special introductory paragraph!
10 Songs
Gluey Porch Treatments
Ozma
Making Love Demos EP
Bullhead
Your Blessened 8" Flexi-Single
Eggnog EP
King Buzzo EP
Dale Crover EP
Joe Preston EP
Lysol
Your Choice Live Series
Houdini
Prick
Stoner Witch
Barbaraal 7"
Stag
Honky
Alive At The F*cker Club Australia
Singles 1-12
The Maggot
The Bootlicker
The Crybaby
Electroretard
Colossus Of Destiny
Hostile Ambient Takeover
26 Songs
Neither Here Nor There
Pigs Of The Roman Empire (with Lustmord)
Mangled Demos From 1983
Sieg Howdy! (with Jello Biafra)
Houdini Live 2005
Starve Already 7"
(A) Senile Animal
Smash The State EP
Nude With Boots
Yes sir, check right there on the back of the first
Melvins album - three years before the release of Bleach, it says right
there on the back, "Thanks To: ........Kurdt Ko-bain....." Check it out, Bing!
I ain't no lair! I ain't no lair! Cirt loved the Melvins and well he should
have he. They were an amazing (though mostly impenetrable) power trio who
essentially created their own genre - an excruciatingly sluggish heavy sludge
metal distinguished by constantly shifting rhythms, a mixture of low growling vocals
and high-pitched Kiss-like vocal shrieks, and a sickeningly unsteady mood that
could go in any of ten directions at any time. Lucky for us, they're smart
too! Leader Buzz Osborne loves to fiddle around with song structure and
tonal quality and drummer Dale Crover may honestly be the most powerful
drummer in rock and roll history. Boyoo, he hits hard. Touch his peen!
SMACKO POLO! They've changed a lot over the years though, presumably tiring
of the whole "grunge" thing they helped create. These days, even though
they're still
one of the least accessible bands ever signed to a major label, their "music"
is much easier to share with your loved ones and colleagues. Continue reading
my reviews to understand the Melvin hand jive.
In this forgettable year of 1997 Princess
Di's funeral is on the tv...)-
especially
musically (with the exclusion of that fine Radiohead album & Prodigy...
maybe)-
one might wonder -or not- where that whole "grunge" revolution (repeat:
the ONLY
revolution of this decade unlike that whole Californian "punk" scene or
even that "electronica" thing that we must suffer through now... go listen
to Kraftwerk,
New Order or Ministry instead) began in the first place. Hence, the
Melvins.
And this record. Recorded on a mere 2-track, this is fine example of why
they were/
are considered "the heaviest band on this planet". Basically, it sounds
like the
Black Sabbath sound taken to a new heavier, noisier, punkier extreme.
Nothing
totally original and nothing painstakingly slow either- unlike, say, that
song
"Hag me" off Houdini. Nothing extremely fast either- with the
exception of
"Snake Appeal". It's more in the middle.... but it still kicks major arse.
So go buy it. But since you won't find it, buy Dinosaur Jr, Primus, My
Bloody
Valentine, Ministry, Type O Negative, Joy Division or Sabbath instead...
Or another Melvins record... you decide.
Buy those instead of that guy who ripped off the Police & David Bowie or
those guys who ripped off Nirvana's entire repertoire.
So creative. I promise you, after letting these
19 songs sink into your unwilling system for a week or so, you'll never be
able to go back to "normal" grunge. Soundgarden's Louder Than Love,
for example, sounds about as interesting as a Garbage record after grappling
with this baby. The numbers are deceivingly complex (they sure SOUND simple,
but they also change a heck of a lot as they go) in such a pleasing manner
that those
bullshit cock riffs that Cornell and the boys lump out one after the other
will just make you wanna make that obnoxious "jerkin' off" motion with your left
hand (unless you're a girl, in which case you probably don't have a male
sexual organ). Not that I'm knocking Soundgarden as a concept. I actually really like
Cornell's voice - but I love King Buzzo's more! At this period in the band's
history, their bassist was Matt Lukin, but the band left for San Francisco
soon afterwards, and Matt stuck around to form Mudhoney, who are reviewed
elsewhere on my site!!!! If you aren't running out to buy this album yet,
let me point out that the songs have titles like "Over From Under The Excrement,"
"Bitten Into Sympathy," and "Don't Piece Me." NOW?????
the melvins kick ass
A quick correction: yes, "Leeech" is amazing but it's
not a Melvins song. It is a cover of a Green River tune.
All around a fantastic listen. Couldn't give it a 10 because I haven't heard
any other Melvins, but if this was the only one out there it would really be
the 10.
Comment: They are not everyones cup of char, I had a friend that once said, the Melvins made her feel like throwing up, she needed something safe like PINK FLOYD, I told her safe PINK FLOYD made me feel like throwing up.
My rating is the real deal Melvins of 10's (if you hate, trash, treasure, monkeys, bad shit, cool, crap, hundreds, Bob Mould, bar, Melvins, genius, tanked, happy, sound, constant, drum, gaps, short, quiet, loud, tempo, bong, and rate pink floyd, this is probably a low 10)
"What's that noise?"
"It's music."
"Oh - I thought the air conditioner was about to explode."
This was in reference to the "Eye Flys" intro. I think it was mostly in reference to the humming guitar tone. It's not loud (not yet - it'll be howling in a minute before the song proper starts), but it seems to waft and permeate completely. Enjoy it while it lasts I suppose 'cos shit's gonna get ugly and dense and wholly abstracted for the next 30 minutes or so. You think you like heavy metal? You like BIG RIFFS? I love it when people complain 'cos the tunes don't make sense. But I thought you liked riffage? Nothin' but riffage here babychild - no tunes to get in the way and muddle it up nohow (except "Leeech" perhaps - and it's OK, but I'd say it's the lowpoint). The $100,000 music school word for it is "through composed" - don't wait for another verse/chorus/bridge to come around so you can figure it out 'cos it's significantly less than likely. Lotsa folks dig MELVINS, but if I may be so bold I'd like to suggest that Gluey Porch Treatments separates the Girl Scouts from the Brownies.
It's still basically a really entertaining album, though, and the poppy "Love
Thang" is a nice break from the bitter rock action.
" i Could have sworn I gave my wedding ring to you"
(a few weeks later)
Actually ever since writing that little comment above there iv'e done nothing but listen to this album. It's
actually not that bad......heck it's even what i'd call good, if you're a Melvis fan that is, which i am.
If you like the Melvins then 7 or 8 out of 10.
If not then about 2 probably.
At any rate, you have to buy Walsby's Manchild 3 to hear this EP so do yourself a favor and order it online so you don't have to go into one of those Loser Comic Book Stores full of Losers and risk getting infected by their Loser Virus. Here are a few quick examples to help you remember what time it is:
Guy With Long Hair Banging His Head To A Death Angel Song - Winner
Now that I've made my case for the intellectual superiority of sophomoric music over juvenile literature, let's discuss the Making Love Demos EP by Buzz "Ozzy" Osborne, Dale "Little Blue Guy On Sesame Street" Crover, and Matt "I'm Quitting Right After We Record This To Go Join Mudhoney" Lukin. Recorded after Gluey Porch Treatments, these eight songs were the first stirrings of the aural ugliness and bitterment that would define Ozma. In fact, four of the songs wound up re-recorded on that very album! The other four are, as far as I can tell, exclusive to this release. Five of the songs are dinky (shorter than two minutes) and two are gigantic (longer than five and a half minutes), leaving a mere one song of average length (2:55). This tragedy must be avenged. Thank God somebody had the moral guts to point it out in a review.
After eight billion years of not figuring it out, I just figured out why the early Melvins stuff sounds so bizarre and unlike your normal heavy metal bands down here at the bathhouse. It's because drummer Dale Crover emphasizes every chord change that the guitar makes. Rather than providing a solid backbeat, he accents exactly what Buzz and the bassist are doing, nearly all the time! And considering the unorthodox timing that Buzz tended to use back then, this resulted in some extremely strange sludgey stop-start "roll"-less rock music!
It's bitter, slow music. Not a lot of sunshine or righteous headbanging came from this particular era of the Melvins. It's worth it to hear the rare songs though, if you're a fan. The minute-long trudge-stomper "Dime Lined Divided" is particularly good, as are most parts of the multi-part "Vile Vermillion Vacancy" (one section even sounds optimistic!). "Excess Pool" is ugly My War sludge-slop though, and "We Got Worries Here" isn't much better. Look, let's be clear about this: I really like the Melvins. Even listening to their output of this period, when their songwriting was more standoffish and pissy than I prefer, I still derive enjoyment from their idiosyncratic approach and bizarre chord and time changes. So that's why I'm trashing the hell out of this 21-minute piece a shit and then giving it a 7 out of 10.
Here's a little riddle to make it more clear:
Q: Why did Mark Prindle say the Melvins EP was ugly and slow, and then give it a 7?
A: Who cares, he doesn't even like Emerson, Lake and Palmer! Name me any three musicians that are better at there instruments, fag.
"Zodiac" has a hilarious rhythm-wrecking fingerslide up the guitar neck at the
end of each line, "Boris" has like two trudging puke chords repeated over and
over for eight minutes or so, "Cow" ends with a two-minute turtle-paced drum
solo, "It's Shoved" is by a wide margin the most
normal song they've created yet (but good!), and the other four? Fine! They sound like
The Melvins!!!! Bullhead catches the
band at a very important crossroads in their career, when they were still one
of the most creative and intelligent bands in the world, yet had added enough
structure to their songs to lure in at least a few fans of normal
heavy metal. God, main, just put the needle at the beginning of side one and
listen to that disturbingly low-pitched fuzz guitar quivering and shivering
like a slow-witted psychopath drawing closer and closer to the breaking point,
at which point several sorority girls get sliced to bits in their dorm rooms.
This kinda crap happens, folks! That's why I heart revenge. There's no excuse
for us normal folk having to worry about our loved ones being raped and
murdered every time we leave their sides. May all those who harm you suffer
and slowly die. Now, I'm not sure if I warned you about this or not, so I should
do so here - it is EXTREMELY possible that you will find The Melvins to be
one of the dullest bands of all time. The music is extremely slow and sometimes
appears to be going nowhere at all. It's kind of an acquired taste. For years,
I denied them their place in my being because I just couldn't sit still long
enough to sit through one of their records. Even then, I knew they had
something special - I just knew I wasn't ready for it yet. Now I'm a little
bit older and a little bit slower, and this stuff is music to my ears!!!? I
thoroughly enjoy that which is different from the other things. As such,
the retro-as-fork Jon Spencer Blues Explosion make me want to mangle a guy
(though not necessarily Jon Spencer, mind you), and the Melvins and Cows and
Thinking Fellers and whatnot just bring out the "wow" in me. It wouldn't kill
you to give it a try, would it? I know it's annoying, and they know it's annoying,
but it's really not hard to tell that they're smart as a whip. Who else but
a band of rare intelligence would think to take the most stereotypically
stupid genre of rock music around and turn it into an excruciatingly unnatural
blend of the obvious and the blatantly WRONG???? Now, it's true that there
may be heavier bands out there (Godflesh used to be heavier, I think), but
most of them at least try to create a pleasant batch of melodies for you
and yours. And therein lies the secret of the Melvins - they strive to
irritate.
get it, It's the shit
well, i`m gonna buy the vinyl format as soon as i get a hold of some
more money and have the patience to wait another month for it to arrive
Norway.
Favorite track, anyway: Anaconda!
It's not often enough in today's society that a record company will pony up and respond to a band's dream of issuing a one-sided 8" Flexi-Single, but Slap-A-Ham was... eh. pbl.
The title track, previously available on Bullhead, is featured here in a live San Francisco 1989 performance featuring Lori on bass. If you dont know the song, it's slow and bendy-note with some chords and whatnot. The bass drives the song with octave jumps and strange time signature changes as the guitar feeds back and utters noise. It's a solid SICK song, just like everything on Bullhead. I can remember the last time I gave a bull head and believe me, it was no... eh. pbl.
The second track is a demo studio song called "Pronoun Piece Me" that was recorded with Matt Lukin on bass at February 1986 to the same session that 10 Songs came of. FUCKEN PREPOSITIONS CAN EAT A... eh. pbl.
