Beatles released Let It Be and announced that they'd broken up, and then a year later released the All My Covers album of '40s tunes, and then a year later released the Auf Wiedersehen… Mannliche Prostituierte-Mutter live album of songs from only Let It Be, Abbey Road and The White Album, and then a few months later released the Let It BemiXXX remix album, and then the next year released the White AlbumiXXX remix album, and then a few months later released the I Wanna Hold Your Hand: Greatest Treats CD with more cover tunes and remixed versions of a few old classics. Yes, that was a sad day indeed.
Honestly, it's just become funny at this point. At first it seemed like a cynical ripoff, but now Al's insistence on releasing more Ministry releases posthumously than he did prehumously is starting to feel like an elaborate joke. It's obviously not unheard of for a record label to exploit an artist after his career has ended (see my Jimi Hendrix page for several examples), but in this case, Al Jourgensen is exploiting himself! At this rate, it won't be long before he leaks a video onto the Internet of himself blowing a guy.
As for this particular release, there seems to be an awful lot of confusion about its title. Amazon is selling it as Every Day Is Halloween: Greatest Tricks, Wikipedia's cover artwork has it as Every Day Is Halloween: The Anthology, and Ministry's Myspace page oddly refers to it as Under Cover in spite of the fact that 6 of the 13 tracks are Ministry originals. Even more confusingly, Cleopatra has also just released an MP3 album called Every Day Is Halloween: The Remixes, which is simply six remixes of the song "Every Day Is Halloween"! Your best bet is to not like Ministry at all.
Unfortunately, it's too late for me. I love their rat-a-tatting industrial thrash sound and cannot be dissuaded no matter how many people tell me that they've sucked since Paul Barker left. This CD features seven new cover tunes that hit upon each of the last five decades. Look, I even made a chart:
Representing The Summer Of Love 1960's Hippy Dream: The Rolling Stones' "Paint It, Black" and Jimi Hendrix's "Purple Haze"
Representing The Cocaine 1970's Inflation Hot Tub: Ted Nugent's "Stranglehold" and Black Sabbath's "Iron Man"
Representing The "Greed Is Good" 1980's Members Only Jacket: ZZ Top's "Sharp Dressed Man"
Representing The Grunge 1990's Heroin Flannel: AC/DC's "Thunderstruck"
Representing The Recession Nightmare 2000's 9/11: Amy Winehouse's "Rehab"
I'm not saying all of these covers are necessary, or even good (they let some smarmy goth no-talent sing "Paint It Black" and don't even bother speeding up "Purple Haze"), but Ministry has a knack for picking songs that appeal to me personally. Thus, even when they do things like play the "Thunderstruck" riff wrong or sing all of "Sharp Dressed Man" on one note, I'm so overjoyed by the mere existence of the cover that I'm incapable of nitpicking its problems. Plus it's hilarious to hear "Stranglehold," "Iron Man" and especially "Rehab" sped up to Ministry speed.
The remainder of the disc is devoted to interesting remixes/remakes of earlier Ministry material. The old pre-Twitch title track is jacked up with heavy guitars and growly vocals; "N.W.O." is granted an extra chugging rhythm guitar, groovier rhythm section and additional samples; "Jesus Built My Hotrod" is re-recorded with Al (I guess?) trying to do his best Gibby impression (it fooled me!); "Stigmata" now has an extra guitar drowning out the second chord of every chorus by repeating the first chord on top of it; and I don't remember how the original version of "Khyber Pass" goes so never mind that one.
If you enjoyed Cover Up, this CD's definitely worth picking up. The cover tunes are fun and catchy, and the remixes are much more intriguing than usual. Still, shit pick a djinn.
Not sure why my fingers typed "shit pick a djinn" there.
Say! Here's something funny. Way back in college times '93, I interviewed three members of The Cows on my college radio station WXYC-Chapel Hill. Before we began, they waited in the station lobby as I went to discuss logistics with the on-air DJ. When I returned to lead them in, I noticed they were all giggling as Shannon pinned a piece of paper to the bulletin board. After the interview, I surreptitiously grabbed the paper to read at a later date. It turned out to be DJ employment form that Shannon Selberg had filled out as follows:
NAME: Bjorn Loser
year at UNC: 3
remaining # of years: none
major: n/A
phone number: none
local address: n/A
please list any major non-academic commitments you have (including a job, volunteer involvement, etc.): smokin' cigarettes
how did you hear about this hiring? on the street
In no particular order, please list your three favorite genres of music: ponies jazz airplane
list some tape/CD/records you have recently acquired: Stole 'em, will not confess
list some recent concert or club shows you have attended: none
what question do you hope we ask you during the interview? "do you want a million dollars and a BJ?"
what question do you hope we don't ask you during the interview? "are you hung?"
Good old The Cows, with their new Ministry album.
Other Ministry Web Sites
Say! Here's another
Ministry site!
