I have long been a fan and proponent of intelligent noisy music, so it's no surprise that the Blood Brothers and the Locust are right up my nasal passage. In fact, aside from the blaring bitchy vocals that mar the Blood Brothers' latest (Crimes), I would barely hesitate to call my nose a fan of both bands. And as long as we're talking about music and my nose, those Yeah Yeahs Yeahs aren't too bad either, nose-wise. Taking all three of these sentences into account, wouldn't one naturally assume that a side project featuring 2 Blood Brothers, 2 Locusts and 1 Yeah would be quite a brainy winner in the noise department?
Well, first of all, there is no 'noise department.' Secondly, and some might argue more importantly, this EP is basically a big ol' fuckin' headache from beginning to end. It combines an interesting assortment of guitar noises, one of the world's less annoying young screamo talk/shouters, a distorted bass mixed so low you can only hear it when everybody else is completely silent (never), a migraine-inducing high-pitched lead guitar tone, and an intense speedtastic drummer who pummels the planet into dust while switching from herky-jerk smashing to THUBBA-THUBBA-THUBBA brain swelling every few seconds. Then it wastes the whole mess on a vast, ever-changing array of shitty, instantly forgettable riffs.
Some facts: the CD features 7 songs in 9 minutes and 42 seconds. The songs are entitled "Radical Friends," "I'm A Taxidermist - I'll Stuff Anything," "Prick Class," "Street-College," "New Soak For An Empty Pocket," "Thrash Zoo" and "Michael J. Fux Feat. Gnarls In Charge." The band members are Justin Pearson (The Locust, Some Girls), Gabe Serbian (The Locust), Jordan Blilie (Blood Brothers), Cody Votolato (Blood Brothers, Waxwing), and Nicolas Zinner (Yeah Yeah Yeahs). The disc was released by Three.One.G Records, a commendable obstreperous label that has released work by such fine vociferous outfits as Arab On Radar, Cattle Decapitation, Get Hustle, Orthrelm, Quintron, the Chinese Stars, and aforementioned Locust Blood Girls. But enough facts. Facts are like assholes: everybody's got 'em and they're all the opening at the lower end of the alimentary canal through which solid waste is eliminated from the body.
Ha! A little 'fact' humor for all the 'fact-heads' out there.
Some opinions: the CD features 1 good song in 9 minutes and 42 seconds. The other six songs are content to go from repugnant part to agonizing high-pitched part to punishing drum part to characterless hardcore riff part, occasionally sneaking in a couple of really inventive racket-as-music bits to grab your ear for a moment before the next change. Let me make something clear here -- I'm fine with songs that change a billion times in one minute. What I'm not fine with are songs that change from one uncompelling part to another insufferable part a billion times in one minute. Sadly, too much of this EP features just that sort of compositional regression. Or sideways gression, if there's a term for that. Nongression?
Here are a few song descriptions for further reader clarity:
BAD SONG: "I'm A Taxidermist - I'll Stuff Anything" - Tapataptap speed drumbeat. Basic down & up chord sequence. Then good pummeling bit, back into basicy chord sequence, annoying stop-start thingy, then handclaps and yucky guitar note. Bad punk riff set to disagreeable drumming.
OKAY SONG: "Prick Class" - Doodly-doo-doo (x2) wicky wicky wicky wicky! Fun guitar noises. Then guy bends strings, low bass and high dee-doo guitar with slow drums. Drunk-sounding part! And echo/delay on "Yah!" vox. Right guitar sounds like someone playing a tape at high speed. Then super-low chug-a-chug yucky part. High pitched right speaker - or is it a keyboard?
GOOD SONG: "Michael J. Fux Feat. Gnarls In Charge" - Interesting drum thubba-thubba and dark mood! Abrasively trebly part, of course. Up-down note drops sound pissed off. Then a train chunka chunka chunka guitar noise! Nice finger-dropping - sounds REALLY irked! Great repetition at end - the only groove on the CD! High voices talking over lengthy ending and breakdown.
Now that you've heard each one, at least vicariously, it should obvious why the last one is better than the other two. After all, you didn't hear any "REALLY"s in the first two, now did you? Mmmm? Mmm? Mm? M?
Sorry, my lips were stuck together for a moment. God Damn You, Jolly Rancher And Sons!
Summary - starts with two chunks a sheeit, continues with four chunks a sheeit with lil' pearls and diamonds you can pick out of 'em, and ends with one heck of a good song. And that's an opinion a man can step on and ride around for a while.
(*gallops away on a beautiful black Thoroughbred opinion*)
(*gets lonely; fucks it; feels guilty*)
i've only heard one of the songs, and while i enjoy the hell out of it, i can totally understand how someone could call it a pile of garbage. because it pretty much is. but it sure is fun!
by the way, how about you get a blood brothers page up?? i had no idea you were into them, so i wanna hear your hilarious yet poignant insights on their catalogue!