"Pronoun Piece Me" is an early version of Gluey Porch Treatments's slow sludgy creeping slop of heavy Sabbath chords "Don't Piece Me" that excitingly ends with one of the members making a Frankenchrist reference!!!! I'm not sure who it is, but somebody says, "That's all there is... and there ain't no more" -- a delightfully timely quote from DH Peligro's "Hellnation," track three on side one of the Dead Kennedys' at-the-time-recently-released third LP. And just several years later, The Melvins' dream would come true and they would be RECORDING THEIR OWN ALBUMS with Mr. Jello Biafra of Dead Kennedys fortune!!!!!! Isn't the entertainment world a magical kingdom? For example, at my tenth birthday party I met Richard Thomas of The Waltons fame, and just 24 years later, here I am fellating him for HIS birthday!!!! eh. pbl.
So have a good weekend and be sure to eat a dick! eh. pbl.
Suckin' dix for Christ,
PS The cross was just a dick nailed to a perpendicular, longer dick! eh. pbl.
The third song has buzzy squeling like astuck Paul Stanley
and Charmacarmicat (or however it's spelt) is another Melvins lesson in
tedium.
If you can find it get it
and if oyu can find it good luck cause it's rare as shit in Australia.
I really like the fact that they dont put the RPM on the vinyl so you can
decide what you like it best at too.
he also talks on the spoken word song skeeter.
Jonathan from Boner Records told me that this cracked him and Buzz
up, because they always saw Greg around the C/Z Records studio.
(C/Z is another label that Ginn has, as well as SST).
So there you go, Smarty Pants!
Hi! I'm a Turd! Just bouncing up and down on the keys, telling a little brown story. Unfortunately, with each letter I type, I lose a little more of my golden brown and become smaller and smaller, so I'd better get to the point. The first thing to say is of course that this is the best of three Melvins solo records. When Dale asdfghjkl OW! I slipped on my own skid and landed on a piece of corn in my back! To the treatment plant with this! Typing's too hard!
Why, hello there everyone. I'm a penis. My temp agency called and told me that a Turd had left his position before the workday was complete, so I'm here to fill in. Unfortunately, the keys are all coated in his stinky brown mess and I wore my nicest foreskin to make a good first impression. At any rate, I'm told that my assignment today is to tell you about the Dale Crover solo EP. I tell you what - it's Melvinsy! Like Bullhead-era Melvins, slow and fuzzy with Dale intoning his vocals in a very King Buzzo-esque manner. Actually this poop's starting to feel pretty good. Kinda slick, kinda rubbin' along the sides, kinda GONNA BLOW!
Oh Christ. My manager's gonna throw a fit if he sees this sticky mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Great, that's just what I nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Fucccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccc
Okay, I urinated and that washed away at least some of the faeces and ejaculate. At any rate, there are four songs on here, and a full two of them are built upon very pretty chords in the emotion of sad. Kind of a slightly more alt-pop/rock take on the Melvins sludge boom sound. Of the remaining tracks, one is a minute long swoopy bass celebration and the other features that watery wiggly guitar tone that Kurt Cobain used back in the day - heck, for all I know, it IS Kurt Cocaine! But one thing's for certain: it's quittin' time and I'm a penis that's covered head to shaft in cum, piss and shit.
Welp, guess it's back into Katie Holmes' mouth for me!
For some reason, every time I come to your site my temptation to just go
all-out collector geek as opposed to actual music fanatic just gets fueled.
Speaking of which, I was introduced to the Melvins back in '94 via Beavis and Butthead's review of the video for "Hooch." I could swear i remember Beavis trying to decipher the lyrics, and he said the lyrics for that one part were "Fear has got this my raging member banned on the TV." Now I know why Buzz never prints his lyrics. Imagine that. "Banned on the TV."
It actually doesnt sound like Buzz is saying that at all, but hey, Beavis WAS pretty fucking dumb as y'all might have noticed.
Earth is a damn fine band for people who like Melvins, particularly the first 3 (Preston played on the first one). It's all instrumental and the style is basically whatever Dylan Carlson is into at the time, but they've spawned such tribute bands as Sunn O))) and some others i've never heard. Listen with an open mind. To think that at 14 i thought Seattle was all about Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam and Alice in Chains. Really, it's Earth and Melvins (though Melvins are now based outta San Fran or L.A. I think).
Wrong! Lysol is so damn heavy and mesmerizing, it
instantly became one of my favorite Melvins discs.
For me, it's a total mind trip. Blaze up, hit the
lights and crank this fucker. When it's over, I'm
left hanging, shuddering and wondering "How the hell
did they do that?"
Can anyone provide a definitive track list?
Whew! You don't know what a great load has been lifted off my shoulders now that
I've finally admitted that I'm a Wheaty Pearl-Endowed Angelfish! No longer need I be ashamed of
my tiny penis! As for normal music listeners, those were all metaphors. I don't honestly think
"normal music listeners" are inferior --- music is just for fun. My point was that the Melvins play
"challenging music," and normal music listeners feel no need to be "challenged" by their
entertainment. What's the point when the "challenge" is inevitably not going to reward them with
anything greater than a quick "Oh... now I get it" before they return to Metallica's "I Love You With
All My Anger" or however the hell that asinine song goes. Music "snobbery" is... in a word... well,
kinda pathetic, isn't it? To admit that so much of your sense of self-worth relies on nothing more
than the sounds you prefer to have entering your ears -- is there something to be proud of there
that I'm just missing? To be proud of your OWN music is one thing, but to be proud of somebody
ELSE'S music is pretty much just like living vicariously through a football team, no? How is
bragging about loving Steve Albini any different than bragging about loving popular Atlanta
Braves sensation Pepe Frias? So think twice the next time you're about to go off on someone for
preferring, say, Weezer to the Pixies. Does that person have bad taste? No, taste is subjective.
But do you have immaturity issues? If you want the answer to that question to be obvious to
everybody in the room... you just go ahead and make fun of that person for preferring Weezer to
the Pixies. This Melvins CD features live versions of one 10 Songs track, two
Gluey Porch Treatments, three Ozma, one Bullhead and one shorter-
than-a-minute cymbals-and-vocals spectacular. The songs are of course darntastic but the CD
itself is, in the mortal words of King Buzzo himself, "Not gonna make pelvises move or
anything."
I try to go around with an attitude somewhat to the
effect of, "Shit, I don't really know anything either,
I just happen to like this band you've never heard
of," but it doesn't always work.
This record's out of print, so it's kind of hard to track down
nowadays, although I thought I read somewhere that they may possibly
rerelease it some time. Oh, and one time I was listening to this when
I got into a car accident, so it doesn't really bring fond memories.
Anyway, Houdini is pretty well-produced,
what with the bigtime Atlantic money and all, and for the most part, it's pretty
darn great. Side one is, in fact, phenomenal. "Hooch," "Night Goat," and
"Hag Me" do everything a Melvins song is supposed to do, and "Lizzy" goes
even further, bringing in a dark almost country ballad riff that chills the
soul in a way that many rock songs cannot!!!!! Some of the side two songs drift right by like a barrel of slop,
but most of them are up to the usual Mell standards, too - heavy and slow, yet
somehow catchy and kickbutt. The aural feeling is nice, too. Even when
they're not playing much of a riff, their tones are very pleasing to the ear.
I can't quite give it a nine, though. The boogie "Sky Pup" is moronic, the pop
"Set Me Straight" is lifeless, and "Copache," ironically enough, sounds like
a Nirvana rip-off, or at least Guns 'N' Roses or somebody. Either way, it's
terrible. But that's only three weak songs on an otherwise terrific sludge
record. It's not as weird as the early stuff, sticking instead to pretty
basic (though interminably slow) 4/4 beats for much of the record, but dammit,
those who love loud heavy rock should hang up the forkin' Tool and try out
the Houdini, know what I'm driving at? A wall!!!!
And that title. Just say it to yourself: Night Goat.
Night Goat.
What the fuck is that anyway!? Night Goat.
PS- Even if you consider "Heavy" music to be fast such as Soilent Green, or if
you think of "Heavy" to be slow like Crowbar, this album has both in the form
of "Honey Bucket" and "Hag Me", respectively.
but if you are like me and Honeybucket is the first Melvins song you heard
and still is one of your favourite songs of all time it just goes to show
that we all gotta start somewhere. This is the album that taught me I dont
need to know how to play guitar to play guitar.
It's just when i listen to most of their other albums and then stick this one on, it feels like its missing something.
Not the best Melvins album by a long way, but worth getting for "Honeybucket" alone.
6/10
anyway, IMO it's not a tight album. i get the same feel here as i do wit the Buzzo EP
only it's a whole album. they did however record 3 smashing tunes. i'm talking 'bout
"Hooch", "HoneyBucket" and "Sky Pup". i love Sky Pup. how do one write a tune like that?? the
sound and the approach is just mad original.
my favorite Melvins albums today (february 2002) are still BULLHEAD, THE BOOTLICKER and
THE CRYBABY.
Oh, 'Going Blind' is a bloody funny song too. Onwards and upwards, a definite nine!
Keeep Onda Wherea Forfi
Genius. Sheer Genius. Perhaps the best song in Melvins history, apart from "Theresa Screams," which is easily better than anything Nirvana ever recorded, ever.
I've enjoyed reading all the reader comments so far, since I don't know
much of the "trivia" surrounding the Melvins. "Lizzy" is about
Elizabeth Montgomery? All right, I'll bite. Wasn't she hot?
mmmm..... 'scuse me a moment.
This record
is full of crowd noise, silence, pointless samples, and no true melodies. If
they were setting out to be annoying, they've succeeded. But why should we,
the American and/or foreigner music consumer, give a vagina? You want found
sounds, try the Tape Beatles. I mean, it's listenable and cute, but The
Melvins are capable of so much more than this. Can you dig me?
Unpredictable noise and feedback it's beautiful
WWW.MELVINS.COM COMING SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sick of sheep like you who think that to be a fan
of a band, you must blindly accept everything they put
out and say all nice things about it.
Its 5th floor BOOTY, that is!!!! I haven't gotten much sleep in the last
couple of days. And now's no time to start!!!! Ha!! Ha he akjakeee. How
about that cool whistling bit in "Roadbull"?
Well, this Stoner Witch –album by the Melvins worked great after a time.
First i thought the production was to clean. Even Soundgarden’s Bad
Motorfinger sounds more lo-fi than this. It was too much Metallica for my
tastes. BUT then i discovered Shevil. What a non-metallica/soundgarden tune
this here giraffe is. Wonderful, yet creepy music. Even the Melvins haven’t
done anything like this since. This song alone makes stoner witch worth
bying. There aren’t many more tracks here which can keep my attention for
long except the thrilling Sweet Willy Rollbar, the cool and playfull
Roadbull and At the Stake which by the way i think suffers from the clean
production on this album. Live it’s nearly unbeatable. Must add though that
June Bug, Revolve and Magic Pig Detective are all nice tunes but i tend to
skip alot when i put this disc into my CD-drive. If i had it on vinyl, i
probably would rarely listen to it at all.
Sweet Willy Rollbar is heavy as pheseegy. Listen to how unstraight forward that drumbeat is, while still DRIVING that song. Then there's Revolve. Show ing others that if they wanted to they make this pleasant, but that would be to simple, and Roadbull is my favorite song by the Melvins
The Best MELVINS CUTS ARE AS FOLLOWS: Ever Since My Accident
Enjoy, and go and be a fruitful thang
A Dutch artist named Barbara Stok published a 48-page comic called "Barbaraal 2" in early 1997, and if you looked really closely, you'd find a Melvins 7" inside. This single includes two instrumental tracks recorded live in Groningen, Holland with Mark Deutrom on bass. These songs are Stoner Witch's "June Bug" and a 4 1/2 minute slow arpeggiated pop-rock song called "Noise" that reminds me a lot of an old God Bullies song whose name I'm blanking on ("Abigail," maybe? A sad, creepy one like that). The recording is muffled and terrible, and "June Bug" seems to be missing its rockin' kickass parts, but it's fine. Fine enough to earn a 6 anyway, particularly if "Noise" is a rare track. Not that I have any clue whether it is or not, nor any plans to relisten to the entire Melvins discography in search of its appearance under an alternate title. It's not on Stoner Witch though; I can tell you that!
I'm very pleased to have assisted you with this information. Here's a thought for all you philosophical people. I don't think you can decide your own philosophy; I think that your subconscious decides it for you. I say this because I finally, about five years ago, realized that no matter what I WANT to believe or how I WANT to react to a predetermined stimulus, I have very little control over my automatic reactions to said stimulus when it unexpectedly shows itself. In other words, even if I want a part of my philosophy to be "Always use self-control and maturity to defuse a conflict. Chances are that the angry party has something else going on in his or her life that is making him/her angry, and it doesn't help the situation to escalate the negativity," time and experience has taught me that my philosophy is actually "I'm going to respond to each conflict depending on how I respond to each conflict. This is based on many factors, including (a) how I am feeling at that particular moment, and (c) whether I feel that I am truly at fault in the conflict, and (c) how insulting and irrational the person is behaving, and (d) whether or not I could beat the person up if it came to that." So you philosophical people can take your four blind men and shove em up an elephant's ass! THAT'LL teach 'em it's not a fucking rope or cocksucking tree!!!!
Plus, "Lacrimosa" is without a
doubt or two
the most irritating song they've ever recorded (which is actually saying
something); the persistent cymbal smashings give me a headache of annoyance
every time I flout flamboyance. In shorts, I like strange things as much as
every other person alive, but strange backed by not quite so cleverness is
kind of contrived and boring. It got good reviews though, so maybe I'm the
fool!!!! Prick Two or Fick you??? If I wanted to listen to lite
metal with a silly bent and diverse instrumentation, I'd put on Tragic
Mulatto, thank you very much. Then I'd turn it off and throw it out the
window.
And the critter on the back is friendly!
If you know anything about bass, drums, or guitar, you would realize how
complicated and tallented this album really is. The album Prick, was
ment to piss people like you off. Why? Because you need to be pissed off
You sit in front of a computer all day and criticize others creativity.
Just one more time "FUCK YOU"
Too early. Just doesn't have the same
pizzazzazzazza as Gluey Porch Treatments. The creepy slow metallic
style is in place (see the next review for a better description; I wrote
that one before this one), but most of the songs aren't too memorable. A
notable exception is the opening track, "Easy As It Was," which is really
cool. A lot of the others are just okay. But hey - you gotta start
somewhere in life, like as a baby! It's basically a good record in that
early sludgy Melvins style, but not as good as the others.
Grade = 8
Snake Appeal kicks ass! A stooges tribute before kunt kobain could wipe his
ass! 7" vinyl is different versions of the cd songs, but you probably knew
that
In my opinion...nothing short of AMAZING.I love all of these songs.As it always has been with me and a
band,I always seem to be most enchanted by the early stuff,and this is very good from a much
younger,fresher Melvins.Awesome tracks.If you like The Melvins then you should love this.
This is the third Melvins disc I bought (back in 96').
Houdini and Stoner Witch were my intro to this band,
but at the time I thought 10 songs was better. Now
that I have most of their catalogue to compare it to,
I give it a high 8. It's still holds up.
Not so good, but it's still awesome! How did they do that? Simply put, MELVINS (I do believe it only fitting that the name of a band capable of such sonic oppression should appear in all caps) are the band that kills all other bands. Grind 'em right on down to pulp. Later on you will lick their boots - "10 Songs" is merely an appetizer. Love the vox on this one - sickly! The first rumblings of a genre I like to call "bellyache" and of which only one band is capable. I don't know but - I don't FEEL so good...
the melvins obviously rule. what are all of you dorks doing bothering people with your shitty comments about a great band? I mean, sure you got 10 songs, but does that mean that your cool? no. it means that nobody cares if you like the melvins, because you're just some dude. I'm ending this right now, because nobody gives a shit about me either. served.
Amazing. You won't believe that your stereo is
actually on the right speed. These songs take FOREVER!!! They just poke
along like a turtle getting kicked in the ass by a bitter old Mexican or
related Latino. The singer sounds like a violent muppet, and the mostly dinky songs
have more speed and rhythm changes than a monkey chewing him some marijuana
leafage. This is a very creative though hardly accessible release, and is thus
very well worth repeated listenings - it takes quite a while for the style
to suddenly make sense, but it eventually does. At first, you just think to
yourself, "Why aren't they playing any riffs?," but after about four listens,
the riffs suddenly become clear. They ARE normal Black Sabbath-esque riffs;
it's the arrangements that are mucked out the humding. They always throw in
an extra beat or speedy little 3-note break when you least expect it. What
baffles me is how damn tight they are, considering how darning unnatural all
the tunes are. It rules!
This definitely seems to be the Melvins album to have from the early
era. It is much heavier and grungier than Ozma, which is several
years newer. As a whole, it is so powerful and raw. Possibly the
ultimate extreme in both of those adjectives. The difference is, Gluey
Porch Treatments shifts moods and tempos constantly, whereas Ozma is
just unbearably bitter all the time. But both kick ass and you need
both! Much more original than anything at the time...
One of the best albums ever. It's very much like 10 songs except slowed
down even more and made even heavier. A must for anyone who even thinks
they like grunge.
Anyone who claims to know anything at all about grunge and hasnt
heard this Melvins outing- Gluey Porch Treatments - doesnt know dick.
This is the combo that grunge was supposed to be: metal and punk, with a
dash of 70's hard rock. Instead of recognizing this bone crunching, yet
melodic and rythmically dizzying amalgam of pure gems as the pioneering
grunge record, the media focused on lame bands like Pearl Jam and the
like. Man, its amazing to think that so many ppl actually bought the
hard rock sound that crappy so-called grunge bands tried to pass off as
fresh or original. If you're looking for tension filled songs, metal
hooks, heavyass riffs, sludgy drumbeats, and an insane vocalist then
Melvins is definately your cup of tea. Mark did a great job in rating
this album, it really is a ten once you listen to it- really listen to
it. This album should be easy enough to find. I believe it was
rereleased on Boner as split CD with Ozma. You won't regret this one-
it kicks ass.
I am glade you gave a ten on the glooey porch treatment it just rocks so
much there is no other album like it.
LEEECH IS THE COOLEST FUCKING SONG ON THE WHOLE ALBUM. THAT IS THE BEST
MELVINS SONG OF ALL TIME. Buy the record just to hear it live. It rules.
"coughing up blood, I think I've had enough".
In a more perfect world Gluey Porch Treatments should have blown that
shiity 80's retro music out of the water, ending it's reign of
uglyiness. Heavier than metal, To smart for the average metalhead.
Play this loud and play it proud. No one will top this, Ever.
When faced with the current wave of sub-Sabbath
"stoner rock" (Fu Manchu, Nebula, anything on Man's
Ruin), I'm constantly reminded of how the Melvins
tower over these newcomers when it comes to producing
the "maximum heavyosity." Some of said bands come
close (see Sleep's "Holy Mountain") but as far as
competing with the band that defined a sound, there
are next to no challengers. "Gluey Porch Treatments"
is the hallmark upon which all others must be
measured. To those who have doubt in their hearts I
give them my guarantee that conversion will take place
after seeing the Melvins live (pick a spot up front).
although i'm quite a fresh Melvin fan, i think i was born to it. every
once in a year, it seems i stumble upon a Melvins album.
in 96 i stumbled upon "stoner witch" and last year "stag". then this
year, i stumbled upon Gluey Porch Treatments. the timing was perfect
to put the needle on this baby. i was just
going through a vinyl-collection and i needed something creepy, something
heavy, something dangerous to put on while i was shuffling through the rest
of the collection. you can tell it's a scary album, cuz it's a Melvins album and they
have always been scary to me. ever since i saw the covers on the solo-ep's
and that blury pictures on the "stoner witch" album.
anyhoo, i put that shit on and a creepy bassline started filling the
room. it was dark outside, still snowy and it was kinda late.
yezz, it was Eye Flys. infact that was the only RIFF i can remember
hearing. today i can't get enough of that slowly building monster which
kick-starts a otherwise dark and complex sludge-album. complex in the sense that
they do so many chord- and pace- changes in matter of seconds, you just can't
get it the first time you hear it. it's fokkin' impossible. otherwise it's a
very one-sounding album flowing together as a whole. it's like a monster
slowly waking up - goes out and raises hell and eventually dies.
i think that's a great concept. but i don't think any other band alive
could do that or even think of a concept like that than the Melvs.
i don't know exactly how many times i've listened through this album,
but i still haven't figured out side B yet... "eye flys", "leeech" and my favorite track "echo head" (is that "don't
piece me" with the guitar-solo?) even so, them tracks (2 & 3) flow together
as one hell of a ride. i think i'll keep trying to figure this album out to
the day i die. i don't think i'll ever get to sing along or play along buzz &
co. on this one. you just can't keep up. not with the fast songs, anyway...
I haven't had this record very long but I've listened to it about twenty
plus times now and I think it's so fucking cool (I threw the 'fucking' in
there for emphasis). The whole sound is like a big sludgey, grimey, syrupy
slow ooze of metal!! The first time I had the patience to sit through the
first four tracks, I was drunk out of my mind, but it really got to me. The
weirdo tempo changes, the riffs, King Buzzo's voice (Mark's description of
it sounding like an angry muppett is the best description I think possible),
and the drumming are so damn neat. I think the the real heart of this album
comes from the drums. I don't know how to describe it, but even when Dale
Crover is playing slow he still comes up with these really heavy plodding
along of beats and tons of awesome cymbal crashes. Throughout this album
he's just continuously playing the drums like no one else I've ever heard
and it rules!! It took me a while to get into this, because it sure isn't
very accessible, but it was worth it. My favorites tracks would have to be
the first four, "Exact Paperbacks" (which is only like a minute but the riff
and off tempo beats are SO AWESOME), "Bitten into Sympathy" (with King
Buzzo's voice sounding the most comical in my opinion but in a truly cool
way), and "As It was" (just because it's so darn catchy and could have been
turned into shit by some other band, but with the Melvins' magic it's
great).
Excellent studio debut.All of the songs are great.Most of the songs are sluggish and at the same
time,punkish.Many of these songs stand out to be true classics.In my opinion,OZMA is a little more
focused and cuts down on the one-minute-tracks,but all of the songs take shape and are awesome.
three words: drum fade out
Zzzz...yeah right, part of the old times heavy slow slow slow sludgefeast
and then what ? nada. You know I used to be into all this stuff,and all you
needed to gain my attention was to tune down the guitars,get a thick heavy
bass and voila, you got good music...however I never really fell for this
one although there were some songs I digged, hard to remember the titles
'cause it's all on my Ozma/GPT version..but it was the first one,then "Don't
Piece Me" and "Leeech". But don't you ever get tired of that shit...I mean
what else does it offer than heaviness ? I'd take a chance and say that if
you actually asked Melvins,they'd say the album pretty much sucks and that's
part of their attitude that's really amusing at times while very annoying at
others...I can't say anything about the mid-period releases of the band
because I haven't heard them but the first two parts of that trilogy are way
better than this piece. Oh,so they have wierd tempo changes...big fuckin'
deal...it's just such nonsence..and that drummer..Dale Crover-can he do
anything more interesting than BANG BANG BANG BANG..oh yeah let's hit the
drumset the hardest we can...what a brilliant masterpiece.I supose I
shouldn't be so negative and relate to all the praise you people give it but
I just can't help it- you know I really hate it when people don't understand
slow heavy shit, when they can't handle anything that's not GO GO GO! but
I've been part of this and I know what the hell I'm talking about. 4/10
(would have been a lot less if it wasn't A BIT distinctive from traditional
rock).
Shit, one persons TRASH is another persons TREASURE, thats what separates us from the MONKEYS, Beavis and butt-head summed it up perfectly when they said, you need the BAD SHIT because thats what makes the really cool stuff, really COOL, you'll be better equiped to subjectively listen to all the CRAP music thats out there, because you know, that there is much better shit than that, right HERE. Bands like the Melvins, the 3d's, Tall Dwarfs, the Datsuns, Head like a Hole, Wendy House, there's HUNDREDS of them, yes even you, BOB MOULD, help raise the BAR, and if only YOU like it, well thats THEIR loss, right? I'll be the first, to ADMIT I have been disappointed with the MELVINS, (Honky, Singles but not Prick) but thats the charm, the challenge, they are pure GENIUS. A lot of early releases/debuts TANKED because not everyone in the band is HAPPY with it, but they must have known right from the START, that this is how they wanted to SOUND, because all the other albums are right HERE. For a band that changes so MUCH, they have remained so CONSTANT. The DRUM sound, no one else sounds quite like this, the big GAPS in songs, which aren't really big GAPS, the SHORT songs, the QUIET songs, the LOUD songs, the changes in TEMPO...Hell, I think I'll BONG up now and subjectivly listen to this. (thats not true I just wrote it for effect)
A recent conversation in my office:
If Lurch could lurch like a lurch could lurch than this album is genius
in slowest motion. Impossible to dance to, doubtful one could headbang
to it, GLUEY PORCH TREATMENTS is a testament to molten rock depth with
weird, unpredicatable tempo shifts, impossible to predict after a dozen
listens. Match this with the band's own OZMA and BULLHEAD, whilst
chugging a mug of Winter's "Into Darkness," chased with a fifth of
Disembowelement's "Transcendence Into The Peripheral," all the while
digging on Thergothon's immortal doze classic "Stream From The Heavens,"
and you will either have the entire essence of DOOM planted feverently
in yer soul, or you'll be dead from the appropriatley appropriate
alcoholoic accompaniment to such a sonic slo-mo binge. The Melvins
created the concept that there is essence after the sludgiest riffs fade
into solace...there is life in the afterglow, after all, the theeth of
lions rule the divine, and cough syrup goes down well after a pleasant
evening of sombient aural satisfaction.
Geez, I just don't quite "get" this one, I guess. I love the crap out
of the Melvins, but this one just leaves me cold. Better than Ozma,
I'll admit, but not as good as Bullhead or almost everything that came
after Bullhead. The version of GPT I have is tacked on as a bonus
album at the end of my Ozma CD, and I've always felt that the recording
never did justice to the interesting songs. Sounds really flat, like
it was recorded in a shoebox. Is it just me? Plus I think the songs
are too short to really get going. (and I love the Minutemen, by the
way). Maybe I'm just a fan of the later, more experimental Melvins,
but I really want to love this album. I'll try again I guess. 6/10
Dunno about this one...every now and again I dig it out to see if I'll like it and now I guess it's okay, due to my current interest in post-metal bands (i.e. Isis, Pelican, etc.) that owe their existance to this. But I was really disapointed when I finally got it (got my expectations up by your review). It may sound like an angry man living in your speakers who wants to kill you, but I can't tell one song from another on here at times. Well, Leech is cool with the drum coda, but after the first three songs I get bored. To be honest, I'm not a big fan of pre-Atlantic Melvins, because I prefer them with the experimental elements combined with the heaviness.
The songs take forever? Six of them are less than one minute and only four over three minutes long! that's a pretty quick forever, if you ask me. true, the album is slow, and kind of hypnotizing. very brutal and heavy. great sound, great band, very cool album! i can't really distinguish the single songs from each other, but who cares?
There's also a band called Ozma, but they sound like Weezer and have no talent. I don't like this record as much as the last one.
The style is very similar and just as difficult to penetrate, but repeated
listenings reveal much fewer eccentricities and far more generic three-chord
riffs. It's nice to have a Melvins in the world, but even dumb old Mr. Me
needs a hook to sink my teeth into every once in a while, whether there's
a real worm on there or just one of those smelly rubber things. There are
still lots of terrific tunes on here, mind you; it's just that, unlike the
first album, certain tracks on this one seem kind of weak and unnecessary.
The main thing is that, with Gluey, they had created a brand new
monster. Here, after THREE YEARS they could have spent coming up with a
new kick, they've basically created nothing more than a slightly less
interesting wife of said monster. It's a unique style, sure, but you can't
just do the same thing over and over again in life. Except smoke reefer,
of course, aww now you're balking my Claudell Washington.
"love thang" is a faithful cover of the kiss instrumental "love theme
(from kiss)" off their debut kiss. i do believe melvins cover the
cars candy-o on this one too. other melvins' kiss covers include god of
thunder and goin' blind... they've also been known to cover Peter
Green's the green manalishi (w/the two-pronged crown). melvins were at
their best between bullhead and stoner witch-- anyone who shelled out
$14 for prick or honky figured this out the hard way!
I'll agree that this album is one-dimensional. The tempo never
seems to let up. But I have to put in my two cents here- Lorax plays
some wicked bass on this album man! There is such a juicy tone to the
bass and she uses chords and stuff. It's pretty damn cool. Maybe its
just me, but this album is much slower than GPT. I think this is the
album that set the stage for classics like "Hag Me". While its not
classic itself, it paved the way for some interesting tunes. Oh and
dont forget that it must have been somewhat inspirational, cuz Helmet
covered the first song, "Oven". Even if helmet sux that counts for
something. Right?
Well I will start with Ozma cause it' s teh first Melvins Album I've got.
Oven Is awesome as is let god be your gardener, Now I am baiting myself here
cause I haven't heard Gluey Porch Treatments But I am getitng it now.
Personally I have a habit of skipping between Bullhead & Ozma as my standard
Melvins Early stuff bu tas I think about it more Bullhead is more memorable
but hey if you ask me it's worth it for oven
boner 1989 album is alot better than a rating of 8
it should be a high 10 and over.
I live in raymond washington near aberdeen and i have been a fan of the
melvins for a long time before i was a fan of nirvana. nirvana are one of my
favorite bands to.
I can't beleive that there are no true Melvins fans out
there with thoughts on Dead Dressed! I was fortunate enough to get Ozma as my first Melvins
album. I got it around '91, so I wasn't too far behind
the times, as far as the Melvins go. I still feel, to this day, that Dead Dressed and Cranky
Messiah are, by far, the best "one-two punch" in all of the Melvins' discography!
Even better than Gluey Porch.More focused,polished songs,and all of these stand out as classics.All of
these songs are over one minute and have the best of both sides,being slow and sluggish or fast and very
punky.One of the best that they have ever released.
Actually i think this albums pretty shit and deseres about 4 out of 10. I got Gluey Porch Treatments free
with this album and it totally kicks its ass. Ozma is dull.
i agree to a certain extent wit MR. Prindle here. it's pretty close to GLUEY PORCH but i
think OZMA is closer to BULLHEAD in many ways. for instance, here you miss the fast
punk-rock numbers you got on GLUEY. the fast twists and turns.
OZMA is pretty much slowed down to the speed of like, ZODIAC, ANACONDA and WITH TEETH.
it resembles much of the slower parts of GLUEY but that's about it.
just listen to CRANKY MESSIAH - it could just as well been a BULLHEAD track.
other favorite off OZMA are OVEN and LET GOD BE YR GARDENER.
As I mentioned on my comments regarding the previous record, it's not that
easy for me to make a clear distinction between the two...but I still know
enough to say that I actually think that this one is better than Gluey Porch
Treatments; atleast it rocks. That's the main difference that I can see;
this one has more rockin' riffs while GPT has more heavy ones of which few
are enough interesting. 5/10.
I'd call this one a "prog rock masterwork" but I hate progressive rock and besides there's no elves or gnomes or magic scepters involved (though the moo-moos the band wore on stage last time I saw them are dangerously close to the Rush "2112" era kimonos). "Ozma" is an ass kicker for sure and all this and that and it's great and waa-hoo and whatnot, but I find it the least satisfying of the pre-Atlantic label recordings as the production is very clean-yet-thin. True MELVINS mass is not quite achieved. It's also chock full of micro-data in a way that I don't think holds true for the previous or subsequent recordings - this is by no means a bad thing in and of itself, but I wonder if little more danger and fury in the production might help put it over (this view running counter to traditional production wisdom of course). I like to feel crunched by the very air I breathe when listening to MELVINS like the molecules have doubled in weight. I like to feel like I'm eating a giant mud pie in bed - so SCREW ya!
If you read comic books like a little boy, perhaps you've run across Brian Walsby's Manchild publication. Having grown out of 'the funny papers' around the age of eight, I am fortunate enough to say I've never heard of, let alone set eyes on, this collection of drawings for second graders. Yes, perhaps you're a member of the "comix" subculture of supposedly 'adult' males who sit around and masturbate to scribbles of naked unicorns, but being an overweight Star Wars fan living in my parents' basement has never been one of my ambitions so we'll have to agree to unagree on comics, except The Lockhorns or as I call it The Fucken Hilarious Lockhorns.
Guy With Long Hair Pulled Back Into A Pony Tail - Loser
Guy With Long Hair Playing A Blistering Hammer-on Solo - Rhodes Scholar
Guy With Long Hair Reading A Bunch Of Tits Somebody Drew - Community College Janitor
Glenn Danzig - Pushing It
There is no more understandable example of pure
heavy mean screwy Melvinism than this fine little record. Dumping all the
little dinky tunes that baffled listeners worldwide (okay, me) on the
last two records, the Melvos here give us eight fully-developed songs, most
of which are as good as anything on the last two albums. Wonderful stuff.
Ugly, menacing, and occasionally upsetting in its pokiness, this might be
a good place to start your Melvins collection. The songs have better hooks than
Ozma, are a bit easier to follow than (the slightly superior) Gluey
Porch Treatments, and
pound the heck out of you as well as anything on the last two, thanks to the
bludgeoning beats of Mr. Dale Crover,
who sincerely deserves the respect of heavy-handed drumboys every ol' place.
This is THE album, complete, thick and thunderous. "Bullhead" says it
all.
creepy crover!
Great album of course you will probalby hate it first time you hear it but
get into the songs and they will always be with you, Boris, It's shoved and
Zodiac are the three that immediatley come to mind. I cant get over how good
it's shoved is and if you have pitch control on your Record player it sounds
really good on all speeds ( I prefer really fasst 33rpm). The drum solo is
nice and frustrating to make people suffer to cause there is no sense of
rhythm at all ( until you know it, beat by beat)
Well, Mark, there's not much I can add to say to what you've already
pointed out here. I do think you are being too kind though. Anyone who
can't appreciate Bullhead obviously is not really listening to the
music. This stuff is anything but dull. If you play this album loud,
and just sit there listening to it it will take you places. Man, words
just don't explain it.
This one did take me a while to understand and love, but once it's in your
system it ain't gonna come out. Boris really does it for me, too bad at the
one Melvins concert I saw they didn't play it.
As perfectly realized and executed an album as, say, Sonic Youth's
Daydream Nation, albeit for entirely different reasons.
Bullhead is the kind of album a band is lucky enough to make only once
in its career -- although most bands never get close. But I'm being
redundant here; your review is right on.
The phrase "I played this one so much, I wore it out" holds true for
me on this one. I have hundreds of records, and didn"t even think you could
"wear out" a record, but I tell you one thing. I wore this sucker out. I
bought another copy! The Melvins live show during this point of thier career, was one
of the most incredible things you could experience. You havn't lived if this record doesn't make sense to you. Try it
again in a few years, you''ll understand then.
if only i got to choose over again after the first listen to this
album, i would`ve picked the vinyl edition instead of the CD edition.
i bought the CD which makes 7 sloooow and monotonious tracks just
gimme nothing (It`s Shoved excluded). the music on Bullhead must have heavy
production and "big" production to take effect. the Melvins may have
tried to make actual songs but only It`s Shoved work well in a format like
this. i don`t know how this album works on vinyl, but this CD recording
doesn`t punch me in the ribbs as Bullhead should be able to do. when i put
Gluey Porch Treatments on my turntable and rock the house with Eye Flys, i
can feel Dale`s poundings and feel my spine vibrate when Matt and Buzzo
pulls a string. in comparison, the groove of Boris doesn`t work that way.
well, i say it should! it`s the only downside to, really.
Bullhead is without question,THE BEST MELVINS ALBUM,EVER! All you have
to do is listen to it over and over again. It's Shoved is the heaviest
song ever. Man,I love this record.
Being a Nirvana fan I noticed that Milk It from In
Utero sounds like a direct rip-off of It's Shoved.
I don't know if this is a good thing.
Another jurassic journey of heavy-punk.With this album they plunge deeper into the realm of more great 3
chord riffs and their trademark style,and like Ozma,this is another very focused album,with great songs.A
mix of fast and slow,and only 8 songs.Short but very awesome.
bullhead is beautiful
On top of the heavy albums, with "Paranoid" and "Tyranny and mutation". "Bullhead" is maybe scarier.
If I had 8", I'd slap MY ham too! Heh heh HEEE!! HEEEEE!!! eh. pbl.
ernie hanks
founder, pabst blue lemons
Still goink! Very good! Too short, sure, but
the four songs on here are wonderful, especially the sidelong "Charmicarmicat,"
which repeats the same confusing, annoying little change over and over and
over again until you wanna kick yourself in the ballzzz. Ballzzz yeah! I like
the heavy Melvins. They're heavy yet they actually THINK about what they're
doing and come up with stuff unlike anything you've ever heard before, especially
by Matchbox 20. There's also a band called Those Melvins, but there's no
telling why.
I give it a 6.
First of all, there are only 4 songs on this EP,
and the running time is
under 20 minutes. One of the songs is over twelve minutes long by
itself. Once you get past all that, you're left with basic Melvins. The
first three songs are short and sweet. The first one has about 5 seconds
of guitar noise, the rest is just bass, drums, and vocals. The second
song is abnormally fast for Melvins, and rocks thoroughly. The third
song is mid-tempo and follows along the same lines. The last song,
"Charmicarmicat", is a 12-minute-plus fade-in-fade-out of an extremely
slow and heavy riff, complete with one beat of the drums about every two
seconds. It's quite hypnotic. In closing, this EP will leave you feeling
a little short-changed, but it marks the point in time where Melvins
became obsessed with whacky experimentation. I would only recommend it
to hardcore Melvins fans.
I love this EP. the first three songs are excellent, I really like the
section where it say's "I dont know why but i dont feel so (burpy
vocals)GOOD(end burpy vocals)
this ep must seem like all crap to the regular korn, nirvana or tool
fan and I can see why. in many ways, it feels like a waste to buy this record.
after what I heard live, hog leg is the biggest disappointment. the version
they played on tour in ’99 was awesome. fortunately charmicarmicat saves
eggnog from being a huge disappointment for me. it`s a perfect teaser for what
was to come on Lysol and it`s tempting to say it should`ve been on that
album but then again, it wouldn`t be any eggnog. I wouldn`t really want that
with cover-art like this. truly a classic album cover. no hard feelings.
Track 3 I think of Eggnog, the one with the obnoxious
feedback is sampled in 'Beercan' by Beck from the
Mellow Gold album. The filmclip even has Buzz in the
yard goin' off with his Gibson and Dale and Buzz
driving a forklift on someones driveway.
I should say, that it was the first album that i did heard of The Melvins,
very sonicslayeredmuzak!!!, i love every second on it from the beginnin'
'til the mere end, it used to be a girl playing on a brief term bass for
them, well surely never can't remind about her she was Lorna.
Great sounds from the garage by the true lords of the alternative/metal dune
buggie muzak!!!
At this point, the Melvs thought it would be
wacky if they each put out a solo record at the same time, patterned after
the abysmal Kiss solo albums from the '70s or whenever it was that those
crappy thing came out. Luckily, these are only EP's, so they have much less
time to bore the hell out of you. Buzzo's sounds a lot like... The Melvins.
Some noise experimentation and heavy metal riffing, some good, some dull. It's
overall good, but don't spend too much money on it because it's only about 12
minutes long. Dale drums on it, and as usual, he KICKS!
dale doesn't drum on it.
dale nixon does.
dale nixon is a pseudonym for dave grohl.
he also does the spoken word bit at the end.
dale does not drum on the king buzzo ep, dave groul does. hes under the
name..dale nixon.
dude, dave grohl sucked a big piece of burl art!
Dale Nixon is not a pseudonym for Dave Grohl, and he did not drum
on the King Buzzo e.p. ---- Buzz did all the drums, and he used the
name Dale Nixon as an in-joke. Because that’s the name Greg Ginn
used as a pseudonym when he played the bass on some of
the Black Flag records.
i asked buzz, dave grohl played drums.
If you're really into the Melvins why in the hell would you rag on KISS?
"Love thing",
"Goin' blind"and an intro to an OZMA song were all KISS songs.That's like
bein'
into Sleep but not Black Sabbath.KISS were the predecessors,bro.
C/Z records is not owned by Greg Ginn it is owned and operated by one,
Daniel House.
I get the impression that not everybody runs out to buy this little piece of
crap. Hell, most people even thinks Houdini is crap! Well, i can tell y’all
stupid people out there (let’s not hope there’s alot of them checking in on
this forum) that this piece of crap ain’t crap at all! It’s too short,
ofcourse but the reward you get for taking time to play these 4 songs is
stunning! Dave Grohl have some really interessting ideas. He pounds some
very Crover-like beats here. The thrilling patterns performed on Isabella
are just as good as anything Dale’s ever done and his humor (most noticably
on Skeeter) fits right in with Buzzo’s. I guess that’s why they dicided to
do this little project together. The only thing that gets on my nerves
sometimes, is the ”lyrics” sung by Buzz on Annum. Every goddamned word
starts with the letter L. This works very nicely as long as the Melvins play
loud, heavy distorted music, (which they ofcourse do most of the time) but
not here. Luckily Buzz decided to sing some real words and rhymes on the
Bootlicker. Oh happy day!!!
this is a cool EP. at first i though, why did i just pay nine pounds for this, but then i got stoned and it all
made sense. You can really feel 'out of it' when your listening to this. The songs arean't boring but you
have to be in an relaxed/sleepy mood to enjoy them. Buy it.Basicly the frist song two songs sound like
Buzz is getting his sounds from a shaver . The third song is a nice stucted song and track four is Dave
Grohl taking over somr brillant heavry music. This is the best track. Daves drumming is so good. Why the
hell did he release the new Foo fighters album. Buy this instead.
I'd rather not go into detail about my gastronomical state at the moment, but let's just say that if I were to start a diary today, it would be entitled "Diary Uh." As such, I'm taking the day off and calling in a substitute.
Man, you nearly made me spill Propel all over my keyboard. The way you can
merge your episode of self-arousal with fuzzy prog metal bands, I swear: I
nearly shat myself!
I've never heard that Dale Crover EP, but that turd story almost made me crap myself myself. No, those two myself's are not a typo. Having little or no interest in the stuff between Bullhead and Houdini, this review actually made me wanna seek the solo EPs out. I enjoy Joe Preston's other work quite a bit myself as well (Earth, High On Fire). 
Joe Preston was
a fellow who
played bass for the Mels only during this period. He wasn't on Bullhead
or Houdini - just this middle stuff. So then, judging from this
record, Mr. Joe (formerly a member of Earth, which also included a guy who
bought the suicide gun for Kurt Cobain) fit perfectly into the Melvins style.
Side one contains a couple of pointless throwaways, but side two is the ultimate
in grunge metal pain. "Hands First Flower" is one twenty-minute song that
develops and progresses and changes, but see, the actual melody is only that of
like a three and a half minute song. Joe just plays every chord so very slowly
that it's hard to tell that repetition is actually taking place. It is.
You just have to pay very close attention to notice. Anyway, it's a pretty
cool reason to buy this otherwise dispensible record. Is that how you spell
"dispensible"? Today is sunny. I need to buy some nice pants for a trade
show I'm
going to next week. We turned our air conditioner on last night, so even though
it's gross and warm outside, we're comfortable in our nice Manhattan apartment
of love. How are you? Do you have a beard like Joe Preston? Is it warm in
the summertime? My long flowing hair tickles my ass.
King Buzzo was a much better solo EP. If you don't have it, go get it (I
got all the solo ep's for $3 a piece at a used c.d store). It has this song
with Dave Grohl talking about when they were in Amsterdam and this guy
showed him his dick. It's a must have!
i liked the second song "bricklebrit" which is a mean industrial sounding
tune. Who is that old guy talking on that track, "denial fiend?"
Dale Crover's ep is by FAR the best of the three...
My favorite of the three. Yes, yes, he was short lived, and by that I mean
any self respecting Buzz fan's gotta hate him. Still, I think this was a
great EP. Hands First Flower introduced Drone Metal to the group. After
this, realize that the Melvins began to get real slow (besides 'Boris' of
course). Listen to the first 10 minutes of Lysol and you'll see that this
guy did have an influence. Well, anyway, he got sacked for being an
attention grabbing butthole (see back of Lysol), but it should be recognized
that he did have talent. 4.5/ 5.
All three of these EP's are so goddamn classic. Preston's is just the oddball of the three. It's got two badass tracks. And Hands First Flower is good and evil enough for me. But Crover's remains the best because of how fucking amazingly stoned out it is. And because he played ALL music and no weird noise tracks. But Buzzo's 'Annum' is probably my most favorite thing he's ever written. BUY THE MAGGOT. holla
never heard this, but I'd like to mention Joe Preston was in High on Fire recently has well, playing on the Blessed Black Wings album, which was a damn fine album. The newest one, Death is this Communion, is even better but Preston departed before it. Still, yay for High on Fire.
Like I said, Lysol sued, so now this record is
just called Melvins. The cover has a guy on a horse, but it's not
Prick, which ALSO has a guy on a horse and isn't very good. This is
a 35-minute track with no title. Actually, it's about five different songs
(two of which are covers) all stuck together. Good stuff! Let it flow,
let yourself go, slow and low, that is the style in which The Melvins are
playing on this particular release. Opens great with a heavy as lead
instrumental which flows into a decent though predictable original, a great
cover of Flipper's "Sacrifice," and a dandy run-through of Alice Cooper's
"Ballad Of Dwight Fry" (I've never heard the original; is it any good?) before
closing with a short but great Melv original. The music itself is really really
cool heavy hypnotic stuff, but you might end up feeling a little ripped off
when the album's over - I mean, two of the five tracks are covers? Side one
ends right when it's just gotten
going? Oh well. Look for it cheap. It says "JOE" really big on the back.
This is one of the best Melvins records. The first song Hung Bunny, is an
amazing example of what the MELVINS can do in 23 minutes. With Teeth is also a
great Melvins original.
Lysol is worth owning simply for the powerful glory of Sacrifice (which I
saw live and is totally devastating) and the Cooper song (which is almost
identical to the original version).
When you put on Lysol, its like youre listening to music from
another planet. Its slow and ponderous, but if you listen to it a few
times it will grow on you, i swear! I think the Melvins purposely did
stuff like this to weed out pure metalheads. This is heavy, no
question, but it doesnt rock the way their earlier stuff did. But I
like this almost as much as the other stuff. I just can't believe they
made this music without chemically altering their brains.
I remember standing in a record store in Chicago right after this came out.
The guy behind the counter said there was a new Melvins record in and asked if
I'd like to hear it. Sure, I said. I smiled as soon as I heard the first
note, and looking over at the record store dude I noticed he was smiling too.
After about ten minutes the other customers and employees were looking around
trying to figure out what the hell they were listening to. Ladies and
gentlemen, welcome to the Melvins.
pretty much the thing that matches the emotional poder whomp!
of the 20 minutes of Melvins (Cleveland the last song/feedback/
drum-gong solo) of live Melvins God has allowed me to witness.
As pure musical intent i think this is their high point, for "rock"
this stuff is very heady/conceptual w/o losing the point of
physical music. This is what I always thought the Swans were
headed towards mid-period. Well the Total Castration thing
kinda is w/o the honed phychedelic almost Mantra effect ...
I always wondered if the third song was a cover, no one could
identify it as such. The Flipper tune is Magnificent....as is the
Coop cover, these guys have a way with other poeples stuff.
This album always makes feel as if I just took some bong rips of some
skunk-smellin' dank. It's so repetitive and hypnotic but it also kicks major
ass since it's sooooooooooo slow and brutal. Turn it up loud so the entire
building will shake!!!! Lysol is a must for and hardcore Melvins
fan......even the cover songs are cool. Good stuff but too damn short (31
min.) so I give it a 9. Dale really pounds on this one!!!!!!!!!
I had been listening to the Melvin's for a while before I heard this and
had already decided they were the greatest band in the universe, but my god
the first time I listened to this was at 5 am after a night out and a few come
down cones with a friend. By the time side one was over we were both
quivering like frightened children in the corner of the room. With the stereo
at near max volume I swear to god I have never heard anything so brutal
or punishing on a listener ears, with it near hypnotic drone it shocks the
bejesus out of you when Dale actually starts drumming (a good 7 or 8
minutes in). Truly this the collimation of all that the Melvin's where trying
to achieve in the field of slow and annoying. This album changed my life
and the way I look at music forever.
My introduction to the Melvins.5.00 am,still a day away from
being straight,a friend plays it with the volume so loud i could not hear him talk,sitting
beside me,so i couldn't decide if he was trying to piss me off!
I can't speak for the other people in the house who were trying to sleep.As they
say,you have to go through hell to get to heaven.This is hell and
the Melvins don't sound like heaven.I haven't looked back..,only to get their earlier
stuff!
LYSOL is the second best Melvins record.Sacrfice.That's all I have to
say about this.Flipper is proud.
I put off getting this release for quite a while
because I was afraid it was going to sound like Prick.
TRUE STORY - I ordered this as soon as it came out from Boner Records. It took
a bit of time (no point and click ordering in them old days, kids!) as I
lived in Canada and I was SO EXCITED when it came in the mail! I ripped it
open and....it was one of the original ones that said "Lysol" which now had a
big piece of black duct tape over the word "Lysol". The cover was RATCHED and
the album itself was kinda scratchy! I put it on and as "Hung Bunny" hit the
speakers, with crackles and pops along the way, I got madder and madder. So I
immediately phone the number on the Boner catalog and let it ring, ring, ring
(it was probably something like 8 am in California at the time - fuck, I was
19, I didn't really think). A tired stoned-sounding guy answers the phone
after about 15 rings and while I was waiting I was really getting into what I
was hearing - then we have this s-l-o-w conversation which amounted to me
bitching about the crappy record and his response was something like "Well,
if you send it back........uhhhh........I can send you a new one? Sorry about
that". I would of taken him up on the offer, but after the first 2 minutes of
'Hung Bunny' no way would I go without this music.....Boner Records though,
despite this story, WERE a great label to mailorder through back in the day.
would give it an 8 out of 10, but for HEAVINESS or SLUDGINESS it gets an 11. it's cool to read comments from others on this album that NO ONE ELSE THAT I KNOW has (hey, I live in the boonies in Minnesota), but I can say that they're missing out! I'm apparently not the average metalhead since I've had this album since right after it was released and I've always loved it, I think the Melvins' music in general could be considered the thinking metalhead's heavy music and this one fits there if you ask me, with cover art that seems to hint at the plight of the very complex and historically-rooted problems of the original American Americans (otherwise known as "Native Americans" or "Indians")... I've been a Melvins fan for a long time, and the heavy, trudging-along feel and seamless transition between covers and originals on this album are amazing, trademark Melvins even though Joe Preston (whose "solo album" this essentially is) wasn't with the band very long, it's an often overlooked album that deserves the respect of all who enjoy any tunes by the masters called the Melvins!
CLINKER!
Why does everyone insist on smoking grass when listening to this stuff? Seems like a job for Valium or Xanax to me.....
"Melvins" aka "Lysol" is a good compact summation of everything I liked
about the early Melvins. I think the very fact that the whole CD is
just one track is evidence of how cryptic and unpredictable this band
could be. Then, when it takes 10 minutes for anything to get moving at
all, well, it's damn unsettling for the listener. And that's one thing
you gotta accept if you're gonna be a Melvins fan. Expect anything,
anytime. One minute you're thrashing your brains out, the next you're
listening to 2 minutes of silence, then you might hear the same note
repeated for 10 minutes... it's a frightening risk every time you put
the Melvins on the stereo. Try "Bullhead" if you need your Melvins in
a more song-based environment (though even then, you're in for some
shocks), try this one if you just don't give a fuck.
When Raymond Carver invented the peanut, it was God's way of saying, "Dyn-o-mite!" It's this
bevy of emotion that I feel went into the creation of England's golden boys, The Melvins from San
Francisco. This live CD, an early recording featuring non-original but still early bassist Lorax
(female), features the band at their most aggressively sluggish, as if the band is determined to
irritate the entire audience out of the club. The songs are The Tops, but most normal-eared
listeners would cry "Foul!" at the endless repetitions on the same schtick (slow, just a few
chords). But then, most normal listeners are enormous fans of Fannypack's "Cameltoe" off of
their hit debut CD Very Stylistic and have worn out at least four copies each on
their carving compact disc-playing chisel, so maybe it's time we separate the wheat (me) from the
chaff (them), the pearls (me) from the swine (them), the angelfish (me) from the bottom feeders
(them).
I've been accused of music snobbery, but I think in my
case, it's more about knowledge that taste. If I know
there are a bunch of awesome bands out there that no
one listens to, and assume that if these ignorant
mainstream lovers DID listen to these awesome bands,
they would love them, then I can say I have better
taste by virtue of having more developed,
well-researched taste. If someone likes Weezer more
than the Pixies and they're familiar with both bands,
fine. But if someone likes Weezer and has never heard
the Pixies...
I just saw the Pixies open for Weezer this summer, so I find those
comments very funny and odd, in the fact that you probably did not
know that such an event took place.
Their first record on a major label (????). Yessy,
thanks
to the support of Mr. Rich Kurt Cobain, Atlantic Records signed on the ornery
Melvins just to see if maybe they could probably be the next Nirvana. Nah.
The songs are certainly easier to follow than they were before, but that
doesn't make them any more pleasing to the ears of kids wild for liberal
emotional truths and self-pity. The Melvins have never had anything to do
with truth (as far as I can tell). They may be out to annoy, but not to
lead a youth uprising. Next Nirvana? Ha! So the album now - side one has
some wonderfully heavy songs, including "Honey Bucket," a speedy rollicking
number that kicks more patootie than probably anything else MTV aired in '93.
Side two is a bit "experimental," with a few songs not being heavy at all -
this probably really aggravated bigtime Melvins fans, but it was no joke. Buzzy
was beginning to get tired of grunge rock, see. And I get the feeling he'd started
listening to old Pink Floyd records. Keep reading and I'll further explain
what it is I'm talking about.
This is the only Melvins record in my record collection but I cannot wait
to add their other records to my collection. Thanks for the
reviews, as now I know to some extent, what the other records sound
like. : ) But, for the love of God (er, I mean Satan), I would like
to add that "HONEY BUCKET" IS THE HEAVIEST SONG EVER!!! There.
this is my favorite album of theirs because its got more of a "seattle" sound.
stoner witch sounds a little too country for my tastes.
Good review overall, and dammit, side two is weak, especially compared
to side one. Don't like the Kiss cover all that much either -- King of
the Nightime World or God of Thunder would have been better, hell, even
Strutter would have been better. But jeez louise pluh-eeze: Night
Goat. Just fork me with a thousand million tines if that isn't the
ultimate sacrifice at the altar of all things heavy!
honey bucket is indeed the melvins best "song" in the sense that it's
catchy, heavy, and of less than excruciating duration (admittedly part
of their charm for many). i heard this song's got a cool video with
cheerleaders dancing along (no, i don't mean the nirvana video). if
only honey bucket was on bullhead, their best album.
Hell fuckin' yes! You just gotta love the ground-breaking sound and that slow
grinding sludge that characterizes this kick-ass album. This one shows them
at there best along with Ozma. Honey Bucket rocks like no other song ever
produced and Hag Me is the best damn slow sludge song ever! Turn it up loud
so your lame pad will shake and rattle. I've seen these dudes in Dallas twice
and they performed some truly exceptional shows. One time they played all of
Stoner Witch and all the good shit from Houdini. People that repeatedly rip
on the Melvins are ignorant fucks that seem to enjoy being sell-outs. Ever see
King Buzzo play the base and play June Bug?.....it rocks. Dale Crover rules!
I don't care what anyone says about this being their sell-out
album. Houdini is probably one of the darkest records ever made (dark
im saying, not depressing, if you want depressing put on JOy Division).
If there's any part of the album that even hints at selling out its the
fact that Kurt Cobain's name appears more than once in the liner notes;
their music is still utterly Melvinesque. I would agree that "Set Me
Straight" really wears out after a while, but i'll still maintain that
the B side is a true example of geniuses at work when it comes to the
rumbling or squalling feedback. "Joan of Arc" and "Teet" are probably
the hardest songs to have to listen to back to back, but thats what
makes the Melvins so great. Who said it had to be easy to listen to?
Hell, the main bass line of "Night Goat" is unbearably unsettling and it
just gets heavier from there. Aside from that damn Kiss cover, (which
they did a great job of Melvinizing in any case), that A-Side kicks
everlovin' ass. It took me a long time to figure out how Buzzo got such
a trebly, yet bassy tone out of his palmuting on that album, and i think
thats part of what makes it great. "Hag Me" is practically all palm
muting, but it practically shreds up your speakers! Man, what a great
album. "Honey Bucket" will probably go down as the heaviest fucking
song ever written long after our Melvins are dead, but as long as they
get the recognition sometime who cares. If it wasn't for a couple lame
tracks this album would be a ten. So kudos to Mark for being so right
this time, good review man.
What?! You're fuckin crazy! Sky Pup is an
awesome song, one of my favourites. The bassline
is so damn catchy, it makes you want to dance
and gets stuck in your head hella. I think this
was one of their best albums.
Just wanted to inform everyone that might make them laugh- I read an interview
that said that the Melvins sent Gene Simmons (bassist extrodonaire..tehehe) a
tape of "Going Blind" and good old Gene went out and bought a brand new tape
player cause he thought his was broke and was playing tapes too slow. That's
the essence of the Melvins, eh?
there aint much I can say here which hasn't been said yep Hooch, Honey
bucket, Night Goat and Lizzy are awesome, Yep side two is dodgy at best, and
yep it was done on Atlantic Dime
I Like every song on the album. (spread eagle beagle is just different).
The Melvins are the best band around today. I just hope they keep going
strong forever.
I dont know what it is about this album, maybe its the production
or sumthin, but I totally think that this is the melvins heaviest album out of
all of them. I basically have all of their albums but none of them
seemed as heavy as this one. This was the first album i ever bought of the
melvins and I was so surprised at how they sounded they were so heavy
it almost scared me.Too bad everybody cant appreciate their
awesome music especially my stupid little brother who keeps giving me
crap about how much they "suck" and how boring they are.
true energy in a very rare form.one of those albums that comes along every ten yaers
and just blows you away.this album changes your view on music.most of the
time the melvins dont really capture what there capable of on thier albums,
but this time it worked.this album has thier live spirit.it creates visuals
in your mind.they picked a great song by kiss to cover (there version is
better).best songs are:hooch,night goat,hag me,joan of arc,teet,and copache.
Excellent.On this album they produce lengthier songs and a more straight forward style,but with a few
complex rythems.Every song on this album is over one minute and most are three minutes with a few four
minute songs strown around.There's even a seven minute song.They still have the same trademark
sound,but with diffrent feel and approach.I like most others better,but this still kicks.
As a settlement to the redneckish comments of this homeboy, i must say that
Stoner Witch is a cult classic slab, loved by some "fingercount" loyal
fans and hated by millions of senseless morons without any good apreciation
of muzak!...
Pretty good record. "Honey Bucket" is definatly one of the best melvins songs
ever. Man that song cooks so much! The rest arent as good, but theres some
really great Melvins tunes here and there ("Hooch", "Night Goat", "Lizzy",
"Joan Of Arc"), and some weird ass ones ("Pearl Bomb", "Spread Eagle", "Sky
Pup"). I agree with the 8. Kurt Cobain supposedly co-produced this one and
helped out (Guitar on "Sky Pup").
following a weird, experimental solo-EP by the Melvins captain, Buzz and a big money move
to Atlantic records, this was just the thing one would expect. the Melvins are getting
weirder and doing what they can wit all the money available (lucky son's of
bitches...didn't last long, though).
hey...i havent heard the melvins houdini record in a few years but i remember
that THE worst song ever recorded in the entire history of recorded sound is
on this album--the last track spread eagle beagle...my god why oh why would
you write a 13 minute long "song" with nothing but the exact same drumbeat
the ENTIRE TIME?!?!??!?!?!
I was surprised at how much better this album sounded last time I listened
to it. I think what's reallay good about this is that it's heavy music
stripped of all other nonsence...the nonsence can be good sometimes but when
you've heard it so much, naturally you don't need any more of it. So when
you're young you still need it and when you need it you don't really dig
Houdini, but then years later you'll see that prehaps the main asset of this
record is just about the nonesence; it's gone so here you have a
hardrock/metal album without cliches. Surprisingly songs that have even less
variety that what you'd consider as mainstream metal, actually sound more
interesting here. 7/10.
Well it took a while to find a Melvins album at a decent price, but it's turned out to be well worth the wait. An absolutely fantastic record that gets better with every listen. I initially found my interest trailing off during the second half, now I rejoice like a bastard when it comes around. But really, you are setting yourself up for a difficult task with such a strong opening passage. I really do like them all, so I'll have to go with 'Lizzy', 'Going Blind' and 'Honey Bucket' as my favorites.
Like most people who got into the alternative nation
through Beavis n Butthead in '93-'94, this the first
Melvins i heard. I like Gluey Porch Treatments, Ozma
and Bullhead a little better but this has plenty of
good stuff. Hooch and Honey Bucket are the hits here
and Sky Pup has a nice assist from Kurt. 9 of 10 for Houdini.
Why do the Melvins insist on being so hit & miss thus managing to similtaneously rule & suck? But if there was one Melvins album that you had to take to a desert island this would be it - just for Sky Pup and Honey Bucket. You probably already know that Lizzy is about Elizabeth Montgomery (of Bewitched) and King B originally wanted to title it Lezzy.
Well, apart from stating that I am a huge Melvins fan, Houdini is not their best record. However it does contain "Night Goat" (done better, slower and heavier on a seven inch single from Amphetamine Reptile records) and the utterly inconcievable "Honey Bucket," which is perhaps the greatest song in the Melvins' canon. It's a clasic not only because of it's storming riffage, solid as lead drumming, but also for it's lyrics. I heard once that Buzzo didn't bother to write actual lyrics 'cuz no paid attention to them anyway. But I think "Honey Bucket" is an exception to this philosophy. A smaple lyric will illustrate why; note the approxamite translation: I am operating without the benefit of a lyric sheet.
Like Goda Canca Gleen
I goota moda fanca wheel
Reel fast and mean
Jackie masta fafoo lay
Reel fast and mostaf all
Been around this monda tine
Make shoft inda wall
My first introduction to this wonderful band was picking up a used
(read: discarded promo) copy of "Houdini". My first thought was: so
this is what "grunge" is, in its purest form. Cool! Sign me up. I had
no idea at the time that their oeuvre (thanks, spellcheck) as a whole
was to get so experimental and varied. As much as I've explored the
Wonderful and Frightening World of the Melvins since then, I still
maintain that the trio of albums that the band did for Atlantic are
their best work. I pretty much love the hell out of this album from
start to finish, except for the long drum solo ("Spread Eagle Beagle")
that concludes the album (what is it, like 11 minutes long?
weeeiiirrddd...).
This album brings back so many memories. I love “Honey Bucket”. I remember back in 1994 a couple of high school friends and I formed a “punk” band and “Honey Bucket” was the first song we ever played (hey I can still play it on drums todayJ). It was a bitch to figure out the lyrics though. Good album, pretty weird if you think of it.
Not too cool you doggin' Set Me Straight and Copache man. Those songs are just so fucking classic. There's only two songs on this astounding album that don't steal your shit right from you. And they are 'Pearl Bomb' & 'Sky Pup'. Both just crap worse than anything on PRICK. Spread Eagle Beagle is like a very abstract piece of art that you don't get but you just keep staring until you can make some sense out of it. And I did, and I love it. And no one did that in '93.
This was that album that made me a convert to the Melvins hand jive. Easier to follow, and at better song lengths, you know? And the first five songs are all winners, especially Honey Bucket-bottled intensity! I really hate Kiss, but Goin' Blind sounds perfect for the Melvins-it sounds kinda dumb by Kiss but coming out the Melvins' oriffi, it sounds twisted in the right way. Lizzy does the quiet verse/loud chorus better than most grunge bands at the time-speaking of which, I think You Set Me Straight sounds more like a Nirvana takeoff.
Just dicking around. Actually released under
the name "Snivlem" to avoid legal hassles, this is a whole lot more of that
silly "experimentation" crap that we heard a little of on the last record.
Now, the country under Mr. William Clinton knows that I'd never sneeze my nose
at the idea of dicking around, but this nonsense just wears really darn thin
after about ten minutes. "Rickets" has a groovin' beat and "Pick It N' Flick
It" is a funny as hoo guitar solo, but nothing else on here is much worth
listening to. Oh sure, there are some pleasant enough noises every here, there
and yes sir, but none of it is worth hearing twice, which is really sad because
the Melvins used to be "da bomb," as the kids say for some reason, but this
boring album presents them as not just "not da bomb," but in fact "not even
Rappaport," as I say for no reason at all. I'm not Rappaport!!!
the way i see it, the melvins owe me $14.00! the levels of irony
inherent in such a release are much more interesting when observed at
someone else's expense. at least black flag was honest enough to spell
out a record's contents to the consumer, i.e. "this release contains NO
music."
The best part about Prick is its insight into the sadistic crowd
manipulation side of the Melvins (which is continued in the singles series)
- I guess they get pissed off at the audience (which is understandable when
they open up for the likes of Tool or White Zombie) and then linger on a
near silent drone with pounding drumbs in the background. Other than the
Melvins character study aspect of it all - its worthless.
yea too bad the fans suffer from this Melvins version of a practical
joke. This album was definately made to piss ppl off. Someone, i
forget who, said something about this ep that made a lot of sense- It
was made purposefully as some shit no one in their right mind would buy
in order to seperate ppl who just got into them with Houdini and the
whole seattle thang and their true fans. The mentality would be, well
ppl who dont know us will buy the record and be turned off from our
sound, but ppl who knew us before Houdini will stick around for the long
haul. Fortunately, one of my friends wasted his money on this record
before i could. It's worth a couple listens, but after that i would
feel gypped. I am so glad one of my friends also bought the singles
before me too, but we'll get to that later hehe. Anyway, judging by how
much Stoner Witch rocked, i think this "shitty little record" was a
calculated move on the bands part. They purposely suck when they want
to- its just obvious. I remember a show i was at a couple of years ago
and there were all these meathead jocks in the crowd who kept yelling,
so in retaliation The King Buzzo and Mark D stood still for like 10
minutes holding the same note of feedback in check while Dale took a
nap. It was hilarious.
I was thinking they meant to name this one "Pricks", 'cause that's what I
thought of them after listening to this piece of shit. There are a couple of
decent numbers as pointed out by Mark, and in hindsight, I'm amused by their
joke. I left the price tag on the CD to remind me of how much I paid for it.
I didn't bother selling it back to a record store, but I guess that's what
ends up separating the fans from the hangerons. One of the reasons I love
the Melvins is they are always pushing the boundries. Too many bands (yawn)
play every fucking thing they write the same fucking way every fucking time
they play it. Whether they're playing a joke or writing straight forward
rockers the Melvins are interesting. Not necessarily original all of the
time, but interesting. They're an aquired taste too. You can listen to one
tune and like them, but to love and appreciate them takes time. I didn't like
Bullhead, Honky or Stag at first, but I grew to love them. You eat
bland, fairly tasteless food when you're young, as you grow older you learn to
appreciate rich, flavorful foods-the Melvins.
I never bought the album cause I was warned off it by a reliable source but
I do have a prick experiance. Y'all thought you were rippe doff $15 for the
album I was ripped off $80 cause I bought The DOD guitar distortion pedal
'Buzz Box' which is designed by Buzzy an dused all through Prick. Those of
you who dont know what i am talking about can possibly gather what i am
about when a quote from Buzzy "I cant believe they made it, it sounds like a
vacuum cleaner. No I dont use it anymore, mine broke and I wasn't paying for
another one." Straight from th eman himself.
A simple thought, to address what seems to me to be needless discussion: I
am so much a fan of the Melvins that I but everything they produce because
it helps to keep them around. I never complain and often delight (for years
and years to come). All hail!
I actually have a friend who likes it better than Houdini! Yeah I
know, I don't get it either. Anyways, there's nothing I can say about this
release that hasn't already been said, except I keep laughing during the
pure digital silence. And Larry's a rocking good song. Damnit.
You bitchy pansies! FEEL the 'Prick'! 'Rickets' is one of the coolest
songs ever. Get with the damn program; all that show their ass about
this record, shut up~you're too stupid to wipe your noses.
'Chief Ten Beers' is just wonderful, 'Larry', et all....thanks for the
sense of humor, buzz/dale. That's all
I've got to say, geekboys. In conclusion, to all you closet critics,
find your balls...and, maybe, one day,
you can find your PRICK.
prick is the last melvins album...it should have been released before
houdini so that we could seperate the melvins which are the only
listenable music EVER written, from the melvins who wane in declining
music of the people...if you dont understand it, go buy a marilyn manson
record (or stag which is the same) or a metalica record(or
stoner witch,
which is the same) and become useless...once one has totally grasped the
earlier melvins(and this MUST include prick, one has no need for any
other music, one is transfigured and transcended in and by it...
Prick specifically reminds me of the Melvins show at Ozzfest. In the
front row are all these stupid motherfuckers wearing their Limp Bizkit and
Korn shirts. Well out come the Melvins who see these stupid asses and
decide to fuck around. They play a solid set lasting about an hour and a half
of just solid fucking noise. So all these kids after about 20 minutes have
had enough and take off. This leaves me and about five people who
actually know what the Melvins are about, and we're just like,Fuck yeah.
I have to say that I think every Melvins release kicks ass!!!
Even Prick! A big FUCK YOU to those who hate it. I've sat in my room trippin out to
that CD loving every CRAZY minute of it. It gets even crazier
when you have to listen to "Pure Digital Silence" for a bit and wallow in your own
mind. MELVINS 4LIFE!!!
love the inner art and the "guy that sat around and did nothing" cool
indian chants,bells, and cheers back the music. "how about" is kick ass for
just a spoken word thing. "chalk people" sounds like buzz whipping some
cattle into line. if you don't like this, then go listen to n'sync or
something. 14:20 "roll another one" intro
rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Prick is a damn good release, if you don't like prick, or at least love it,
you can all blow me. and the melvins for that matter. I happen to really
like prick, it's just another melvins album, what can i say? if you don't
like it, you don't like it. but if you do.....that's another story, one
which i know nothing about, obviously i am rambling..
Prick is a fantastic album. I've spent many an hour stoned out of my mind
listening to it.
It's not a rip off. It's just totally bizzaro. Some people just can't handle
that sort of thing
and reaveal themselves to be intolerant assholes. The kind of fans the
melvins deliberatley
try to get rid of.
translation, darylkirpalani: It is "needless"
discussion because they happen to have an opinion
different than yours?
I read your King Buzzo interview and he said that this release was, in
fact, premeditated, planned, and released seriously. Hmm. Okay.
You're way cooler than I, Buzz. I'll give you that. I listened to it
a couple of times (it was my second purchase after "Houdini" - imagine
my (ball of) confusion) and said "huh?" and eventually traded it in.
Wish I'd kept it... that silent track, in retrospect, kicks John Cage's
ass!
One last stab at heaviness, Stoner Witch
is kind of like a more strapped down version of Houdini that replaces
jokey experimentalism and instantly hooky riffage with an initially
unremarkable yet ultimately satisfying enough batch of fairly straight grunge metal
songs. Soundgarden with a growler, say, or mid-period Metallica without the
speed ("Revolve" in particular sounds almost absurdly Hetfieldian), this
album sort of lacks the delightfully sick idiosyncracies that make the other Melv
records such a golly, but fans of the heavy will probably find a lot of digginess
in the slipstream innyweigh. Plus, the last three songs are mucked up enough to confuse
and impress any and all patient enough to bang the box through the first
eight. The bass line in "Lividity" makes my entire apartment shake, for ex
amp le.
I have all melvins since their major label debut, and i am currently
working on getting the old stuff... but i think this album is not just
special, it's brilliant. I have read all i could scrounge on their old
stuff, and i know they have always been doing heavy, slow grunge stuff
and real fucked up experimentation... but both of those things seem to
meld together so perfectly here! prime example = "magic pig detective": 3
and a half minutes of pure fuzz, then it turns into a kickass rock song.
It's fucking cool and it makes you think. I agree that it takes patience
to listen to melvins, but it's well worth the wait. And Stoner Witch
is the greatest recording since Master Of Puppets.
Great title. But the riffs just don't do it for me. I mean, a good
riff has gotta pop some zits, and there is no zit popping going on here
with these riffs. Gimme the early stuff, man. And give me that Melvins
spinoff, Acid King. They are flying the flag, and the Melvins are
moving their bowels. I recommend not nibbling... I'd probably drop
this release a couple nachoes....notches.... whatever.
The first album I got of the Melvins, and the one that got me hooked. It's
just too bad the rest of the world didn't hear it, I think they would have
liked it.
Damn, don't you guys think you're being a little harsh on Stoner
Bitch? The B side is a bit slow, but there is some great shit on this
album. "Queen" is a damn catchy song that shows excellence in all of
the instruments(the contrast between low and loud on this one blow away
any other "grunge" songs ever), and "sweet willy Rollbar" harks back to
the pre-GPT sound, except much heavier, and much louder! Have any of
you noticed that the Melvins recorded this album at really high levels?
It's fucking loud! Trust me, play one song from this album and then
play any song from the first 6 Sabbath records. Tell me theres not a
huge volume difference! Anyway i better just shut up and not say how
awesome "June Bug" is. That song is a real teaser man. Ok, so to get
to the point this album is not a ten, but it damn well deserves at least
an 8 or 9. Cmon man!
I would have to say that this is my favorite melvins record, and i have all of
their cds, with the exception of the solo EPs which have proven hard as hell
to get a hold of. Sweet Willy Rollbar is my all time favorite song- from any
band. A ten of an album. Oh shit! My kitchen just caught fire... I better be
going.
Have you ever heard any thing more beautiful (did you ever think you'd see
that word used with the Melvins?) or even trippy than "Shevil"?
stoner whitch i think
deserves a rating of ten to. it is a powerful album. I lisson to that album
constently everyday before i lisson to nirvana's bleach album i dont know
why it just seems like the right thing to do.
Stoner Witch is as near a straight ahead rock album as the Melvin's
where ever going to make (except maybe Crybaby) but damn it's still a great
album the first few songs are some of the best rocks songs I've ever
heard, if no one else is going to make some good ones why shouldn't the
Melvin's have a go at it, and "At the stake" is as engrossing as any Melvin's song.
I just have to throw my 10 cents worth in,just this being my
personal fave.Melvins album.I've had parties just with myself,Jack Daniels and Stoner
Witch.
Stoner Witch has got to be that baddest album ever! If only they
would have put on their Kiss God of Thunder cover it would be complete (not to
mention Priest’s Green Manlishi!). Revolve, please, song absolutely
rocks. Saw a Melvin’s Stoner Witch Album with Helmet Betty in Seattle five
years ago and my head still hurts. Melvin’s Army.
What can i say, my second Melvins album and my last one to date. Saying
that i only got this about a month or two ago. Im scared to buy
another Melvins record incase it doesnt live up to the greatness of this
one!!. It's one of the best damn albums i have EVER heard!!!!!!!!! Buy this
motherfucker if it's the last thing you do !
Quick and to the point, thats me.
queen is one of the best melvins songs ever.although i personally think it
would of been better on bullhaed.this album wasnt recorded that great but the
solid songs make up for it.best songs are:skeetis,queen,roadbull,at the
stake,shevil, and magic pig detective............ what a name
yez, now i feel i can take the time to sit down and really get my views to
text cuz with the other reviews on this site, i was a bit too fast really. I
never got to sit down with the albums for more than about 5 or 6 listenings.
An album takes time you know, to sink down into yer system. Very often it
takes months. But i’m sure y’all know that…
The best since Ozma.With this album being more punk based it is a must for me.Also including quiet arty
tracks such as Shevil and Lividity.I must say that Shevil puts me in a dream world every time I hear
it.Amazing songs.
i would like to say that stoner witch is a excellent album. this album rocks, every song is great. there are no fillers and with each listen it gets better and better. buy this album right
now if you dont already own it
Christ on crutches...
The more I read about The Melvins, the more I got interested, and yet I still opted for the pussy's way in by starting off with a couple of what are often called their more comparatively "mainstream" albums, then backtracking later. Thus, this album and Houdini are the only Melvins albums I currently have. I can see where people can say they lost some of their idiosyncracies here, even the not-that-much-less-commercial Houdini comes off a bit weirder than this, but on the other hand it's still too much weirder than your average metal album to be a "sell out"; I imagine anyone that got lured in by the Soundgarden/Metallica-isms of "Revolve" most likely brought the thing back to the store during the first 3 digital-feedback-drone-filled minutes of "Magic Pig Detective" convinced they were sold a defective copy. So yeah, it's more straight "stoner metal" than you'd expect, but pretty good stuff, although it probably sounds a bit better to me than it actually is because even if a riff or melody is less than memorable, I'm usually too busy being bashed in the face by the low-end to even notice. Put the thing on your headphones and it practically feels like Dale Crover is drumming inside your skull, and yet everything else is coming in loud and clear (but mostly loud) too. That's how a raw heavy album is supposed to sound, Metallica circa 2003! Because all of Metallica are reading my comments on Mark Prindle's page right now. So basically I can see where I wouldn't like it quite as much as I do now once I've heard the more radical extensions of the Melvins' sound, but for now I dig it. Oh, and "Road Bull" rules, especially that completely unexpected martial drums and whistling ending.
This one's a slight step down from Houdini... "Queen"
is the most accessible one on here and reminds me of
"Night Goat", "Revolve" is cool too, and some of the
experimental moments are alright. Not quite up there
with the best Melvins though. Agreed on 7/10.
No doubt..."Queen" is very killer, as are "June Bug" and "Lividity." I fact, his excellent album closes the Melvins "Normal" period quite effectively. I realy like this record, as I do most previous Melvins stuff, but I maintain my position that their output is scattershot at least.
Eye Flys
Let God Be Your Gardener
Boris
Night Goat
Honey Bucket
Queen
Lividity
June Bug
Way Of The World
Theresa Screams
It's Shoved
Anaconda
When they say STONER witch. Jesus christ they weren't joking. This is THE fucking Stoner album. At The Stake will hurt your balls with how sick it is.
My very first Melvins album (after reading your reviews), and at the time, I hated it, I tells ye! I think I described it to someone as "A cross between Metallica and Sonic Youth-only not as good." But then, time has past and I now realize that not only is this a good album, but the Melvins are better than Metallica or Sonic Youth. Revolve is a somewhat straightforward rocker (as is Queen) that turns into something of a Southern rock jam, Roadbull is sort of Mr. Bungle-ish (love the caveman NEED FREEDOM! exclamation) Goose Freight Train sounds exactly like what The Bootlicker would later be, and Shevil is a beautiful, but menacing drone.
If you're anything like me, you like comic books. All kinds of comic books. Red comic books, brown comic books. And your name is Tom. Unfortunately, my name's not Tom and I don't like comic books. But "Barbara Al" Yankovic does, and look at this hilarious parody of a comic book!
Heaviness is almost completely gone, leaving a
silly experimental bent behind to deal with what are basically a bunch of
fairly unexceptional melodies, with the notable exception of "Black Bock,"
a cuntyfried rocker with a nice Dave Gilmoury vocal jammin' the falafel. Baby,
I can suck the reasons Buzzo freaked re grunge and dumped the crang, but this
new jap gots to have some stylywhig. Ain't no winkadink goan save lack o'
melodious innovativiness. Sure, she cute but where's the knockers???? Without
heavy, the levee gots a crevee. Funkadelic garbageman!!! Interesting production
harks shouts of Downward Spiral, another fantastically well-mixed
record with few to zero outstanding riffs, but why listen twain???
Noises are nice, but I need more
meat on my Top Hat Bones. I'm not Rappaport!!! This album is not "da bomb"!
It's still pretty interesting, though, and much quirkier than the semi-traditional
Boner Bitch. Love they or hate they, at least the Melvins don't sound
like any other band alive and kicking.
Better than Stonertits, maybe... maybe not. Here's to artistic growth
and all, but I agree with your review completely: there's gotta be
something going in the Wheaties. Hell, they ain't even pissing in these
Wheaties. Give Buzzo a laxative somebody! Then clear the room and
press record... like I said about Stoneritis, either go back to the
old stuff or take a trip to Meteorcity.com and see what is really going
on in heavy these days, like Fu Manchu, Acid King, Electric Wizard, and
the mighty mighty Kyuss, now broke up, and everyone should be sobbing.
I am. Sob.
the melvins motto: there's another one born every minute. i taped the
two or three moments of interest from this exercise and dumped it at my
local used cd store. here's what they said: "yeah, we expect to see a
lot of these comin' back."
Well, I LIKED Stag, so nyah, nyah, poo-poo on you.
this was my first experience with the melvins. since then i have bought
all of their cds, and still like stag as one of my favorites. its not as
raw as gluey porch, and not as memorable as bullhead, but it still rocks,
in a different way. besides, they had the biggest production budget for
this one, so they just had a little fun with it.
I really like stag. It seems to be the only melvins record with a
"nice sound" to it. And about half the song are fantastic, and there's
a lot going on. Tipping the lion and Black Bock are pretty light and
trippy but they're both really good, and show off a good range of style.
The Bit is phenomenal, and Hide is pretty good too. And there's a bunch
of buzzo rockers too -- Buck Owens, Skin Horse, Berthas. Unfortunately
there's some lame material here too (it comes in clumps too). The
production and range of sounds on Stag is a lot better than any of the
other Melvins.
I am shocked! Appalled!!!!!!! How come no one respects this album
the way they should?!??!?! Stag is easily the biggest creative leap
the Melvins made yet. The heaviness is admittedly gone, but who cares?
I wouldnt want a bunch of records that all sounded the same. I think
they played out the heaviness shtick, and needed to take a breather with
something else. There are so many different types of sounds(noises?) on
this album its hard to swallow all at once, and maybe thats why no one
likes it, cuz they didnt listen enuff. Sure, i was poised (me and half
the world) to hate this album when it came out, cuz it had so much hype
behind it saying it was weird, but upon deeper investigation this album
is very satisfying. There are a couple filler tracks, but i think the
other stuff is great! It's just a break in trend from theyre heavier
stuff, and maybe thats why no one likes it. Cuz maybe half of the fans
are just trendy bastards! Maybe, maybe not. All I know is that its a
good thing they broke the trend and did a album that didnt have a heavy
feel. Their version of butthole surfers is at least amusing, and at
best powerful music. It's powerful without necessarily being heavy, and
thats what makes it so great. "Black Bock" sounds like a demented
version of REM's pop sound, and "Goggles" is pure butthole surfers type
weirdness. They run the gamut: complex punk riffage, numbing blues,
oddities of all sorts, some good ole heaviness, and plenty of twists and
turns. Well this album might not be your cup of tea, but its mine so
HAH!
Isn't it great not knowing what the next song (or the next album/CD) is going
to sound like? Cheers to another addition to the collection.
Stag is one of the best albums I've ever heard, and to any of the
"Melvins fans", on this page who continuously shit on this album, I think
the real fans will join me in saying "FUCK YOU".
"Goggles" made me a Melvins fan. I was sitting at Lollapalooza 96
waiting for the Cows to take the third stage and heard it while I was
waiting. I haven't heard a heavier or more frightening song yet.